---
title: "Best Stacey Ballis Quotes"
description: "Stacey Ballis has 99 quotes on SMS4Smile. Browse their most insightful sayings, across 406 categories."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-stacey-ballis-6284.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-stacey-ballis-6284.jpg)

# Stacey Ballis

 **99** quotes in **406** categories

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##  Quotes by Stacey Ballis · Page 2

> [“Look, Jenna, it isn't like Wayne is perfect. Our crew is a bunch of overgrown misfit children. Wayne had it the worst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/look-jenna-it-isn-t-like-wayne-is-perfect-our-crew-is-a-bunch-of/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4c/stacey-ballis-6284_children_look-jenna-it-isn-t-like-wayne-is-perfec_1406206.jpg)

> [“Whether you're a bride or a birthday boy, your options are much the same. Cake comes in chocolate, yellow, or white. Frosting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/whether-you-re-a-bride-or-a-birthday-boy-your-options-are-much-the/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bakery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bakery/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ab/stacey-ballis-6284_bakery_whether-you-re-a-bride-or-a-birthday-boy_2806284.jpg)

> [“Relax, princess. If your prince arrives, I'll vacate. Just keeping you company. Besides, he should know better than to leave a beautiful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/relax-princess-if-your-prince-arrives-i-ll-vacate-just-keeping-you/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Apricot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apricot/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e05/stacey-ballis-6284_apricot_relax-princess-if-your-prince-arrives-i_214723.jpg)

> [“So," he explains. "Take the piece of bread, dip it in the olive oil and then in the spice and nut mix,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/so-he-explains-take-the-piece-of-bread-dip-it-in-the-olive-oil-and/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Appetizer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/appetizer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff4/stacey-ballis-6284_appetizer_so-he-explains-take-the-piece-of-bread-d_515209.jpg)

> [“Your body will always tell you what you need. If you crave sweet things, your energy is flagging. If it's meat you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/your-body-will-always-tell-you-what-you-need-if-you-crave-sweet/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Advice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/advice/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/403/stacey-ballis-6284_advice_your-body-will-always-tell-you-what-you_3008745.jpg)

> [“I wander back out, and find Patrick doing the unthinkable. He is cooking. There are two placemats on the island, napkins and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-wander-back-out-and-find-patrick-doing-the-unthinkable-he-is/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cooked](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cooked/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06f/stacey-ballis-6284_cooking_i-wander-back-out-and-find-patrick-doing_526286.jpg)

> [“I begin to describe a three-tier cake. The bottom tier would be a deep, dark devil's food cake filled with thick chocolate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-begin-to-describe-a-three-tier-cake-the-bottom-tier-would-be-a-deep/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cake/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1f/stacey-ballis-6284_chocolate_i-begin-to-describe-a-three-tier-cake-th_1269133.jpg)

> [“Time to cut the cake, newlyweds." Caroline ushers us over to the sweet little two-tier cake, round and covered in white fondant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/time-to-cut-the-cake-newlyweds-caroline-ushers-us-over-to-the-sweet/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cake/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2a/stacey-ballis-6284_anneke-and-jag_time-to-cut-the-cake-newlyweds-caroline_1878361.jpg)

> [“Three square tiers of hazelnut cake filled with caramel mousse and sliced poached pears, sealed with vanilla buttercream scented with pear eau-de-vie.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/three-square-tiers-of-hazelnut-cake-filled-with-caramel-mousse-and/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bow tie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bow-tie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b16/stacey-ballis-6284_bow-tie_three-square-tiers-of-hazelnut-cake-fill_3205434.jpg)

> [“The next forty minutes are a festival of soul eating. I know many immigrant families incorporate their traditional dishes into the Thanksgiving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/the-next-forty-minutes-are-a-festival-of-soul-eating-i-know-many/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Apple pie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apple-pie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/288/stacey-ballis-6284_apple-pie_the-next-forty-minutes-are-a-festival-of_575313.jpg)

> [“Over the years I've done everything from small organization units in condo closets with sliding doors, to one massive one-thousand-square-foot duplex closet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/over-the-years-i-ve-done-everything-from-small-organization-units-in/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Anneke-stroudt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anneke-stroudt-8991/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/stacey-ballis-6284_anneke-stroudt_over-the-years-i-ve-done-everything-from_723197.jpg)

> [“I feed Volnay, who eats in her unusual way, delicately removing one piece of kibble at a time from her bowl, placing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-feed-volnay-who-eats-in-her-unusual-way-delicately-removing-one/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Dining room](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dining-room/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b18/stacey-ballis-6284_dining-room_i-feed-volnay-who-eats-in-her-unusual-wa_1379471.jpg)

> [“Andrea is coming to pick me up in about thirty minutes to head to her folks' house for Thanksgiving. I've got buttery…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/andrea-is-coming-to-pick-me-up-in-about-thirty-minutes-to-head-to-her/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Apple pie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apple-pie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21e/stacey-ballis-6284_apple-pie_andrea-is-coming-to-pick-me-up-in-about_2086135.jpg)

> [“What is it?" "It's a Thermomix." "That crazy cooking-blender thing you were telling me about?" "The very one." I've been coveting this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/what-is-it-it-s-a-thermomix-that-crazy-cooking-blender-thing-you-were/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Expensive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expensive/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/stacey-ballis-6284_expensive_what-is-it-it-s-a-thermomix-that-crazy-c_1433232.jpg)

