--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I had no one to point at. Certainly not…" description: "\"“I had no one to point at. Certainly not my parents, because I had nothing to accuse them of. The zeal for letting in the daylight, with which , as a m..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/bernhard-schlink-3329_children-love_i-had-no-one-to-point-at-certainly-not-m_222600.jpg" --- # I had no one to point at. Certainly not my parents… ![“I had no one to point at. Certainly not my parents, because I had nothing to accuse them of. The zeal for letting in the daylight, with which , as a member of the concentration camps seminar, I had condemned my father to shame, had passed, and it embarrassed me. But what other people in my social…” quote by Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/bernhard-schlink-3329_children-love_i-had-no-one-to-point-at-certainly-not-m_222600.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/bernhard-schlink-3329_children-love_i-had-no-one-to-point-at-certainly-not-m_222600.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/bernhard-schlink-3329_children-love_i-had-no-one-to-point-at-certainly-not-m_222600.jpg) > ““I had no one to point at. Certainly not my parents, because I had nothing to accuse them of. The zeal for letting in the daylight, with which , as a member of the concentration camps seminar, I had condemned my father to shame, had passed, and it embarrassed me. But what other people in my social environment had done, and their guilt, were in any case a lot less bad than what Hanna had done. I had to point at Hanna. But the finger I had pointed at her turned back to me. I had loved her. Not only had I loved her, I had chosen her. I tried to tell myself that I had known nothing of what she had done when I chose her. I tried to talk myself into the state of innocence in which children love their parents. But love of our parents is the only for which we are not responsible. And perhaps we are responsible even for the love we feel for our parents. I envied other students back then who had dissociated themselves from their parents and thus from the entire generation of perpetrators, voyeurs, and the willfully blind, accommodators and accepters, thereby overcoming perhaps not their shame, but at least their suffering because of the shame. But what gave rise to the swaggering self-righteousness I so often encountered among these students? How could one feel guilt and sahme and at teh same time parade one's self-righteousness? Was their dissociation of themselves from their parents ere rhetoric: sounds and noise that were supposed to drown out the fact that their love for their parents made them irrevocably complicit in their crimes? These thoughts did not come until later, and even later they brought no comfort. How could it be a comfort that the pain I went through because of my love for Hanna, was, in a way, the fate of my generation, a German fate, and that it was only more difficult for me to evade, more difficult for me to manage than for others. All the same, it would have been good for me back then to be able to feel I was part of my generation. ”” [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator wrestles with guilt over loving a mother who was complicit in atrocities, confronting familial love, responsibility, and collective shame. **In simple terms:** Loving a parent can make one feel complicit in their crimes, creating deep guilt. Key Takeaway Acknowledge love, confront responsibility. Themes guilt family complicity memory shame Mood reflective somber Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - family discussions - therapy - education on historical trauma - personal reflection Key Concepts ethical philosophy psychology history Questions to Reflect On - Can love for a parent be ethically reconciled with their crimes? - How does collective memory shape personal guilt? A Different Perspective Denial can mask deeper responsibility; love does not absolve guilt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Concentration camp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/concentration-camp/) [Concentration Camps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/concentration-camps/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Social environment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-environment/) ## Related quotes > [“But love of our parents is the only love for which we are not responsible. 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The dog you take for a walk,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/sometimes-i-had-the-feeling-that-all-of-us-in-his-family-were-like/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“There are matters one simply cannot get drawn into, that one must distance oneself from, if the price is not life and limb. هناك أمور لا يمكن للواحد ببساطة أن ينخرط فيها ، يجب على الواحد ان ينحي نفسه عنها ، حتى وإن كان الثمن موته أو بتره.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/there-are-matters-one-simply-cannot-get-drawn-into-that-one-must/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [She was struggling, as she always had struggled, not to show what she could do but to hide what she couldn't do. A life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/she-was-struggling-as-she-always-had-struggled-not-to-show-what-she/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [As an author, you hope for a director and a cast that will make something wonderful out of your book.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/as-an-author-you-hope-for-a-director-and-a-cast-that-will-make/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) > [“I've written things about that, about how life's really big decisions aren't right or wrong, it's just that one lives different lives. 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But what other people in my social environment had done, and their guilt, were in any case a lot less bad than what Hanna had done. I had to point at Hanna. But the finger I had pointed at her turned back to me. I had loved her. Not only had I loved her, I had chosen her. I tried to tell myself that I had known nothing of what she had done when I chose her. I tried to talk myself into the state of innocence in which children love their parents. But love of our parents is the only for which we are not responsible. And perhaps we are responsible even for the love we feel for our parents. I envied other students back then who had dissociated themselves from their parents and thus from the entire generation of perpetrators, voyeurs, and the willfully blind, accommodators and accepters, thereby overcoming perhaps not their shame, but at least their suffering because of the shame. But what gave rise to the swaggering self-righteousness I so often encountered among these students? How could one feel guilt and sahme and at teh same time parade one's self-righteousness? Was their dissociation of themselves from their parents ere rhetoric: sounds and noise that were supposed to drown out the fact that their love for their parents made them irrevocably complicit in their crimes? These thoughts did not come until later, and even later they brought no comfort. How could it be a comfort that the pain I went through because of my love for Hanna, was, in a way, the fate of my generation, a German fate, and that it was only more difficult for me to evade, more difficult for me to manage than for others. 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