--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: For too long we have been protecting the…" description: "\"For too long we have been protecting the ones who have hurt us by minimizing our trauma and deprivation. It's time to stop protecting them and start to..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/beverly-engel-20203_deprivation_for-too-long-we-have-been-protecting-the_3198519.jpg" --- # For too long we have been protecting the ones who have… ![“For too long we have been protecting the ones who have hurt us by minimizing our trauma and deprivation. It's time to stop protecting them and start to protect ourselves. We have been told and feel that we are responsible for their emotional well-being. We are not. We are responsible only for…” quote by Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/beverly-engel-20203_deprivation_for-too-long-we-have-been-protecting-the_3198519.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/beverly-engel-20203_deprivation_for-too-long-we-have-been-protecting-the_3198519.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/beverly-engel-20203_deprivation_for-too-long-we-have-been-protecting-the_3198519.jpg) > “For too long we have been protecting the ones who have hurt us by minimizing our trauma and deprivation. It's time to stop protecting them and start to protect ourselves. We have been told and feel that we are responsible for their emotional well-being. We are not. We are responsible only for ourselves.” [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We must stop should responsibility for others' emotional wounds and focus on self‑care. **In simple terms:** Stop protecting abusers; protect yourself. Key Takeaway Prioritize your own well‑being. Themes boundaries self‑care empowerment Mood assertive empowering Type motivational psychological When to use this quote - family conflict - workplace harassment - friendship dynamics - mental health Key Concepts emotional responsibility toxic relationships Questions to Reflect On - Who are you protecting at your own expense? - How can you set healthier boundaries? A Different Perspective Self‑sacrifice can be culturally reinforced. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Deprivation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deprivation/) [Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional/) [Emotional well being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-well-being/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Trauma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trauma/) [Well being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/well-being/) ## Related quotes > [“You are responsible for your own emotional and mental well-being and if you have given someone else the power over your life for those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/you-are-responsible-for-your-own-emotional-and-mental-well-being-and/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [“To believe that someone else is responsible for your emotional state is to give them a sort of psychic power over you they do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-seymour/to-believe-that-someone-else-is-responsible-for-your-emotional-state/) [John Seymour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-seymour/) > [“Society tells women that they have to be responsible for the emotional health of their relationships and then tells them they're weak for feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alisha-rai/society-tells-women-that-they-have-to-be-responsible-for-the/) [Alisha Rai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alisha-rai/) > [“When you teach your daughter, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-stout/when-you-teach-your-daughter-explicitly-or-by-passive-rejection-that/) [Martha Stout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-stout/) > [“By protecting yourself, you may be lucky and never feel that kind of hurt again, but it’s doubtful. You can’t hide from it. Unfortunately,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-naigle/by-protecting-yourself-you-may-be-lucky-and-never-feel-that-kind-of/) [Nancy Naigle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-naigle/) > [“I care enough for you to let you go," he whispered. "But I'll never stop protecting you”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-c-reed/i-care-enough-for-you-to-let-you-go-he-whispered-but-i-ll-never-stop/) [J.C. Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-c-reed/) > [“Just because you let someone in doesn’t mean you have to stop protecting yourself. It just means you have someone to share the job…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harper-sloan/just-because-you-let-someone-in-doesn-t-mean-you-have-to-stop/) [Harper Sloan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harper-sloan/) > [Emotional dependence is the opposite of emotional strength. It means needing to have others to survive, wanting others to "do it for us," and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-thoele/emotional-dependence-is-the-opposite-of-emotional-strength-it-means/) [Sue Thoele](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-thoele/) > [I am a master at setting boundaries that protect my time, energy, creativity, and emotional well-being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-richardson/i-am-a-master-at-setting-boundaries-that-protect-my-time-energy/) [Cheryl Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-richardson/) > [Our society’s failure to recognize and care for the social and emotional well-being of our boys contributes to a nation of young men who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-siebel-newsom/our-society-s-failure-to-recognize-and-care-for-the-social-and/) Jennifer Siebel Newsom > [I was conveniently bisexual for a long time, and then I