> [“RJ gets to work in the kitchen on the dinner he is preparing, allowing me to sous chef. He seasons duck breasts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/rj-gets-to-work-in-the-kitchen-on-the-dinner-he-is-preparing-allowing/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Alana-and-rj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alana-and-rj-5533/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stacey-ballis-6284_alana-and-rj_rj-gets-to-work-in-the-kitchen-on-the-di_998809.jpg)

> [“My daughters-in-law, you know..." she shrugs her rounded shoulders resignedly. "They are such sweet girls, good mothers, kind to me..." "And such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/my-daughters-in-law-you-know-she-shrugs-her-rounded-shoulders/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Best friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/best-friends/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d96/stacey-ballis-6284_bad-cooks_my-daughters-in-law-you-know-she-shrugs_551595.jpg)

> [“But every once in a great while, the pull of her heritage would hit her, and Grand-mere would cook something real. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/but-every-once-in-a-great-while-the-pull-of-her-heritage-would-hit/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Anneke-stroudt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anneke-stroudt-8991/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/368/stacey-ballis-6284_anneke-stroudt_but-every-once-in-a-great-while-the-pull_3064193.jpg)

> [“Caroline has laid out a beautiful spread, which is a combination of some of my favorite things that she has cooked, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/caroline-has-laid-out-a-beautiful-spread-which-is-a-combination-of/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Around the world](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/around-the-world/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e83/stacey-ballis-6284_around-the-world_caroline-has-laid-out-a-beautiful-spread_708300.jpg)

> [“Lois and Eloise and Benji have been cooking from the book all week in preparation, making everything from homemade marshmallows and chewy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/lois-and-eloise-and-benji-have-been-cooking-from-the-book-all-week-in/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Baked goods](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/baked-goods/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/268/stacey-ballis-6284_baked-goods_lois-and-eloise-and-benji-have-been-cook_2699945.jpg)

> [“Yep," I say, cutting a large slice of the Dutch Baby pancake and sliding it onto her plate along with two pieces…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/yep-i-say-cutting-a-large-slice-of-the-dutch-baby-pancake-and-sliding/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bacon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bacon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/stacey-ballis-6284_bacon_yep-i-say-cutting-a-large-slice-of-the-d_351688.jpg)

> [“I'm going to explode," my dad says, rubbing his stomach gleefully. He's just put down a massive sandwich piled with corned beef,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-m-going-to-explode-my-dad-says-rubbing-his-stomach-gleefully-he-s/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Chopped liver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chopped-liver/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/stacey-ballis-6284_chopped-liver_i-m-going-to-explode-my-dad-says-rubbing_200737.jpg)

> [“Brian orders us both Grandpa's Turtle Sundaes, a classic with vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, caramel sauce, whipped cream and nuts, topped…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/brian-orders-us-both-grandpa-s-turtle-sundaes-a-classic-with-vanilla/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Flavors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flavors/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b02/stacey-ballis-6284_flavors_brian-orders-us-both-grandpa-s-turtle-su_722062.jpg)

> [“Thursday night is pasta night," I say. "I left you guys a lasagna Bolognese, garlic knots, and roasted broccolini. Ian is going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/thursday-night-is-pasta-night-i-say-i-left-you-guys-a-lasagna/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Caesar salad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caesar-salad/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/stacey-ballis-6284_caesar-salad_thursday-night-is-pasta-night-i-say-i-le_1242030.jpg)

> [“I've been developing killer updated versions of things like Black Forest cake, now with bittersweet devil's food cake, a dried-cherry conserve, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-ve-been-developing-killer-updated-versions-of-things-like-black/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cakes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b08/stacey-ballis-6284_black-forest_i-ve-been-developing-killer-updated-vers_1327635.jpg)

> [“This year I am doing praline pecans, an old favorite family favorite, easy and addictive. And a festive holiday dark chocolate loaf…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/this-year-i-am-doing-praline-pecans-an-old-favorite-family-favorite/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Baking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/baking/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/stacey-ballis-6284_baking_this-year-i-am-doing-praline-pecans-an-o_333424.jpg)

> [“I love the caraway seeds in the classic rye bread, but I wonder if the rich dough might not also hold up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-love-the-caraway-seeds-in-the-classic-rye-bread-but-i-wonder-if-the/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bread](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bread/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/492/stacey-ballis-6284_bread_i-love-the-caraway-seeds-in-the-classic_853946.jpg)

> [“We wanted to do French toast for the brunch, but acknowledged that it is a dangerous item for a special event where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/we-wanted-to-do-french-toast-for-the-brunch-but-acknowledged-that-it/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Alana-and-patrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alana-and-patrick-5532/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/577/stacey-ballis-6284_alana-and-patrick_we-wanted-to-do-french-toast-for-the-bru_1763651.jpg)

> [“Caroline made a steamed fig pudding with brandy hard sauce. Hedy and Jacob brought a platter of dense, moist gingerbread squares studded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/caroline-made-a-steamed-fig-pudding-with-brandy-hard-sauce-hedy-and/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Chocolate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chocolate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/48d/stacey-ballis-6284_chocolate_caroline-made-a-steamed-fig-pudding-with_1561343.jpg)

> [“EL Ideas- Chef Phillip Foss Valentine's Day Menu freeze pop- honeydew/truffle/bitters shake and fries- potato/vanilla/leek black cod- black rice/black garlic/black radish cauliflower-…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/el-ideas-chef-phillip-foss-valentine-s-day-menu-freeze-pop-honeydew/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cream cheese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cream-cheese/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/937/stacey-ballis-6284_cream-cheese_el-ideas-chef-phillip-foss-valentine-s-d_1561441.jpg)

