---
title: "Best Paullina Simons Quotations"
description: "Paullina Simons is a Russian‑born American writer best known for best‑selling novels such as The Bronze Horseman and Tatiana and Alexander."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b115/author-paullina-simons-1314.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b115/author-paullina-simons-1314.jpg)

# Paullina Simons

(1963)   Translator   United States

 **230** quotes in **613** categories

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Paullina Simons is a translator from the United States, best known for *Road to Paradise*.

## Quick Facts About Paullina Simons

Born January 1, 1963

Nationality United States

Profession Translator

Notable works Road to Paradise

Known for The Bronze Horseman

## About Paullina Simons

Paullina Simons is a Russian‑born American writer whose international best‑selling titles include Tully, Red Leaves, Eleven Hours, The Bronze Horseman, Tatiana and Alexander, Lily and The Summer Garden.

##  Quotes by Paullina Simons · Page 4

> [“I didn't know how to live my life, and suddenly I was thrust into it and had no choice but to live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/i-didn-t-know-how-to-live-my-life-and-suddenly-i-was-thrust-into-it/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eea/paullina-simons-1314_choice_i-didn-t-know-how-to-live-my-life-and-su_2792137.png)

> [Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/though-much-is-taken-much-abides-and-though-we-are-not-now-that-2/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Earth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/earth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94e/paullina-simons-1314_earth_though-much-is-taken-much-abides-and-tho_2442937.png)

> [“Alexander looked into the barrel of one of the guns. He blinked. O God, please look after Tania all alone in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/alexander-looked-into-the-barrel-of-one-of-the-guns-he-blinked-o-god/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/370/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_alexander-looked-into-the-barrel-of-one_2084849.png)

> [Alexander knew that before he had light instead of darkness, he had to deserve light instead of darkness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/alexander-knew-that-before-he-had-light-instead-of-darkness-he-had-to/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/159/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_alexander-knew-that-before-he-had-light_301025.jpg)

> [“I can't do it," Tatiana said "I can't walk down the streets of our life with you." "I know." They turned back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/i-can-t-do-it-tatiana-said-i-can-t-walk-down-the-streets-of-our-life/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/35a/paullina-simons-1314_life_i-can-t-do-it-tatiana-said-i-can-t-walk_570902.png)

> [You are my hand grenade, my artillery fire. You have replaced my heart with yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/you-are-my-hand-grenade-my-artillery-fire-you-have-replaced-my-heart/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Artillery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/artillery/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f9/paullina-simons-1314_artillery_you-are-my-hand-grenade-my-artillery-fir_1534197.png)

> [“How instant it was, desire. It was like a bomb exploding, fragmenting and igniting all her nerve endings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/how-instant-it-was-desire-it-was-like-a-bomb-exploding-fragmenting/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e6/paullina-simons-1314_desire_how-instant-it-was-desire-it-was-like-a_3130458.png)

> [If I can live through this, he thought, I can live through anything. If I can live through this, I WILL live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/if-i-can-live-through-this-he-thought-i-can-live-through-anything-if/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edc/paullina-simons-1314_live_if-i-can-live-through-this-he-thought-i_3185199.png)

> [War was the ultimate chaos, a pounding, soul-destroying snarl, ending in blown-apart men lying unburied on the cold earth. There was nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/war-was-the-ultimate-chaos-a-pounding-soul-destroying-snarl-ending-in/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Chaos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chaos/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/paullina-simons-1314_chaos_war-was-the-ultimate-chaos-a-pounding-so_3006960.png)

> [Please don't die," she whispered. "I don't think I can bury you. I already buried everyone else." "How can I die," Alexander…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/please-don-t-die-she-whispered-i-don-t-think-i-can-bury-you-i-already/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbb/paullina-simons-1314_blood_please-don-t-die-she-whispered-i-don-t-t_3235850.png)

> [I love you. I'm blind for you, wild for you. Sick with you. I told you that our first night together when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/i-love-you-i-m-blind-for-you-wild-for-you-sick-with-you-i-told-you/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Blind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blind/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf3/paullina-simons-1314_blind_i-love-you-i-m-blind-for-you-wild-for-yo_3001808.jpg)

> [You have amazing gifts. Don't squander them. Don't give them out meaninglessly, don't abuse them, don't take them for granted. You are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/you-have-amazing-gifts-don-t-squander-them-don-t-give-them-out/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1eb/paullina-simons-1314_abuse_you-have-amazing-gifts-don-t-squander-th_1713744.png)

