--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When we spoil something, we deny it the…" description: "\"“When we spoil something, we deny it the conditions it requires. . . . The real spoiling of children is not in the indulging of demands or the giving o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/barbara-nicholson-86397_child_when-we-spoil-something-we-deny-it-the-c_2768356.jpg" --- # When we spoil something, we deny it the conditions it… ![“When we spoil something, we deny it the conditions it requires. . . . The real spoiling of children is not in the indulging of demands or the giving of gifts, but in the ignoring of their genuine needs. —Gordon Neufeld, PhD, and Gabor Maté, MD, Hold On to Your Kids” quote by Barbara Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/barbara-nicholson-86397_child_when-we-spoil-something-we-deny-it-the-c_2768356.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/barbara-nicholson-86397_child_when-we-spoil-something-we-deny-it-the-c_2768356.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/barbara-nicholson-86397_child_when-we-spoil-something-we-deny-it-the-c_2768356.jpg) > ““When we spoil something, we deny it the conditions it requires. . . . The real spoiling of children is not in the indulging of demands or the giving of gifts, but in the ignoring of their genuine needs. —Gordon Neufeld, PhD, and Gabor Maté, MD, Hold On to Your Kids”” [Barbara Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-nicholson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True care means meeting genuine needs, not just giving material gifts or indulging demands. **In simple terms:** Children need real needs met, not just treats. Key Takeaway Prioritize authentic needs over superficial appeasement. Themes parenting needs authenticity Mood empathetic concerned Type advice psychological When to use this quote - family life - education - childcare - policy making Key Concepts psychology developmental theory Questions to Reflect On - What genuine need is being overlooked? - How can you balance wants and needs? A Different Perspective Focusing only on gifts can ignore deeper issues. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Hold Kids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hold-kids-1155517/) [Spoil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoil/) [Spoil Deny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoil-deny-3223599/) [Spoiling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoiling-330762/) [Spoiling Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoiling-children-988236/) ## Related quotes > [Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. 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I'm just saying I hope it involves sleeping-in and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyson-hannigan/my-husband-s-so-good-at-spoiling-me-he-ll-have-some-special-tricks-up/) [Alyson Hannigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyson-hannigan/) > [Spoiling yourself is what you call being selfish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/spoiling-yourself-is-what-you-call-being-selfish/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Annabelle gave him a chiding smile. “If you’re implying that I’m spoiled, I assure you that I am not.” “You should be.” His warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/annabelle-gave-him-a-chiding-smile-if-you-re-implying-that-i-m/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [In Britain, the press want to kill a show by revealing what's coming up and spoiling the pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-bonneville/in-britain-the-press-want-to-kill-a-show-by-revealing-what-s-coming/) [Hugh Bonneville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-bonneville/) ## More by Barbara Nicholson > [“With all the safety mechanisms in place to make cribs safer, still more infants die alone in cribs than in the family bed; yet,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-nicholson/with-all-the-safety-mechanisms-in-place-to-make-cribs-safer-still/) [Barbara Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-nicholson/) > [“Adults teach children in three important ways: The first is by example, the second is by example, the third is by example.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-nicholson/adults-teach-children-in-three-important-ways-the-first-is-by-example/) [Barbara Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-nicholson/) [Explore all 3 Barbara Nicholson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-nicholson/) ## More Child quotes > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. 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