--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by…" description: "\"Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that anger does not mean \"I don't love you\" or \"I want a divorce.\" It means, \"I am wounded and in n..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg" --- # Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that… ![“Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that anger does not mean "I don't love you" or "I want a divorce." It means, "I am wounded and in need of love, and I feel safe telling you about it because you are my family." Sometimes our behavior with each other is no different from the cry…” quote by Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg) > “Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that anger does not mean "I don't love you" or "I want a divorce." It means, "I am wounded and in need of love, and I feel safe telling you about it because you are my family." Sometimes our behavior with each other is no different from the cry of an unattended baby.” [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Anger signals vulnerability and a need for love, not rejection. **In simple terms:** Anger shows hurt and desire for care. Key Takeaway Respond with empathy, not judgment. Themes relationships emotion communication Mood reflective compassionate Type advice relationship When to use this quote - marriage counseling - family conflict - parenting - friendship Key Concepts attachment theory emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How can you recognize the love behind someone's anger? - What steps help you safely express vulnerability? A Different Perspective Anger can also stem from power struggles, not just hurt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Baby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/baby/) [Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) [Cry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cry/) [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [I don't love you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-don-t-love-you/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Wounded](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounded/) ## Related quotes > [He who doesn't know anger doesn't know anything. He doesn't know the immediate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-michaux/he-who-doesn-t-know-anger-doesn-t-know-anything-he-doesn-t-know-the/) [Henri Michaux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-michaux/) > [Anger is not a real feeling. Every time in my life I've ever been angry, it's because I was scared, or because I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damon-lindelof/anger-is-not-a-real-feeling-every-time-in-my-life-i-ve-ever-been/) [Damon Lindelof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damon-lindelof/) > [I know the anger lies inside of me like I know the beat of my heart and the taste of my spit. It is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audre-lorde/i-know-the-anger-lies-inside-of-me-like-i-know-the-beat-of-my-heart/) [Audre Lorde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audre-lorde/) > [I didn't know it was anger until they told me that it was, like with destruction and all that. But I believe everybody should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimi-hendrix/i-didn-t-know-it-was-anger-until-they-told-me-that-it-was-like-with/) [Jimi Hendrix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimi-hendrix/) > [“My first reaction, every time I delve into an episode of history that I don’t know very much about, is anger that my teachers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/my-first-reaction-every-time-i-delve-into-an-episode-of-history-that/) [Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/) > [“See, this is the way I see it. Not all anger is the same. Because there are different kids of anger. And you know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-alire-s-enz/see-this-is-the-way-i-see-it-not-all-anger-is-the-same-because-there/) [Benjamin Alire Sáenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-alire-s-enz/) > [“I’ve learned enough about human nature to know that behind anger or bitterness or hurt there’s always a wound, or fear, or frustration.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glenn-meade/i-ve-learned-enough-about-human-nature-to-know-that-behind-anger-or/) [Glenn Meade](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glenn-meade/) > [“But you know as well as I do that anger won’t solve anything.” “I beg to differ,” he shrugged. “Anger can be quite rewarding…at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-a-george/but-you-know-as-well-as-i-do-that-anger-won-t-solve-anything-i-beg-to/) [M.A. George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-a-george/) > [If you can keep as silent as a broken gong, then you have attained, when you know no anger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gautama-buddha/if-you-can-keep-as-silent-as-a-broken-gong-then-you-have-attained/) [Gautama Buddha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gautama-buddha/) > [“I now know how your anger came from skeletons that rattled in your heart and you couldn't escape them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susie-clevenger/i-now-know-how-your-anger-came-from-skeletons-that-rattled-in-your/) [Susie Clevenger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susie-clevenger/) > [Just because I don't fight back doesn't mean I'm weak. It means I am mature enough to know that anger wont solve anything...