> [“He heard bombs exploding like fireworks, and as if in a dream his father's face flashed before him, wanting to know what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/he-heard-bombs-exploding-like-fireworks-and-as-if-in-a-dream-his/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5b/paullina-simons-1314_death_he-heard-bombs-exploding-like-fireworks_1597019.png)

> [“Tania, when I found you, I felt for that hour or two we were together - before Dimitri, before Dasha - that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/tania-when-i-found-you-i-felt-for-that-hour-or-two-we-were-together/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91d/paullina-simons-1314_life_tania-when-i-found-you-i-felt-for-that-h_1846876.png)

> [“What a prison you have set up for me with your first love.” She put her arms tighter around him and said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/what-a-prison-you-have-set-up-for-me-with-your-first-love-she-put-her/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[First kiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-kiss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/464/paullina-simons-1314_first-kiss_what-a-prison-you-have-set-up-for-me-wit_334702.png)

> [We thought the hard part was over—but we were wrong. Living is the hardest part. Figuring out how to live your life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/we-thought-the-hard-part-was-over-but-we-were-wrong-living-is-the/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/paullina-simons-1314_busted_we-thought-the-hard-part-was-over-but-we_1838736.jpg)

> [“Do you hear the stellar winds, carrying from the heavens a whisper, straight from antiquity... into eternity..." What are they whispering?" Tatiana...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/do-you-hear-the-stellar-winds-carrying-from-the-heavens-a-whisper/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/594/paullina-simons-1314_whispering-tatiana_do-you-hear-the-stellar-winds-carrying-f_841584.png)

> [“You are still not fucking immortal, sir. And your men certainly aren’t, but I don’t give a shit about the men. It’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/you-are-still-not-fucking-immortal-sir-and-your-men-certainly-aren-t/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7d/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_you-are-still-not-fucking-immortal-sir-a_2632239.png)

> [“All nations were different. The Russians were unparalleled in their suffering, the English in their reserve, the Americans in their love of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/all-nations-were-different-the-russians-were-unparalleled-in-their/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Lost hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lost-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd9/paullina-simons-1314_lost-hope_all-nations-were-different-the-russians_2588438.png)

> [“The feeling he had had all his young life - that he was brought on this earth for something special - had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/the-feeling-he-had-had-all-his-young-life-that-he-was-brought-on-this/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fe/paullina-simons-1314_life_the-feeling-he-had-had-all-his-young-lif_1507994.png)

> [“You will find a way to live without me. You will find a way to live for both of us, Alexander had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/you-will-find-a-way-to-live-without-me-you-will-find-a-way-to-live-2/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e4/paullina-simons-1314_another-man_you-will-find-a-way-to-live-without-me-y_2098740.png)

> [“After two weeks came the first letter from Alexander. Tatiasha, Can there be anything harder than this? Missing you is a physical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/after-two-weeks-came-the-first-letter-from-alexander-tatiasha-can/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/162/paullina-simons-1314_god-help_after-two-weeks-came-the-first-letter-fr_2086442.jpg)

> [“The Field of Mars, June, death, life, white nights, Dasha, Dimitri, the all came… And went. But there Alexander still was, standing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/the-field-of-mars-june-death-life-white-nights-dasha-dimitri-the-all/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_the-field-of-mars-june-death-life-white_876576.png)

> [“At night in the tent, he leaves the flaps open, to feel the fire outside, to hear Anthony in the trailer, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/at-night-in-the-tent-he-leaves-the-flaps-open-to-feel-the-fire/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18b/paullina-simons-1314_last-night_at-night-in-the-tent-he-leaves-the-flaps_1617556.png)

> [And then, because she was Tatiana and because she couldn’t help herself, and because he wouldn’t have it any other way, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/and-then-because-she-was-tatiana-and-because-she-couldn-t-help/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0eb/paullina-simons-1314_arms_and-then-because-she-was-tatiana-and-bec_3135294.png)

> [Please stop looking at me, she thought, afraid of his eyes and terrified of her own heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/please-stop-looking-at-me-she-thought-afraid-of-his-eyes-and/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29b/paullina-simons-1314_eye_please-stop-looking-at-me-she-thought-af_351501.png)

> [“Never forget where you came from, Gina Attaviano, Alessandro said to her before he died. Then it will always be easy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/never-forget-where-you-came-from-gina-attaviano-alessandro-said-to/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/paullina-simons-1314_easy_never-forget-where-you-came-from-gina-at_425031.png)