went, 'Come on, who am I kidding?' And I have to say, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-ball/i-was-conveniently-bisexual-for-a-long-time-and-then-i-went-come-on/) [Alan Ball](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-ball/) > [If you've heard Hillary Clinton's recent remarks on Ritalin and other drug use on children, you'll find the usual nauseating demagoguery. She appears to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-breggin/if-you-ve-heard-hillary-clinton-s-recent-remarks-on-ritalin-and-other/) [Peter Breggin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-breggin/) > [We all have ambivalent feelings toward work ... We try to avoid it, and yet we seem to require it for our emotional well-being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-florman/we-all-have-ambivalent-feelings-toward-work-we-try-to-avoid-it-and/) [Samuel Florman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-florman/) > [Combining paid employment with marriage and motherhood creates safeguards for emotional well-being. Nothing is certain in life, but generally the chances of happiness are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/faye-j-crosby/combining-paid-employment-with-marriage-and-motherhood-creates/) [Faye J Crosby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/faye-j-crosby/) > [A renaissance in cellular biology has recently revealed the molecular mechanisms by which thoughts and perceptions directly influence gene activity and cell behavior...Energy psychology,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-h-lipton/a-renaissance-in-cellular-biology-has-recently-revealed-the-molecular/) [Bruce H. Lipton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-h-lipton/) ## More by Beverly Engel > [It is far more important to know myself and take care of myself than it is to look good to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/it-is-far-more-important-to-know-myself-and-take-care-of-myself-than/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“There came a time in my life when I had to admit to myself that I have some very clear narcissistic tendencies. Ironically, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/there-came-a-time-in-my-life-when-i-had-to-admit-to-myself-that-i/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“If you live your life to please everyone else, you will continue to feel frustrated and powerless. This is because what others want may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/if-you-live-your-life-to-please-everyone-else-you-will-continue-to/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [Survivors have a difficult time expressing their feelings. They are more accustomed to minimizing their pain and hiding how they really feel, both from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/survivors-have-a-difficult-time-expressing-their-feelings-they-are/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“As you recover, you will feel more conscious of your surroundings. Freed from the ‘fog’ of your pain, fear, and confusion, you will awaken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/as-you-recover-you-will-feel-more-conscious-of-your-surroundings/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“You may be operating from the belief that you must do everything yourself because no one will ever be there for you. Or you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/you-may-be-operating-from-the-belief-that-you-must-do-everything/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [You have the right to your own ideas and opinions, to make your own decisions, and to have things go your way at times.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/you-have-the-right-to-your-own-ideas-and-opinions-to-make-your-own/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“Many neglected and abused children grow up to be adults who are afraid to take risks of striking out on their own. Many will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/many-neglected-and-abused-children-grow-up-to-be-adults-who-are/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“This is particularly true of those who "love too much" and those who tend to lose themselves in their relationships. Sometimes our love becomes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/this-is-particularly-true-of-those-who-love-too-much-and-those-who/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [Critical words to a child are as painful and damaging as being physically hit. They are verbal slaps in the face. Usually, critical words…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/critical-words-to-a-child-are-as-painful-and-damaging-as-being/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“emotional abuse is much more than verbal abuse. Emotional abuse can be defined as any nonphysical behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, subjugate,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/emotional-abuse-is-much-more-than-verbal-abuse-emotional-abuse-can-be/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [Positive and powerful: Sometimes people won't like me, and it's okay. Positive and powerful: I like me, and that's all that matters. Positive and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/positive-and-powerful-sometimes-people-won-t-like-me-and-it-s-okay/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [There are many types of emotional abuse but most is done in an attempt to control or subjugate another person. Emotional abuse is like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/there-are-many-types-of-emotional-abuse-but-most-is-done-in-an/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“Why Is It So Important to Remember? When you were abused, those around you acted as if it weren’t happening. Since no one