--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When people feel criticized, they almost…" description: "\"When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the behavior you want them to change.\" — Bill Crawford" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png" --- # When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the… ![“When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the behavior you want them to change.” quote by Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png) > “When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the behavior you want them to change.” [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Criticism often triggers defensive reactions, making people protect the very behavior you hope to modify. **In simple terms:** Defending behavior blocks change. Key Takeaway Address feelings before behavior. Themes psychology communication defensiveness Mood empathetic reflective Type advice psychological When to use this quote - coaching - conflict resolution - leadership training - customer service Key Concepts cognitive dissonance self‑justification Questions to Reflect On - How can you frame feedback to reduce defensiveness? - What alternative approaches can lower resistance? A Different Perspective People may resist change if they feel attacked. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) [Habits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/habits/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) ## Related quotes > [If you defend a behavior by arguing that people are programmed directly for it, then how do you continue to defend it if your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-jay-gould/if-you-defend-a-behavior-by-arguing-that-people-are-programmed/) [Stephen Jay Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-jay-gould/) > [If there's one American belief I hold above all others, it's that those who would set themselves up in judgment on matters of what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/if-there-s-one-american-belief-i-hold-above-all-others-it-s-that/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [I am a proud Article III judge. We've been criticized from the beginning of this great country. What I will say about me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amul-thapar/i-am-a-proud-article-iii-judge-we-ve-been-criticized-from-the/) [Amul Thapar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amul-thapar/) > [I get criticized for a lot of what I write about, but as far as I'm concerned I'm actually standing up and having a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-cave/i-get-criticized-for-a-lot-of-what-i-write-about-but-as-far-as-i-m/) [Nick Cave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-cave/) > [That's part of the deal. You're going to be criticized. I always welcomed that. Not everyone believes what I believe. And I welcome the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-warner/that-s-part-of-the-deal-you-re-going-to-be-criticized-i-always/) [Kurt Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-warner/) > [It saddens me when public officials and bureaucrats are criticized for ulterior motives, none of which I have ever found in a government bureaucrat,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-k-powell/it-saddens-me-when-public-officials-and-bureaucrats-are-criticized/) [Michael K. Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-k-powell/) > [Porter is my eldest child, and I tended to be fiercely protective when he was criticized. He actually was not a big complainer about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-shreve/porter-is-my-eldest-child-and-i-tended-to-be-fiercely-protective-when/) [Susan Shreve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-shreve/) > [“You may be worried about earning their respect, and that’s natural. Unfortunately, though, being overly focused on respect can backfire because it’ll make you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-malone-scott/you-may-be-worried-about-earning-their-respect-and-that-s-natural/) [Kim Malone Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-malone-scott/) > [If you never get criticized, chances are you aren't getting anything done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-r-swindoll/if-you-never-get-criticized-chances-are-you-aren-t-getting-anything/) [Charles R. Swindoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-r-swindoll/) > [“It is incredibly tempting to disparage people who didn’t “change” with us. I have criticized the words of others when the same words came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jen-hatmaker/it-is-incredibly-tempting-to-disparage-people-who-didn-t-change-with/) [Jen Hatmaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jen-hatmaker/) > [No one likes to be criticized, of course, but if the things we successfully strive for do not make our future selves happy, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-gilbert/no-one-likes-to-be-criticized-of-course-but-if-the-things-we/) [Daniel Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-gilbert/) > [People have said things about me, and wrote and criticized me about things in the past, but it goes in one ear and out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-mayweather-jr/people-have-said-things-about-me-and-wrote-and-criticized-me-about/) [Floyd Mayweather, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-mayweather-jr/) > [When 'The Thin Blue Line' came out, I was criticized by many people for using reenactments, as if I wasn't dedicated to the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/errol-morris/when-the-thin-blue-line-came-out-i-was-criticized-by-many-people-for/) [Errol Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/errol-morris/) > [“To hear, in the short space of one week, a Scottish terrier booed by an audience and President Roosevelt criticized by Charles Lindbergh was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-b-white/to-hear-in-the-short-space-of-one-week-a-scottish-terrier-booed-by-an/) [E. B. White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-b-white/) > ['The Matrix' is a movie that is all about glamour. I could do a whole talk on 'The Matrix' and glamour. It was criticized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-postrel/the-matrix-is-a-movie-that-is-all-about-glamour-i-could-do-a-whole/) [Virginia Postrel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-postrel/) ## More by Bill Crawford > [Making changes isn't about stopping the problem, it's about starting the solution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/making-changes-isn-t-about-stopping-the-problem-it-s-about-starting/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Worry, shame, and fear can't be the energy with which we deal with food and weight. It only spurs us to eat more food…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/worry-shame-and-fear-can-t-be-the-energy-with-which-we-deal-with-food/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [One key to creating a meaningful life, is choosing what we want to feel, and for how long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/one-key-to-creating-a-meaningful-life-is-choosing-what-we-want-to/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [The problem with lethargy is that doing nothing validates the fear that nothing can be done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/the-problem-with-lethargy-is-that-doing-nothing-validates-the-fear/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Want to change your experience of life? Change the problem to the practice field.