---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: ...it was clear to everyone at the table…"
description: "\"“...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any experience with men and alcohol—especially men who had won international literary prizes—that he ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg"
---

#  ...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any…

![“...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any experience with men and alcohol—especially men who had won international literary prizes—that he was not going to stop talking at any point in the meal.” quote by Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg)

> ““...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any experience with men and alcohol—especially men who had won international literary prizes—that he was not going to stop talking at any point in the meal.””

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

He observes that a prize‑winning writer, despite his accolades, dominates conversation at the dinner table, indicating how fame can eclipse social balance.

**In simple terms:** Famous people can monopolize talk.

Key Takeaway

Be mindful of sharing space in dialogue.

Themes

humility conversation fame

Mood

irritated observational

Type

critical observational

When to use this quote

- dinner parties
- academic conferences
- networking events

Key Concepts

social dynamics ego literary culture

Questions to Reflect On

- How does status affect listening?
- What cues show a conversation is imbalanced?

A Different Perspective

May silence be valued as much as speech.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/)

## Related quotes

> [Literary prizes serve a purpose if they allow for discussion of books.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-flanagan/literary-prizes-serve-a-purpose-if-they-allow-for-discussion-of-books/)

[Richard Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-flanagan/)

> [I'm not sure that the culture of literary prizes is always a good thing, but while there are literary prizes, it's nice to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-rooney/i-m-not-sure-that-the-culture-of-literary-prizes-is-always-a-good/)

[Sally Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-rooney/)

> [I'm going to get controversial here and say that monogamy isn't natural, especially not for men. It's a concept society birthed a few hundred…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jameela-jamil/i-m-going-to-get-controversial-here-and-say-that-monogamy-isn-t/)

[Jameela Jamil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jameela-jamil/)

> [The book trade invented literary prizes to stimulate sales, not to reward merit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moorcock/the-book-trade-invented-literary-prizes-to-stimulate-sales-not-to/)

[Michael Moorcock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moorcock/)

> [Watching Italians eat (especially men, I have to say) is a form of tourism the books don't tell you about. They close their eyes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/watching-italians-eat-especially-men-i-have-to-say-is-a-form-of/)

[Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/)

> [I am, of course, greatly honoured to win the Booker, which is one of the great literary prizes in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-flanagan/i-am-of-course-greatly-honoured-to-win-the-booker-which-is-one-of-the/)

[Richard Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-flanagan/)

> [“Though I have been busy, perhaps overbusy, all my life, it seems to me now that I have accomplished little that matters, that the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-stegner/though-i-have-been-busy-perhaps-overbusy-all-my-life-it-seems-to-me/)

[Wallace Stegner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-stegner/)

> [People, especially men, don't always know what they want. You try, and if it doesn't work, then you may quit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-especially-men-don-t-always-know-what-they-want-you-try-and-if-2/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I'm afraid your literary prizes don't give you any jurisdiction in this particular instance, sir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lizzie-k-foley/i-m-afraid-your-literary-prizes-don-t-give-you-any-jurisdiction-in/)

[Lizzie K. Foley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lizzie-k-foley/)

> [For a long time, I lost faith in humanity, especially men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/park-yeon-mi/for-a-long-time-i-lost-faith-in-humanity-especially-men/)

[Park Yeon-mi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/park-yeon-mi/)

> [Many people, especially men, feel it is an admission of weakness to ask for help or to express a need. But there is absolutely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/many-people-especially-men-feel-it-is-an-admission-of-weakness-to-ask/)

[Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/)

> [From my vertical, people, especially men, don't realize what clothes can do for their self-esteem, the way they see themselves, their confidence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tan-france/from-my-vertical-people-especially-men-don-t-realize-what-clothes-can/)

[Tan France](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tan-france/)

> [Generally, literary prizes are significant not for who the winner is but the discussion they create around books.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-flanagan/generally-literary-prizes-are-significant-not-for-who-the-winner-is/)

[Richard Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-flanagan/)

> [At 50 you're more confident, more comfortable in your skin and you don't put up with nonsense, especially from men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-donohoe/at-50-you-re-more-confident-more-comfortable-in-your-skin-and-you-don/)

[Amanda Donohoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-donohoe/)

> [I don't feel like a lot of the men, especially men in power, stand up in their position and hold on to the women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trina/i-don-t-feel-like-a-lot-of-the-men-especially-men-in-power-stand-up/)

[Trina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trina/)

