--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Manliness has been defined as assertion…" description: "\"Manliness has been defined as assertion of the self. Womanliness has been defined as the nurturing of selves other than our own - even if we quite lose..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/barbara-deming-14719_assertion_manliness-has-been-defined-as-assertion_2767507.jpg" --- # Manliness has been defined as assertion of the self… ![“Manliness has been defined as assertion of the self. Womanliness has been defined as the nurturing of selves other than our own - even if we quite lose our own in the process. (Women are supposed to find in this loss their true fulfillment.) But every individual person is born both to assert…” quote by Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/barbara-deming-14719_assertion_manliness-has-been-defined-as-assertion_2767507.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/barbara-deming-14719_assertion_manliness-has-been-defined-as-assertion_2767507.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/barbara-deming-14719_assertion_manliness-has-been-defined-as-assertion_2767507.jpg) > “Manliness has been defined as assertion of the self. Womanliness has been defined as the nurturing of selves other than our own - even if we quite lose our own in the process. (Women are supposed to find in this loss their true fulfillment.) But every individual person is born both to assert herself or himself and to act out a sympathy for others trying to find themselves - in Christian terms, meant to love one's self as one loves others ... Jesus never taught that we should split up that commandment - assigning 'love yourself' to men, 'love others' to women. But society has tried to.” [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote argues that traditional gender roles split self‑assertion and nurturing, but true humanity requires both self‑love and love for others, regardless of gender. **In simple terms:** Both men and women should assert themselves and nurture others. Key Takeaway Balance self‑assertion with compassion. Themes gender roles self‑love compassion feminist critique Mood reflective empathetic Type philosophical ethical inspirational When to use this quote - personal relationships - leadership - counseling - community building Key Concepts intersectionality identity ethical responsibility Questions to Reflect On - How can we nurture self‑assertion without neglecting others? - What practices foster balanced self‑love and love for others? A Different Perspective It may overlook cultural contexts where self‑assertion can be harmful. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Assertion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assertion/) [Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/born/) [Christian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/christian/) [Commandments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commandments/) [Defined](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/defined/) [Fulfillment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fulfillment/) [Has beens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/has-beens/) [His loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/his-loss/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Individual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/individual/) [Jesus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jesus/) [Loses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loses/) [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-you/) [Love yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-yourself/) [Manliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/manliness/) [Manliness Defined](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/manliness-defined-3217723/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Nurturing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nurturing/) [One love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/one-love/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Process](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/process/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self Womanliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-womanliness-3217725/) [Should](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should/) [Splits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/splits/) [Taught](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taught/) [Term](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/term/) [Trying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trying/) [Womanliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/womanliness-1184987/) [Womanliness Defined](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/womanliness-defined-3217724/) ## Related quotes > [I'm very proud of my breasts, as every woman should be. It's not cellular obesity. It's womanliness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anita-ekberg/i-m-very-proud-of-my-breasts-as-every-woman-should-be-it-s-not/) [Anita Ekberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anita-ekberg/) > [In an ideal state of society we never lose sight of the womanliness of women…why should it be considered a compliment to any woman…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wordsworth/in-an-ideal-state-of-society-we-never-lose-sight-of-the-womanliness/) [Elizabeth Wordsworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wordsworth/) > [Everyone carries within himself an image of womanliness derived from his mother: it is this that determines whether, on the whole,he will revere women,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/everyone-carries-within-himself-an-image-of-womanliness-derived-from/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [There is nothing wherein their womanliness is more honestly garnished than with silence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-udall/there-is-nothing-wherein-their-womanliness-is-more-honestly-garnished/) [Nicholas Udall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-udall/) > [God gave women instinct and womanliness. Utilized appropriately, the combo effortlessly disorders the mind of any man I've ever met.