---
title: "241 T.J. Klune Quotes - Famous Novelist"
description: "T.J. Klune quotes mix comedy, mindfulness, and deep friendship."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/t-j-klune-1425_quote_be-gone-you-he-bitch-1636634_1636634.jpg"
---

# T.J. Klune

(1982)   Novelist

 **241** quotes in **289** categories

T.J. Klune blends humor with heartfelt moments. He jokes about a loose‑as‑wind backside, then urges staying present with simple breaths. He also highlights how standing up for others can spark courage, and how love for a friend can feel like a constant, enough presence.

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T.J. Klune is a novelist.

## Quick Facts About T.J. Klune

Born May 20, 1982

Profession Novelist

## About T.J. Klune

Travis John Klune is an American author who writes fantasy and romantic stories that feature gay and LGBTQ+ characters. His novel The House in the Cerulean Sea became a New York Times bestseller and won the 2021 Alex and Mythopoeic Awards. He also received the Lambda Literary Award for Gay Romance.

##  Quotes by T.J. Klune

> [“Be gone, you he-bitch!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/be-gone-you-he-bitch/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/t-j-klune-1425_quote_be-gone-you-he-bitch-1636634_1636634.jpg)

> [“Dammit. I hate it when my crazy is right.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/dammit-i-hate-it-when-my-crazy-is-right/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20d/t-j-klune-1425_crazy_dammit-i-hate-it-when-my-crazy-is-right_460840.jpg)

> [“I’m not jealous,” he said jealously.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/i-m-not-jealous-he-said-jealously/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f1/t-j-klune-1425_jealousy_i-m-not-jealous-he-said-jealously-135511_1355113.jpg)

> [“The fight for you was all I've ever known.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/the-fight-for-you-was-all-i-ve-ever-known/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Fight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fight/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/t-j-klune-1425_quote_the-fight-for-you-was-all-i-ve-ever-know_1146742.jpg)

> [“Nothing's too fast if it means forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/nothing-s-too-fast-if-it-means-forever/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67f/t-j-klune-1425_quote_nothing-s-too-fast-if-it-means-forever-1_1560448.jpg)

> [“Don’t be difficult, Bear. It’s unattractive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/don-t-be-difficult-bear-it-s-unattractive/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56e/t-j-klune-1425_quote_don-t-be-difficult-bear-it-s-unattractiv_1136541.jpg)

> [“It’s Helena Handbasket.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/it-s-helena-handbasket/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Helena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/helena/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/388/t-j-klune-1425_quote_it-s-helena-handbasket-1635937_1635937.jpg)

> [“Sad fags are boring fags.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/sad-fags-are-boring-fags/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/989/t-j-klune-1425_boring_sad-fags-are-boring-fags-3014228_3014228.jpg)

> [“Kid, you may be the smartest person alive, but a master of subtlety you are not.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/kid-you-may-be-the-smartest-person-alive-but-a-master-of-subtlety-you/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96e/t-j-klune-1425_smartest_kid-you-may-be-the-smartest-person-alive_3037527.jpg)

> [“and every time I saw him in the hall, I couldn’t help but think, There goes Captain Hook,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/and-every-time-i-saw-him-in-the-hall-i-couldn-t-help-but-think-there/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ca/t-j-klune-1425_hook_and-every-time-i-saw-him-in-the-hall-i-c_221802.jpg)

> [“There's nothing like being admonished by a nine-year-old ecoterrorist in training.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/there-s-nothing-like-being-admonished-by-a-nine-year-old-ecoterrorist/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Fitness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fitness/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/t-j-klune-1425_fitness_there-s-nothing-like-being-admonished-by_1304647.jpg)

> [“You've broken my heart, but it was mine to give.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/you-ve-broken-my-heart-but-it-was-mine-to-give/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39c/t-j-klune-1425_broken-my-heart_you-ve-broken-my-heart-but-it-was-mine-t_2110876.jpg)

> [“Life isn’t defined by how long it is. It’s the moments you have while you’re alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/life-isn-t-defined-by-how-long-it-is-it-s-the-moments-you-have-while/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b75/t-j-klune-1425_life_life-isn-t-defined-by-how-long-it-is-it_15945.jpg)

> [“And Joe. Joe sang the loudest of all. He said, "You belong to me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/and-joe-joe-sang-the-loudest-of-all-he-said-you-belong-to-me/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Belonging-to-someone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging-to-someone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/192/t-j-klune-1425_belonging-to-someone_and-joe-joe-sang-the-loudest-of-all-he-s_3012472.jpg)

> [“You can’t hide your head in the sand without expecting your ass to get burned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/you-can-t-hide-your-head-in-the-sand-without-expecting-your-ass-to/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/466/t-j-klune-1425_quote_you-can-t-hide-your-head-in-the-sand-wit_1920698.jpg)