> [“If You are there somewhere, please teach me how to hide what I never knew how to show.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/if-you-are-there-somewhere-please-teach-me-how-to-hide-what-i-never/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/education/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/paullina-simons-1314_education_if-you-are-there-somewhere-please-teach_869244.png)

> [Tatiana realized she was too young to hide well what was in her heart but old enough to know that her heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/tatiana-realized-she-was-too-young-to-hide-well-what-was-in-her-heart/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bf/paullina-simons-1314_enough_tatiana-realized-she-was-too-young-to-hi_1026182.png)

> [“Alexander was right, she thought, He has been right about everything. Everything that he told me would happen has come to pass.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/alexander-was-right-she-thought-he-has-been-right-about-everything/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c6/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_alexander-was-right-she-thought-he-has-b_356380.png)

> [I was blinded by stupidity for a brief moment in our life, for a flicker in the eternity in which you and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/i-was-blinded-by-stupidity-for-a-brief-moment-in-our-life-for-a/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d39/paullina-simons-1314_blinded_i-was-blinded-by-stupidity-for-a-brief-m_622288.png)

> [This is days and days and months and years and all the minutes in between, just you me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/this-is-days-and-days-and-months-and-years-and-all-the-minutes-in/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/paullina-simons-1314_minutes_this-is-days-and-days-and-months-and-yea_1305907.png)

> [Alexander smoked and watched her from his tree stump bench. What are you doing? she would ask him. Nothing, he would reply.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/alexander-smoked-and-watched-her-from-his-tree-stump-bench-what-are/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1f/paullina-simons-1314_alexander_alexander-smoked-and-watched-her-from-hi_2557775.png)

> [Thank you," she whispered, "for keeping yourself alive, soldier." "You're welcome," he whispered back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/thank-you-she-whispered-for-keeping-yourself-alive-soldier-you-re/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d7/paullina-simons-1314_alive_thank-you-she-whispered-for-keeping-your_506725.png)

> [Falling in love with you in the Summer Garden in the white nights in Leningrad is the moment that propels me through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/falling-in-love-with-you-in-the-summer-garden-in-the-white-nights-in/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1d/paullina-simons-1314_fall_falling-in-love-with-you-in-the-summer-g_3227592.png)

> [“I found my true love on the banks of the river Kama,” whispered Alexander, staring at her. “I found my true love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/i-found-my-true-love-on-the-banks-of-the-river-kama-whispered/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Eating ice cream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/eating-ice-cream/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c9/paullina-simons-1314_eating-ice-cream_i-found-my-true-love-on-the-banks-of-the_515233.png)

> [“the days of the young, when they gulped the air and lived to see the better world, the grown-up world, when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/the-days-of-the-young-when-they-gulped-the-air-and-lived-to-see-the/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Better world](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/better-world/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/682/paullina-simons-1314_better-world_the-days-of-the-young-when-they-gulped-t_1182435.jpg)

> [Dear God, Tatiana prayed in bed that night, turning to the wall and pulling the white sheet and the thin brown blanket…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/dear-god-tatiana-prayed-in-bed-that-night-turning-to-the-wall-and/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f1/paullina-simons-1314_bed_dear-god-tatiana-prayed-in-bed-that-nigh_1441128.png)

> [“When he asked isn't it beautiful, my father was seeing his youth, and his youth was beautiful. He closed his eyes and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/when-he-asked-isn-t-it-beautiful-my-father-was-seeing-his-youth-and/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Beautiful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beautiful/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e92/paullina-simons-1314_beautiful_when-he-asked-isn-t-it-beautiful-my-fath_2145122.jpg)

> [Awash in a flood of hostility and despair, they battled and railed and shattered their bodies on one another, unable to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paullina-simons/awash-in-a-flood-of-hostility-and-despair-they-battled-and-railed-and/)

[Paullina Simons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paullina-simons/)

[Body](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dd/paullina-simons-1314_body_awash-in-a-flood-of-hostility-and-despai_913806.jpg)

## Paullina Simons by topic

[Life (40)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/paullina-simons/) [Love (33)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/paullina-simons/) [Time (16)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/paullina-simons/) [Heart (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/paullina-simons/)