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farrah-fawcett/god-gave-women-instinct-and-womanliness-utilized-appropriately-the/) [Farrah Fawcett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farrah-fawcett/) > [Women still have an uneasy relationship with power and the traits necessary to be a leader. There is this internalized fear that if we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arianna-huffington/women-still-have-an-uneasy-relationship-with-power-and-the-traits/) [Arianna Huffington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arianna-huffington/) > [Like every other girl in the world, my most embarrassing moment had to do with a guy completely turning me down. His loss!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-clarkson/like-every-other-girl-in-the-world-my-most-embarrassing-moment-had-to/) [Kelly Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-clarkson/) > [The numbness of his loss had passed, and the pain would hit me out of nowhere, doubling me over, racking my body with sobs.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/the-numbness-of-his-loss-had-passed-and-the-pain-would-hit-me-out-of/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [Finally, the lessons of impermanence taught me this: loss constitutes an odd kind of fullness; despair empties out into an unquenchable appetite for life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretel-ehrlich/finally-the-lessons-of-impermanence-taught-me-this-loss-constitutes/) [Gretel Ehrlich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretel-ehrlich/) > [Fattened in vice, so callous and so gross, he sins and sees not, senseless of his loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dryden/fattened-in-vice-so-callous-and-so-gross-he-sins-and-sees-not/) [John Dryden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dryden/) > [“One of the grubby truths about a loss is that you don't just mourn the dead person, you mourn the person you got to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/one-of-the-grubby-truths-about-a-loss-is-that-you-don-t-just-mourn/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [He that hath no good trade, it is to his losse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-herbert/he-that-hath-no-good-trade-it-is-to-his-losse/) [George Herbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-herbert/) > [Our generation is lost to the truth of God, to the reality of divine revelation, to the content of God's will, to the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-f-h-henry/our-generation-is-lost-to-the-truth-of-god-to-the-reality-of-divine/) [Carl F. H. Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-f-h-henry/) > [You cannot survive without that intangible quality we call heart. The mark of a top player is not how much he wins when he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-baldwin/you-cannot-survive-without-that-intangible-quality-we-call-heart-the/) [Bobby Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-baldwin/) > [I was definitely incredibly close to my dad, in a way that was all-encompassing. I am close to my mum, too, but there were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-richardson/i-was-definitely-incredibly-close-to-my-dad-in-a-way-that-was-all/) [Natasha Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-richardson/) ## More by Barbara Deming > [Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf men not naturally inclined to act for us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-tactics-can-move-into-action-on-our-behalf-men-not/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our own pulse beats in every stranger's throat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-own-pulse-beats-in-every-stranger-s-throat/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek. The most effective action both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/to-resort-to-power-one-need-not-be-violent-and-to-speak-to-conscience/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision. . . is one that abandons the concept of naming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/i-think-the-only-choice-that-will-enable-us-to-hold-to-our-vision-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice. It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/nonviolent-action-does-not-have-to-get-others-to-be-nice-it-can-in/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one's fears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/think-first-of-the-action-that-is-right-to-take-think-later-about/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/surely-all-of-us-are-nerved-by-one-another-catch-courage-from-one/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [We cannot live without our lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/we-cannot-live-without-our-lives/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/let-me-be-really-here-here-in-this-place-and-this-time-where-i-am/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-injunction-that-we-should-love-our-neighbors-as-ourselves-means/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Vengeance is not the point: change is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/vengeance-is-not-the-point-change-is/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [A liberation movement that is nonviolent sets the oppressor free as well as the oppressed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/a-liberation-movement-that-is-nonviolent-sets-the-oppressor-free-as/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/people-may-find-it-more-comfortable-to-listen-to-us-if-we-equivocate/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change. I