--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I told the priest, Don't count on any…" description: "\"I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming\" — Bible" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg" --- # I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God… ![“I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming” quote by Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg) > “I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming” [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker mocks religious expectations, suggesting divine failure and human skepticism toward prophecy. **In simple terms:** Questioning belief in a second coming. Key Takeaway Critically examine faith claims. Themes faith skepticism humor religion Mood cynical ironic provocative Type satire religious philosophical When to use this quote - personal crisis - public preaching - media commentary Key Concepts Satire theology existential doubt Questions to Reflect On - What drives doubt in religious narratives? - How does satire influence belief? A Different Perspective Humor may alienate believers. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Came Slumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/came-slumming-3069213/) [Coming God](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/coming-god-318860/) [First time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-time/) [God](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/god/) [Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/priest/) [Second Coming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/second-coming-317547/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Told Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/told-priest-1616698/) ## Related quotes > [“Two of my closest seminary friends broke all contact with me after I told them I was leaving priesthood and coming out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-benedict/two-of-my-closest-seminary-friends-broke-all-contact-with-me-after-i/) [Charles Benedict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-benedict/) > [“What had she told the priest? Hawk had said their holy man could not perform the wedding unless he was sure the bride was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josie-litton/what-had-she-told-the-priest-hawk-had-said-their-holy-man-could-not/) [Josie Litton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josie-litton/) > [“I told the priest my god is a black woman he poured holy water on me and scheduled me for an exorcism”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ijeoma-umebinyuo/i-told-the-priest-my-god-is-a-black-woman-he-poured-holy-water-on-me/) [Ijeoma Umebinyuo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ijeoma-umebinyuo/) > [Neither shall any priest drink wine, when they enter into the inner court.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/neither-shall-any-priest-drink-wine-when-they-enter-into-the-inner/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [The attitude of the average Christian today is relax and be raptured. But He is coming... and when God gets angry you´ve no idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-ravenhill/the-attitude-of-the-average-christian-today-is-relax-and-be-raptured/) [Leonard Ravenhill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-ravenhill/) > [God is coming! God is coming! All the element we swim in, this existence, echoes ahead the advent. God is coming! Can't you feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-wangerin/god-is-coming-god-is-coming-all-the-element-we-swim-in-this-existence/) [Walter Wangerin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-wangerin/) > [It doesn't matter what has happened, better things are coming. God's plan produces hope in me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-macdonald/it-doesn-t-matter-what-has-happened-better-things-are-coming-god-s/) [James MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-macdonald/) > [“people begin coming to God once they stop being religious, because there is only one master of the human heart—Jesus Christ, not religion. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/people-begin-coming-to-god-once-they-stop-being-religious-because/) [Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/) > [The darkness is coming now god dammit!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billie-joe-armstrong/the-darkness-is-coming-now-god-dammit/) [Billie Joe Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billie-joe-armstrong/) > [The prevailing idea seems to be, that I come to God and ask Him for something that I want, and that I expect Him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-w-pink/the-prevailing-idea-seems-to-be-that-i-come-to-god-and-ask-him-for/) [Arthur W. Pink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-w-pink/) > [Coming before God in quietness & waiting upon Him in silence often can accomplish more than days of feverish activity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aiden-wilson-tozer/coming-before-god-in-quietness-waiting-upon-him-in-silence-often-can/) [Aiden Wilson Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aiden-wilson-tozer/) > [A revelation is to be received as coming from God, not because of its internal excellence, or because we judge it to be worthy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-law/a-revelation-is-to-be-received-as-coming-from-god-not-because-of-its/) [William Law](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-law/) > [Worship is about encounter-coming into God's presence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-w-hayford/worship-is-about-encounter-coming-into-god-s-presence/) [Jack W. Hayford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-w-hayford/) > [Many people begin coming to God once they stop being religious.There's only one master of the heart-Jesus, not religion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/many-people-begin-coming-to-god-once-they-stop-being-religious-there/) [Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/) > [“Now let me tell you what I know. Our God is real. Our God is coming. Our God has plans for us. Our lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennie-allen/now-let-me-tell-you-what-i-know-our-god-is-real-our-god-is-coming-our/) [Jennie Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennie-allen/) ## More by Bible > [As we recognize Palm Sunday, how you would welcome the Lord Jesus Christ into your own life on a daily basis. -Matt. 21:1-11](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/as-we-recognize-palm-sunday-how-you-would-welcome-the-lord-jesus/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. (Psalms 55:1)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/give-ear-to-my-prayer-o-god-and-hide-not-thyself-from-my-supplication/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/cast-me-not-off-in-the-time-of-old-age-forsake-me-not-when-my/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/jesus-said-unto-her-i-am-the-resurrection-and-the-life-he-that/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [A garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/a-garment-of-praise-instead-of-a-spirit-of-despair/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [I bring you the most joyful news ever announced, and it is for everyone! The Savior, yes the Messiah, the Lord has been born…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/i-bring-you-the-most-joyful-news-ever-announced-and-it-is-for/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/and-saith-unto-him-every-man-at-the-beginning-doth-set-forth-good/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Their drink is sour: they have committed whoredom continually: her rulers with shame do love, Give ye.