--- title: "Best Mary Gaitskill Sayings" description: "Mary Gaitskill is an American novelist, essayist, and short story writer. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, Esquire, The Best ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b017/author-mary-gaitskill-65037.jpg" --- ![Portrait of Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b017/author-mary-gaitskill-65037.jpg) # Mary Gaitskill (1954) Novelist United States **87** quotes in **369** categories Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet Mary Gaitskill is a novelist from the United States, best known for *Veronica*. ## Quick Facts About Mary Gaitskill Born November 11, 1954 Nationality United States Profession Novelist Notable works Veronica Spouse Peter Trachtenberg ## About Mary Gaitskill Mary Gaitskill is an American novelist, essayist, and short story writer. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, Esquire, The Best American Short Stories, and The O. Henry Prize Stories. Her books include the short story collection Bad Behavior (1988) and Veronica (2005), which was nominated for both the National Book Award for Fiction and the National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction. ## Awards & Honors Hopwood Award Guggenheim Fellowship ## Quotes by Mary Gaitskill · Page 3 > [Adultery is like, here's the way it is, and here's exactly what you're supposed to do. It's like cheating at Monopoly. For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-and-here-s-exactly-what-you-re/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Adultery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adultery/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d20/mary-gaitskill-7551_adultery_adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-an_1694789.jpg) > [I think the closest thing I can come to defining what that vital thing is for me - is that there's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to-defining-what-that-vital/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb6/mary-gaitskill-7551_alive_i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to_1688084.jpg) > [People still think that a woman who doesn't have children or doesn't want children is really lacking in something. I've seen this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-doesn-t-have-children-or-doesn-t/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3a/mary-gaitskill-7551_children_people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-does_1327097.jpg) > [Death is a big theme in the book, illness. What is that? It's a fact that human beings - no matter who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness-what-is-that-it-s-a-fact/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Age](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/mary-gaitskill-7551_age_death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness_2041420.jpg) > [People tend to set themselves up in patterns; something happens, it hurts them, then something similar happens, and - it's happened again!…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patterns-something-happens-it/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abb/mary-gaitskill-7551_bigger_people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patt_1442594.jpg) > [“In my opinion, most of us have not been taught how to be responsible for our thoughts and feelings. I see this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-taught-how-to-be-responsible/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Ladies and gentlemen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ladies-and-gentlemen/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/mary-gaitskill-7551_ladies-and-gentlemen_in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-t_2609301.jpg) > [“SHE WAS MEETING a man she had recently and abruptly fallen in love with. She was in a state of ghastly anxiety.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/she-was-meeting-a-man-she-had-recently-and-abruptly-fallen-in-love/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/902/mary-gaitskill-7551_love_she-was-meeting-a-man-she-had-recently-a_1283545.jpg) ## Mary Gaitskill by topic [Thinking (20)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/mary-gaitskill/) [People (19)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/mary-gaitskill/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/#itemlist", "name": "Mary Gaitskill Quotes", "numberOfItems": 7, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Adultery is like, here's the way it is, and here's exactly what you're supposed to do. It's like cheating at Monopoly. For me, it just doesn't apply to human relations. I mean, I use the word sometimes because it's fair and everybody knows what it means, but I find it a very irritating word.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-and-here-s-exactly-what-you-re/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d20/mary-gaitskill-7551_adultery_adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-an_1694789.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d20/mary-gaitskill-7551_adultery_adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-an_1694789.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d20/mary-gaitskill-7551_adultery_adultery-is-like-here-s-the-way-it-is-an_1694789.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Adultery is like, here's the way it is, and here's exactly what you're supposed to do. It's like cheating at…” — Mary Gaitskill", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think the closest thing I can come to defining what that vital thing is for me - is that there's a sort of soul-quality in writing, if it's any good. It has a spirit or an energy to it that is very integral to who the writer is on a deep level. It's almost a cellular thing. It takes place in the cells of the writing, and it is what makes it alive or not.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to-defining-what-that-vital/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb6/mary-gaitskill-7551_alive_i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to_1688084.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb6/mary-gaitskill-7551_alive_i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to_1688084.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb6/mary-gaitskill-7551_alive_i-think-the-closest-thing-i-can-come-to_1688084.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think the closest thing I can come to defining what that vital thing is for me - is that there's a sort of…” — Mary Gaitskill", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People still think that a woman who doesn't have children or doesn't want children is really lacking in something. I've seen this over and over again in my life. I've had this thinking used against me repeatedly. I remember I had a therapist once, and I brought this up, and she said, \"Well, I think women who don't have children feel very self-critical. They feel bad, so they think other people are critical in that way.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-doesn-t-have-children-or-doesn-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3a/mary-gaitskill-7551_children_people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-does_1327097.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3a/mary-gaitskill-7551_children_people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-does_1327097.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3a/mary-gaitskill-7551_children_people-still-think-that-a-woman-who-does_1327097.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People still think that a woman who doesn't have children or doesn't want children is really lacking in…” — Mary Gaitskill", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Death is a big theme in the book, illness. What is that? It's a fact that human beings - no matter who they are, no matter how healthy or strong or beautiful they are - are going to age and become weak and ugly by a certain standard, and die. And I think that's a terrifying idea for people to get their minds around.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness-what-is-that-it-s-a-fact/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/mary-gaitskill-7551_age_death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness_2041420.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/mary-gaitskill-7551_age_death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness_2041420.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/mary-gaitskill-7551_age_death-is-a-big-theme-in-the-book-illness_2041420.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Death is a big theme in the book, illness. What is that? 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So sometimes people think things are repeating even when they're not.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patterns-something-happens-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abb/mary-gaitskill-7551_bigger_people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patt_1442594.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abb/mary-gaitskill-7551_bigger_people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patt_1442594.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abb/mary-gaitskill-7551_bigger_people-tend-to-set-themselves-up-in-patt_1442594.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People tend to set themselves up in patterns; something happens, it hurts them, then something similar…” — Mary Gaitskill", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In my opinion, most of us have not been taught how to be responsible for our thoughts and feelings. I see this strongly in the widespread tendency to read books and stories as if they exist to confirm how we are supposed to be, think, and feel. I'm not talking about wacky political correctness, I'm talking mainstream… Ladies and gentlemen, please. Stop asking, \"What am I supposed to feel?\" Why would an adult look to me or any other writer to tell him or her what to feel? You're not supposed to feel anything. You feel what you feel. Where you go with it is your responsibility. If a writer chooses to aggressively let you know what he or she feels, where you go with it is still your responsibility.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Gaitskill" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-taught-how-to-be-responsible/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/mary-gaitskill-7551_ladies-and-gentlemen_in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-t_2609301.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/mary-gaitskill-7551_ladies-and-gentlemen_in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-t_2609301.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/mary-gaitskill-7551_ladies-and-gentlemen_in-my-opinion-most-of-us-have-not-been-t_2609301.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In my opinion, most of us have not been taught how to be responsible for our thoughts and feelings. 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