--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is hard for me to imagine that I felt…" description: "\"It is hard for me to imagine that I felt good about behaving like that. I also remember that the smallest gesture of affection would bring a lump to my..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d14/bernhard-schlink-3329_affection_it-is-hard-for-me-to-imagine-that-i-felt_963396.png" --- # It is hard for me to imagine that I felt good about… ![“It is hard for me to imagine that I felt good about behaving like that. I also remember that the smallest gesture of affection would bring a lump to my throat, whether it was directed at me or at someone else. Sometimes all it took was a scene in a movie. This juxtaposition of callousness and…” quote by Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d14/bernhard-schlink-3329_affection_it-is-hard-for-me-to-imagine-that-i-felt_963396.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d14/bernhard-schlink-3329_affection_it-is-hard-for-me-to-imagine-that-i-felt_963396.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d14/bernhard-schlink-3329_affection_it-is-hard-for-me-to-imagine-that-i-felt_963396.png) > “It is hard for me to imagine that I felt good about behaving like that. I also remember that the smallest gesture of affection would bring a lump to my throat, whether it was directed at me or at someone else. Sometimes all it took was a scene in a movie. This juxtaposition of callousness and extreme sensitivity seemed suspicious even to me.” [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator struggles to reconcile feeling good about a past action, recalling how even a small affectionate gesture could be overwhelming, sometimes triggered by a movie scene, revealing a mix of callousness and deep sensitivity. **In simple terms:** I’m conflicted about past behavior; small kindness felt intense. Key Takeaway Acknowledge mixed emotions and seek self‑compassion. Themes guilt empathy memory Mood introspective melancholic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - counseling - self‑reflection - movie analysis - relationship discussions Key Concepts psychology film influence Questions to Reflect On - What triggers your emotional responses? - How do media moments shape personal feelings? A Different Perspective The quote is introspective and may not generalize. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Affection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affection/) [Behaving Like](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behaving-like-723912/) [Callousness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/callousness/) [Callousness Extreme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/callousness-extreme-1797476/) [Empathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy/) [Extremes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/extremes/) [Felt Good](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/felt-good/) [Gesture Affection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gesture-affection-1797475/) [Gestures](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gestures/) [Imagine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagine/) [Imagine that](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagine-that/) [Juxtaposition](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/juxtaposition/) [Juxtaposition Callousness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/juxtaposition-callousness-1797474/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Remember](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember/) [Scene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/scene/) [Sensitivity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sensitivity/) [Smallest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/smallest/) [Sometimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sometimes/) [Throat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/throat/) ## Related quotes > [“Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/physical-touch-is-one-of-my-primary-love-languages-for-those-of-us/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [“So many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-finnamore/so-many-events-and-moments-that-seemed-insignificant-add-up-i/) [Suzanne Finnamore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-finnamore/) > [“Touch can have two meanings: it can be an intimate gesture between equals, a way of saying: I care for you. But between people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-east/touch-can-have-two-meanings-it-can-be-an-intimate-gesture-between/) [Rebecca East](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-east/) > [“This is for those times when I want to take his hand, or he wants to take mine, but we don’t feel safe enough.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-kennedy/this-is-for-those-times-when-i-want-to-take-his-hand-or-he-wants-to/) [Sean Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-kennedy/) > [Behaving like a princess is work. It's not just about looking beautiful or wearing a crown. It's more about how you are inside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-andrews/behaving-like-a-princess-is-work-it-s-not-just-about-looking/) [Julie Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-andrews/) > [“Sometimes it frightens me how much I enjoy behaving like a complete cow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarra-manning/sometimes-it-frightens-me-how-much-i-enjoy-behaving-like-a-complete/) [Sarra Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarra-manning/) > [“Why are you behaving like this? You know how much I love you … and I believe you love me as much, so why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santonu-kumar-dhar/why-are-you-behaving-like-this-you-know-how-much-i-love-you-and-i/) [santonu