---
title: "Best John Bishop Quotes"
description: "John Bishop is an English comedian, presenter, actor, and former semiprofessional footballer. His first television appearance was in 2007 on the RTÉ top..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b199/author-john-bishop-4398.jpg"
---

![Portrait of John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b199/author-john-bishop-4398.jpg)

# John Bishop

(1966)   Comedian

 **111** quotes in **407** categories

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John Bishop is a comedian, best known for *Stop Doing That Sh\*t*.

## Quick Facts About John Bishop

Born November 30, 1966

Profession Comedian

Notable works Stop Doing That Sh\*t

## About John Bishop

John Bishop is an English comedian, presenter, actor, and former semiprofessional footballer. His first television appearance was in 2007 on the RTÉ topical-comedy show The Panel, where he was a regular panelist until 2008. He subsequently appeared in series three and four of the E4 teen drama Skins and the Ken Loach film Route Irish. He has also hosted his own shows, such as John Bishop's Britain (2010–2011), John Bishop's Only Joking (2013), and two versions of The John Bishop Show. He also has played the companion Dan Lewis of the Thirteenth Doctor in Doctor Who from 2021 to 2022. He had a regular Sunday slot on Liverpool radio station Radio City called Bishop's Sunday Service. He is also known for his charity work, most notably raising £4.2 million for Sport Relief 2012.

##  Quotes by John Bishop · Page 2

> [An accent like mine defines you regionally, but it also gives you a class identity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/an-accent-like-mine-defines-you-regionally-but-it-also-gives-you-a/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e12/john-bishop-4398_accent_an-accent-like-mine-defines-you-regional_2602943.png)

> [By doing the comedy you don't get heckled by your own wife.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/by-doing-the-comedy-you-don-t-get-heckled-by-your-own-wife/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/777/john-bishop-4398_comedy_by-doing-the-comedy-you-don-t-get-heckle_785097.png)

> [I'm a big believer that if you touch it, you can believe in it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-m-a-big-believer-that-if-you-touch-it-you-can-believe-in-it/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/john-bishop-4398_believe_i-m-a-big-believer-that-if-you-touch-it_562735.png)

> [I haven't met a comedian who is judgemental of other comedians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-haven-t-met-a-comedian-who-is-judgemental-of-other-comedians/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Comedian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c34/john-bishop-4398_comedian_i-haven-t-met-a-comedian-who-is-judgemen_2438630.png)

> [I think there's more to be happy about than sad about on a daily basis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-think-there-s-more-to-be-happy-about-than-sad-about-on-a-daily-basis/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95b/john-bishop-4398_daily_i-think-there-s-more-to-be-happy-about-t_1197240.png)

> [On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/on-his-teenage-son-to-be-honest-i-m-not-sure-the-same-kid-comes-home/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Being honest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-honest/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9d/john-bishop-4398_being-honest_on-his-teenage-son-to-be-honest-i-m-not_1652837.png)

> [I'm not from the generation that took chances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-m-not-from-the-generation-that-took-chances/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cde/john-bishop-4398_chances_i-m-not-from-the-generation-that-took-ch_962210.png)

> [I've learned more about having more time as I've got older.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-ve-learned-more-about-having-more-time-as-i-ve-got-older/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57c/john-bishop-4398_about_i-ve-learned-more-about-having-more-time_2411129.png)

> [When I was 10 I had a bone disease called osteomyelitis; they said if they didn't operate, I had 24 hours to live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-was-10-i-had-a-bone-disease-called-osteomyelitis-they-said-if/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2d/john-bishop-4398_24-hours_when-i-was-10-i-had-a-bone-disease-calle_406537.png)

> [In fact, most married couples who live together would be quite happy to only see their partner twice a year, and to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/in-fact-most-married-couples-who-live-together-would-be-quite-happy/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Couples](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/couples/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d5/john-bishop-4398_couples_in-fact-most-married-couples-who-live-to_1209097.png)

> [I started at 34 and I didn't go full time until I was 40. When I say started, I mean the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-started-at-34-and-i-didn-t-go-full-time-until-i-was-40-when-i-say/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/john-bishop-4398_first-time_i-started-at-34-and-i-didn-t-go-full-tim_187777.png)

