--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The longer we listen to one another…" description: "\"The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/barbara-deming-14719_another-life_the-longer-we-listen-to-one-another-with_1851309.jpg" --- # The longer we listen to one another - with real attention… ![“The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.” quote by Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/barbara-deming-14719_another-life_the-longer-we-listen-to-one-another-with_1851309.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/barbara-deming-14719_another-life_the-longer-we-listen-to-one-another-with_1851309.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/barbara-deming-14719_another-life_the-longer-we-listen-to-one-another-with_1851309.jpg) > “The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.” [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Deep, attentive listening reveals shared humanity beyond opinions, fostering connection through life stories. **In simple terms:** Listening closely uncovers common ground. Key Takeaway Practice active, story‑focused listening. Themes communication empathy human connection dialogue Mood reflective empathetic Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - counseling sessions - team meetings - family discussions Key Concepts active listening story exchange mindful attention Questions to Reflect On - What stories have changed your view? - How can you encourage deeper listening? A Different Perspective Listening alone does not resolve conflict without action. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Another life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another-life/) [Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention/) [Attention Commonality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention-commonality-2430256/) [Careful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/careful/) [Commonality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commonality/) [Commonality Lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commonality-lives-2430255/) [Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/culture/) [Diversity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/diversity/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life story](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-story/) [Longer Listen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longer-listen-2430257/) [Opinion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opinion/) [Our lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/our-lives/) [Peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peace/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Real Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-attention-2430258/) [Social justice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-justice/) [Stories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stories/) ## Related quotes > [“Past relationships are nothing more than a collection of songs you can no longer listen to.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darnell-lamont-walker/past-relationships-are-nothing-more-than-a-collection-of-songs-you/) [Darnell Lamont Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darnell-lamont-walker/) > [I can no longer listen to 'The Listening' because it's been done so many times now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lights/i-can-no-longer-listen-to-the-listening-because-it-s-been-done-so/) [Lights](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lights/) > [ Even though we all might have differences, there's commonality in the sense \[that\] people are hard-working, people want to raise a family, people want… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marty-walsh/even-though-we-all-might-have-differences-there-s-commonality-in-the/) [Marty Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marty-walsh/) > [“...human beings are hungry for God; they long to live lives filled with purpose and love. They want to be able to support their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-j-davis/human-beings-are-hungry-for-god-they-long-to-live-lives-filled-with/) [Katie J. Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-j-davis/) > [I know that when we interact with those we fear and hate, we will find commonality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilhan-omar/i-know-that-when-we-interact-with-those-we-fear-and-hate-we-will-find/) [Ilhan Omar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilhan-omar/) > [“There’s commonality in the ways that we fear, and there’s commonality in the ways that we fail, and when we partner in the pain,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melanie-dale/there-s-commonality-in-the-ways-that-we-fear-and-there-s-commonality/) [Melanie Dale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melanie-dale/) > [I would not want to be in the same movement with an anarcho-syndicalist, however much I may respect and like that person. Some of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/murray-bookchin/i-would-not-want-to-be-in-the-same-movement-with-an-anarcho/) [Murray Bookchin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/murray-bookchin/) > [People generally overestimate how distinct their lives are, so the commonalities seemed to them like a series of miracles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-brooks/people-generally-overestimate-how-distinct-their-lives-are-so-the/) [David Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-brooks/) > [“Storytelling is among the oldest forms of communication. Storytelling is the commonality of all human beings, in all places, in all times. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rives-collins/storytelling-is-among-the-oldest-forms-of-communication-storytelling/) [Rives Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rives-collins/) > [“Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. Every major world religion has this rule in common and a God…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darrell-mowat/golden-rule-do-unto-others-as-you-would-have-done-unto-yourself-every/) [Darrell Mowat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darrell-mowat/) > [All of the characters in my films, they share one commonality. It doesn't matter whether they are good or bad, it doesn't matter whether…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/park-chan-wook/all-of-the-characters-in-my-films-they-share-one-commonality-it-doesn/) [Park Chan-wook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/park-chan-wook/) > [I have been a comic book fan nearly all my life. My fascination began as a refuge after my father left because it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-aydin/i-have-been-a-comic-book-fan-nearly-all-my-life-my-fascination-began/) [Andrew Aydin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-aydin/) > [A powerful force drives the world toward a converging commonality, and that force is technology. … Almost everyone everywhere wants all the things they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-levitt/a-powerful-force-drives-the-world-toward-a-converging-commonality-and/) [Theodore Levitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-levitt/) > [“Strategic Commonality “Social media has capitalized on helping people find others who share their similar interests, shared experiences, and common passions. With social media,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/strategic-commonality-social-media-has-capitalized-on-helping-people/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [“Commonality & Camaraderie. By identifying, developing, and