---
title: "165 Kinky Friedman Quotes - Famous Actor (Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned)"
description: "Kinky Friedman quotes on politics, humor, and truth."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b072/author-kinky-friedman-2471.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b072/author-kinky-friedman-2471.jpg)

# Kinky Friedman

(1944–2024)   Actor   United States

 **165** quotes in **661** categories

Kinky Friedman mixes humor with blunt politics. He urges people to listen to outsiders like Ross Perot and Ralph Nader, questions the death penalty, and jokes that God made whiskey so the Irish wouldn’t dominate. His words blend satire, a love of music, and a fierce belief in speaking truth.

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Kinky Friedman was an actor from the United States, best known for *Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned*.

## Quick Facts About Kinky Friedman

Born October 31, 1944

Died June 27, 2024

Nationality United States

Profession Actor

Notable works Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned

## About Kinky Friedman

He described his style after famous satirists Will Rogers and Mark Twain.

##  Quotes by Kinky Friedman

> [I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-ll-keep-us-out-of-war-with-oklahoma/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Oklahoma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oklahoma/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c1/kinky-friedman-2471_oklahoma_i-ll-keep-us-out-of-war-with-oklahoma-23_2349065.png)

> [I don't feel bad about losing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-don-t-feel-bad-about-losing/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e30/kinky-friedman-2471_feel_i-don-t-feel-bad-about-losing-2025843_2025843.png)

> [Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beer-holder/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Beauty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beauty/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea6/kinky-friedman-2471_beauty_beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beer-holder_2980650.png)

> [“How hard can it be?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/how-hard-can-it-be/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Hard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/072/kinky-friedman-2471_hard_how-hard-can-it-be-1335380_1335380.png)

> [Sleep came slower than a frigid woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/sleep-came-slower-than-a-frigid-woman/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Frigid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frigid/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e7/kinky-friedman-2471_frigid_sleep-came-slower-than-a-frigid-woman-21_2125512.png)

> [Happiness is a moving target.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/happiness-is-a-moving-target/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Goals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goals/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/kinky-friedman-2471_goals_happiness-is-a-moving-target-1550720_1550720.png)

> [May the God of your choice bless you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/may-the-god-of-your-choice-bless-you/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Bless](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bless/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/kinky-friedman-2471_bless_may-the-god-of-your-choice-bless-you-143_1434360.png)

> [“The best fiction is true.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-best-fiction-is-true/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Best](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/best/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/12c/kinky-friedman-2471_best_the-best-fiction-is-true-1120595_1120595.png)

> [I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-m-not-pro-life-and-i-m-not-pro-choice-i-m-pro-football/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/kinky-friedman-2471_choices_i-m-not-pro-life-and-i-m-not-pro-choice_1158229.png)

> [How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/how-can-you-look-at-the-texas-legislature-and-still-believe-in/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Believe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/030/kinky-friedman-2471_believe_how-can-you-look-at-the-texas-legislatur_1801807.png)

> [If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/if-raymond-chandler-came-from-the-south-his-name-would-be-ace-atkins/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Aces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aces/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29e/kinky-friedman-2471_aces_if-raymond-chandler-came-from-the-south_524961.png)

> [The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-democrats-and-republicans-are-the-same-guy-admiring-themself-in/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Admiring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/admiring/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8b/kinky-friedman-2471_admiring_the-democrats-and-republicans-are-the-sa_1814377.png)

> [A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/a-happy-childhood-is-the-worst-possible-preparation-for-life/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe7/kinky-friedman-2471_child_a-happy-childhood-is-the-worst-possible_701307.png)

> [Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/golf-is-the-only-opportunity-that-middle-aged-wasps-have-to-dress-up/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Dresses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dresses/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e9/kinky-friedman-2471_dresses_golf-is-the-only-opportunity-that-middle_1321439.png)

> [The child-teacher relationship is crucial.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-child-teacher-relationship-is-crucial/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d3/kinky-friedman-2471_children_the-child-teacher-relationship-is-crucia_2847387.png)

> [If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/if-you-gotta-kill-two-birds-might-as-well-get-stoned/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Bird](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bird/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/kinky-friedman-2471_bird_if-you-gotta-kill-two-birds-might-as-wel_220802.png)

> [I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-just-want-texas-to-be-number-one-in-something-other-than-executions/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Property](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/property/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92b/kinky-friedman-2471_property_i-just-want-texas-to-be-number-one-in-so_686694.png)

> [“Politics is the only field of human endeavor where the more experience you have, the worse you get.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/politics-is-the-only-field-of-human-endeavor-where-the-more/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Experience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/experience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/kinky-friedman-2471_experience_politics-is-the-only-field-of-human-ende_2794081.png)

> [The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-system-is-not-perfect-until-it-s-perfect-let-s-do-away-with-the/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/675/kinky-friedman-2471_death_the-system-is-not-perfect-until-it-s-per_80167.png)

> [I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-want-to-fight-the-wussification-of-the-state-of-texas-i-want-to/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Fighting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fighting/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/kinky-friedman-2471_fighting_i-want-to-fight-the-wussification-of-the_2284136.png)