> [“What do you want for lunch?" "Jag and I were talking about maybe needing a little Persian fix. What do you think?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/what-do-you-want-for-lunch-jag-and-i-were-talking-about-maybe-needing/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Cuisine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cuisine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/772/stacey-ballis-6284_cuisine_what-do-you-want-for-lunch-jag-and-i-wer_977120.jpg)

> [“The cake is pretty simple; they didn't want anything too fancy. Two tiers. The bottom is the Frango mint tier from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/the-cake-is-pretty-simple-they-didn-t-want-anything-too-fancy-two/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Buttercream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buttercream-26046/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/stacey-ballis-6284_buttercream_the-cake-is-pretty-simple-they-didn-t-wa_378295.jpg)

> [“He comes over and lifts the foil off the pan. I can see that it is golden and crispy, and the scent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/he-comes-over-and-lifts-the-foil-off-the-pan-i-can-see-that-it-is/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bread pudding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bread-pudding/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c9/stacey-ballis-6284_bread-pudding_he-comes-over-and-lifts-the-foil-off-the_2506425.jpg)

> [“Being a compulsive overeater is no different from being an alcoholic or drug addict. The only difference is that you can avoid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/being-a-compulsive-overeater-is-no-different-from-being-an-alcoholic/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Addiction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/addiction/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/stacey-ballis-6284_addiction_being-a-compulsive-overeater-is-no-diffe_2612522.jpg)

> [“The nice thing about this menu is that it will keep fine for tomorrow. I decide to finish the potatoes, cutting the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/the-nice-thing-about-this-menu-is-that-it-will-keep-fine-for-tomorrow/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Food](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/food/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f6/stacey-ballis-6284_ingredients_the-nice-thing-about-this-menu-is-that-i_1934462.jpg)

> [“Elliot, that was amazing." The meal has been spectacular. We started with a salad of fennel, golden beets, and grapefruit. He did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/elliot-that-was-amazing-the-meal-has-been-spectacular-we-started-with/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Dinner-date](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dinner-date-47271/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4b/stacey-ballis-6284_dinner-date_elliot-that-was-amazing-the-meal-has-bee_1780375.jpg)

> [“So tonight we are just seven. Seven people, and twelve pounds of pork. I pick a piece of the insanely delicious crispy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/so-tonight-we-are-just-seven-seven-people-and-twelve-pounds-of-pork-i/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Best friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/best-friends/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/stacey-ballis-6284_best-friends_so-tonight-we-are-just-seven-seven-peopl_2014954.jpg)

> [“Liam's hash brown casserole can only be described as so over-the-top ridiculous I fear Paula Deen is sitting somewhere cackling about it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/liam-s-hash-brown-casserole-can-only-be-described-as-so-over-the-top/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Bacon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bacon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d5/stacey-ballis-6284_bacon_liam-s-hash-brown-casserole-can-only-be_2402798.jpg)

> [“Zucchini pasta with chicken and lemon," Melanie says. "I'm using whole-grain linguini, and the zucchini is shredded in long strips the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/zucchini-pasta-with-chicken-and-lemon-melanie-says-i-m-using-whole/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Food](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/food/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5f/stacey-ballis-6284_healthy-food_zucchini-pasta-with-chicken-and-lemon-me_879938.jpg)

> [“I hacked an old Crock-Pot and turned it into a sous vide machine, and did a turkey breast, and then seared the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/i-hacked-an-old-crock-pot-and-turned-it-into-a-sous-vide-machine-and/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Benji](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/benji-18425/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f2/stacey-ballis-6284_benji_i-hacked-an-old-crock-pot-and-turned-it_2099028.jpg)

> [“Making dinner for Wayne is either the easiest thing or the hardest thing on the planet, depending on how you look at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-ballis/making-dinner-for-wayne-is-either-the-easiest-thing-or-the-hardest/)

[Stacey Ballis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-ballis/)

[Apple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apple/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bce/stacey-ballis-6284_apple_making-dinner-for-wayne-is-either-the-ea_3047777.jpg)

## Stacey Ballis by topic

[Food (73)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/food/stacey-ballis/) [Ingredients (32)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ingredients/stacey-ballis/) [Flavors (21)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flavors/stacey-ballis/) [Jenna-stewart (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jenna-stewart/stacey-ballis/) [Desserts (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desserts/stacey-ballis/) [Cooking (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cooking/stacey-ballis/) [Cake (11)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cake/stacey-ballis/)