think,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/our-task-of-course-is-to-transmute-the-anger-that-is-affliction-into/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) > [The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one; the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-deming/the-point-is-to-change-one-s-life-the-point-is-not-to-give-some-vent/) [Barbara Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) [Explore all 45 Barbara Deming quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-deming/) ## More Assertion quotes > [Washington bureaucrats have classified the very air we exhale as a pollutant and have gone unchallenged in this incredible assertion. The logical consequence is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-paul/washington-bureaucrats-have-classified-the-very-air-we-exhale-as-a/) [Ron Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-paul/) > [Metaphysical assertions, however, are statements of the psyche, and are therefore psychological. Whenever the Westerner hears the word “psychological,” it always sounds to him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/metaphysical-assertions-however-are-statements-of-the-psyche-and-are/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) > [At length weariness succeeds to labor, and the mind lies at ease in the contemplation of her own attainments without any desire of new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/at-length-weariness-succeeds-to-labor-and-the-mind-lies-at-ease-in/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [When on a Sunday morning we hear the old bells ring out, we ask ourselves, "Is it possible! This is done on account of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/when-on-a-sunday-morning-we-hear-the-old-bells-ring-out-we-ask/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [“Knowledge as a past fact, as something dead and done with—knowledge by the time it gets into encyclopaedias and text-books—does consist of assertion, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-g-collingwood/knowledge-as-a-past-fact-as-something-dead-and-done-with-knowledge-by/) [R. G. Collingwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-g-collingwood/) > [What causes adolescents to rebel is not the assertion of authority but the arbitrary use of power, with little explanation of the rules and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-steinberg/what-causes-adolescents-to-rebel-is-not-the-assertion-of-authority/) [Laurence Steinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-steinberg/) > [Those who know that the consensus of many centuries has sanctioned the conception that the earth remains at rest in the middle of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicolaus-copernicus/those-who-know-that-the-consensus-of-many-centuries-has-sanctioned/) [Nicolaus Copernicus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicolaus-copernicus/) > [Upon the profound discontent of the young in every country do I set my faith. I beg you, the young, to be discontented. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-s-buck/upon-the-profound-discontent-of-the-young-in-every-country-do-i-set/) [Pearl S. Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-s-buck/) > [“Within certain limits terminology is always arbitrary. But the definition of being-true as unveiling, making manifest, is not an arbitrary, private invention of mine;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-heidegger/within-certain-limits-terminology-is-always-arbitrary-but-the/) [Martin Heidegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-heidegger/) > [There is in St. Paul's definite, soul-stirring assertion of the wrath of God and the reality of the judgment at hand, a truth more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-allen/there-is-in-st-paul-s-definite-soul-stirring-assertion-of-the-wrath/) [Roland Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-allen/) > [The Japanese see self-assertion as immoral and self- sacrifice as the sensible course to take in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akira-kurosawa/the-japanese-see-self-assertion-as-immoral-and-self-sacrifice-as-the/) [Akira Kurosawa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/akira-kurosawa/) > [But innovation is more than a new method. It is a new view of the universe, as one of risk rather than of chance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-drucker/but-innovation-is-more-than-a-new-method-it-is-a-new-view-of-the/) [Peter Drucker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-drucker/) > [What I need to write is a complicated equation. Maybe if I knew I'd be one of those writers, one of the steady ones.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-keck/what-i-need-to-write-is-a-complicated-equation-maybe-if-i-knew-i-d-be/) [Kevin Keck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-keck/) > [There needs to be a public dawning - and it is beginning to dawn on some members of the public - that how science…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-d-holt-jr/there-needs-to-be-a-public-dawning-and-it-is-beginning-to-dawn-on/) [Rush D. Holt, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-d-holt-jr/) > [So long as Muslims continue looking towards Western civilization as the only force that could regenerate their own stagnant society, they destroy their self-confidence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muhammad-asad/so-long-as-muslims-continue-looking-towards-western-civilization-as/) [Muhammad Asad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muhammad-asad/) [Browse all 279 Assertion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assertion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Manliness has been defined as assertion of the self. Womanliness has been defined as the nurturing of selves other than our own - even if we quite lose our own in the process. (Women are supposed to find in this loss their true fulfillment.) 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