> [It's very gratifying sometimes to make yourself the butt of the joke because it bursts your bubble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/it-s-very-gratifying-sometimes-to-make-yourself-the-butt-of-the-joke/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33d/john-bishop-4398_butt_it-s-very-gratifying-sometimes-to-make-y_1837708.png)

> [In 2006, I left my job in sales and marketing to go full-time as a comedian, and I started off doing panto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/in-2006-i-left-my-job-in-sales-and-marketing-to-go-full-time-as-a/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Comedian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f37/john-bishop-4398_comedian_in-2006-i-left-my-job-in-sales-and-marke_3211050.png)

> [When I was 30 we had two kids, a third on he way. I was working for a pharmaceutical company. I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-was-30-we-had-two-kids-a-third-on-he-way-i-was-working-for-a/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Business](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/business/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e8/john-bishop-4398_business_when-i-was-30-we-had-two-kids-a-third-on_506137.png)

> [I would never claim to be an actor as I have never had any training and apart from being in a panto,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-would-never-claim-to-be-an-actor-as-i-have-never-had-any-training/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff0/john-bishop-4398_acted_i-would-never-claim-to-be-an-actor-as-i_1432626.png)

> [When I write something down it doesn't look funny to me. It's about the environment, it's all in the moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-write-something-down-it-doesn-t-look-funny-to-me-it-s-about/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c21/john-bishop-4398_about_when-i-write-something-down-it-doesn-t-l_1784478.png)

> [What you have to do as a comedian, that I suppose is quite difficult, is you have to end it. All the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/what-you-have-to-do-as-a-comedian-that-i-suppose-is-quite-difficult/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Comedian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/john-bishop-4398_comedian_what-you-have-to-do-as-a-comedian-that-i_2250441.png)

> [When I go out with my mates I'm never the centre of attention. Most of them, and they're probably right, keep telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-go-out-with-my-mates-i-m-never-the-centre-of-attention-most-of/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20d/john-bishop-4398_attention_when-i-go-out-with-my-mates-i-m-never-th_2232404.png)

> [You have to have that emotional investment in the jokes that you're saying otherwise they actually don't work. You can say exactly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/you-have-to-have-that-emotional-investment-in-the-jokes-that-you-re/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2f/john-bishop-4398_believe_you-have-to-have-that-emotional-investme_2198241.jpg)

> [When I started doing arenas, because of the screens, I was back to getting the reaction of a very small room. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-started-doing-arenas-because-of-the-screens-i-was-back-to/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/john-bishop-4398_people_when-i-started-doing-arenas-because-of-t_2413188.jpg)

> [When I took my kids to see the house that we're buying I took them in the car to the estate I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-i-took-my-kids-to-see-the-house-that-we-re-buying-i-took-them-in/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Buying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buying/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a0/john-bishop-4398_buying_when-i-took-my-kids-to-see-the-house-tha_2359345.png)

> [I was right in the middle of a story and leading to a punch line and then I just heard 'John John'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-was-right-in-the-middle-of-a-story-and-leading-to-a-punch-line-and/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d1/john-bishop-4398_find_i-was-right-in-the-middle-of-a-story-and_2319888.png)

> [Often you'd find yourself exhausted backstage during a matinee with glitter on your face, asking a colleague, 'Who's your gas supplier?' At…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/often-you-d-find-yourself-exhausted-backstage-during-a-matinee-with/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Drama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drama/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/john-bishop-4398_drama_often-you-d-find-yourself-exhausted-back_1730941.png)

> [When you start doing television, you want a transcript of what you're going to say, and every time I've had to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/when-you-start-doing-television-you-want-a-transcript-of-what-you-re/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/800/john-bishop-4398_alive_when-you-start-doing-television-you-want_1959868.png)

> [Being on stage, telling jokes and telling stories is where I feel the most at home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/being-on-stage-telling-jokes-and-telling-stories-is-where-i-feel-the/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b84/john-bishop-4398_being_being-on-stage-telling-jokes-and-telling_471821.png)

