--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We have gone on too long blaming or…" description: "\"“We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e2/betty-friedan-3185_children_we-have-gone-on-too-long-blaming-or-pity_1728835.jpg" --- # We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers… ![“We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have never grown to full humanity themselves. If the mother is at fault, why isn't it time to break the pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to…” quote by Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e2/betty-friedan-3185_children_we-have-gone-on-too-long-blaming-or-pity_1728835.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e2/betty-friedan-3185_children_we-have-gone-on-too-long-blaming-or-pity_1728835.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e2/betty-friedan-3185_children_we-have-gone-on-too-long-blaming-or-pity_1728835.jpg) > ““We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have never grown to full humanity themselves. If the mother is at fault, why isn't it time to break the pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to grow up and live their own lives? There never will be enough Prince Charmings or enough therapists to break that pattern now. It is society's job, and finally that of each woman alone. For it is not the strength of the mothers that is at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for "femininity." Our society forces boys, insofar as it can, to grow up, to endure the pains of growth, to educate themselves to work, to move on. Why aren't girls forced to grow up - to achieve somehow the core of self that will end the unnecessary dilemma, the mistaken choice between femaleness and humanness that is implied in the feminine mystique?”” [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Society pressures women to remain dependent and childlike, while men are urged to mature, creating a double standard that hinders women's full humanity. **In simple terms:** Women are forced into dependency while men are expected to mature. Key Takeaway Demand equal expectations for all genders. Themes gender roles dependency maturity feminine mystique social expectations Mood determined hopeful Type activist philosophical When to use this quote - education - workplace - family dynamics - policy making Key Concepts feminism psychology social critique Questions to Reflect On - What structures keep women in dependent roles? - How can societies promote balanced growth for all? A Different Perspective Changing deep-rooted cultural norms is slow and faces resistance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Feminine mystique](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminine-mystique/) [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Gender stereotypes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gender-stereotypes/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) ## Related quotes > [God has given you your country as cradle, and humanity as mother; you cannot rightly love your brethren of the cradle if you love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giuseppe-mazzini/god-has-given-you-your-country-as-cradle-and-humanity-as-mother-you/) [Giuseppe Mazzini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giuseppe-mazzini/) > [“If I died –” – Nick “Your father would have another child. That one won’t have your humanity. Your mother is what makes you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/if-i-died-nick-your-father-would-have-another-child-that-one-won-t/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [Fra Lippo, we have learned from thee A lesson of humanity: To every mother's heart forlorn, In every house the Christ is born.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-watson-gilder/fra-lippo-we-have-learned-from-thee-a-lesson-of-humanity-to-every/) [Richard Watson Gilder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-watson-gilder/) > [“It would be half-wrong to say it started with Sigmund Freud. It did not really start, in America, until the 1940s. And then again,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-would-be-half-wrong-to-say-it-started-with-sigmund-freud-it-did/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Instead of fulfilling the promise of infinite orgasmic bliss, sex in the America of the feminine mystique is becoming a strangely joyless national compulsion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/instead-of-fulfilling-the-promise-of-infinite-orgasmic-bliss-sex-in/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The only kind of work which permits an able woman to realize her abilities fully, to achieve identity in society in a life plan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-only-kind-of-work-which-permits-an-able-woman-to-realize-her/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The insights, interpretations both of theory and fact, and the implicit values of this book are inevitably my own. But whether or not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-insights-interpretations-both-of-theory-and-fact-and-the-implicit/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [We broke through the feminine mystique and women who were wives, mothers and housewives began to find themselves as people. That didn't mean they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/we-broke-through-the-feminine-mystique-and-women-who-were-wives/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [I realized that what I was saying was threatening, somehow, to the editors of women's magazines. That it threatened the very world they were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/i-realized-that-what-i-was-saying-was-threatening-somehow-to-the/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Each woman is made to feel it is her own cross to bear if she can't be the perfect clone of the male superman…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/each-woman-is-made-to-feel-it-is-her-own-cross-to-bear-if-she-can-t/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Over and over again, stories in women's magazines insist that women can know fulfillment only at the moment of giving birth to a child.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/over-and-over-again-stories-in-women-s-magazines-insist-that-women/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Strange new problems are being reported in the growing generations of children whose mothers were always there, driving them around, helping them with their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/strange-new-problems-are-being-reported-in-the-growing-generations-of/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The feminine mystique, elevated by Freudian theory into a scientific religion, sounded a single, overprotective, life-restricting, future-denying note for women. Girls who grew up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-elevated-by-freudian-theory-into-a-scientific/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-has-succeeded-in-burying-millions-of-american/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“It is both an irony and an indictment of the feminine mystique that it often forced the unhappy ones, the ugly ducklings, to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-is-both-an-irony-and-an-indictment-of-the-feminine-mystique-that/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) ## More by Betty Friedan > [It is easier to live life through someone else than to become complete yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-is-easier-to-live-life-through-someone-else-than-to-become/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [This idea that the employment of women, the movement of women outside the home into the work world, and their demand for equality is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/this-idea-that-the-employment-of-women-the-movement-of-women-outside/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [A good woman is one who loves passionately, has guts, seriousness and passionate convictions, takes responsibility, and shapes society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/a-good-woman-is-one-who-loves-passionately-has-guts-seriousness-and/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [...women who 