connecting powerful points of reference to others, you will have a rich resource of information from which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/commonality-camaraderie-by-identifying-developing-and-connecting/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) ## More by Barbara Deming > [Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-tactics-can-move-into-action-on-our-behalf-men-not/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our own pulse beats in every stranger's throat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-own-pulse-beats-in-every-stranger-s-throat/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek. The most effective action both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/to-resort-to-power-one-need-not-be-violent-and-to-speak-to-conscience/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision. . . is one that abandons the concept of naming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/i-think-the-only-choice-that-will-enable-us-to-hold-to-our-vision-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-action-does-not-have-to-get-others-to-be-nice-it-can-in/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one's fears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/think-first-of-the-action-that-is-right-to-take-think-later-about/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/surely-all-of-us-are-nerved-by-one-another-catch-courage-from-one/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [We cannot live without our lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/we-cannot-live-without-our-lives/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/let-me-be-really-here-here-in-this-place-and-this-time-where-i-am/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-injunction-that-we-should-love-our-neighbors-as-ourselves-means/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Vengeance is not the point: change is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [A liberation movement that is nonviolent sets the oppressor free as well as the oppressed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/a-liberation-movement-that-is-nonviolent-sets-the-oppressor-free-as/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/people-may-find-it-more-comfortable-to-listen-to-us-if-we-equivocate/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-task-of-course-is-to-transmute-the-anger-that-is-affliction-into/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-point-is-to-change-one-s-life-the-point-is-not-to-give-some-vent/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) [Explore all 45 Barbara Deming quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## More Another life quotes > [“Small memories of another life flutter through my head like moths — all grey images and tearstains”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-r-kahler/small-memories-of-another-life-flutter-through-my-head-like-moths-all/) [A.R. Kahler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-r-kahler/) > [When you chopped logs with the ax and they split open they smelled beautiful, like Christmas. But when you split someone's head open it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-atkinson/when-you-chopped-logs-with-the-ax-and-they-split-open-they-smelled/) [Kate Atkinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-atkinson/) > [“I love the dark hours of my being. My mind deepens into them. There I can find, as in old letters, the days of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/i-love-the-dark-hours-of-my-being-my-mind-deepens-into-them-there-i/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [In another life, I would be your girl. Capable of making promises. We would rule the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-perry/in-another-life-i-would-be-your-girl-capable-of-making-promises-we/) [Katy Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-perry/) > [I couldn't even think about wanting to be something else; I wouldn't let myself visualize another life. But I wrote because I couldn't stop.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-z/i-couldn-t-even-think-about-wanting-to-be-something-else-i-wouldn-t/) [Jay-Z](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-z/) > [And whatever my life had been up to that day, it was another life after that. And that is the gospel truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sebastian-barry/and-whatever-my-life-had-been-up-to-that-day-it-was-another-life/) [Sebastian Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sebastian-barry/) > [Literature duplicates the experience of living in a way that nothing else can, drawing you so fully into another life that you temporarily forget…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/literature-duplicates-the-experience-of-living-in-a-way-that-nothing/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [Whatever you have received more than others-in health, in talents, in ability, in success, in a pleasant childhood, in harmonious conditions of home life-all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-schweitzer/whatever-you-have-received-more-than-others-in-health-in-talents-in/) [Albert Schweitzer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-schweitzer/) > [“Let me give you a bit of advice.' the girl said bitterly, 'from one working girl to another; life isn't easy, no matter where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-j-maas/let-me-give-you-a-bit-of-advice-the-girl-said-bitterly-from-one/) [Sarah J. Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-j-maas/) > [“The vibrations he felt in his sleep had nothing to do with his soul easing out of his body as he dreamily thought; they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author-poet-aberjhani/the-vibrations-he-felt-in-his-sleep-had-nothing-to-do-with-his-soul/) [Author-Poet Aberjhani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/author-poet-aberjhani/) > [I wasn't born with a tie or with Mark Shields stapled to my left hip. I have another life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-brooks/i-wasn-t-born-with-a-tie-or-with-mark-shields-stapled-to-my-left-hip/) [David Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-brooks/) > [For many observers, a child who has known nothing but war, a child for whom the Kalashnikov is the only way to make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ishmael-beah/for-many-observers-a-child-who-has-known-nothing-but-war-a-child-for/) [Ishmael Beah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ishmael-beah/) > [I mean, is there a chance for me? To have another life after this, a better one?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/i-mean-is-there-a-chance-for-me-to-have-another-life-after-this-a/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [We, all who live, have A life that is lived And another life that is thought, And the only life we have It's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-pessoa/we-all-who-live-have-a-life-that-is-lived-and-another-life-that-is/) [Fernando Pessoa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-pessoa/) > [The death-change comes. Death is another life. We bow our heads At going out, we think, and enter straight Another golden chamber of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-james-bailey/the-death-change-comes-death-is-another-life-we-bow-our-heads-at/) [Philip James Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-james-bailey/) [Browse all 433 Another life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another-life/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. 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