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                        "text": "“Alexander looked into the barrel of one of the guns. He blinked. O God, please look after Tania all alone in the world.”",
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                        "text": "“I can't do it,\" Tatiana said \"I can't walk down the streets of our life with you.\" \"I know.\" They turned back to the reflections in the mirror.”",
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                        "text": "Please don't die,\" she whispered. \"I don't think I can bury you. I already buried everyone else.\" \"How can I die,\" Alexander said, his voice breaking, \"when you have poured your immortal blood into me?",
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                        "text": "I love you. I'm blind for you, wild for you. Sick with you. I told you that our first night together when I asked you to marry me, I am telling you now. Everything that's happened to us, everything, is because I crossed the street for you. I worship you. You know that through and through...",
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                        "text": "You have amazing gifts. Don't squander them. Don't give them out meaninglessly, don't abuse them, don't take them for granted. You are the weapon you carry with you till the day you die. -Tatiana and Alexander",
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                        "text": "“Tania, when I found you, I felt for that hour or two we were together - before Dimitri, before Dasha - that somemhow I was going to right my life.\" Alexander smiled bitterly. \"I had a sense of hope and destiny that I can neither explain nor understand.”",
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                        "text": "“What a prison you have set up for me with your first love.” She put her arms tighter around him and said teasingly, “Oh, so the first love part you believe, but the first kiss part you have a problem with? What kind of girl do you think I am?” “The nicest girl,” he whispered.”",
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                        "text": "“Do you hear the stellar winds, carrying from the heavens a whisper, straight from antiquity... into eternity...\" What are they whispering?\" Tatiana... Tatiana... Ta...tiana...\" Please stop.\" Will you remember that? Anywhere you are, if you can look up and find Perseus in the sky, find that smile, and hear the galactic wind whisper your name, you'll know that it's me, calling for you... calling you back to Lazarevo.”",
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                        "text": "“You are still not fucking immortal, sir. And your men certainly aren’t, but I don’t give a shit about the men. It’s you we can’t replace. And I’m supposed to be here to protect you. How can you engage in hand-to-hand combat in the water when you are supposed to be in the rear? What do you think you are made of, Captain? Until just now when I saw you bleed red blood like the rest of us, I wasn’t sure.” “It’s not my blood,” Alexander said. “What?” But Alexander shook his head.”",
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                        "text": "“All nations were different. The Russians were unparalleled in their suffering, the English in their reserve, the Americans in their love of life, the Italians in their love of Christ, and the French in their hope of love. So when they made the dress for Tatiana, they made it full of promise. They made it as if to tell her, put it on, chérie, and in this dress you, too, shall be loved as we have loved; put it on and love shall be yours. And so Tatiana never despaired in her white dress with red roses. Had the Americans made it, she would have been happy. Had the Italians made it, she would have started praying, had the British made it, she would have squared her shoulders, but because the French had made it, she never lost hope.”",
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                        "text": "“The feeling he had had all his young life - that he was brought on this earth for something special - had not left Alexander, not quite; what it did was dissipate inside him, became translucent in his blood vessels. It no longer pulsed through his body. He was no longer filled with a sense of purpose as he traveled through his adolescence. He was filled with a sense of despair. My childhood was good, he thought. And my adolescence - I could have lived through it all. I could have lived through it all if only I continued to have the feeling that at the end of childhood, at the end of adolescence, there was something else in this life that would be mine, that I could make with my bare hands, and once I had made it, I could say, I did this to my life. I made my life so. Hope. It was gone from Alexander on this sunny crisp Sunday, and the feeling of purpose had vanished, was vanquished in his veins.”",
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                        "text": "“You will find a way to live without me. You will find a way to live for both of us, Alexander had said to her, once. She knew now, knew for certain what she had long feared, long suspected: Alexander had handed her his life and said, this is for you. I cannot save myself, I can only save you, and you have to go and live your life the way you and only you were meant to live it. You have to be strong, and you have to be happy, and you have to love our child, and eventually, you have to love. Eventually, you have to learn to love again, and to smile again, and to put me away, you have to learn to hold another man's hand, and kiss another man's lips. You have to marry again. You have to have more children. You have to live your life--for me, for you. You have to live it as we would have lived it. All in one word: Orbeli.”",
