--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: To the extent that I had come to…" description: "\"To the extent that I had come to understand that despair does not necessarily result in annihilation, that one can go on as usual in spite of it, I had..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/banana-yoshimoto-1375_adults_to-the-extent-that-i-had-come-to-underst_2411128.jpg" --- # To the extent that I had come to understand that despair… ![“To the extent that I had come to understand that despair does not necessarily result in annihilation, that one can go on as usual in spite of it, I had become hardened. Was this what it means to be an adult, to live with ugly ambiguities? I didn't like it, but it made it easier to go on.” quote by Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/banana-yoshimoto-1375_adults_to-the-extent-that-i-had-come-to-underst_2411128.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/banana-yoshimoto-1375_adults_to-the-extent-that-i-had-come-to-underst_2411128.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/banana-yoshimoto-1375_adults_to-the-extent-that-i-had-come-to-underst_2411128.jpg) > “To the extent that I had come to understand that despair does not necessarily result in annihilation, that one can go on as usual in spite of it, I had become hardened. Was this what it means to be an adult, to live with ugly ambiguities? I didn't like it, but it made it easier to go on.” [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Despair can coexist with resilience; adulthood may involve accepting ambiguous, painful truths. **In simple terms:** Despair and resilience coexist. Key Takeaway Accept ambiguity, keep moving forward. Themes adulthood despair resilience ambiguity psychology Mood reflective melancholic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal loss - career setbacks - health crises - relationship challenges Key Concepts existentialism emotional coping maturity Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance acceptance with emotional health? - Can ambiguity be a source of strength? A Different Perspective Hardening may suppress emotional growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adults](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adults/) [Ambiguity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambiguity/) [Annihilation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/annihilation/) [Despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) [Spite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spite/) ## Related quotes > [“I had come to understand that despair does not necessarily result in annihilation, that one can go on as usual despite of it...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/i-had-come-to-understand-that-despair-does-not-necessarily-result-in/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [There are circumstances in which despair does not imply inactivity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-burke/there-are-circumstances-in-which-despair-does-not-imply-inactivity/) [Edmund Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-burke/) > [But however close we sometimes seem to that dark and final abyss, let no man of peace and freedom despair. For he does not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-f-kennedy/but-however-close-we-sometimes-seem-to-that-dark-and-final-abyss-let/) [John F. Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-f-kennedy/) > [That is to say that despair does not seem to be in any way potentially to be productive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathon-keats/that-is-to-say-that-despair-does-not-seem-to-be-in-any-way/) [Jonathon Keats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathon-keats/) > [“Money dosen't buy happiness but I understand the despair is excellent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phillip-harris/money-dosen-t-buy-happiness-but-i-understand-the-despair-is-excellent/) Phillip Harris > [“Listen closely, Sebastien Newcombe, ... I will only say this once. I understand the despair coursing through you. I understand the rage that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dianne-duvall/listen-closely-sebastien-newcombe-i-will-only-say-this-once-i/) [Dianne Duvall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dianne-duvall/) > [“Women get desperate, but they don't understand despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-gaddis/women-get-desperate-but-they-don-t-understand-despair/) [William Gaddis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-gaddis/) > [“But if someone really cared, well they'd take the time to spare, a moment to try and understand, another one's despair”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guns-n-roses/but-if-someone-really-cared-well-they-d-take-the-time-to-spare-a/) Guns N' Roses > [The glassblower knows: while in the heat of beginning, any shape is possible. Once hardened, the only way to change is to break.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-nepo/the-glassblower-knows-while-in-the-heat-of-beginning-any-shape-is/) [Mark Nepo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-nepo/) > [The sun by the action of heat makes wax moist and mud dry, hardening the one while it softens the other, by the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodoret/the-sun-by-the-action-of-heat-makes-wax-moist-and-mud-dry-hardening/) Theodoret > [Then the old man's face hardened. "What about you young man?" he asked flatly. "Would you like to get what you deserve?" Jones let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-andrews/then-the-old-man-s-face-hardened-what-about-you-young-man-he-asked/) [Andy Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-andrews/) > [“We still go where we want, even if we got to crawl for the right.' - Tom Joad (Jr.)