--- title: "Best Tim Allen Sayings" description: "Tim Allen, born Timothy Alan Dick, is an American actor and comedian best known for his role as Tim Taylor on Home Improvement and for voicing Buzz Ligh..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-tim-allen-90833.jpg" --- ![Portrait of Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-tim-allen-90833.jpg) # Tim Allen (1953) Character Animator United States **104** quotes in **631** categories Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet Tim Allen is a character animator from the United States, best known for *Humanitarianism*. ## Quick Facts About Tim Allen Born June 13, 1953 Nationality United States Profession Character Animator Notable works Humanitarianism Known for Toy Story, The Santa Clause, Last Man Standing, Home Improvement Spouse Jane Hajduk ## About Tim Allen He also starred as Mike Baxter on the sitcom Last Man Standing, earning a Golden Globe for Home Improvement and an Annie Award for his voice work as Buzz Lightyear. In the Santa Clause movies he played both Scott Calvin and Santa Claus. ## Awards & Honors Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Television Series Musical or Comedy Annie Award Disney Legends star on Hollywood Walk of Fame ## Quotes by Tim Allen · Page 3 > [To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/to-get-a-man-s-attention-just-stand-in-front-of-the-tv-and-don-t-move/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e40/tim-allen-4974_attention_to-get-a-man-s-attention-just-stand-in-f_324481.jpg) > [My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/my-wife-loves-cars-but-the-difference-is-she-doesn-t-have-20-years-of/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Background](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/background/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9df/tim-allen-4974_background_my-wife-loves-cars-but-the-difference-is_131627.jpg) > [“One thing you'll never hear boys--or for that matter, men--saying is, "Charlie, that's a good-looking shirt. Kind of a fun thing. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/one-thing-you-ll-never-hear-boys-or-for-that-matter-men-saying-is/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Saying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/saying/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b60/tim-allen-4974_saying_one-thing-you-ll-never-hear-boys-or-for_2991892.jpg) > [Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/electricity-can-be-dangerous-my-nephew-tried-to-stick-a-penny-into-a/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Dangerous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dangerous/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/tim-allen-4974_dangerous_electricity-can-be-dangerous-my-nephew-t_744763.jpg) > [I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-even-in-relationships-but-now-my/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Existence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existence/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/tim-allen-4974_existence_i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-eve_818042.jpg) > [I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-either-or-either-socialism-or/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Best](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/best/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfe/tim-allen-4974_best_i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-eith_729867.jpg) > [Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think-they-hear-blah-blah-blah/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/tim-allen-4974_blah_dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think_1496116.jpg) > [Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besides-this-is-just-the/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Instruction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instruction/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/tim-allen-4974_instruction_real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besi_829340.jpg) > [When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-this-wonderful-presence-in/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef6/tim-allen-4974_father_when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-t_2101511.jpg) > [I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audience-but-when-it-s-one-on-one/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audienc_1411177.jpg) > [I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don't do any of that stuff, I just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bows-arrows-compasses-and/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/tim-allen-4974_animal_i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bow_1088447.jpg) > [ I think there's a percentage \[of the audience\] that don't realize, that don't know that \[standup\] is how everything began. We planned… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audience-that-don-t-realize-that/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6d/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audi_2856365.jpg) > [Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just-call-it-the-bottom-number-the/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Arnold schwarzenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/arnold-schwarzenegger/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/tim-allen-4974_arnold-schwarzenegge_now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just_2651878.jpg) > [The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-really-vehemently-protect-the/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Environment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/environment/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86e/tim-allen-4974_environment_the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-r_1093011.jpg) > [When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard-that-it-took-my-breath-away/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Breaths](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breaths/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/tim-allen-4974_breaths_when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard_471874.jpg) > [I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, "Dad's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as-a-parent-because-they/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Age](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/tim-allen-4974_age_i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as_531370.jpg) > [Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they-don-t-want-to-do-so-that/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Dream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dream/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25e/tim-allen-4974_dream_men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they_2239540.jpg) > [Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-we-have-to-i-m-an-algebra-liar/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Algebra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/algebra/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/tim-allen-4974_algebra_men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-w_2969782.jpg) > [Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-us-alone-for-any-length-of/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blow/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/tim-allen-4974_blow_boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-u_1968442.jpg) > [Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-try-to-untighten-the-nut-with/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61f/tim-allen-4974_firsts_use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-tr_829266.jpg) > [My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-would-ve-stepped-in-six-kids/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Boys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boys/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/636/tim-allen-4974_boys_my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-wo_1238811.jpg) > [There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a-groom-turns-to-see-his-bride/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Beautiful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beautiful/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99d/tim-allen-4974_beautiful_there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a_697792.jpg) > [Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with ear end. Never. Avoid the area altogether.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-never-use-the-words-large-or-size/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Rear End](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rear-end-773293/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/tim-allen-4974_rear-end_never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-neve_791403.jpg) > [Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/playing-golf-is-like-going-to-a-strip-joint-after-18-holes-you-are/) [Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/) [Balls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/balls/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4d/tim-allen-4974_balls_playing-golf-is-like-going-to-a-strip-jo_1249460.jpg) ## Tim Allen by topic [Men (16)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/tim-allen/) [Ifs (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/tim-allen/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/#itemlist", "name": "Tim Allen Quotes", "numberOfItems": 24, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. 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Kind of a fun thing. And those trousers make your ass look nice. 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Mostly, that's a good thing.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-even-in-relationships-but-now-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/tim-allen-4974_existence_i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-eve_818042.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/tim-allen-4974_existence_i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-eve_818042.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/841/tim-allen-4974_existence_i-used-to-live-an-isolated-existence-eve_818042.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-either-or-either-socialism-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfe/tim-allen-4974_best_i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-eith_729867.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfe/tim-allen-4974_best_i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-eith_729867.