--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is not possible to preserve one's…" description: "\"“It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. It is v..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/betty-friedan-3185_feminism_it-is-not-possible-to-preserve-one-s-ide_465182.jpg" --- # It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting… ![“It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. It is very hard indeed for a human being to sustain such an 'inner' split - conforming outwardly to one reality, while trying to maintain inwardly the…” quote by Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/betty-friedan-3185_feminism_it-is-not-possible-to-preserve-one-s-ide_465182.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/betty-friedan-3185_feminism_it-is-not-possible-to-preserve-one-s-ide_465182.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/betty-friedan-3185_feminism_it-is-not-possible-to-preserve-one-s-ide_465182.jpg) > ““It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. It is very hard indeed for a human being to sustain such an 'inner' split - conforming outwardly to one reality, while trying to maintain inwardly the value it denies.”” [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Living in a society that forces you to deny your true self creates an internal conflict that is hard to sustain. **In simple terms:** Denying yourself harms identity. Key Takeaway Align external life with inner values. Themes identity conflict authenticity gender roles Mood reflective serious Type philosophical critical When to use this quote - workplace - family dynamics - personal relationships - social activism Key Concepts psychology social pressure self‑concept Questions to Reflect On - How do you reconcile external expectations with inner truth? - What costs arise from living a divided life? A Different Perspective Sustaining a split self can lead to burnout and mental strain. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Gender identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gender-identity/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Identity Adjusting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity-adjusting-4031365/) [Inwardly Value](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inwardly-value-4031367/) [Maintain Inwardly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/maintain-inwardly-4031366/) [Preserve Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/preserve-identity-3406045/) [Sustain Inner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sustain-inner-4031368/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Language is the expression of ideas, and if the people of one country cannot preserve an identity of ideas they cannot retain an identity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-webster/language-is-the-expression-of-ideas-and-if-the-people-of-one-country/) [Noah Webster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-webster/) > [A disease is never a mere loss or excess. There is always a reaction on the part of the organism or individual to restore,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-sacks/a-disease-is-never-a-mere-loss-or-excess-there-is-always-a-reaction/) [Oliver Sacks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-sacks/) > [When you break up & give up there is big question mark on your identity?Let your struggle becomes your identity.If you preserve your identity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dranil-kr-sinha/when-you-break-up-give-up-there-is-big-question-mark-on-your-identity/) [DrAnil Kr Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dranil-kr-sinha/) > [I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that only gender non-conforming, non-binary, or trans people have a gender identity. But the truth is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-think-one-of-the-biggest-misconceptions-is-that-only-gender-non/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [By December 2009, I had come to terms with my gender identity just as I was deployed to Iraq.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-manning/by-december-2009-i-had-come-to-terms-with-my-gender-identity-just-as/) [Chelsea Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-manning/) > [What does it mean to be an American today? The question of that is always pointing at now. It allows someone to say what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-davis/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-american-today-the-question-of-that-is/) [Will Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-davis/) > [A big part of gender identity is finding the clothes you feel comfortable and authentic in. I always gravitated to men's clothing, but as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-flip/a-big-part-of-gender-identity-is-finding-the-clothes-you-feel/) [G Flip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-flip/) > [“When we are a spiritual student, our gender identity is omni-gender and our relationship status is omni-relationship-status.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/when-we-are-a-spiritual-student-our-gender-identity-is-omni-gender/) [Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/) > [“Feminism is itself a challenge. Feminism is a challenge to the way things are in the world. It is by definition an oppositional movement,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-maddow/feminism-is-itself-a-challenge-feminism-is-a-challenge-to-the-way/) [Rachel Maddow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-maddow/) > [We are undermining a generation's happiness by depriving them of national identity, religious identity, and gender identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-prager/we-are-undermining-a-generation-s-happiness-by-depriving-them-of/) [Dennis Prager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-prager/) > [“If your organization is not formally committed to a policy of nondiscrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression or gender presentation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-d-acquaviva/if-your-organization-is-not-formally-committed-to-a-policy-of/) [Kimberly D. Acquaviva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-d-acquaviva/) > [I think we all are born inside of our parents' narratives. We stay there for a good while. We are taught their narratives about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-think-we-all-are-born-inside-of-our-parents-narratives-we-stay/) [Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/) > [Too often, when transgender people die, family members or funeral homes will end up dressing a body of a transgender person in the garments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-mcbride/too-often-when-transgender-people-die-family-members-or-funeral-homes/) [Sarah McBride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-mcbride/) > [Sexuality is who you want to be with. Gender identity is who you want to be in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hari-nef/sexuality-is-who-you-want-to-be-with-gender-identity-is-who-you-want/) [Hari Nef](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hari-nef/) > [If you find yourself in a relationship or even a friendship with someone who's conflicted with their gender identity, just be kind. This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-d-thompson/if-you-find-yourself-in-a-relationship-or-even-a-friendship-with/) [Linda D. Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-d-thompson/) ## More by Betty Friedan > [It is easier to live life through someone else than to become complete yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-is-easier-to-live-life-through-someone-else-than-to-become/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [This idea that the employment of women, the movement of women outside the home into the work world, and their demand for equality is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/this-idea-that-the-employment-of-women-the-movement-of-women-outside/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [A good woman is one who loves passionately, has guts, seriousness and passionate convictions, takes responsibility, and shapes society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/a-good-woman-is-one-who-loves-passionately-has-guts-seriousness-and/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [...women who 'adjust' as housewives, who grow up wanting to be 'just a housewife,' are in as much danger as the millions who walked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/women-who-adjust-as-housewives-who-grow-up-wanting-to-be-just-a/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [You can have it all, just not all at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/you-can-have-it-all-just-not-all-at-the-same-time/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/it-is-easier-to-live-through-someone-else-than-to-complete-yourself/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Protectiveness has often muffled the sound of doors closing against women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/protectiveness-has-often-muffled-the-sound-of-doors-closing-against/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The problem is always being the children’s mommy, or the minister’s wife and never being myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-problem-is-always-being-the-children-s-mommy-or-the-minister-s/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The problem lay buried, unspoken, for many years in the minds of American women. It was a strange stirring, a sense of dissatisfaction, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-problem-lay-buried-unspoken-for-many-years-in-the-minds-of/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The man who is extremely and dangerously hungry has no other interest but food. Capacities not useful for the satisfying of hunger are pushed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-man-who-is-extremely-and-dangerously-hungry-has-no-other-interest/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [Who knows what women can be when they are finally free to become themselves? Who knows what women's intelligence will contribute when it can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/who-knows-what-women-can-be-when-they-are-finally-free-to-become/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [If women’s role in life is limited solely to housewife/mother, it clearly ends when she can no longer bear more children and the children…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/if-women-s-role-in-life-is-limited-solely-to-housewife-mother-it/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-has-succeeded-in-burying-millions-of-american/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [I can't point to any major episodes of sexual discrimination in my early life. But I was so aware of the crime, the shame…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/i-can-t-point-to-any-major-episodes-of-sexual-discrimination-in-my/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) > [“The feminine mystique, elevated by Freudian theory into a scientific religion, sounded a single, overprotective, life-restricting, future-denying note for women. Girls who grew up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-friedan/the-feminine-mystique-elevated-by-freudian-theory-into-a-scientific/) [Betty Friedan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) [Explore all 137 Betty Friedan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-friedan/) ## More Feminism quotes > [“But benevolent patriarchy is still patriarchy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/but-benevolent-patriarchy-is-still-patriarchy/) [Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/) > [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/) [Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/) > [“This story is not at all an uncommon one in tech circles, including gaming. The popular notion is that women who get ahead must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bailey-poland/this-story-is-not-at-all-an-uncommon-one-in-tech-circles-including/) [Bailey Poland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bailey-poland/) > [Without meaning to sound anti-men, ghastly women are the closest you get to a male role.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-burke/without-meaning-to-sound-anti-men-ghastly-women-are-the-closest-you/) [Kathy Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-burke/) > [If the women in the factories stopped work for twenty minutes, the Allies would lose the war.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-joffre/if-the-women-in-the-factories-stopped-work-for-twenty-minutes-the/) [Joseph Joffre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-joffre/) > [“It took me years to learn to sit at my desk for more than two minutes at a time, to put up with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/it-took-me-years-to-learn-to-sit-at-my-desk-for-more-than-two-minutes/) [Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/) > [“If attempting to make the world a civilized one, makes you a bad woman in the eyes of the dumb patriarchal society, then, by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/if-attempting-to-make-the-world-a-civilized-one-makes-you-a-bad-woman/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [“there was something of the women molded into the great, stalwart frame of Hollingsworth; nor was he ashamed of it; as men often are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-hawthorne/there-was-something-of-the-women-molded-into-the-great-stalwart-frame/) [Nathaniel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-hawthorne/) > [Women rule the world. It's not really worth fighting because they know what they're doing. Ask Napoleon. Ask Adam. Ask Richard Burton or Richie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bon-jovi/women-rule-the-world-it-s-not-really-worth-fighting-because-they-know/) [Jon Bon Jovi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bon-jovi/) > [“Bármilyen idiótának, aki azt kérdezi: „Feminista vagy? Akkor elégeted a melltartóidat, mi? HE? Melltartókat égetsz, te feminista?” – szép nyugodtan így kell válaszolni: „Ostoba.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-moran/b-rmilyen-idi-t-nak-aki-azt-k-rdezi-feminista-vagy-akkor-el-geted-a/) [Caitlin Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-moran/) > [People are capable of great, great change during the span of one lifetime. And women even more than men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/people-are-capable-of-great-great-change-during-the-span-of-one/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Susan B. Anthony must be turning in her grave if she knew that millions of women who have the right to vote are not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-m-kunin/susan-b-anthony-must-be-turning-in-her-grave-if-she-knew-that/) [Madeleine M. Kunin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-m-kunin/) > [Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/success-will-come-when-the-societal-attitude-changes-and-not-a-single/) [Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/) > [Women know things that men will never know. We keep the best secrets. We tell the best stories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/women-know-things-that-men-will-never-know-we-keep-the-best-secrets/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [“Women will be at least 50 percent of the communications community workforce … from executive suite to interns. Why? The “integrated” agency will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yoram-wind/women-will-be-at-least-50-percent-of-the-communications-community/) [Yoram Wind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yoram-wind/) [Browse all 15,705 Feminism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. 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