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                        "text": "“Look, Jenna, it isn't like Wayne is perfect. Our crew is a bunch of overgrown misfit children. Wayne had it the worst growing up, but we all had the unpopular weirdo freak thing in one way or another. I like to think that a combination of decent brains and a fairly good sense of humor kept us all from becoming tragic situations.\" \"You mean criminals and meth heads?\" Elliot laughs. \"Exactly. And at a certain level, I think we all cling to our weirdness because it insulates us from trying to fit in and failing.”",
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                        "text": "“Whether you're a bride or a birthday boy, your options are much the same. Cake comes in chocolate, yellow, or white. Frosting comes in chocolate or vanilla buttercream, or you can opt for whipped cream. Fillings are either chocolate or vanilla custard, fresh bananas, or strawberries or raspberries in season. For birthday cakes, you can have either flowers or balloons in your choice of colors. For wedding cakes, you can add either fondant or marzipan covering, or either smooth or basket-weave buttercream, in white or ivory, with either pearl-like dots or ribbony swags made of frosting, and fondant faux flowers are extra.”",
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                        "text": "“Relax, princess. If your prince arrives, I'll vacate. Just keeping you company. Besides, he should know better than to leave a beautiful girl waiting on him; someone else might swoop in and steal his prize.\" This man is insufferable. \"I'm neither a princess nor a prize, nor a girl if you want to be specific about it.\" \"I notice you didn't mind my calling you beautiful.\" The waitress comes over and asks what he would like. I begin to tell her he isn't staying, but he talks right over me. \"The three-wine flight and a slice of the chestnut cream cake, please.\" Damn his eyes! That was the dessert I was most interested in: layers of chestnut cream, apricot glaze, and dark chocolate ganache.”",
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                        "text": "“So,\" he explains. \"Take the piece of bread, dip it in the olive oil and then in the spice and nut mix, and then smear some of the spicy carrot dip on top.\" The appetizer is complicated to assemble, but absolutely delicious. The bread, a hearty baguette from La Boulangerie, is a chewy, crusty foil for the buttery oil, savory crunchy nut mixture, and sweet and spicy carrot puree. An explosion of flavor and texture. He also has some creamy local chèvre, and marinated olives.”",
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                        "text": "“Your body will always tell you what you need. If you crave sweet things, your energy is flagging. If it's meat you want, your iron is low. When you want potatoes above everything else, there is something not grounded with you. Whatever tricks your head many play on you, however fickle your heart, your body will tell you very specifically what it is you need, and it is up to you to listen.”",
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                        "text": "“I wander back out, and find Patrick doing the unthinkable. He is cooking. There are two placemats on the island, napkins and forks. He has found a dish of leftover pasta I made last night, linguine with chickpeas, pancetta, and toasted breadcrumbs, with torn basil leaves and lemon zest. He's put together a frittata, which he has cooked on one side, and is deftly flipping it over to cook the other side. On another burner, some of my marinara that I put up last summer simmers in a small saucepan. A pile of shaved Parmesan is on the cutting board, two plates sit at his elbow.”",
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                        "text": "“I begin to describe a three-tier cake. The bottom tier would be a deep, dark devil's food cake filled with thick chocolate custard. The middle tier would be a vanilla cake filled with a fluffy vanilla mousse and a layer of roasted strawberries. The top tier, designed to be removed whole and frozen for the first anniversary, would be one layer of chocolate cake and one of vanilla with a strawberry buttercream filling. The whole cake would be covered in a layer of vanilla buttercream, perfectly smoothed, and the tiers separated by a simple line of piped dots, looking like a string of pearls.”",
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                        "text": "“Time to cut the cake, newlyweds.\" Caroline ushers us over to the sweet little two-tier cake, round and covered in white fondant with what appear to be traditional henna tattoo patterns drawn on it in pale gold. We take the mother-of-pearl-handled knife, apparently the one Caroline and Carl used at their wedding, and, his hand on mine, cut a small slice. We feed each other a generous bite, marveling at the tender almond cake with the poached apricots and white chocolate mousse, light-as-air buttercream scented with vanilla and orange blossom water.”",
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                        "text": "“Three square tiers of hazelnut cake filled with caramel mousse and sliced poached pears, sealed with vanilla buttercream scented with pear eau-de-vie. It's covered in a smooth expanse of ivory fondant decorated with what appear to be natural branches of pale green dogwood but are actually gum paste and chocolate, and with almost-haphazard sheer spheres of silvery blown sugar, as if a child came by with a bottle of bubbles and they landed on the cake. On the top, in lieu of the traditional bride and groom, is a bottle of Dexter's favorite Riesling in a bow tie and a small three-tier traditional wedding cake sporting a veil, both made out of marzipan. It took me the better part of the last three weeks to make this cake. Not to mention the loaves of banana bread, the cellophane bags of pine nut shortbread cookies, and the little silver boxes of champagne truffles in the gift bags. And the vanilla buttermilk panna cottas we're serving with balsamic-macerated berries as the pre-dessert before the cake. And the hand-wrapped caramels and shards of toffee and dark-chocolate-covered candied ginger slices that will be served with the coffee.”",