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                        "text": "“After two weeks came the first letter from Alexander. Tatiasha, Can there be anything harder than this? Missing you is a physical aching that grips me early in the morning and does not leave me, not even as I draw my last waking breath. My solace in these waning empty summer days is the knowledge that you’re safe, and alive, and healthy, and that the worst that you have to go through is serfdom for four well-meaning old women. The wood piles I’ve left are the lightest in the front. The heaviest ones are for the winter. Use them last, and if you need help carrying them, God help me, ask Vova. Don’t hurt yourself. And don’t fill the water pails all the way to the top. They’re too heavy. Getting back was rough, and as soon as I came back, I was sent right out to the Neva, where for six days we planned our attack and then made a move in boats across the river and were completely crushed in two hours. We didn’t stand a chance. The Germans bombed the boats with the Vanyushas, their version of my rocket launcher, the boats all sank. We were left with a thousand fewer men and were no closer to crossing the river. We’re now looking at other places we can cross. I’m fine, except for the fact that it’s rained here for ten days straight and I’ve been hip deep in mud for all that time. There is nowhere to sleep, except in the mud. We put our trench coats down and hope it stops raining soon. All black and wet, I almost felt sorry for myself until I thought of you during the blockade. I’ve decided to do that from now on. Every time I think I have it so tough, I’m going to think of you burying your sister in Lake Ladoga. I wish you had been given a lighter cross than Leningrad to carry through your life. Things are going to be relatively quiet here for the next few weeks, until we regroup. Yesterday a bomb fell in the commandant’s bunker. The commandant wasn’t there at the time. Yet the anxiety doesn’t go away. When is it going to come again? I play cards and soccer. And I smoke. And I think of you. I sent you money. Go to Molotov at the end of August. Don’t forget to eat well, my warm bun, my midnight sun, and kiss your hand for me, right in the palm and then press it against your heart. Alexander Tatiana read Alexander’s letter a hundred times, memorizing every word. She slept with her face on the letter, which renewed her strength.”",
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                        "text": "“The Field of Mars, June, death, life, white nights, Dasha, Dimitri, the all came… And went. But there Alexander still was, standing on that street, on that curb, in the sun, looking at her under the elms, looking at provenance across from him provenance in a white dress with red roses, licking her ice cream with red lips, singing. His and only his for one hundred minutes, blink of an eye and gone. It all was.”",
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                        "text": "“At night in the tent, he leaves the flaps open, to feel the fire outside, to hear Anthony in the trailer, to see her better. She asks him to lie on his stomach, and he does, though he can't see her, while she runs her bare breasts over his disfigured back, her nipples hardening into his scars. You feel that? she whispers. Oh, he does. He still feels it. She kisses him from the top of his head downward, from his buzz-cut scalp, his shoulder blades, his wounds. Inch by inch she cries over him and kisses her own salt away, murmuring into him, why did you have to keep running? Look what they did to you. Why didn't you just stay put? Why couldn't you feel I was coming for you? You thought I was dead, he says. You thought I had been killed and pushed through the ice in Lake Ladoga. And what really happened was, I was a Soviet man left in a Soviet prison. Wasn't I dead? He is fairly certain he is alive now, and while Tatiana lies on top of his back and cries, he remembers being caught by the dogs a kilometer from Oranienburg and held in place by the Alsatians until Karolich arived, and being flogged in Sachsenhausen's main square and then chained and tattooed publicly with the 25-point star to remind him of his time for Stalin, and now she lies on his back, kissing the scars he received when he tried to escape to make his way back to her so she could kiss him. As he drives across Texas, Alexander remembers himself in Germany lying in the bloody straw after being beaten and dreaming of her kissing him, and these dreams morph with the memories of last night, and suddenly she is kissing not the scars but the raw oozing wounds, and he is in agony for she is crying and the brine of her tears is eating away the meat of his flesh, and he is begging her to stop because he can't take it anymore. Kiss something else, he pleads. Anything else. He's had enough of himself. He's sick of himself. She is tainted not just with the Gulag. She is tainted with his whole life. Does it hurt when I touch them? He has to lie. Every kiss she plants on his wounds stirs a sense memory of how he got them. He wanted her to touch him, and this is what he gets. But if he tells her the truth, she will stop. So he lied. No, he says.”",
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                        "text": "And then, because she was Tatiana and because she couldn’t help herself, and because he wouldn’t have it any other way, she ran to him and was in his arms.",
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                        "text": "Please stop looking at me, she thought, afraid of his eyes and terrified of her own heart.",
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                        "text": "“Never forget where you came from, Gina Attaviano, Alessandro said to her before he died. Then it will always be easy.”",
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