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/we-still-go-where-we-want-even-if-we-got-to-crawl-for-the-right-tom/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [Loud o'er my head though awful thunders roll, And vivid lightnings flash from pole to pole, Yet 'tis Thy voice, my God, that bids…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-scott/loud-o-er-my-head-though-awful-thunders-roll-and-vivid-lightnings/) [Walter Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-scott/) > [Our past is the forge upon which we are hardened and tempered, to prepare us for the present. We are like a fine blade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-atchley-jr/our-past-is-the-forge-upon-which-we-are-hardened-and-tempered-to/) Larry Atchley Jr > [Seek ye counsel of the aged for their eyes have looked on the faces of the years and their ears have hardened to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khalil-gibran/seek-ye-counsel-of-the-aged-for-their-eyes-have-looked-on-the-faces/) [Khalil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khalil-gibran/) ## More by Banana Yoshimoto > [it'll be this kind of deep blue”she said. “The kind of color that somehow sucks your eyes and your ears and all your words…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/it-ll-be-this-kind-of-deep-blue-she-said-the-kind-of-color-that/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“People look so beautiful when their expressions show that they know they have a future.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/people-look-so-beautiful-when-their-expressions-show-that-they-know/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“I don’t put any stock in whatever it is that happens inside my head.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/i-don-t-put-any-stock-in-whatever-it-is-that-happens-inside-my-head/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [The way we think may be completely different, but you and I are an ancient, archetypal couple, the original man and woman. We are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/the-way-we-think-may-be-completely-different-but-you-and-i-are-an/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [I love feeling the rhythm of other people's lives. It's like traveling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/i-love-feeling-the-rhythm-of-other-people-s-lives-it-s-like-traveling/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“But that’s only because we have to be that way in order to get on with our lives. Just because people are playing doesn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/but-that-s-only-because-we-have-to-be-that-way-in-order-to-get-on/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“I know just how slimy people can be, and how people like that are during the daytime. 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In the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/i-held-the-feeling-in-my-heart-the-urge-to-discuss-it-died-out-there/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“Everything in my life revolves around people playing at being something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/everything-in-my-life-revolves-around-people-playing-at-being/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“When things get really bad, you take comfort in the placeness of a place. I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/when-things-get-really-bad-you-take-comfort-in-the-placeness-of-a/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“And usually, when it’s all over, I find that everything has come together surprisingly well. When that happens, I feel like I’ve been dancing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/and-usually-when-it-s-all-over-i-find-that-everything-has-come/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“In the uncertain ebb and flow of time and emotions, much of one's life history is etched in the senses. And things of no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/in-the-uncertain-ebb-and-flow-of-time-and-emotions-much-of-one-s-life/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [Everything that had happened was shockingly beautiful, enough to make you crazy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/everything-that-had-happened-was-shockingly-beautiful-enough-to-make/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) > [“Perhaps there are people in this world who love their fountain pens with every fiber of their being—and that's very sad. If you're not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/banana-yoshimoto/perhaps-there-are-people-in-this-world-who-love-their-fountain-pens/) [Banana Yoshimoto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) [Explore all 192 Banana Yoshimoto quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/banana-yoshimoto/) ## More Adults quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Plainly, the environment must be a living one, directed by a higher intelligence, arranged by an adult who is prepared for his mission.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/plainly-the-environment-must-be-a-living-one-directed-by-a-higher/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Education, for most people, means trying to lead the child to resemble the typical adult of his society . . . but for me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-piaget/education-for-most-people-means-trying-to-lead-the-child-to-resemble/) [Jean Piaget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-piaget/) > [I do not believe in public shaming. I do believe that young adults go to college to learn things, and that this process will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-weingarten/i-do-not-believe-in-public-shaming-i-do-believe-that-young-adults-go/) [Gene Weingarten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-weingarten/) > [The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance”: “The differences between expert performers and normal adults are not immutable, that is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-anders-ericsson/the-role-of-deliberate-practice-in-the-acquisition-of-expert/) K. 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As much as we like them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-abagnale/when-i-was-a-child-at-sixteen-i-was-just-a-child-all-sixteen-year/) [Frank Abagnale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-abagnale/) [Browse all 3,113 Adults quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adults/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To the extent that I had come to understand that despair does not necessarily result in annihilation, that one can go on as usual in spite of it, I had become hardened. Was this what it means to be an adult, to live with ugly ambiguities? 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