> [“It’s like something so lovely can’t just be lovely. It also has to be harsh and corroding.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/it-s-like-something-so-lovely-can-t-just-be-lovely-it-also-has-to-be/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/815/t-j-klune-1425_quote_it-s-like-something-so-lovely-can-t-just_1926196.jpg)

> [“I groaned. “You set me up!” “And it was surprisingly easy.” Dad laughed. “Geez. I don’t know how you weren’t kidnapped as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/i-groaned-you-set-me-up-and-it-was-surprisingly-easy-dad-laughed-geez/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/t-j-klune-1425_paul-auster_i-groaned-you-set-me-up-and-it-was-surpr_1651.jpg)

> [“It’s not like I tease people with the things I’m doing,” the Kid continues. He deepens his voice. “Coming soon, I may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/it-s-not-like-i-tease-people-with-the-things-i-m-doing-the-kid/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0eb/t-j-klune-1425_boatk_it-s-not-like-i-tease-people-with-the-th_1483954.jpg)

> [“Normal Seven went to Heaven where he immediately tripped and fell! God said, ‘Gee you’re too Normal for me’ and sent him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/normal-seven-went-to-heaven-where-he-immediately-tripped-and-fell-god/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17f/t-j-klune-1425_hell_normal-seven-went-to-heaven-where-he-imm_647333.jpg)

> [“Es cor meum,' he murmured, his eyes dancing over my face. Though I'd never heard the phrase, I responded: 'Ut tu meus.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/es-cor-meum-he-murmured-his-eyes-dancing-over-my-face-though-i-d/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/700/t-j-klune-1425_gaze_es-cor-meum-he-murmured-his-eyes-dancing_3008410.jpg)

> [“He couldn't believe it was only Wednesday. And it was made worse when he realized it was actually Tuesday.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/he-couldn-t-believe-it-was-only-wednesday-and-it-was-made-worse-when/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be2/t-j-klune-1425_humor_he-couldn-t-believe-it-was-only-wednesda_3233713.jpg)

> [“It’s nice, but it’s also getting to the point where if they keep swooning into each other’s eyes, we’re all going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/it-s-nice-but-it-s-also-getting-to-the-point-where-if-they-keep/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Rainbows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rainbows/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b3/t-j-klune-1425_rainbows_it-s-nice-but-it-s-also-getting-to-the-p_1017427.jpg)

> [“Sometimes I float along the river For its surface I am bound And there are times stones done fill my pockets And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/sometimes-i-float-along-the-river-for-its-surface-i-am-bound-and/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/433/t-j-klune-1425_time_sometimes-i-float-along-the-river-for-it_1485924.jpg)

> [“I said, “I have bad dreams too. But then I remember I’m awake and that the bad dreams can’t follow me when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/i-said-i-have-bad-dreams-too-but-then-i-remember-i-m-awake-and-that/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Bad dream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-dream/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/072/t-j-klune-1425_bad-dream_i-said-i-have-bad-dreams-too-but-then-i_2325371.jpg)

> [“And then Gary choked and said, “Hot motherfucking damn, that is some good shit right there.” So I turned around. And immediately…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/and-then-gary-choked-and-said-hot-motherfucking-damn-that-is-some/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/136/t-j-klune-1425_said-hot_and-then-gary-choked-and-said-hot-mother_2420173.jpg)

> [“I want to put my face on his face.” The hornless gay unicorn named Gary said, “Um. What did you say?” Fifteen-year-old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/i-want-to-put-my-face-on-his-face-the-hornless-gay-unicorn-named-gary/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94d/t-j-klune-1425_want-face_i-want-to-put-my-face-on-his-face-the-ho_2733934.jpg)

> [“But it's weird, right? It's like we're a gay bug zapper and all the gays keep flocking to us because they think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/but-it-s-weird-right-it-s-like-we-re-a-gay-bug-zapper-and-all-the/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Gays](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gays/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc6/t-j-klune-1425_who-we-are_but-it-s-weird-right-it-s-like-we-re-a-g_960722.jpg)

> [“We made it this far and we’re alive, aren’t we? There were times I didn’t think we’d be able to say that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/we-made-it-this-far-and-we-re-alive-aren-t-we-there-were-times-i-didn/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Being alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-alive/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/475/t-j-klune-1425_being-alive_we-made-it-this-far-and-we-re-alive-aren_479724.jpg)

> [“And I’ve been waiting,” Joe said. “For him to look at me like I looked at him. And he finally did. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/and-i-ve-been-waiting-joe-said-for-him-to-look-at-me-like-i-looked-at/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b06/t-j-klune-1425_ve-waiting_and-i-ve-been-waiting-joe-said-for-him-t_2852821.jpg)