Kumar Dhar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santonu-kumar-dhar/) > [One of the things I think the police have to do is to stop behaving like armies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-gladwell/one-of-the-things-i-think-the-police-have-to-do-is-to-stop-behaving/) [Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-gladwell/) > [I was not so sure, but Jem told me I was being a girl, that girls always imagined things, that’s why other people hated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harper-lee/i-was-not-so-sure-but-jem-told-me-i-was-being-a-girl-that-girls/) [Harper Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harper-lee/) > [Life is all about ass. You're either covering it, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it or behaving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-all-about-ass-you-re-either-covering-it-kicking-it-kissing-it/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life is all about ass; you're either covering it,laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-all-about-ass-you-re-either-covering-it-laughing-it-off/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When animals do something noble we say they are behaving ‘like humans’. When humans do something disgusting we say they are behaving ‘like animals’.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-wollen/when-animals-do-something-noble-we-say-they-are-behaving-like-humans/) [Philip Wollen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-wollen/) > [Behaving like a princess is work. It's not looking beautiful or wearing a crown. It's more about how you are inside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-andrews/behaving-like-a-princess-is-work-it-s-not-looking-beautiful-or/) [Julie Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-andrews/) > [For a long time, I really blithely walked around in the world imagining that gender didn't matter any more and behaving like I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-bishe/for-a-long-time-i-really-blithely-walked-around-in-the-world/) [Kerry Bishe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-bishe/) > [So long as God reveals Himself, or doesn't, He is behaving like God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/so-long-as-god-reveals-himself-or-doesn-t-he-is-behaving-like-god/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) ## More by Bernhard Schlink > [“Ne ispada li, onda, da je egzistencijalni umor rezultat premalog, a ne prevelikog angažovanja? Postajemo li umorni usled toga što olakšavamo sebi situaciju, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/ne-ispada-li-onda-da-je-egzistencijalni-umor-rezultat-premalog-a-ne/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [Why? Why does what was beautiful suddenly shatter in hindsight because it concealed dark truths? Why does the memory of years of happy marriage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/why-why-does-what-was-beautiful-suddenly-shatter-in-hindsight-because/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“...if something hurts me, the hurts I suffered back then come back to me, and when I feel guilty, the feelings of guilt return;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/if-something-hurts-me-the-hurts-i-suffered-back-then-come-back-to-me/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“The truth of what one says lies in what one does.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/the-truth-of-what-one-says-lies-in-what-one-does/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“When she had fallen asleep on me, and the saw in the yard was quiet, and a blackbird was singing as the colors of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/when-she-had-fallen-asleep-on-me-and-the-saw-in-the-yard-was-quiet/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“To anyone ignorant of history, it would be easy to see ways of life in earlier times simply as ways of life in foreign…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/to-anyone-ignorant-of-history-it-would-be-easy-to-see-ways-of-life-in/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“What is it?' 'Nothing,' he said, and put his arm around her. 'You sighed.' 'I'd like to be further along than I am.' She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/what-is-it-nothing-he-said-and-put-his-arm-around-her-you-sighed-i-d/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“But the finger I pointed at her turned back to me. I had loved her. Not only had I loved her, I had chosen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/but-the-finger-i-pointed-at-her-turned-back-to-me-i-had-loved-her-not/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“I wanted to pose myself both tasks - understanding and condemnation. But it was impossible to do both”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/i-wanted-to-pose-myself-both-tasks-understanding-and-condemnation-but/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [Sometimes the memory of happiness cannot stay true because it ended unhappily..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/sometimes-the-memory-of-happiness-cannot-stay-true-because-it-ended/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“I had no one to point at. Certainly not my parents, because I had nothing to accuse them of. The zeal for letting in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/i-had-no-one-to-point-at-certainly-not-my-parents-because-i-had/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [Sometimes I had the feeling that all of us in his family were like pets to him. The dog you take for a walk,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/sometimes-i-had-the-feeling-that-all-of-us-in-his-family-were-like/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“There are matters one simply cannot get drawn into, that one must distance oneself from, if the price is not life and limb. هناك أمور لا يمكن للواحد ببساطة أن ينخرط فيها ، يجب على الواحد ان ينحي نفسه عنها ، حتى وإن كان الثمن موته أو بتره.