else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/why-is-it-so-important-to-remember-when-you-were-abused-those-around/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [Accepting that your imperfections and so-called negative attributes are part of what makes you unique will help you to stop continually trying to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/accepting-that-your-imperfections-and-so-called-negative-attributes/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) [Explore all 31 Beverly Engel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) ## More Deprivation quotes > [Deprivation is for me what daffodils were for Wordsworth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-larkin/deprivation-is-for-me-what-daffodils-were-for-wordsworth/) [Philip Larkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-larkin/) > [“SOME OF THE HARDEST parts of parenting never change—like sleep deprivation, which, according to researchers at Queen’s University in Ontario, can in some respects…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-senior/some-of-the-hardest-parts-of-parenting-never-change-like-sleep/) [Jennifer Senior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-senior/) > [“We have created a manic world nauseous with the pursuit of material wealth. Many also bear their cross of imagined deprivation, while their fellow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthon-st-maarten/we-have-created-a-manic-world-nauseous-with-the-pursuit-of-material/) [Anthon St. Maarten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthon-st-maarten/) > [Capitalism has created a situation called scarcity. And that scarcity is not natural, it's socially induced. Along with that sense of scarcity, or feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/murray-bookchin/capitalism-has-created-a-situation-called-scarcity-and-that-scarcity/) [Murray Bookchin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/murray-bookchin/) > [It should surprise no one that the life of the writer - such as it is - is colorless to the point of sensory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-dillard/it-should-surprise-no-one-that-the-life-of-the-writer-such-as-it-is/) [Annie Dillard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-dillard/) > [My mother suffers mental health problems and has a learning deprivation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-rayner/my-mother-suffers-mental-health-problems-and-has-a-learning/) [Angela Rayner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-rayner/) > [What government has been doing, we've got major programmes now, of billions of pounds, which are directed by central government into these areas of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-prescott/what-government-has-been-doing-we-ve-got-major-programmes-now-of/) [John Prescott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-prescott/) > [“Suicide is nothing, but an act of depriving the soul from it's very right to liberation.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aniruddha-sastikar/suicide-is-nothing-but-an-act-of-depriving-the-soul-from-it-s-very/) [Aniruddha Sastikar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aniruddha-sastikar/) > [Many low-income children face chronic stress from nutritional deprivation or persistent violence at home or in the community. By addressing their medical, emotional and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irwin-redlener/many-low-income-children-face-chronic-stress-from-nutritional/) [Irwin Redlener](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irwin-redlener/) > [Inactivity and deprivation of all accustomed stimulus is not rest; it is a preparation for the tomb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robertson-davies/inactivity-and-deprivation-of-all-accustomed-stimulus-is-not-rest-it/) [Robertson Davies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robertson-davies/) > [As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-ferrara/as-soon-as-you-lay-down-that-s-when-the-most-bizarre-things-start/) [Adam Ferrara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-ferrara/) > [State governments seek local remedies for the globally fabricated deprivations and miseries in vain - just as the individuals-by-the-decree-of-fate (read: by the impact of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zygmunt-bauman/state-governments-seek-local-remedies-for-the-globally-fabricated/) [Zygmunt Bauman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zygmunt-bauman/) > [Discrimination and multiple deprivations of human rights are also frequently part of the problem, sentencing entire populations to poverty... It is surely a matter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/navi-pillay/discrimination-and-multiple-deprivations-of-human-rights-are-also/) Navi Pillay > [This lifestyle is not about deprivation. It's about living inspired.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-baur/this-lifestyle-is-not-about-deprivation-it-s-about-living-inspired/) [Gene Baur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-baur/) > [Strong convictions are the secret of surviving deprivation; your spirit can be full even when your stomach is empty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/strong-convictions-are-the-secret-of-surviving-deprivation-your/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) [Browse all 258 Deprivation quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deprivation/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For too long we have been protecting the ones who have hurt us by minimizing our trauma and deprivation. It's time to stop protecting them and start to protect ourselves. We have been told and feel that we are responsible for their emotional well-being. We are not. 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