> [Some families out there have unimaginably tough lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/some-families-out-there-have-unimaginably-tough-lives/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/families/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/john-bishop-4398_families_some-families-out-there-have-unimaginabl_2851285.png)

> [Something can only go wrong if you know what you're doing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/something-can-only-go-wrong-if-you-know-what-you-re-doing/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8dc/john-bishop-4398_doing_something-can-only-go-wrong-if-you-know_3066568.png)

> [It's nice to have the family around, as I have been on tour for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/it-s-nice-to-have-the-family-around-as-i-have-been-on-tour-for-a-while/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d9/john-bishop-4398_around_it-s-nice-to-have-the-family-around-as-i_1150856.png)

> [In my comedy when there's a victim, it's me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/in-my-comedy-when-there-s-a-victim-it-s-me/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b07/john-bishop-4398_comedy_in-my-comedy-when-there-s-a-victim-it-s_1685728.png)

> [I've never had a piercing before. I thought I'd be cool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-ve-never-had-a-piercing-before-i-thought-i-d-be-cool/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8f/john-bishop-4398_before_i-ve-never-had-a-piercing-before-i-thoug_529904.png)

> [There comes a time in your life when you become comfortable in your own skin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/there-comes-a-time-in-your-life-when-you-become-comfortable-in-your/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/236/john-bishop-4398_comfortable_there-comes-a-time-in-your-life-when-you_2341153.png)

> [You can't pretend you're not part of the world that you come from.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/you-can-t-pretend-you-re-not-part-of-the-world-that-you-come-from/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee6/john-bishop-4398_come_you-can-t-pretend-you-re-not-part-of-the_238224.png)

> [My kids get annoyed if you ask them what their GCSE results are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/my-kids-get-annoyed-if-you-ask-them-what-their-gcse-results-are/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d22/john-bishop-4398_annoyed_my-kids-get-annoyed-if-you-ask-them-what_206677.png)

> [I 100 percent do not see myself as the new Piers Morgan!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-100-percent-do-not-see-myself-as-the-new-piers-morgan/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Fame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fame/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/437/john-bishop-4398_fame_i-100-percent-do-not-see-myself-as-the-n_599249.png)

> [You have to spend four hours filming a 30-minute program. That seems mental to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/you-have-to-spend-four-hours-filming-a-30-minute-program-that-seems/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/972/john-bishop-4398_filming_you-have-to-spend-four-hours-filming-a-3_1478215.png)

> [I am in my late 40s now, so I wake up fatter than when I went to bed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-am-in-my-late-40s-now-so-i-wake-up-fatter-than-when-i-went-to-bed/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-bishop-4398_fatter_i-am-in-my-late-40s-now-so-i-wake-up-fat_1823613.png)

> [Everyone at Liverpool is committed to the club and working as hard as possible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/everyone-at-liverpool-is-committed-to-the-club-and-working-as-hard-as/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f63/john-bishop-4398_club_everyone-at-liverpool-is-committed-to-th_1865926.png)

> [I grew up on a council estate. No one was working in our house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-grew-up-on-a-council-estate-no-one-was-working-in-our-house/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-bishop-4398_estate_i-grew-up-on-a-council-estate-no-one-was_975286.png)

> [I was going through a divorce so I wasn't having the best time, but I wasn't going to the doctor for Prozac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-was-going-through-a-divorce-so-i-wasn-t-having-the-best-time-but-i/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db6/john-bishop-4398_best_i-was-going-through-a-divorce-so-i-wasn_1860297.png)

> [I want to do straight, dramatic acting so I do a hit show when you get chased by aliens!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bishop/i-want-to-do-straight-dramatic-acting-so-i-do-a-hit-show-when-you-get/)

[John Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bishop/)

[Acting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acting/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67e/john-bishop-4398_acting_i-want-to-do-straight-dramatic-acting-so_527400.png)

## John Bishop by topic

[Comedy (23)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/john-bishop/) [People (13)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/john-bishop/) [Comedian (11)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/john-bishop/) [Time (10)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/john-bishop/) [Theatre (10)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/theatre/john-bishop/) [Humor (10)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/john-bishop/)

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