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/there-are-matters-one-simply-cannot-get-drawn-into-that-one-must/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [She was struggling, as she always had struggled, not to show what she could do but to hide what she couldn't do. A life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/she-was-struggling-as-she-always-had-struggled-not-to-show-what-she/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [As an author, you hope for a director and a cast that will make something wonderful out of your book.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/as-an-author-you-hope-for-a-director-and-a-cast-that-will-make/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) [Explore all 104 Bernhard Schlink quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) ## More Affection quotes > [My team and I have reunited two elements that coexist with diffiulty: respect and affection, because when they love you they don't respect you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shakira/my-team-and-i-have-reunited-two-elements-that-coexist-with-diffiulty/) [Shakira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shakira/) > [Needs cause motivation. Deep-rooted desires for esteem, affection, belonging, achievement, self-actualization, power, and control motivate us to push for what we want and need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorii-myers/needs-cause-motivation-deep-rooted-desires-for-esteem-affection/) [Lorii Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorii-myers/) > [“It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kahlil-gibran/it-is-to-build-a-house-with-affection-even-as-if-your-beloved-were-to/) [Kahlil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kahlil-gibran/) > [In this choice of inheritance we have given to our frame of polity the image of a relation in blood; binding up the constitution…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-burke/in-this-choice-of-inheritance-we-have-given-to-our-frame-of-polity/) [Edmund Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-burke/) > [I, measuring his affections by my own, Which then most sought where most might not be found, Being one too many by my weary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/i-measuring-his-affections-by-my-own-which-then-most-sought-where/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [A lost love. Deny it who will, ridicule it, treat it as mere imagination and sentiment, the thing is and will be; and women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/a-lost-love-deny-it-who-will-ridicule-it-treat-it-as-mere-imagination/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [Affection! Affection is false.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-i/affection-affection-is-false/) [Elizabeth I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-i/) > [We are a spectacular, splendid manifestation of life. We have language. . . . We have affection. We have genes for usefulness, and usefulness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-thomas/we-are-a-spectacular-splendid-manifestation-of-life-we-have-language/) [Lewis Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-thomas/) > [Listen, I have a great affection and respect for Joe Biden. I think he's been a great vice president. He's taken on a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-axelrod/listen-i-have-a-great-affection-and-respect-for-joe-biden-i-think-he/) [David Axelrod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-axelrod/) > [The still affection of the heart Became an outward breathing type, That into stillness past again, And left a want unknown before; Although the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-lord-tennyson/the-still-affection-of-the-heart-became-an-outward-breathing-type/) [Alfred Lord Tennyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-lord-tennyson/) > [I am persuaded that there is no affection of the human heart more exquisitely pure, than that which is felt by a grateful son…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hannah-more/i-am-persuaded-that-there-is-no-affection-of-the-human-heart-more/) [Hannah More](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hannah-more/) > [If you live in a material universe where acquiring things is very important to you, then family is an absolute deterrent to maintaining that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-taylor-gatto/if-you-live-in-a-material-universe-where-acquiring-things-is-very/) [John Taylor Gatto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-taylor-gatto/) > [Our sweetest experiences of affection are meant to be suggestions of that realm which is the home of the heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/our-sweetest-experiences-of-affection-are-meant-to-be-suggestions-of/) [Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/) > [“Georgia O’Keeffe moved to rural New Mexico, from which she would sign her letters to the people she loved, “from the faraway nearby.” It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/georgia-o-keeffe-moved-to-rural-new-mexico-from-which-she-would-sign/) [Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/) [Browse all 2,465 Affection quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affection/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is hard for me to imagine that I felt good about behaving like that. 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