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                        "text": "“The next forty minutes are a festival of soul eating. I know many immigrant families incorporate their traditional dishes into the Thanksgiving feast, but not my folks. Our menu is Norman Rockwell on crack. Turkey with gravy. Homemade cranberry relish and the jellied stuff from the can. Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole. Cornbread stuffing and buttery yeast rolls. The only nods to our heritage are mustard-seed pickled carrots and dill-cucumber salad, to have something cool and palate-cleansing on the plate. A crazy layered Jello-O dish, with six different colors in thin stripes, looking like vintage Bakelite. Jeff and the girls show up just in time for desserts... apple pie, pumpkin pie, pecan bars, cheesecake brownies, and Maria's flan.”",
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                        "text": "“Over the years I've done everything from small organization units in condo closets with sliding doors, to one massive one-thousand-square-foot duplex closet for a pamper socialite that included a wall of climate-controlled storage for her substantial fur collection, and no lie, a CIA-level fingerprint lock on the door. The only thing that was ever more fun was doing a panic room for a paranoid woman who had recently lost her husband. She wanted to be sure that if someone broke into her Gold Coast brownstone she could survive in comfort for at least a week. We referred to her as the Preppy Prepper, giving her a large panic room with en suite bathroom, which included a mini kitchen stocked with canned caviar and smoked oysters and splits of vintage champagne, completely upholstered in a huge-scale blowsy floral chintz.”",
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                        "text": "“I feed Volnay, who eats in her unusual way, delicately removing one piece of kibble at a time from her bowl, placing it on the little rug that serves as her dining room, and then eating it before going back in for a second piece of kibble. It takes her the better part of thirty minutes to finish her bowl. I'm sure if she had thumbs, she'd be patting her chin with a linen napkin after every morsel. When she finishes, she hits the water bowl. Silently. No one can figure out how she drinks, she sort of purses her lips and sucks, none of that slurping and splashing that accompany most dogs' drinking. She is a stealth drinker. When she finishes, she heads to her little bed in the corner of the kitchen to groom her fur a bit. Lovely girl.”",
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                        "text": "“Andrea is coming to pick me up in about thirty minutes to head to her folks' house for Thanksgiving. I've got buttery yeast rolls from Aimee's mom's old family recipe, my cranberry sauce with port and dried cherries, and a batch of spicy molasses cookies sandwiched with vanilla mascarpone frosting. I also have the makings for dried shisito peppers, which I will make there. Andrea's mom, Jasmin, is making turkey and ham, and braised broccoli and an apple pie, Andrea is doing a potato and celery root mash and a hilarious Jell-O mold that contains orange sherbet and canned mandarin oranges and mini marshmallows, and her dad, Gene, is making his mother's candied yams and sausage corn bread stuffing. Benji is cooking and serving most of the day at the group home where he grew up, and will come join us for dessert, bringing his chocolate pecan pie with bourbon whipped cream.”",
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                        "text": "“What is it?\" \"It's a Thermomix.\" \"That crazy cooking-blender thing you were telling me about?\" \"The very one.\" I've been coveting this piece of equipment ever since my last trip to Montreal when I found out that nearly every great restaurant there is using them. It is essentially a powerful blender that also heats, so it will cook your soup and then puree it. It can spin slow enough to make risotto or hollandaise, or fast enough to turn whole unpeeled apples into the smoothest most velvety applesauce you've ever tasted. They aren't for sale in stores or online; you have to go through a special independent contractor salesperson, and they don't sell them in the U.S. Also? They are fifteen hundred dollars, an expense that even I couldn't justify for a piece of kitchen equipment. \"I thought you can't get them here?\" \"You can't. He would have had to go through someone in Canada.\" \"Wow. That is pretty amazing.\" \"Yeah.”",
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                        "text": "“RJ gets to work in the kitchen on the dinner he is preparing, allowing me to sous chef. He seasons duck breasts with salt, pepper, coriander, and orange zest. Puts a pot of wild rice on to cook, asks me to top and tail some green beans. We open a bottle of Riesling, sipping while we cook, and I light a fire. The place gets cozy, full of delicious smells and the crackling fire. We ignore the dining table in favor of sitting on the floor in front of the fire, and tuck in. \"This is amazing,\" I tell him, blown away by the duck, perfectly medium-rare and succulent, with crispy, fully rendered skin. \"Really, honey, it couldn't be better.\" \"Thank you, baby. That's a major compliment. And I have to say, I love cooking with you.\" \"I love cooking with you.\" And I did. I never once felt like I wanted to jump in or make a change, or suggest a different choice. I followed him as I would have followed any chef, and the results of trusting him are completely delicious, literally and figuratively.”",
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                        "text": "“My daughters-in-law, you know...\" she shrugs her rounded shoulders resignedly. \"They are such sweet girls, good mothers, kind to me...\" \"And such bad cooks!\" we all say in unison, the refrain of every Leftovers Brunch in our history. \"Tell us,\" Benji says, all of us relishing the litany and details of failed dishes. \"Well, Gina, you know, she is Italian, so she brings sausages in peppers, which smells like feet. And she takes the beautiful sausages that Kurt makes at the butcher shop and cooks them until they are like hard little rocks. Ellie, she is afraid of getting fat, so she makes cheesecake with no-fat Greek yogurt and Egg Beaters and fake sugar that tastes mostly of petrol. Lisa wanted to do stuffing, and it was so dry that you could barely choke it down. I had to make a second batch of gravy in the middle of dinner because everyone was trying to soak it so that it didn't kill us.\" \"But you made that beautiful turkey, and those dumplings are like pillows,\" Andrea says. \"And your famous German potato salad,\" Eloise says. \"And all of those desserts from the bakery,\" I say, dreaming of crispy, sweet pastries, oozing custard and homemade jam and dolloped with whipped cream. \"A good meal in spite of the girls.\" Lois beams, knowing that we all really mean our compliments.”",