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/their-drink-is-sour-they-have-committed-whoredom-continually-her/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity (1 John 3:18).](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/our-love-must-not-be-a-thing-of-words-and-fine-talk-it-must-be-a/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [And the lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make thy bones: and thou shalt be like a spring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/and-the-lord-shall-guide-thee-continually-and-satisfy-thy-soul-in/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/now-the-brother-shall-betray-the-brother-to-death-and-the-father-the/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he cast himself down upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/so-ahab-went-up-to-eat-and-to-drink-and-elijah-went-up-to-the-top-of/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Do not be decieved; Evil company corrupts good habits.- 1 cori 15:33](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/do-not-be-decieved-evil-company-corrupts-good-habits-1-cori-15-33/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [He'd drink the piss from a brewer's horse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/he-d-drink-the-piss-from-a-brewer-s-horse/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) > [Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/rebuke-not-an-elder-but-entreat-him-as-a-father-and-the-younger-men/) [Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) [Explore all 1,153 Bible quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/) ## More First time quotes > [A man walks down the street. It's a street in a strange world. Maybe it's the third world. Maybe it's his first time around.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-simon/a-man-walks-down-the-street-it-s-a-street-in-a-strange-world-maybe-it/) [Paul Simon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-simon/) > [“I’m so stressed that a weird Olympic-style commentary starts up in my head. And here we have Zelah Green, the fourteen-year-old champion of rituals,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vanessa-curtis/i-m-so-stressed-that-a-weird-olympic-style-commentary-starts-up-in-my/) [Vanessa Curtis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vanessa-curtis/) > [I'm very used to working with first time actors - you can just look back at 'E.T.' with Drew Barrymore, and Christian Bale from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/i-m-very-used-to-working-with-first-time-actors-you-can-just-look/) [Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/) > [“I’m waiting for you,” he murmured, smiling a slow, familiar grin that seemed to hint at a secret between them. And for the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-monir/i-m-waiting-for-you-he-murmured-smiling-a-slow-familiar-grin-that/) [Alexandra Monir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-monir/) > [“Treat every natural beauty you met as if you see them for the first and last time!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/treat-every-natural-beauty-you-met-as-if-you-see-them-for-the-first/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“I won’t break your heart. For the first time in my life, I’ve found something worth fighting for, someone more important than me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelle-bliss/i-won-t-break-your-heart-for-the-first-time-in-my-life-i-ve-found/) [Chelle Bliss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelle-bliss/) > [Life is like a parachute jump: you have to get it right the first time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/life-is-like-a-parachute-jump-you-have-to-get-it-right-the-first-time/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [When I was in my twenties and just so sexually prolific, the first time I went to Machu Picchu, this guy, a spiritual teacher,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-harrelson/when-i-was-in-my-twenties-and-just-so-sexually-prolific-the-first/) [Woody Harrelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-harrelson/) > [When my kids were in the school play for the first time, I decided I had to make the costumes from scratch and bought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-alexander/when-my-kids-were-in-the-school-play-for-the-first-time-i-decided-i/) [Sarah Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-alexander/) > [“I will run every mile, i will save every line, i will say i reached the top and i will fall back down standing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mennah-al-refaey/i-will-run-every-mile-i-will-save-every-line-i-will-say-i-reached-the/) [Mennah al refaey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mennah-al-refaey/) > [“Or maybe your magic isn't that destructive after all. The rain of Doritos, the bed thing,this...Maybe it's just that you create too big, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hawkins/or-maybe-your-magic-isn-t-that-destructive-after-all-the-rain-of/) [Rachel Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hawkins/) > [There is no pain like the first time you get your heart broken.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ne-yo/there-is-no-pain-like-the-first-time-you-get-your-heart-broken/) [Ne-Yo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ne-yo/) > [I don't know why, but everybody thinks that I'm short. When they see me for the first time, women are always surprised to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariah-carey/i-don-t-know-why-but-everybody-thinks-that-i-m-short-when-they-see-me/) [Mariah Carey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariah-carey/) > [“I met Suffering on a quiet road, just as the sun was setting behind me. Its presence was heavy, like an old coat I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanjo-jendayi/i-met-suffering-on-a-quiet-road-just-as-the-sun-was-setting-behind-me/) [Sanjo Jendayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanjo-jendayi/) > [“You never talk to the pitcher when…” He shook his head. “You just never talk to the pitcher when--” “I just wanted to congratulate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hawthorne/you-never-talk-to-the-pitcher-when-he-shook-his-head-you-just-never/) [Rachel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hawthorne/) [Browse all 9,309 First time quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-time/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bible" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-second-coming-god-got-his-ass/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "First time" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-second-coming-god-got-his-ass/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c0/bible-141_first-time_i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-sec_1937857.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here…” — Bible", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Bible", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bible/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I told the priest, Don't count...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-second-coming-god-got-his-ass/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bible/i-told-the-priest-don-t-count-on-any-second-coming-god-got-his-ass/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```