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/want-to-change-your-experience-of-life-change-the-problem-to-the/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Becoming critical in the face of criticism, only inspires more criticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/becoming-critical-in-the-face-of-criticism-only-inspires-more/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Children don't know that they are lovable until they are loved. They need to see it in our eyes before they can accept it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/children-don-t-know-that-they-are-lovable-until-they-are-loved-they/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Creating a meaningful life has less to do with how we feel about our past than what we do about our future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/creating-a-meaningful-life-has-less-to-do-with-how-we-feel-about-our/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [There are only three things we 'have to' do in this world we have to be born, we have to die, and we have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/there-are-only-three-things-we-have-to-do-in-this-world-we-have-to-be/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Stress is an indicator of our belief in the value and validity of our worries and fears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/stress-is-an-indicator-of-our-belief-in-the-value-and-validity-of-our/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [You can't use stress, anxiety, frustration, and worry to deal with your stress, anxiety, frustration, and worry. It's like pulling up to a burning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/you-can-t-use-stress-anxiety-frustration-and-worry-to-deal-with-your/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [You can't 'cope with' change anymore than you can 'manage' stress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/you-can-t-cope-with-change-anymore-than-you-can-manage-stress/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [When faced with conflicting thoughts and emotions, we must decide what to trust, what we fear, or what we know. What's important is that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/when-faced-with-conflicting-thoughts-and-emotions-we-must-decide-what/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [To spank or not to spank isn't the question the question is whether whether we are teaching a quality we want our kids to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/to-spank-or-not-to-spank-isn-t-the-question-the-question-is-whether/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) > [Love will keep us safe when we commit to choosing the kind of qualities, characteristics, and relationships that we would recommend to someone we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/love-will-keep-us-safe-when-we-commit-to-choosing-the-kind-of/) [Bill Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) [Explore all 121 Bill Crawford quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/) ## More Behavior quotes > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [By making conscious choices in our behavior and where we focus our attention, we can transform our experience of our body, decrease our biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/by-making-conscious-choices-in-our-behavior-and-where-we-focus-our/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [As you begin changing your thinking, start immediately to change your behaviour. Begin to act the part of the person you would like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-you-begin-changing-your-thinking-start-immediately-to-change-your/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I now know that deep within the human concept is something dark, selfish, and completely willing to do whatever is necessary to support the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-west/i-now-know-that-deep-within-the-human-concept-is-something-dark/) [Melissa West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-west/) > [“We are endowed with genes which code out our reaction to beavers and otters, maybe our reaction to each other as well. We are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-thomas/we-are-endowed-with-genes-which-code-out-our-reaction-to-beavers-and/) [Lewis Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-thomas/) > [The number of poor, and poorly prepared, students who succeed in college and beyond undercuts the simplistic notion that economic or educational disadvantage is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-merullo/the-number-of-poor-and-poorly-prepared-students-who-succeed-in/) [Roland Merullo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-merullo/) > [To behave creatively in art means behavior with skill; and skill comes from discipline, not derangement. The artist who knows the rules -and proportion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burne-hogarth/to-behave-creatively-in-art-means-behavior-with-skill-and-skill-comes/) Burne Hogarth > [You don't put milk in chamomile tea - that's disgusting behavior! That's not right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-fraser/you-don-t-put-milk-in-chamomile-tea-that-s-disgusting-behavior-that-s/) [Laura Fraser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-fraser/) > [The laws of thermodynamics, as empirically determined, express the approximate and probable behavior of systems of a great number of particles, or, more precisely,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-willard-gibbs/the-laws-of-thermodynamics-as-empirically-determined-express-the/) J. Willard Gibbs > [I started with the belief that every person who came to the laboratory was free to accept or to reject the dictates of authority.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanley-milgram/i-started-with-the-belief-that-every-person-who-came-to-the/) [Stanley Milgram](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanley-milgram/) > [The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-gladwell/the-tipping-point-is-that-magic-moment-when-an-idea-trend-or-social/) [Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-gladwell/) > [I think we've told a lot of lies about human behavior through film.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-arquette/i-think-we-ve-told-a-lot-of-lies-about-human-behavior-through-film/) [Patricia Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-arquette/) > [The strongest rebellion may be expressed in quiet, undramatic behavior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-spock/the-strongest-rebellion-may-be-expressed-in-quiet-undramatic-behavior/) [Benjamin Spock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-spock/) > [The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-conquest/the-behavior-of-any-bureaucratic-organization-can-best-be-understood/) [Robert Conquest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-conquest/) > [If you want good behavior, don't pay on a commission basis. Our judges aren't paid so much a case. We keep them pretty well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-munger/if-you-want-good-behavior-don-t-pay-on-a-commission-basis-our-judges/) [Charlie Munger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-munger/) [Browse all 4,218 Behavior quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the behavior you want them to change.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Crawford" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost-always-defend-the-behavior/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Behavior" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost-always-defend-the-behavior/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/523/bill-crawford-3824_behavior_when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost_1574732.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When people feel criticized, they almost always defend the behavior you want them to change.” — Bill Crawford", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Bill Crawford", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-crawford/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "When people feel criticized, they almost...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost-always-defend-the-behavior/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-crawford/when-people-feel-criticized-they-almost-always-defend-the-behavior/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```