--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Your own family resemblances are a…" description: "\"“Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most easily read by those who know you least.”\" — Barbara Kingsolver" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png" --- # Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most… ![“Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most easily read by those who know you least.” quote by Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png) > ““Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most easily read by those who know you least.”” [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often misinterpret others, especially when they are most familiar, while strangers see clearer patterns. **In simple terms:** Family traits are hard to read, outsiders see them easier. Key Takeaway Seek honest feedback from diverse perspectives. Themes family perception communication misunderstanding Mood introspective thoughtful Type analytical inspirational When to use this quote - family gatherings - team meetings - therapy sessions - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology social dynamics bias Questions to Reflect On - Who can you trust to give you honest insight? - How might you ask a stranger for feedback? A Different Perspective Close relationships can blind us to truths. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Appearance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/appearance/) [Code](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/code/) [Code Easily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/code-easily-4482788/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Family Resemblances](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-resemblances-4452477/) [Frustrating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frustrating/) [Frustrating Code](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frustrating-code-4482787/) [Knows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/) [Programming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/programming/) [Resemblance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resemblance/) [Resemblances](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resemblances-1024061/) [Resemblances Frustrating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resemblances-frustrating-4482786/) ## Related quotes > [Dreams are like portraits; and we find they please because they are confessed resemblances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-crabbe/dreams-are-like-portraits-and-we-find-they-please-because-they-are/) [George Crabbe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-crabbe/) > [Resemblances are the shadows of differences. Different people see different similarities and similar differences.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-nabokov/resemblances-are-the-shadows-of-differences-different-people-see/) [Vladimir Nabokov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-nabokov/) > [When she is older she will see in these resemblances a regrettable uniformity among individuals (they all stop at the same spots to kiss,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/when-she-is-older-she-will-see-in-these-resemblances-a-regrettable/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [The lover never sees personal resemblances in his mistress to her kindred or to others. His friends find in her a likeness to hermother,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/the-lover-never-sees-personal-resemblances-in-his-mistress-to-her/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [“But when Tel Hasani wasn't looking, he cast a worried eye over the snake, just incase there were any family resemblances.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darren-shan/but-when-tel-hasani-wasn-t-looking-he-cast-a-worried-eye-over-the/) [Darren Shan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darren-shan/) > [HAVE ANYONE EVER NOTICE THIS BLUE IVY AND DRAKE RESEMBLANCES ?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asheya/have-anyone-ever-notice-this-blue-ivy-and-drake-resemblances/) [Asheya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asheya/) > [“I find myself nursing keen regret at probably not being able to live long enough to explain properly to you what I do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/comte-de-lautr-amont/i-find-myself-nursing-keen-regret-at-probably-not-being-able-to-live/) [Comte de Lautréamont](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/comte-de-lautr-amont/) > [“Man's gift of seeing resemblances is nothing other than a rudiment of the powerful compulsion in former times to become and behave like something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-benjamin/man-s-gift-of-seeing-resemblances-is-nothing-other-than-a-rudiment-of/) [Walter Benjamin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-benjamin/) > [“Not that I would reject those resemblances of the human figure which are engraven in brass or marbles but as their originals are frail…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tacitus/not-that-i-would-reject-those-resemblances-of-the-human-figure-which/) [Tacitus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tacitus/) > [“In every important way we are such secrets from one another, and I do believe that there is a separate language in each of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilynne-robinson/in-every-important-way-we-are-such-secrets-from-one-another-and-i-do/) [Marilynne Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilynne-robinson/) > [Knowledge comes from noticing resemblances and recurrences in the events that happen around us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/knowledge-comes-from-noticing-resemblances-and-recurrences-in-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/physiognomy-n-the-art-of-determining-the-character-of-another-by-the/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [Any resemblance is coincidentally pure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-alejandro-king/any-resemblance-is-coincidentally-pure/) [John Alejandro King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-alejandro-king/) > [Art finds her own perfection within, and not outside of, herself. She is not to be judged by any external standard of resemblance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/art-finds-her-own-perfection-within-and-not-outside-of-herself-she-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The rationale which accompanies that imposition of male authority euphemistically referred to as 'the battle of the sexes' bears a certain resemblance to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-millett/the-rationale-which-accompanies-that-imposition-of-male-authority/) [Kate Millett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-millett/) ## More by Barbara Kingsolver > [“Jesus was a more reliable backer, evidently, less likely to drink himself unconscious or get liver cancer. No wonder people chose Him as their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/jesus-was-a-more-reliable-backer-evidently-less-likely-to-drink/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [Now I'm starting to think he wasn't supposed to be my whole life, he was just this doorway to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/now-i-m-starting-to-think-he-wasn-t-supposed-to-be-my-whole-life-he/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [Cooking is 80 percent confidence, a skill best acquired starting from when the apron strings wrap around you twice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/cooking-is-80-percent-confidence-a-skill-best-acquired-starting-from/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“In Bobby Ogle's version of heaven everyone would wind up in one place, criminals and Muslims included.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/in-bobby-ogle-s-version-of-heaven-everyone-would-wind-up-in-one-place/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“Weeds are job security for the gardener.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/weeds-are-job-security-for-the-gardener/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“It's what you do that makes your soul, not the other way around.