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                        "text": "“But every once in a great while, the pull of her heritage would hit her, and Grand-mere would cook something real. I could never figure out what it was that triggered her, but I would come home from school to a glorious aroma. An Apfel-strudel, with paper-thin pastry wrapped around chunks of apples and nuts and raisins. The thick smoked pork chops called Kasseler ribs, braised in apple cider and served with caraway-laced sauerkraut. A rich baked dish with sausages, duck, and white beans. And hoppel poppel. A traditional German recipe handed down from her mother. I haven't even thought of it in years. But when my mom left, it was the only thing I could think to do for Joe, who was confused and heartbroken, and it was my best way to try to get something in him that didn't come in a cardboard container. I never got to learn at her knee the way many granddaughters learn to cook; she never shared the few recipes that were part of my ancestry. But hoppel poppel is fly by the seat of your pants, it doesn't need a recipe; it's a mess, just like me. It's just what the soul needs. I grab an onion, and chop half of it. I cut up the cold cooked potatoes into chunks. I pull one of my giant hot dogs out, and cut it into thick coins. Grand-mere used ham, but Joe loved it with hot dogs, and I do too. Plus I don't have ham. I whisk six eggs in a bowl, and put some butter on to melt. The onions and potatoes go in, and while they are cooking, I grate a pile of Swiss cheese, nicking my knuckle, but catching myself before I bleed into my breakfast. By the time I get a Band-Aid on it, the onions have begun to burn a little, but I don't care. I dump in the hot dogs and hear them sizzle, turning down the heat so that I don't continue to char the onions. When the hot dogs are spitting and getting a little browned, I add the eggs and stir up the whole mess like a scramble. When the eggs are pretty much set, I sprinkle the cheese over the top and take it off the heat, letting the cheese melt while I pop three slices of bread in the toaster. When the toast is done, I butter it, and eat the whole mess on the counter, using the crispy buttered toast to scoop chunk of egg, potato, and hot dog into my mouth, strings of cheese hanging down my chin. Even with the burnt onions, and having overcooked the eggs to rubbery bits, it is exactly what I need.”",
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                        "text": "“Caroline has laid out a beautiful spread, which is a combination of some of my favorite things that she has cooked, and traditional Sikh wedding dishes provided by Jag's friends. There is a whole roasted beef tenderloin, sliced up with beautiful brioche rolls for those who want to make sandwiches, crispy brussels sprouts, potato gratin, and tomato pudding from Gemma's journal. The savory pudding was one of the dishes from Martha's wedding, which gave me the idea for this insanity to begin with, so it seemed appropriate. I actually think Gemma would strongly approve of this whole thing. And she certainly would have appreciated the exoticism of the wonderful Indian vegetarian dishes, lentils, fried pakoras, and a spicy chickpea stew. From what I can tell, Gemma was thrilled anytime she could get introduced in a completely new cuisine, whether it was the Polish stonemason introducing her to pierogi and borsht, or the Chinese laundress bringing her tender dumplings, or the German butcher sharing his recipe for sauerbraten. She loved to experiment in the kitchen, and the Rabins encouraged her, gifting her cookbooks and letting her surprise them with new delicacies. Her favorite was 'With a Saucepan Over the Sea: Quaint and Delicious Recipes from the Kitchens of Foreign Countries,' a book of recipes from around the world that Gemma seemed to refer to frequently, enjoying most when she could alter one of the recipes to better fit the palate of the Rabins. Mrs. Rabin taught her all of the traditional Jewish dishes they needed for holiday celebrations, and was, by Gemma's account, a superlative cook in her own right. Off to the side of the buffet is a lovely dessert table, swagged with white linen and topped with a small wedding cake, surrounded by dishes of fried dough balls soaked in rosewater syrup and decorated with pistachios and rose petals, and other Indian sweets.”",
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                        "text": "“Lois and Eloise and Benji have been cooking from the book all week in preparation, making everything from homemade marshmallows and chewy pates de fruit, to homemade Oreos and Better than Nutter Butters. Caramels, macarons, miniparfaits filled with apple compote and vanilla custard and olive oil cake. Insane little chocolate tarts. Shortbreads and chocolates and my personal favorite, the Chocolate Bouchan, essentially a cork-shaped brownie that is one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted.”",
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                        "text": "“Yep,\" I say, cutting a large slice of the Dutch Baby pancake and sliding it onto her plate along with two pieces of thick-sliced bacon. Then I serve myself, the fluffy pancake, doused in butter and lemon and confectioners' sugar, the bacon perfectly crispy and salty. \"What happened? 'Cause that is some full-service lawyering; I'm clearly with the wrong firm. Damn this thing is delicious,\" she says in a rush, forking a large piece of pancake into her mouth and rolling her eyes. \"I know, right?\" I take a small bite, letting the flavors mingle, the light pancake, the tart lemon, the sweet sugar. Perfection.”",
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                        "text": "“I'm going to explode,\" my dad says, rubbing his stomach gleefully. He's just put down a massive sandwich piled with corned beef, pastrami, chopped liver, and Swiss cheese, with a slide of crispy onion strings and a vanilla malt. \"Tilt,\" I say, making the time-out signal with my hands. I managed to get three-quarters of the way through a turkey club with no tomatoes and Thousand Island instead of mayo, with a pile of extra-crispy fries and a chocolate phosphate. Not to mention the bucket of pickles, and the soup, chicken with kreplach and noodles for him, sweet-and-sour cabbage for me.”",
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                        "text": "“Brian orders us both Grandpa's Turtle Sundaes, a classic with vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, caramel sauce, whipped cream and nuts, topped with a house-made turtle candy instead of a cherry. Sigh. So much for getting out of the elastic waistband pants anytime soon. But the thing is, it works. Decadent, insane, over the top, but so freaking delicious. Cold ice cream, fluffy whipped cream, the mingling richness of fudge and caramel, perfectly tempered with the salt and crunch of toasted pecans and peanuts. A weirdly perfect food.”",
