--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If one’s husband had been married before…" description: "\"“If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a fairly common condition—and a close relative of his first wife’s died, the second wife was expe..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png" --- # If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a… ![“If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a fairly common condition—and a close relative of his first wife’s died, the second wife was expected to engage in “complementary mourning”—a kind of proxy mourning on behalf of the deceased earlier partner.” quote by Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png) > ““If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a fairly common condition—and a close relative of his first wife’s died, the second wife was expected to engage in “complementary mourning”—a kind of proxy mourning on behalf of the deceased earlier partner.”” [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Bryson describes the social custom where a second wife mourns for her husband's previous spouse, reflecting complex mourning rituals. **In simple terms:** Second wives sometimes perform proxy mourning for a deceased first wife. Key Takeaway Recognize varied mourning practices. Themes custom grief family dynamics social norms history Mood empathetic thoughtful informative Type anthropological social When to use this quote - family gatherings - funeral planning - counseling sessions - historical research - cultural studies Key Concepts ritual mourning proxy mourning bereavement customs cultural anthropology Questions to Reflect On - What emotional challenges arise from proxy mourning? - How do cultural expectations shape grief expression? A Different Perspective Proxy mourning may feel inauthentic or emotionally burdensome for participants. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Behalf Deceased](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behalf-deceased-4228019/) [Complementary Mourning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/complementary-mourning-4228016/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Married Widowed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-widowed-669304/) [Mourning Behalf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mourning-behalf-4228018/) [Proxy Mourning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/proxy-mourning-4228017/) ## Related quotes > [Statistically, people who have been happily married and then widowed tend to remarry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nigella-lawson/statistically-people-who-have-been-happily-married-and-then-widowed/) [Nigella Lawson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nigella-lawson/) > [Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I'd almost burst into tears.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/ancient-eyes-had-stared-at-me-filled-with-ancient-grief-and-something/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [“You've been my beacon of light in my storm of grief, and I don't know if I could live without you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-ashley/you-ve-been-my-beacon-of-light-in-my-storm-of-grief-and-i-don-t-know/) [Katie Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-ashley/) > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Short time seems long in sorrow's sharp sustaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/short-time-seems-long-in-sorrow-s-sharp-sustaining/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [That Woman is in love with her own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/that-woman-is-in-love-with-her-own-grief/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/suppressed-grief-suffocates-it-rages-within-the-breast-and-is-forced/) [Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/) > [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/) [Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/) [Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/) [Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/) > [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/) [Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/) ## More by Bill Bryson > [Most big companies don't like you very much, except hotels, airlines and Microsoft, which don't like you at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/most-big-companies-don-t-like-you-very-much-except-hotels-airlines/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“But Welsh spellings are as nothing compared with Irish Gaelic, a language in which spelling and pronunciation give the impression of having been devised…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/but-welsh-spellings-are-as-nothing-compared-with-irish-gaelic-a/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“Pantaloons were often worn tight as paint and were not a great deal less revealing, particularly as they were worn without underwear. . .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/pantaloons-were-often-worn-tight-as-paint-and-were-not-a-great-deal/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [If you go out on the Appalachian Trail, you have to bring so much more equipment - a tent, sleeping bag - but if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-you-go-out-on-the-appalachian-trail-you-have-to-bring-so-much-more/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“The dining table was a plain board called by that name. 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For 93 percent of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/every-twenty-minutes-on-the-appalachian-trail-katz-and-i-walked/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“A diarist named George Templeton Strong recorded in the winter of 1866 that even with two furnaces alight and all the fireplaces blazing, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/a-diarist-named-george-templeton-strong-recorded-in-the-winter-of/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/tune-your-television-to-any-channel-it-doesn-t-receive-and-about-1/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [As a rule of thumb, I would submit that if you need to call your floss provider, for any reason, you are probably not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/as-a-rule-of-thumb-i-would-submit-that-if-you-need-to-call-your-floss/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [Nobody gets excited about the future at all, ever. The future is something we find depressing and worrisome.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/nobody-gets-excited-about-the-future-at-all-ever-the-future-is/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“What made this particularly interesting is that John Howard is by far the dullest man in Australia. Imagine a very committed funeral home director…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/what-made-this-particularly-interesting-is-that-john-howard-is-by-far/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [I would make a genuinely terrible guide. I can't remember things. I would get half way through telling a story or explaining something and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/i-would-make-a-genuinely-terrible-guide-i-can-t-remember-things-i/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [“In the mystifying world that was Victorian parenthood, obedience took precedence over all considerations of affection and happiness, and that odd, painful conviction remained…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/in-the-mystifying-world-that-was-victorian-parenthood-obedience-took/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [If this book has a lesson, it is that we are awfully lucky to be here-and by 'we' I mean every living thing. To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-this-book-has-a-lesson-it-is-that-we-are-awfully-lucky-to-be-here/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) [Explore all 656 Bill Bryson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) ## More Grief quotes > [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/) [Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) > [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/) [Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/) [Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/) [Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/) > [Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/suppressed-grief-suffocates-it-rages-within-the-breast-and-is-forced/) [Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/) > [That Woman is in love with her own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/that-woman-is-in-love-with-her-own-grief/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Short time seems long in sorrow's sharp sustaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/short-time-seems-long-in-sorrow-s-sharp-sustaining/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“You've been my beacon of light in my storm of grief, and I don't know if I could live without you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-ashley/you-ve-been-my-beacon-of-light-in-my-storm-of-grief-and-i-don-t-know/) [Katie Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-ashley/) > [Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I'd almost burst into tears.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/ancient-eyes-had-stared-at-me-filled-with-ancient-grief-and-something/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [Meanwhile, the trees were just as green as before; the birds sang and the sun shone as clearly now as ever. The familiar surroundings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-hardy/meanwhile-the-trees-were-just-as-green-as-before-the-birds-sang-and/) [Thomas Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-hardy/) [Browse all 8,012 Grief quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a fairly common condition—and a close relative of his first wife’s died, the second wife was expected to engage in “complementary mourning”—a kind of proxy mourning on behalf of the deceased earlier partner.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Bryson" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before-and-widowed-a-fairly-common/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Grief" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before-and-widowed-a-fairly-common/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87f/bill-bryson-340_grief_if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before_2105759.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If one’s husband had been married before and widowed—a fairly common condition—and a close relative of his…” — Bill Bryson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Bill Bryson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“If one’s husband had been married...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before-and-widowed-a-fairly-common/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/if-one-s-husband-had-been-married-before-and-widowed-a-fairly-common/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```