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/it-s-what-you-do-that-makes-your-soul-not-the-other-way-around/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“Lusa turned to Crys, her eyes shining. "That was a luna." Crys shrugged. "So?" "So? So what? You want it should sing, too?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/lusa-turned-to-crys-her-eyes-shining-that-was-a-luna-crys-shrugged-so/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/the-strength-of-motherhood-is-greater-than-natural-laws/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“An imperfectly remembered life is a useless treachery. Every day, more fragments of the past roll around heavily in the chambers of an empty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/an-imperfectly-remembered-life-is-a-useless-treachery-every-day-more/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [Respecting the dignity of a spectacular food means enjoying it at its best. Europeans celebrate the short season of abundant asparagus as a form…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/respecting-the-dignity-of-a-spectacular-food-means-enjoying-it-at-its/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“Somehow it had come to pass that this man was her whole world, and she had failed to take his measure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/somehow-it-had-come-to-pass-that-this-man-was-her-whole-world-and-she/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [After 'The Poisonwood Bible' was published, several people believed that my parents were missionaries, which could not be further from the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/after-the-poisonwood-bible-was-published-several-people-believed-that/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [I can count all the ways in which being a mother has enriched my understanding of the world, of character, my sense of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/i-can-count-all-the-ways-in-which-being-a-mother-has-enriched-my/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [But we've all ended up giving body and soul to Africa, one way or another. Even Adah, who's becoming an expert in tropical epidemiology…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/but-we-ve-all-ended-up-giving-body-and-soul-to-africa-one-way-or/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/if-the-lord-hasn-t-got-a-boyfriend-lined-up-for-me-to-marry-that-s/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) [Explore all 939 Barbara Kingsolver quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) ## More Appearance quotes > [Your looks don't make you pretty, it's the person inside who makes you pretty!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-chan/your-looks-don-t-make-you-pretty-it-s-the-person-inside-who-makes-you/) [Aaron Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-chan/) > [I just worried about my weight. Worried about my appearance and thought I wan't pretty enough to be a pop star. It was very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-durham/i-just-worried-about-my-weight-worried-about-my-appearance-and/) [Judith Durham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-durham/) > [The essence of worldliness is exclusion of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-jacobsen/the-essence-of-worldliness-is-exclusion-of-god/) [Henry Jacobsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-jacobsen/) > [We must, however, note that what are usually called the high religions made their appearance within about twenty-five hundred years - most of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-scott-latourette/we-must-however-note-that-what-are-usually-called-the-high-religions/) [Kenneth Scott Latourette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-scott-latourette/) > [First impressions are often the truest, as we find (not infrequently) to our cost, when we have been wheedled out of them by plausible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-hazlitt/first-impressions-are-often-the-truest-as-we-find-not-infrequently-to/) [William Hazlitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-hazlitt/) > [The turning points of lives are not the great moments. The real crises are often concealed in occurrences so trivial in appearance that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/the-turning-points-of-lives-are-not-the-great-moments-the-real-crises/) [George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/) > [You can have a nice body, dress with the latest fashion. But if you don't have self-confidence sweetheart, forget about looking sexy, you can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-rambharack/you-can-have-a-nice-body-dress-with-the-latest-fashion-but-if-you-don/) [Glen Rambharack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-rambharack/) > [I cannot be convinced that great artists are moralists. Art is first appearances, then meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/i-cannot-be-convinced-that-great-artists-are-moralists-art-is-first/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [So may the outward shows be least themselves; The world is still deceived with ornament.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/so-may-the-outward-shows-be-least-themselves-the-world-is-still/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We are one of many appearances of the thing called Life; we are not its perfect image, for it has no perfect image except…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/loren-eiseley/we-are-one-of-many-appearances-of-the-thing-called-life-we-are-not/) [Loren Eiseley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/loren-eiseley/) > [I'm OK with my appearance. I have made my peace with it after a long and frankly exhausting battle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-perkins/i-m-ok-with-my-appearance-i-have-made-my-peace-with-it-after-a-long/) [Sue Perkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-perkins/) > [There is no society or conversation to be kept up in the world without good-nature, or something which must bear its appearance and supply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/there-is-no-society-or-conversation-to-be-kept-up-in-the-world/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [Appearance records are pretty special. Mine means a lot to me, not only because I love stats, but because it shows that I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james/appearance-records-are-pretty-special-mine-means-a-lot-to-me-not-only/) [David James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james/) > [Every man would fall in love with their voice, their lovely appearance, but no man would ever get past that. They'd never really know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-hocking/every-man-would-fall-in-love-with-their-voice-their-lovely-appearance/) [Amanda Hocking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-hocking/) > [I already know what things look like - I don't want description. People believe in appearances, and I don't believe in appearances at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/duane-michals/i-already-know-what-things-look-like-i-don-t-want-description-people/) [Duane Michals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/duane-michals/) [Browse all 2,446 Appearance quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/appearance/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most easily read by those who know you least.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Barbara Kingsolver" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frustrating-code-most-easily-read/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Appearance" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frustrating-code-most-easily-read/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/barbara-kingsolver-200_appearance_your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frust_1333475.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Your own family resemblances are a frustrating code, most easily read by those who know you least.” — Barbara Kingsolver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Barbara Kingsolver", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Your own family resemblances are a...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frustrating-code-most-easily-read/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/your-own-family-resemblances-are-a-frustrating-code-most-easily-read/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```