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suman-rai/just-because-i-don-t-fight-back-doesn-t-mean-i-m-weak-it-means-i-am/) [Suman Rai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suman-rai/) > [Judge: you want to divorce your husband for threatening you with a deadly weapon? Wife: no ur honor I am divorcing him for threatening…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azgraybebly-josland/judge-you-want-to-divorce-your-husband-for-threatening-you-with-a/) Azgraybebly Josland > [I didn't want a divorce but had to because of circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ferguson/i-didn-t-want-a-divorce-but-had-to-because-of-circumstance/) [Sarah Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ferguson/) > [Divorce is the hardest obstacle I've had to overcome in my life. I would like to believe that most people don't get married anticipating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/regina-king/divorce-is-the-hardest-obstacle-i-ve-had-to-overcome-in-my-life-i/) [Regina King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/regina-king/) > [“OLD JOKE Sadie and Moishe go to see a lawyer. “What can I do for you, folks?” Moishe: “We want a divorce.” “Well, this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-grunwald/old-joke-sadie-and-moishe-go-to-see-a-lawyer-what-can-i-do-for-you/) [Lisa Grunwald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-grunwald/) ## More by Bernie Siegel > [It is astounding how much the immune system is strengthened by reducing daily mental stress levels with either visualization or meditation. The other great…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/it-is-astounding-how-much-the-immune-system-is-strengthened-by/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [No matter what the statistics say there is always a way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/no-matter-what-the-statistics-say-there-is-always-a-way/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [Live by your experience and do not let limited beliefs alter your life experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/live-by-your-experience-and-do-not-let-limited-beliefs-alter-your/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [For me, consciousness is non-local, not limited to the body, and can exist independent of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/for-me-consciousness-is-non-local-not-limited-to-the-body-and-can/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [There is no such thing as an incurable disease, only incurable people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/there-is-no-such-thing-as-an-incurable-disease-only-incurable-people/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [The Secret Language of Your Body truly is the essential guide to restore your body to its healthiest state and assist you to heal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/the-secret-language-of-your-body-truly-is-the-essential-guide-to/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [I think some people do want to die, and they will get a disease. There are people who know their lives are so troubled,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/i-think-some-people-do-want-to-die-and-they-will-get-a-disease-there/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [Feel your feelings. What you bring forth will save you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/feel-your-feelings-what-you-bring-forth-will-save-you/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [I know patients who bring a dozen roses to the doctor's office. And, boy, the next visit, nobody forgets that. You come in and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/i-know-patients-who-bring-a-dozen-roses-to-the-doctor-s-office-and/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [I had patients who didn't die because they had too many pets to try to find homes for. It's why women live longer than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/i-had-patients-who-didn-t-die-because-they-had-too-many-pets-to-try/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [One of the best ways to change is to act as if you are the person you want to become. When you behave as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/one-of-the-best-ways-to-change-is-to-act-as-if-you-are-the-person-you/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [You can find examples of how little we value ourselves everywhere you look. The signs on the front of the convenience stores where Stephen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/you-can-find-examples-of-how-little-we-value-ourselves-everywhere-you/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [Thoughts are chemical. They can either kill us or cure us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/thoughts-are-chemical-they-can-either-kill-us-or-cure-us/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [I believe consciousness is non-local and a big part of what we experience with near death and past lives. It's the consciousness that has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/i-believe-consciousness-is-non-local-and-a-big-part-of-what-we/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) > [When my body gets to the point where I can no longer function or feel gratitude, then I'll leave it and become grateful again.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/when-my-body-gets-to-the-point-where-i-can-no-longer-function-or-feel/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) [Explore all 165 Bernie Siegel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that anger does not mean \"I don't love you\" or \"I want a divorce.\" It means, \"I am wounded and in need of love, and I feel safe telling you about it because you are my family.\" Sometimes our behavior with each other is no different from the cry of an unattended baby.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bernie Siegel" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by-now-we-know-that-anger-does/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Anger" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by-now-we-know-that-anger-does/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/bernie-siegel-2465_anger_bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by_2090458.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that anger does not mean \"I don't love you\" or \"I want a…” — Bernie Siegel", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Bernie Siegel", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Bobby and I were married in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by-now-we-know-that-anger-does/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/bobby-and-i-were-married-in-1954-and-by-now-we-know-that-anger-does/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```