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfe/tim-allen-4974_best_i-don-t-understand-why-it-has-to-be-eith_729867.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think-they-hear-blah-blah-blah/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/tim-allen-4974_blah_dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think_1496116.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/tim-allen-4974_blah_dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think_1496116.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cc/tim-allen-4974_blah_dog-s-listen-or-appear-to-listen-i-think_1496116.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Dog's listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besides-this-is-just-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/tim-allen-4974_instruction_real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besi_829340.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/tim-allen-4974_instruction_real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besi_829340.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/tim-allen-4974_instruction_real-men-don-t-use-instructions-son-besi_829340.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-this-wonderful-presence-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef6/tim-allen-4974_father_when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-t_2101511.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef6/tim-allen-4974_father_when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-t_2101511.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef6/tim-allen-4974_father_when-you-re-6-or-7-your-father-becomes-t_2101511.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you're 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they're going to want something from me I can't give, or they're going to hurt me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audience-but-when-it-s-one-on-one/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audienc_1411177.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audienc_1411177.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-had-a-very-easy-time-loving-an-audienc_1411177.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it's one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don't do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn't like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I'd probably eat vegetables.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bows-arrows-compasses-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/tim-allen-4974_animal_i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bow_1088447.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/tim-allen-4974_animal_i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bow_1088447.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/tim-allen-4974_animal_i-grew-up-around-hunters-i-love-guns-bow_1088447.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don't do any of that stuff…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It's more of a ... it's not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audience-that-don-t-realize-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6d/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audi_2856365.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6d/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audi_2856365.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6d/tim-allen-4974_audience_i-think-there-s-a-percentage-of-the-audi_2856365.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think there's a percentage [of the audience] that don't realize, that don't know that [standup] is how…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie doesn't it? [impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I am the Denominator. I'll give your leg a compound fraction!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just-call-it-the-bottom-number-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/tim-allen-4974_arnold-schwarzenegge_now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just_2651878.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/tim-allen-4974_arnold-schwarzenegge_now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just_2651878.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/tim-allen-4974_arnold-schwarzenegge_now-the-denominator-why-don-t-they-just_2651878.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Now the denominator ... why don't they just call it the bottom number? The denominator ... that sounds like…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that live on ranches tend to want to keep it that way, and I've always loved that about the hunters that I've known. They eat what they kill, and they carry it out. They don't shoot for sport.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-really-vehemently-protect-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86e/tim-allen-4974_environment_the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-r_1093011.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86e/tim-allen-4974_environment_the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-r_1093011.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86e/tim-allen-4974_environment_the-people-that-hunt-are-the-guys-that-r_1093011.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The people that hunt are the guys that really vehemently protect the environment. You find that people that…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine - this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard-that-it-took-my-breath-away/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/tim-allen-4974_breaths_when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard_471874.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/tim-allen-4974_breaths_when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard_471874.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0e/tim-allen-4974_breaths_when-i-went-to-jail-reality-hit-so-hard_471874.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, \"Dad's an idiot,\" which lasted a little longer than I'd like.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as-a-parent-because-they/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/tim-allen-4974_age_i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as_531370.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/tim-allen-4974_age_i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as_531370.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/tim-allen-4974_age_i-love-women-i-actually-prefer-girls-as_531370.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they-don-t-want-to-do-so-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25e/tim-allen-4974_dream_men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they_2239540.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25e/tim-allen-4974_dream_men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they_2239540.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25e/tim-allen-4974_dream_men-often-do-things-for-women-that-they_2239540.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Men often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-we-have-to-i-m-an-algebra-liar/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/tim-allen-4974_algebra_men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-w_2969782.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/tim-allen-4974_algebra_men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-w_2969782.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/tim-allen-4974_algebra_men-are-liars-we-ll-lie-about-lying-if-w_2969782.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-us-alone-for-any-length-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/tim-allen-4974_blow_boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-u_1968442.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/tim-allen-4974_blow_boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-u_1968442.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/tim-allen-4974_blow_boys-can-be-disgusting-you-can-t-leave-u_1968442.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-try-to-untighten-the-nut-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61f/tim-allen-4974_firsts_use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-tr_829266.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61f/tim-allen-4974_firsts_use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-tr_829266.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61f/tim-allen-4974_firsts_use-a-screwdriver-instead-of-a-hammer-tr_829266.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 21, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-would-ve-stepped-in-six-kids/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/636/tim-allen-4974_boys_my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-wo_1238811.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/636/tim-allen-4974_boys_my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-wo_1238811.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/636/tim-allen-4974_boys_my-stepfather-stepped-in-where-no-man-wo_1238811.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My stepfather stepped in where no man would've stepped in - six kids, five of them boys - and that's heroic.” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 22, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a-groom-turns-to-see-his-bride/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99d/tim-allen-4974_beautiful_there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a_697792.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99d/tim-allen-4974_beautiful_there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a_697792.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99d/tim-allen-4974_beautiful_there-is-no-greater-feeling-than-when-a_697792.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she…” — Tim Allen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 23, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with ear end. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Allen" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-never-use-the-words-large-or-size/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/tim-allen-4974_rear-end_never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-neve_791403.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/tim-allen-4974_rear-end_never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-neve_791403.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/375/tim-allen-4974_rear-end_never-comment-on-a-woman-s-rear-end-neve_791403.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words large or size with ear end. Never. 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