> [No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/no-nothing-has-changed-in-my-life-at-all-and-nothing-would-change-if/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0bc/kinky-friedman-2471_change_no-nothing-has-changed-in-my-life-at-all_3062056.png)

> [And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/and-i-think-musicians-can-better-run-this-state-than-politicians-and/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3b/kinky-friedman-2471_hell_and-i-think-musicians-can-better-run-thi_2188476.png)

> [Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/whether-your-destination-is-heaven-or-hell-you-always-have-to-change/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Dallas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dallas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf7/kinky-friedman-2471_dallas_whether-your-destination-is-heaven-or-he_1007301.png)

> [You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/you-ve-got-to-find-what-you-love-and-let-it-kill-you-i-don-t-think/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Forget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forget/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07d/kinky-friedman-2471_forget_you-ve-got-to-find-what-you-love-and-let_2397115.png)

> [My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/my-plan-is-to-bring-back-like-the-bracero-program-from-1944-that-ran/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Borders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/borders/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3fc/kinky-friedman-2471_borders_my-plan-is-to-bring-back-like-the-bracer_203991.png)

> [Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/friday-night-was-the-night-most-people-thought-they-were-supposed-to/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Friday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friday/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fa/kinky-friedman-2471_friday_friday-night-was-the-night-most-people-t_407893.png)

> [Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/well-i-just-said-that-jesus-and-i-were-both-jewish-and-that-neither/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Countryside](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/countryside/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/470/kinky-friedman-2471_countryside_well-i-just-said-that-jesus-and-i-were-b_2453383.png)

> [The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don't have a state tax there, and that's why Texas…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-reason-educational-spending-in-texas-is-so-low-is-because-you-don/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Bigs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bigs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91c/kinky-friedman-2471_bigs_the-reason-educational-spending-in-texas_1828469.png)

> [I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-ve-been-in-true-love-many-times-i-just-try-to-avoid-it-as-much-as/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Hostage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hostage/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a65/kinky-friedman-2471_hostage_i-ve-been-in-true-love-many-times-i-just_2235723.jpg)

> [The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/the-only-thing-that-really-differentiates-texas-from-any-other-place/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Amount](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amount/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/191/kinky-friedman-2471_amount_the-only-thing-that-really-differentiate_1263722.jpg)

> [And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/and-i-ll-tell-you-another-thing-you-won-t-find-any-candidate-that/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Candidate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/candidate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a67/kinky-friedman-2471_candidate_and-i-ll-tell-you-another-thing-you-won_1607151.jpg)

> [I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-m-not-afraid-to-live-i-m-not-afraid-to-fail-i-m-not-afraid-to/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Afraid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/afraid/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/678/kinky-friedman-2471_afraid_i-m-not-afraid-to-live-i-m-not-afraid-to_1763056.jpg)

> [Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/wandering-around-back-stage-at-a-willie-nelson-concert-is-a-bit-like/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93f/kinky-friedman-2471_action_wandering-around-back-stage-at-a-willie_1108438.jpg)

> [Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/most-people-of-course-spend-their-lives-caring-about-the-wrong-things/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Caring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caring/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87a/kinky-friedman-2471_caring_most-people-of-course-spend-their-lives_2021999.png)

> [“see the people on the sidewalk?...aren't you glad you're not one of them? they're all so self-importantly going nowhere...they just have no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/see-the-people-on-the-sidewalk-aren-t-you-glad-you-re-not-one-of-them/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Sidewalk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sidewalk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a26/kinky-friedman-2471_sidewalk_see-the-people-on-the-sidewalk-aren-t-yo_714195.png)

> [“Never re-elect anybody”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/never-re-elect-anybody/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Elect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/elect/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e56/kinky-friedman-2471_elect_never-re-elect-anybody-1008107_1008107.png)

> [I see an issue I like, and I support it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-see-an-issue-i-like-and-i-support-it/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Issue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/issue/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91f/kinky-friedman-2471_issue_i-see-an-issue-i-like-and-i-support-it-2_2221127.png)

> [I want to see a Jew in the White house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-want-to-see-a-jew-in-the-white-house/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9c/kinky-friedman-2471_home_i-want-to-see-a-jew-in-the-white-house-2_2473279.png)

> [If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/if-you-don-t-love-jesus-go-to-hell/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Go to hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/go-to-hell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39a/kinky-friedman-2471_go-to-hell_if-you-don-t-love-jesus-go-to-hell-30466_3046651.png)

> [I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-m-not-for-the-parties-i-m-for-texas/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5b/kinky-friedman-2471_inspirational_i-m-not-for-the-parties-i-m-for-texas-24_2494017.png)

## Kinky Friedman by topic

[People (21)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/kinky-friedman/) [Ifs (16)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/kinky-friedman/) [Texas (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/texas/kinky-friedman/) [Politics (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/politics/kinky-friedman/) [Inspirational (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/kinky-friedman/) [Love (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/kinky-friedman/) [World (11)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/kinky-friedman/) [Life (10)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/kinky-friedman/)

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                        "text": "I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!",
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                        "text": "My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.",
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                        "text": "The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.",
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                        "text": "And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.",
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                        "text": "Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today. That's why they don't get linen.",
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