'adjust' as housewives, who grow up wanting to be 'just a housewife,' are in as much danger as the millions who walked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/women-who-adjust-as-housewives-who-grow-up-wanting-to-be-just-a/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [You can have it all, just not all at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/you-can-have-it-all-just-not-all-at-the-same-time/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-is-easier-to-live-through-someone-else-than-to-complete-yourself/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Protectiveness has often muffled the sound of doors closing against women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/protectiveness-has-often-muffled-the-sound-of-doors-closing-against/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The problem is always being the children’s mommy, or the minister’s wife and never being myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-problem-is-always-being-the-children-s-mommy-or-the-minister-s/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-problem-lay-buried-unspoken-for-many-years-in-the-minds-of/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The man who is extremely and dangerously hungry has no other interest but food. Capacities not useful for the satisfying of hunger are pushed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-man-who-is-extremely-and-dangerously-hungry-has-no-other-interest/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Who knows what women can be when they are finally free to become themselves? Who knows what women's intelligence will contribute when it can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/who-knows-what-women-can-be-when-they-are-finally-free-to-become/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [If women’s role in life is limited solely to housewife/mother, it clearly ends when she can no longer bear more children and the children…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/if-women-s-role-in-life-is-limited-solely-to-housewife-mother-it/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-has-succeeded-in-burying-millions-of-american/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [I can't point to any major episodes of sexual discrimination in my early life. But I was so aware of the crime, the shame…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/i-can-t-point-to-any-major-episodes-of-sexual-discrimination-in-my/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The feminine mystique, elevated by Freudian theory into a scientific religion, sounded a single, overprotective, life-restricting, future-denying note for women. Girls who grew up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-elevated-by-freudian-theory-into-a-scientific/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) [Explore all 137 Betty Friedan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) ## More Blaming quotes > [“Stop Blaming Others For Your Own Actions”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-g-roldan/stop-blaming-others-for-your-own-actions/) [Alexis G. Roldan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-g-roldan/) > [Stop blaming ur heart if u broke it, for a change start with ur brain it didn't argue enough w/ ur heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/menchie-roxas-gelbolingo/stop-blaming-ur-heart-if-u-broke-it-for-a-change-start-with-ur-brain/) [Menchie Roxas Gelbolingo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/menchie-roxas-gelbolingo/) > [Stop blaming others, whatever happens to you is nobody's fault if you get hurt because of disappointment is not the end of your life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola/stop-blaming-others-whatever-happens-to-you-is-nobody-s-fault-if-you/) [Kemmy Nola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola/) > [Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-friday/blaming-mother-is-just-a-negative-way-of-clinging-to-her-still/) [Nancy Friday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-friday/) > [Blaming guns for murder is like blaming forks for obesity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/blaming-guns-for-murder-is-like-blaming-forks-for-obesity/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [Blaming is so much easier than taking responsibility, because if you take responsibility...then you might be the one to blame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/blaming-is-so-much-easier-than-taking-responsibility-because-if-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Sometimes in life, some strange things happen. Whether you like it or not. Then you found caught blaming yourself, why?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-maneja/sometimes-in-life-some-strange-things-happen-whether-you-like-it-or/) [Alex Maneja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-maneja/) > [Our culture peculiarly honors the act of blaming, which it takes as the sign of virtue and intellect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-trilling/our-culture-peculiarly-honors-the-act-of-blaming-which-it-takes-as/) [Lionel Trilling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-trilling/) > [Blaming Obama for Iraq violence is like blaming Daniel Craig because Octopussy sucked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-fugelsang/blaming-obama-for-iraq-violence-is-like-blaming-daniel-craig-because/) [John Fugelsang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-fugelsang/) > [If you listen to the political discourse in America today, you would think that all our problems have been caused by the Mexicans of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fareed-zakaria/if-you-listen-to-the-political-discourse-in-america-today-you-would/) [Fareed Zakaria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fareed-zakaria/) > [Blaming others is nothing more than excusing yourself..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-sharma/blaming-others-is-nothing-more-than-excusing-yourself/) [Robin Sharma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-sharma/) > [Anything outside yourself, this you can see and apply your logic to it. But it’s a human trait that when we encounter personal problems,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-herbert/anything-outside-yourself-this-you-can-see-and-apply-your-logic-to-it/) [Frank Herbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-herbert/) > [“it’s a human trait that when we encounter personal problems, those things most deeply personal are the most difficult to bring out for our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-herbert/it-s-a-human-trait-that-when-we-encounter-personal-problems-those/) [Frank Herbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-herbert/) > [You have to be humble when somebody is, not blaming you, but having to say something isn't right or correct.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/davinson-sanchez/you-have-to-be-humble-when-somebody-is-not-blaming-you-but-having-to/) [Davinson Sanchez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/davinson-sanchez/) > [“Stop blaming people for not making you to achieve your dreams. The question is "are they the people having those dreams?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/stop-blaming-people-for-not-making-you-to-achieve-your-dreams-the/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) Browse all 295 Blaming quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We have gone on too long blaming or pitying the mothers who devour their children, who sow the seeds of progressive dehumanization, because they have never grown to full humanity themselves. If the mother is at fault, why isn't it time to break the pattern by urging all these Sleeping Beauties to grow up and live their own lives? There never will be enough Prince Charmings or enough therapists to break that pattern now. It is society's job, and finally that of each woman alone. For it is not the strength of the mothers that is at fault but their weakness, their passive childlike dependency and immaturity that is mistaken for \"femininity.\" Our society forces boys, insofar as it can, to grow up, to endure the pains of growth, to educate themselves to work, to move on. 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