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                        "text": "“Thursday night is pasta night,\" I say. \"I left you guys a lasagna Bolognese, garlic knots, and roasted broccolini. Ian is going to make the Caesar salad table side.\" Thursday is the day I come in only to train Ian, so on Wednesdays I always leave something for an easy pasta night. Either a baked dish, or a sauce and parboiled pasta for easy finishing, some prepped salad stuff, and a simple dessert. \"Awesome. Does the lasagna have the chunks of sausage in it?\" I narrow my eyes at him. \"Robert Adam Farber, would I leave you a lasagna without chunks of sausage in it?\" I say with fake insult in my voice. \"No, El, you totally have my back on all things meat. What's for dessert?\" \"Lemon olive oil cake with homemade vanilla bean gelato.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I've been developing killer updated versions of things like Black Forest cake, now with bittersweet devil's food cake, a dried-cherry conserve, and whipped vanilla creme fraiche. I've perfected a new carrot cake, adding candied chunks of parsnips and rum-soaked golden raisins to the cake and mascarpone to the frosting. And my cheeky take on homemade Pop-Tarts will be available in three flavors- blueberry, strawberry, and peanut butter and jelly- and I've even ordered fun little silver Mylar bags to pack them in.”",
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                        "text": "“This year I am doing praline pecans, an old favorite family favorite, easy and addictive. And a festive holiday dark chocolate loaf cake, with pistachios and dried cherries and white chocolate chips. I get out my huge seven-quart KitchenAid mixer, and head to the basement, where I have ten pounds of gorgeous halved pecans in the chest freezer, and a pallet of organic eggs from Paulie's Pasture in the commercial refrigerator I use for entertaining and overflow. Upstairs, I focus on separating eggs, reserving the yolks for making pasta or custard later. Beating whites, melting butter, I can feel my shoulders unclench as the scent of toasted sugar pecans caramelizing fills the house.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I love the caraway seeds in the classic rye bread, but I wonder if the rich dough might not also hold up to other flavors. I jot down some notes. Aniseed. Fennel seed. Orange zest. Golden raisins. Coarse salt? Maybe if Herman doesn't come down when I am working on the dough, I can use a small batch for a little experiment. I'm thinking rolls, not loaves. The kind of rolls you want to smear with cold sweet butter at dinner, or split and toast and spread with cream cheese for breakfast. Savory and sweet. Maybe semolina on the bottom instead of the coarser cornmeal we use for the regular rye loaves.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“We wanted to do French toast for the brunch, but acknowledged that it is a dangerous item for a special event where people might be dressed up. Patrick had an awesome recipe for the toast itself, using day-old Challah, melted vanilla ice cream as a main ingredient in the soaking liquid, and just a hint of sea salt. I had come up with an alternative to the sticky drippy-down-your-front maple syrup problem by mixing equal parts maple sugar and demerara sugar, and having him sprinkle this on top of the already-cooked French toast and doing a quick brûlée under the broiler; giving the toast a thin crackly maple sugar shell. All the sweet and smoky taste, nothing ruining your mother-in-law's favorite silk blouse.”",
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                        "text": "“Caroline made a steamed fig pudding with brandy hard sauce. Hedy and Jacob brought a platter of dense, moist gingerbread squares studded with chunks of candied ginger and frosted with a lemon cream cheese icing. John and Marie brought a flourless chocolate souffle cake filled with chocolate mousse, glazed with chocolate ganache and decorated with white chocolate swirls. Jag and Nageena brought a really interesting dessert called halwa that is made with carrots. And I brought Gemma's shortbread.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“EL Ideas- Chef Phillip Foss Valentine's Day Menu freeze pop- honeydew/truffle/bitters shake and fries- potato/vanilla/leek black cod- black rice/black garlic/black radish cauliflower- botarga/anchovy/pasta brussels sprouts- grits/kale/horseradish apple- peanut/bacon/thyme french onion- gruyere/brioche/chive ham- fontina/butternut/green almonds pretzel- beer/mustard/cheddar buffalo chicken- blue cheese/carrot/celery steak- components of béarnaise pie- lime/graham crackers/cream cheese movie snacks- popcorn/Twizzlers/Raisinets”",
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                            "caption": "“EL Ideas- Chef Phillip Foss Valentine's Day Menu freeze pop- honeydew/truffle/bitters shake and fries…” — Stacey Ballis",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What do you want for lunch?\" \"Jag and I were talking about maybe needing a little Persian fix. What do you think?\" \"I think I will do an order to Noon O Kabab, and then take the dog for a walk. Can you keep an ear out for the doorbell?\" \"Will do?\" I grab my iPad and log in to the restaurant website and place an order for hummus, baba ghanouj, spicy pomegranate wings, and skewers of chenjeh, koubideh, and lamb. The combination of grilled marinated rib eye, minced spiced beef, and tender lamb should be plenty for three hungry worker bees, with Persian rice and grilled vegetables, chunks of feta, and their delicious large pita breads.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The cake is pretty simple; they didn't want anything too fancy. Two tiers. The bottom is the Frango mint tier from the cake contest, but the top is a new one. An almond cake with a whipped honey caramel filling and a layer of thinly sliced spiced poached pears, with vanilla buttercream. The whole cake will get a smooth white fondant coating, and then a detailed lace pattern hand-piped with white royal icing. They've opted out of toppers, so I've made some simple wildflowers out of gum paste, colored with the powdered food colors to look incredibly real.”",
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                            "caption": "“The cake is pretty simple; they didn't want anything too fancy. Two tiers. The bottom is the Frango mint…” — Stacey Ballis",
