--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Vengeance is not the point; change is…" description: "\"Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/barbara-deming-14719_change_vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is-but_1321119.jpg" --- # Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is… ![“Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.” quote by Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/barbara-deming-14719_change_vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is-but_1321119.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/barbara-deming-14719_change_vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is-but_1321119.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/barbara-deming-14719_change_vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is-but_1321119.jpg) > “Vengeance is not the point; change is. But the trouble is that in most people's minds the thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.” [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True change arises from justice and healing, not from seeking revenge. **In simple terms:** Change, not revenge, is the goal. Key Takeaway Focus on restorative solutions rather than punitive ones. Themes justice peace transformation ethics Mood thoughtful determined Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - conflict resolution - social movements - personal healing Key Concepts Restorative justice nonviolent resistance Questions to Reflect On - What alternatives to vengeance promote lasting peace? - How can societies shift from punitive to restorative mindsets? A Different Perspective Revenge can perpetuate cycles of violence. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Coincidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/coincidence/) [Enemy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enemy/) [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Vengeance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vengeance/) [Victory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/victory/) ## Related quotes > [“One positive thought is the victory you need today!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/one-positive-thought-is-the-victory-you-need-today/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [“Holding unforgiveness in my heart and expecting it to hurt my abusers was the equivalent of drinking poison myself and expecting it to kill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/perry-noble/holding-unforgiveness-in-my-heart-and-expecting-it-to-hurt-my-abusers/) [Perry Noble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/perry-noble/) > [“A small victory, he thought, but sweet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-r-r-martin/a-small-victory-he-thought-but-sweet/) [George R.R. Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-r-r-martin/) > [The spiritual battle, the loss of victory, is always in the thought-world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-schaeffer/the-spiritual-battle-the-loss-of-victory-is-always-in-the-thought/) [Francis Schaeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-schaeffer/) > [Victory is the thought transformation resulting from comprehending that physical immortality...perpetual longevity, sans illness and aging...eternal, healthy, youthful life in your living flesh... is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-goodman/victory-is-the-thought-transformation-resulting-from-comprehending/) [Linda Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-goodman/) > [Something seems wrong to most people engaged in struggle when they see more people hurt on their own side than on the other side.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/something-seems-wrong-to-most-people-engaged-in-struggle-when-they/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Vengeance is not the point: change is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The rarer action is in virtue than in vengeance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/the-rarer-action-is-in-virtue-than-in-vengeance/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [I struggle with insecurities. I struggle with forgiveness. I struggle with letting someone go that did me dirty without vengeance, which is an evil…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessie-reyez/i-struggle-with-insecurities-i-struggle-with-forgiveness-i-struggle/) [Jessie Reyez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessie-reyez/) > [“A trop le battre, même le fer devient épée.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agurzil-le-dieu-impie-tiziri-wuming/a-trop-le-battre-m-me-le-fer-devient-p-e/) Agurzil le dieu impie Tiziri Wuming > [“I want you to understand me. This isn’t vengeance. This is punishment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-want-you-to-understand-me-this-isn-t-vengeance-this-is-punishment/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“Waiting for Vengeance' Well, what is this? What am I coming to? And beyond that, what am I gonna do? Now there’s blankness Where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gayle-forman/waiting-for-vengeance-well-what-is-this-what-am-i-coming-to-and/) [Gayle Forman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gayle-forman/) > [ \[Photographer Julian Wasser\] had this great idea that I should play chess naked with Marcel Duchamp and it seem to be such a great… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-babitz/photographer-julian-wasser-had-this-great-idea-that-i-should-play/) [Eve Babitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-babitz/) > [If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-scott-bakker/if-soot-stains-your-tunic-dye-it-black-this-is-vengeance/) [R. Scott Bakker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-scott-bakker/) > [“I am awake. I know what you took. I am coming for you. Vengeance is mine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-burks/i-am-awake-i-know-what-you-took-i-am-coming-for-you-vengeance-is-mine/) [Robin Burks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-burks/) ## More by Barbara Deming > [Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-tactics-can-move-into-action-on-our-behalf-men-not/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our own pulse beats in every stranger's throat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-own-pulse-beats-in-every-stranger-s-throat/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek. The most effective action both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/to-resort-to-power-one-need-not-be-violent-and-to-speak-to-conscience/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision. . . is one that abandons the concept of naming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/i-think-the-only-choice-that-will-enable-us-to-hold-to-our-vision-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-action-does-not-have-to-get-others-to-be-nice-it-can-in/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one's fears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/think-first-of-the-action-that-is-right-to-take-think-later-about/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/surely-all-of-us-are-nerved-by-one-another-catch-courage-from-one/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [We cannot live without our lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/we-cannot-live-without-our-lives/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/let-me-be-really-here-here-in-this-place-and-this-time-where-i-am/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-injunction-that-we-should-love-our-neighbors-as-ourselves-means/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Vengeance is not the point: change is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [A liberation movement that is nonviolent sets the oppressor free as well as the oppressed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/a-liberation-movement-that-is-nonviolent-sets-the-oppressor-free-as/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/people-may-find-it-more-comfortable-to-listen-to-us-if-we-equivocate/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-task-of-course-is-to-transmute-the-anger-that-is-affliction-into/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-point-is-to-change-one-s-life-the-point-is-not-to-give-some-vent/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) [Explore all 45 Barbara Deming quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## More Change quotes > [Only within yourself exists the other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) Phil Hogan > [Nobody can tell me that no changes are necessary in Washington.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-weld/nobody-can-tell-me-that-no-changes-are-necessary-in-washington/) [William Weld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-weld/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [When you walk down the street of Kabul your values for life changes, they do change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-pierre-white/when-you-walk-down-the-street-of-kabul-your-values-for-life-changes/) [Marco Pierre White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-pierre-white/) > [Your world will change whether or not you choose to change, but you have the power to choose it's direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/your-world-will-change-whether-or-not-you-choose-to-change-but-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [I hope I continue to evolve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-flair/i-hope-i-continue-to-evolve/) [Charlotte Flair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-flair/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-alexis/the-biggest-change-for-me-as-a-mom-was-realizing-i-needed-to-put/) [Kim Alexis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-alexis/) > [“After the funeral, my life changed. I felt as if time were suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and I could not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/after-the-funeral-my-life-changed-i-felt-as-if-time-were-suddenly/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [You practice mindfulness, on the one hand, to be calm and peaceful. On the other hand, as you practice mindfulness and live a life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-practice-mindfulness-on-the-one-hand-to-be-calm-and-peaceful-on/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Irish research will contribute to global progress and have the potential to help all countries realise the potential of their land sectors in addressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enda-kenny/irish-research-will-contribute-to-global-progress-and-have-the/) [Enda Kenny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enda-kenny/) > [No man can change himself into anything from sheer reason; he can only change into what he potentially is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/no-man-can-change-himself-into-anything-from-sheer-reason-he-can-only/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) [Browse all 33,920 Change quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Vengeance is not the point; change is. 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