> [“But Bear said I shouldn’t talk to strangers because they would be scared of me. I always thought I was supposed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/but-bear-said-i-shouldn-t-talk-to-strangers-because-they-would-be/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/t-j-klune-1425_boatk-short_but-bear-said-i-shouldn-t-talk-to-strang_3205585.jpg)

> [“The Kid told me that he thought gay people were supposed to be classy, but then he looked me up and down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/the-kid-told-me-that-he-thought-gay-people-were-supposed-to-be-classy/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Gay people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gay-people/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d10/t-j-klune-1425_gay-people_the-kid-told-me-that-he-thought-gay-peop_2535013.jpg)

> [“He smiled at me, and it was a thing of dark malevolence. “It means,” he said, “that we can double date. Just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/he-smiled-at-me-and-it-was-a-thing-of-dark-malevolence-it-means-he/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e00/t-j-klune-1425_smiled_he-smiled-at-me-and-it-was-a-thing-of-da_2943541.jpg)

> [“He turned and snarled at me, eyes blazing. “Eep!” I said, because even though it was scary, it was still a scary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/he-turned-and-snarled-at-me-eyes-blazing-eep-i-said-because-even/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Fall in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-in-love/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f39/t-j-klune-1425_fall-in-love_he-turned-and-snarled-at-me-eyes-blazing_1241025.jpg)

> [“It’s not destiny, Ox. You’re not bound by this. Not yet. There’s a choice. There is always a choice. My wolf chose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/it-s-not-destiny-ox-you-re-not-bound-by-this-not-yet-there-s-a-choice/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Destiny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/destiny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a80/t-j-klune-1425_destiny_it-s-not-destiny-ox-you-re-not-bound-by_1755185.jpg)

> [“I told him God didn’t invent grocery stores. He told me that I had no proof of this, and wouldn’t I feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/i-told-him-god-didn-t-invent-grocery-stores-he-told-me-that-i-had-no/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Body of christ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body-of-christ/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f0/t-j-klune-1425_body-of-christ_i-told-him-god-didn-t-invent-grocery-sto_2338151.jpg)

> [“Heyyy,” I said with a wave. “What. Is. Up .” “ Hey , he says,” Gary snapped, flipping his mane prettily. “Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/heyyy-i-said-with-a-wave-what-is-up-hey-he-says-gary-snapped-flipping/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/562/t-j-klune-1425_attractive-man_heyyy-i-said-with-a-wave-what-is-up-hey_2777927.jpg)

> [“And I wished I could believe him. I wished with all that I had. And when you're eleven, you're on the cusp…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/and-i-wished-i-could-believe-him-i-wished-with-all-that-i-had-and/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/586/t-j-klune-1425_hard-upbringing_and-i-wished-i-could-believe-him-i-wishe_61058.jpg)

> [“Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex. This proceeded to lead up on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/ty-grabbed-my-phone-and-threatened-to-tell-otter-that-i-liked-being/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d64/t-j-klune-1425_bdsm_ty-grabbed-my-phone-and-threatened-to-te_263992.jpg)

> [“He shrugged. “Yeah, but I like riding my bike. It helps with the ozone… and stuff.” “You’re trying to avoid leaving a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/he-shrugged-yeah-but-i-like-riding-my-bike-it-helps-with-the-ozone/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Carbon footprint](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/carbon-footprint/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f73/t-j-klune-1425_carbon-footprint_he-shrugged-yeah-but-i-like-riding-my-bi_262322.jpg)

> [“If you're responsible enough to become a parent, then you should be responsible enough to accept your kid no matter how they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-klune/if-you-re-responsible-enough-to-become-a-parent-then-you-should-be/)

[T.J. Klune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-klune/)

[Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/427/t-j-klune-1425_parenting_if-you-re-responsible-enough-to-become-a_1807083.jpg)

## T.J. Klune by topic

[Humor (24)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/t-j-klune/) [Time (20)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/t-j-klune/) [Love (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/t-j-klune/) [Life (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/t-j-klune/) [Emotional-moment (11)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-moment/t-j-klune/)