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                        "text": "“He comes over and lifts the foil off the pan. I can see that it is golden and crispy, and the scent of vanilla and butter wafts up at me. Elliot grabs two forks from the bin on the counter and hands one to me. \"I'll grab some plates.\" \"Don't bother. It's just us,\" he says, and digs right in. What the hell. I aim for a particularly crusty bit on the edge. \"Oh my, that is amazing,\" I say. It is perfectly balanced, rich but not heavy, just the teeniest bit of chew left in the bread, vanilla and butter and... something else... \"Toffee. Crushed-up Heath Bars in the middle.”",
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                        "text": "“Being a compulsive overeater is no different from being an alcoholic or drug addict. The only difference is that you can avoid drugs and alcohol completely and you have to have a relationship with food every day for the rest of your life. It's actually the hardest addiction to live with. If you were an alcoholic and someone said to you that you were required to have a single drink three to five times a day, but were not supposed to ever drink to excess, or a drug addict who was required to take just one pill severeal times a day every day, but you're not supposed to ever take more than that...no one would ever make it through rehab.”",
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                        "text": "“The nice thing about this menu is that it will keep fine for tomorrow. I decide to finish the potatoes, cutting the top off and scooping out the fluffy interiors, leaving a quarter-inch-thick shell. I mix the scoopings with butter, sour cream, cheddar cheese and chives, add a splash of milk to keep smooth, and restuff the potato shells, sprinkling a mixture of shredded cheddar and fried shallots on top, and pop them in the fridge. All I will have to do tomorrow is cook the beef, reheat the spinach, and bake the potatoes.”",
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                        "text": "“Elliot, that was amazing.\" The meal has been spectacular. We started with a salad of fennel, golden beets, and grapefruit. He did a veal roast with a classic shallot-cognac pan sauce, smooth with butter and brightened with thyme and parsley, the meat perfectly cooked, still rosy in the middle, with a great crisp brown sear on the outside. An interesting dish of fregola, toasted pearl pasta that is one of my favorite ingredients, cooked with sweet corn he charred on the grill, and chives. And simple steamed asparagus. Everything cooked perfectly, well seasoned, and full of soul.”",
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                        "text": "“So tonight we are just seven. Seven people, and twelve pounds of pork. I pick a piece of the insanely delicious crispy skin and feel it crunch between my teeth. Suddenly the ratio seems perfectly normal. Gene rubbed it with his secret spice mix early this morning, and it's been roasting in a slow oven all day. Andrea's creamy grits are the perfect thing to soak up the thick gravy, Jasmin's parsnips and pears are caramelized and sweet, and everyone praises my chard and chickpeas.”",
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                        "text": "“Liam's hash brown casserole can only be described as so over-the-top ridiculous I fear Paula Deen is sitting somewhere cackling about it. I can tell that there is cheese, butter, and sour cream in there, and do not want to know what else. It is delicious, as are the perfectly dried eggs, crispy bacon, buttery toast, and juicy sausages. The muffins are banana chocolate chip, otherwise known as breakfast cake.”",
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                        "text": "“Zucchini pasta with chicken and lemon,\" Melanie says. \"I'm using whole-grain linguini, and the zucchini is shredded in long strips the same size as the noodles. Half real noodles, half zucchini noodles, so everything twirls the same on your fork, but you halve the carbs and cut down the calories significantly.\" She grabs a tasting spoon and lets me taste the chicken, simmering gently in a rich lemony sauce. \"That is amazing. So light and fresh, but still depth in flavor.\" \"I love this recipe, especially in the winter like this; it just tastes like spring to me.”",
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                        "text": "“I hacked an old Crock-Pot and turned it into a sous vide machine, and did a turkey breast, and then seared the skin on the stovetop, so it is totally crispy, but the meat is BEYOND juicy. And the stuffing is a combination of homemade corn bread, homemade buttermilk biscuits, and brioche, with sage and thyme and celery and onion and shallot. And I tried the Robuchon Pommes Puree, and thought that there was no way to put THAT much butter into that much potato, but holy moley is it amazeballs! And I did a butternut squash soup with fried ginger and almond cake with apple compote.\" All the bustle has roused Volnay, who wanders over to greet Benji, and receives a dog biscuit for her trouble from Eloise. \"Honey, breathe a little,\" I say, laughing. \"It's just... I... I mean... THANKSGIVING!\" he says, which cracks us all up.”",
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                        "text": "“Making dinner for Wayne is either the easiest thing or the hardest thing on the planet, depending on how you look at it. After all, Wayne's famous Eleven are neither difficult to procure nor annoying to prepare. They are just. So. Boring. Roasted chicken Plain hamburgers Steak cooked medium Pork chops Eggs scrambled dry Potatoes, preferably fries, chips, baked, or mashed, and not with anything fancy mixed in Chili, preferably Hormel canned Green beans Carrots Corn Iceberg lettuce with ranch dressing That's it. The sum total of what Wayne will put into his maw. He doesn't even eat fricking PIZZA for chrissakes. Not including condiments, limited to ketchup and yellow mustard and Miracle Whip, and any and all forms of baked goods... when it comes to breads and pastries and desserts he has the palate of a gourmand, no loaf goes untouched, no sweet unexplored. It saves him, only slightly, from being a complete food wasteland. And he has no idea that it is strange to everyone that he will eat apple pie and apple cake and apple charlotte and apple brown Betty and apple dumplings and fritters and muffins and doughnuts and crisp and crumble and buckle, but will not eat AN APPLE.”",
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