--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating…" description: "\"“Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I as..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg" --- # Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people… ![“Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them. "Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years."…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg) > ““Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them. "Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years." "Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?" "That's right." "OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?" "Uh huh." "Dinosaurs." You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point: And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!" "I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said. "Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said. But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!" Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, "OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?" He goes: "God put those here to test our faith." "I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out." Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter: "Did you believe in dinosaurs?" "Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!" "You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!" "It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!" "Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!" They believe this. But you ever notice how people who believe in Creationism usually look pretty unevolved. Eyes really close together, big furry hands and feet? "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it. Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? "Ow." Might be why he hasn't shown up yet. "Man, they're still wearing crosses. Fuck it, I'm not goin' back, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes, I might show up again, but... let me bury fossils with you, Dad. Fuck 'em, let's fuck with 'em! Hand me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”” [Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The routine satirically critiques literalist religious chronologies, exposing contradictions between faith and scientific evidence. **In simple terms:** It mocks how some religious believers force‑fit science into their timeline. Key Takeaway Question beliefs that ignore evidence. Themes religion science skepticism humor Mood ironic provocative Type satirical philosophical When to use this quote - debates on creationism - education - media commentary - personal belief systems Key Concepts chronology faith critical thinking myth‑making Questions to Reflect On - What evidence would change a literalist view? - How can humor foster respectful discourse on faith? A Different Perspective Humor may alienate believers, limiting constructive dialogue. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adam and eve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adam-and-eve/) [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) [Fundamentalist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fundamentalist/) [God Created](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/god-created/) [Loch ness monster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loch-ness-monster/) [Praise the lord](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/praise-the-lord/) [St peter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/st-peter/) [Thank you lord](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thank-you-lord/) [Thousand years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thousand-years/) [Trouble sleeping](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trouble-sleeping/) ## Related quotes > [“I know the fucking Bible, and there ain't no fucking Book of Leviathan.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/i-know-the-fucking-bible-and-there-ain-t-no-fucking-book-of-leviathan/) [Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/) > [Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in right now here man. I think God put you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/dinosaur-fossils-god-put-those-there-to-test-our-faith-thank-god-i-m/) [Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/) > [Fundamentalist Christianity appeals to pre-civilized, prudish tribal people who are not ready for urban feudal pleasures.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-leary/fundamentalist-christianity-appeals-to-pre-civilized-prudish-tribal/) [Timothy Leary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-leary/) > [Fundamentalist Christianity is not just a threat to lesbians and gays, but to all Americans who cherish democracy and the rights and protections guaranteed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mel-white/fundamentalist-christianity-is-not-just-a-threat-to-lesbians-and-gays/) [Mel White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mel-white/) > [It is imperative for many branches of fundamentalist christianity to constantly feel conspired against...so they cite humanist manifestos and theosophical societies and concoct these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-michael-straczynski/it-is-imperative-for-many-branches-of-fundamentalist-christianity-to/) [J. Michael Straczynski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-michael-straczynski/) > [Any hope that America would finally grow up vanished with the rise of fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, with its born-again regression, its pink-and-gold concept of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/florence-king/any-hope-that-america-would-finally-grow-up-vanished-with-the-rise-of/) [Florence King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/florence-king/) > [I remember being like, 12 years old, and this was in the days before cell phones, or at least, having a cell phone. Some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-baio/i-remember-being-like-12-years-old-and-this-was-in-the-days-before/) [Chris Baio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-baio/) > [“In any case,” the doctor said, “I will not sleep for an hour or so yet; at my age an hour’s reading before bedtime…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shirley-jackson/in-any-case-the-doctor-said-i-will-not-sleep-for-an-hour-or-so-yet-at/) [Shirley Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shirley-jackson/) > [Legend says.. when you're having trouble sleeping at night, it's because you're awake in someone elses dreams.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/legend-says-when-you-re-having-trouble-sleeping-at-night-it-s-because/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Also a good B complex vitamin taken with food can help support neurotransmitters in the brain that are responsible for stress management, and have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-simsek/also-a-good-b-complex-vitamin-taken-with-food-can-help-support/) [Dennis Simsek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-simsek/) > [“I think he could handle being used. 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Great comedy provides an answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/good-comedy-helps-people-know-they-re-not-alone-great-comedy-provides/) [Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/) > [People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. 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" The voice of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elie-wiesel/ten-thousand-men-had-come-to-attend-solemn-service-heads-of-the/) [Elie Wiesel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elie-wiesel/) [Browse all 328 Adam and eve quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adam-and-eve/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them. \"Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years.\" \"Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?\" \"That's right.\" \"OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?\" \"Uh huh.\" \"Dinosaurs.\" You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point: And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. \"What a big fucking lizard, Lord!\" \"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book,\" Luke said. \"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book,\" Matthew said. But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: \"Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!\" Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, \"OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?\" He goes: \"God put those here to test our faith.\" \"I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out.\" Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: \"Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!\" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter: \"Did you believe in dinosaurs?\" \"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!\" \"You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!\" \"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!\" \"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!\" They believe this. But you ever notice how people who believe in Creationism usually look pretty unevolved. Eyes really close together, big furry hands and feet? \"I believe God created me in one day.\" Yeah, looks like he rushed it. Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? \"Ow.\" Might be why he hasn't shown up yet. \"Man, they're still wearing crosses. Fuck it, I'm not goin' back, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes, I might show up again, but... let me bury fossils with you, Dad. Fuck 'em, let's fuck with 'em! Hand me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Hicks" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating-these-people-actually-believe/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Adam and eve" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating-these-people-actually-believe/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/bill-hicks-970_adam-and-eve_fundamentalist-christianity-fascinating_1627199.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. 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