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                        "text": "“But it's weird, right? It's like we're a gay bug zapper and all the gays keep flocking to us because they think we're bright and shiny, but all I want to do is electrocute most of them because they annoy the crap out of me with their high-pitched whining.”",
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                        "text": "“And I’ve been waiting,” Joe said. “For him to look at me like I looked at him. And he finally did. He finally did . And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it stays like that. Because I want him for always.”",
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                        "text": "“But Bear said I shouldn’t talk to strangers because they would be scared of me. I always thought I was supposed to be afraid of them, but Bear said I would just end up talking them to death and that any nefarious purpose they might have had would become moot. When Bear McKenna accuses you of talking too much, you know you have a problem”",
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                        "text": "“He smiled at me, and it was a thing of dark malevolence. “It means,” he said, “that we can double date. Just the four of us. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” And I thought there was a distinct possibility that I would rather be waterboarded. With bleach. On my birthday. In Kentucky. “Great,” I said. “Super great. Like, the greatest idea you’ve ever had.”",
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                        "text": "“He turned and snarled at me, eyes blazing. “Eep!” I said, because even though it was scary, it was still a scary unicorn , and I couldn’t help but fall in love just a little bit more. “If you ever lock yourself in a room like a spoiled brat again, I will track down my horn, go on a quest to get said horn, defeat whatever creature has the horn, restore it to its rightful place atop my head, come back to the City of Lockes, march in a parade in my honor, and then come up to your room and gore you to death. Do you understand?” “Your eyelashes are made of stars,” I whispered reverently. “I know,” he hissed angrily. “It’s because I’m beautiful. Now are we clear?”",
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                        "text": "“It’s not destiny, Ox. You’re not bound by this. Not yet. There’s a choice. There is always a choice. My wolf chose you. I chose you. And if you don’t choose me, then that’s your choice and I will walk out of here knowing you got to choose your own path. But I swear to god, if you choose me, I will make sure that you know the weight of your worth every day for the rest of our lives because that’s what this is. I am going to be a fucking Alpha one day, and there is no one I’d rather have by my side than you. It’s you, Ox. For me, it’s always been you.”",
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                        "text": "“I told him God didn’t invent grocery stores. He told me that I had no proof of this, and wouldn’t I feel stupid when I died and went to heaven and saw God’s Food Mart? I told him that was a dumb name for a grocery store. He told me that I couldn’t do any better. I told him God’s grocery store was named God’s Amazing Food Emporium and that they had weekly specials on the Body Of Christ Sourdough bread loaves. He told me I was sacrilegious. I told him we weren’t any kind of religious.”",
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                        "text": "“Heyyy,” I said with a wave. “What. Is. Up .” “ Hey , he says,” Gary snapped, flipping his mane prettily. “Can you believe this? You raise a child most of his life, watch him go through painful years of puberty to become a reasonably attractive man, only to find him negotiating kink contracts with a leather Dom and saying hey .” He sniffled. “I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life.” Tiggy frowned. “Sam a pain slut?” “I highly doubt that, kitten. You know how he gets when he stubs a toe. He doesn’t pop a boner, that’s for sure.” “Do I even want to know what you’re doing?” the knight asked, cocking a devastatingly unfair eyebrow.”",
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                        "text": "“And I wished I could believe him. I wished with all that I had. And when you're eleven, you're on the cusp between still believing wishing worked if you wanted something hard enough and understanding the world is teeth and sharp edges. I wished. I did. I promise you with all that I have that I did. But I knew the teeth. The sharp edges. And they were bigger than wishing. I was only eleven, but I was the product of my upbringing too. Maybe that's why I was able to be the one to leave. Maybe I'd been looking for a reason and latched on to the first one that came, no matter how hard it was. If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that it's easier to leave someone before they leave you. Because eventually, everyone leaves. It's inevitable.”",
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                        "text": "“Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex. This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. He said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to explain S & M and bondage to my little brother, who was persistent on the topic, and who kept staring at me with mounting horror when I finally /did/ explain, and I realized I had maybe gone too far, and we had to spend the next five minutes swearing to God that I had never nor would I ever attempt to do anything like that. He might now be the only nine-year-old who has heard the terms \"cock ring\" and \"fisting\". My parenting skills are unparalleled.”",
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                        "text": "“He shrugged. “Yeah, but I like riding my bike. It helps with the ozone… and stuff.” “You’re trying to avoid leaving a carbon footprint? And here I thoughtbicycles were just for tree-hugging hippie heterosexuals.” He eyed me seriously. “We all have to do our part to help avoid nocturnal emissions. The planet needs us.” I stared at him. “The planet needs us to avoid nocturnal emissions?” He nodded. “Nocturnal emissions are the number one cause for the hole in the ozone.”",
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                        "text": "“If you're responsible enough to become a parent, then you should be responsible enough to accept your kid no matter how they turn out. It doesn't matter if they're disabled or gay or not as smart as others or green or black or blue or whatever the hell they turn out to be. You have them, you love them. Always. Being a parent isn't about getting to pick and choose what you want you kid to be. Being a parent means protecting your kid from anything that could ever harm him. Being a parent means you shelter, but you also make them stronger so one day they can stand on their own.”",
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