## More by Ben Lerner

> [I don't think it's always a sign of respect for persons (inside or outside of fiction) to pretend to be able to represent, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/i-don-t-think-it-s-always-a-sign-of-respect-for-persons-inside-or/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [Shaving is a way to start the workday by ritually not cutting your throat when you've the chance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/shaving-is-a-way-to-start-the-workday-by-ritually-not-cutting-your/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [I don't want to write poems that are just really clear about how I'm aware of all the traps involved in writing poetry; I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/i-don-t-want-to-write-poems-that-are-just-really-clear-about-how-i-m/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“What you need to do is harness the self-love you are hypostasizing as offspring, as the next generation of you, and let it branch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/what-you-need-to-do-is-harness-the-self-love-you-are-hypostasizing-as/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“And because his narrator was characterized above all by his anxiety regarding the disconnect between his internal experience and his social self-presentation,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/and-because-his-narrator-was-characterized-above-all-by-his-anxiety/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“And I want to say something to the schoolchildren of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle's takeoff. I know it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/and-i-want-to-say-something-to-the-schoolchildren-of-america-who-were/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“Part of what makes the book bizzare is that Whitman, because he wants to stand for everyone, because he wants to be less a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/part-of-what-makes-the-book-bizzare-is-that-whitman-because-he-wants/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [I didn't want to write another book about fraudulence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/i-didn-t-want-to-write-another-book-about-fraudulence/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [The problem is that if you're self-conscious about being a person on whom nothing is lost, isn't something lost - some kind of presence?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/the-problem-is-that-if-you-re-self-conscious-about-being-a-person-on/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [Most of us start from that position of irony now and what I wanted to do - really felt like I had to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/most-of-us-start-from-that-position-of-irony-now-and-what-i-wanted-to/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [Laser technology has fulfilled our people's ancient dream of a blade so fine that the person it cuts remains standing and alive until he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/laser-technology-has-fulfilled-our-people-s-ancient-dream-of-a-blade/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“Our contempt for any particular poem must be perfect, be total, because only a ruthless reading that allows us to measure the gap between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/our-contempt-for-any-particular-poem-must-be-perfect-be-total-because/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [If I was a poet, I had become one because poetry, more intensely than any other practice, could not evade its anachronism and marginality…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/if-i-was-a-poet-i-had-become-one-because-poetry-more-intensely-than/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [Your interviews or blog posts or whatever are less supplements to your novel than part of it. I'm not private, but I believe in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/your-interviews-or-blog-posts-or-whatever-are-less-supplements-to/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

> [“I’m going to kill the president. I promise. I surrender. I'm sorry. I'm gay. I'm pregnant. I'm dying. I'm not your father. You're fired.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/i-m-going-to-kill-the-president-i-promise-i-surrender-i-m-sorry-i-m/)

[Ben Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

[Explore all 73 Ben Lerner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/)

## More Men quotes

> [When I passed the Chancellor he arose, waved his hand at me, and I waved back at him. I think the writers showed bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-owens/when-i-passed-the-chancellor-he-arose-waved-his-hand-at-me-and-i/)

[Jesse Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-owens/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [The man who can master his time can master nearly anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/the-man-who-can-master-his-time-can-master-nearly-anything/)

[Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/)

> [We do not want nowadays temples of worship and outward rites and ceremonies. What we really want is an Asram. We want a place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rabindranath-tagore/we-do-not-want-nowadays-temples-of-worship-and-outward-rites-and/)

[Rabindranath Tagore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rabindranath-tagore/)

> [Before Noah, men having only water to drink, could not find the truth. Accordingly...they became abominably wicked, and they were justly exterminated by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-franklin/before-noah-men-having-only-water-to-drink-could-not-find-the-truth/)

[Benjamin Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-franklin/)

> [Social responsibility above the level of family, or at most of tribe, requires imagination-- devotion, loyalty, all the higher virtues -- which a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/social-responsibility-above-the-level-of-family-or-at-most-of-tribe/)

[Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/)

> [Most celebrated men live in a condition of prostitution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-augustin-sainte-beuve/most-celebrated-men-live-in-a-condition-of-prostitution/)

[Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-augustin-sainte-beuve/)

> [I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture. MARTIN LUTHER, letter to Chancellor Gregory Brück, January 13,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/i-cannot-forbid-a-person-to-marry-several-wives-for-it-does-not/)

[Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/)

> [Hats off to starting a franchise younger than we all did in 'Twilight' and keeping your cool. The 'Harry Potter' men and women had,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kellan-lutz/hats-off-to-starting-a-franchise-younger-than-we-all-did-in-twilight/)

[Kellan Lutz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kellan-lutz/)

> [Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! People who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-lang/young-men-especially-in-america-write-to-me-and-ask-me-to-recommend-a/)

[Andrew Lang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-lang/)

> [The prophet who fails to present a bearable alternative and yet preaches doom is part of the trap that he postulates. Not only does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-mead/the-prophet-who-fails-to-present-a-bearable-alternative-and-yet/)

[Margaret Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-mead/)

> [ That country \[Carthage\] was rapidly sinking into the state of barbarism from whence it had been raised by the Phoenician colonies and Roman laws;… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-gibbon/that-country-carthage-was-rapidly-sinking-into-the-state-of-barbarism/)

[Edward Gibbon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-gibbon/)

> [Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernbach/nothing-is-so-powerful-as-an-insight-into-human-nature-what/)

[William Bernbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernbach/)

> [But we are convinced that if we are to play a meaningful role nationally, and in the community of nations, we must be second…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-sarabhai/but-we-are-convinced-that-if-we-are-to-play-a-meaningful-role/)

[Vikram Sarabhai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-sarabhai/)

> [“Every select man strives instinctively for a citadel and a privacy, where he is FREE from the crowd, the many, the majority-- where he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/every-select-man-strives-instinctively-for-a-citadel-and-a-privacy/)

[Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/)

[Browse all 84,229 Men quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any experience with men and alcohol—especially men who had won international literary prizes—that he was not going to stop talking at any point in the meal.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Ben Lerner"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-who-had-any-experience-with-men/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Men"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-who-had-any-experience-with-men/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/ben-lerner-9267_men_it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-wh_1749305.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“...it was clear to everyone at the table who had any experience with men and alcohol—especially men who had…” — Ben Lerner",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Ben Lerner",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lerner/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“...it was clear to everyone at...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-who-had-any-experience-with-men/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lerner/it-was-clear-to-everyone-at-the-table-who-had-any-experience-with-men/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
