---
title: "52 Jimmy Kimmel Quotes - Famous Television presenter (Serious Goose)"
description: "James Christian Kimmel is an American television host and comedian. He is best known as the host and executive producer of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, which has..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jimmy-kimmel-49980.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jimmy-kimmel-49980.jpg)

# Jimmy Kimmel

(1967)   Television Presenter   Italy

 **52** quotes in **219** categories

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Jimmy Kimmel is a television presenter from Italy, best known for *Serious Goose*.

## Quick Facts About Jimmy Kimmel

Born November 13, 1967

Nationality Italy

Profession Television Presenter

Notable works Serious Goose

Spouse Molly McNearney

## About Jimmy Kimmel

James Christian Kimmel is an American television host and comedian. He is best known as the host and executive producer of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, which has aired on ABC since 2003. Kimmel has hosted the Primetime Emmy Awards three times, in 2012, 2016 and 2020, and the Academy Awards four times, in 2017, 2018, 2023, and 2024.

## Awards & Honors

Time 100 Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Game Show Host star on Hollywood Walk of Fame Diamond Play Button

##  Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

> [I can't be as flip as I once was.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-can-t-be-as-flip-as-i-once-was/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/jimmy-kimmel-12942_flip_i-can-t-be-as-flip-as-i-once-was-3210086_3210086.jpg)

> [I only get unusual ailments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-only-get-unusual-ailments/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Ailments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ailments/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jimmy-kimmel-12942_ailments_i-only-get-unusual-ailments-213982_213982.jpg)

> [Almost every week, someone's mad at me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/almost-every-week-someone-s-mad-at-me/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/314/jimmy-kimmel-12942_almost_almost-every-week-someone-s-mad-at-me-25_2546681.jpg)

> [I describe myself as a human being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-describe-myself-as-a-human-being/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd3/jimmy-kimmel-12942_being_i-describe-myself-as-a-human-being-23294_2329486.jpg)

> [Zombies are the new Betty White.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/zombies-are-the-new-betty-white/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/783/jimmy-kimmel-12942_quote_zombies-are-the-new-betty-white-2171807_2171807.jpg)

> [I never imagined being on television.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-never-imagined-being-on-television/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ef/jimmy-kimmel-12942_being_i-never-imagined-being-on-television-105_1051437.jpg)

> [I'm a terrible golfer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-m-a-terrible-golfer/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f9/jimmy-kimmel-12942_golfer_i-m-a-terrible-golfer-2047448_2047448.jpg)

> [People's lives are boring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/people-s-lives-are-boring/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Boredom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boredom/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37a/jimmy-kimmel-12942_boredom_people-s-lives-are-boring-2797533_2797533.jpg)

> [I wish Vine had Tivo. Who can sit through all that?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-wish-vine-had-tivo-who-can-sit-through-all-that/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/jimmy-kimmel-12942_vine_i-wish-vine-had-tivo-who-can-sit-through_29172.jpg)

> [I have like fifteen televisions in my house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-have-like-fifteen-televisions-in-my-house/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f99/jimmy-kimmel-12942_fifteen_i-have-like-fifteen-televisions-in-my-ho_2483695.jpg)

> [You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/you-don-t-need-to-exorcise-your-personal-demons-onstage/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Demons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/demons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec0/jimmy-kimmel-12942_demons_you-don-t-need-to-exorcise-your-personal_495185.jpg)

> [It's important not to forget today that mothers can also be annoying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/it-s-important-not-to-forget-today-that-mothers-can-also-be-annoying/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jimmy-kimmel-12942_mother_it-s-important-not-to-forget-today-that_2887073.jpg)

> [I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-go-to-costco-every-weekend-it-s-my-favorite-part-of-the-week/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3a/jimmy-kimmel-12942_every_i-go-to-costco-every-weekend-it-s-my-fav_1082936.jpg)

> [I did not have any delusions of grandeur as a kid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-did-not-have-any-delusions-of-grandeur-as-a-kid/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b8/jimmy-kimmel-12942_any_i-did-not-have-any-delusions-of-grandeur_1452780.jpg)

> [I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-m-a-creative-consultant-whatever-that-means/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Consultant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/consultant/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e03/jimmy-kimmel-12942_consultant_i-m-a-creative-consultant-whatever-that_666651.jpg)

> [If you don't have a crazy facebook friend, you are the crazy facebook friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/if-you-don-t-have-a-crazy-facebook-friend-you-are-the-crazy-facebook/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18a/jimmy-kimmel-12942_facebook_if-you-don-t-have-a-crazy-facebook-frien_1876764.jpg)

> [I get product placement and everything, but I'm sorry, Superman's father was NOT named Purell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-get-product-placement-and-everything-but-i-m-sorry-superman-s/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Comic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comic/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8b/jimmy-kimmel-12942_quote_i-get-product-placement-and-everything-b_955841.jpg)

> [Congratulations to Charlie Sheen, who's marrying his longtime girlfriend. I have to say...Charlie Sheen has a longtime girlfriend?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/congratulations-to-charlie-sheen-who-s-marrying-his-longtime/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Jokes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jokes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e6/jimmy-kimmel-12942_jokes_congratulations-to-charlie-sheen-who-s-m_1717355.jpg)

> [The people who host the red carpet preview shows don't know it, but they died and are in hell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/the-people-who-host-the-red-carpet-preview-shows-don-t-know-it-but/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56f/jimmy-kimmel-12942_red-carpet_the-people-who-host-the-red-carpet-previ_1522500.jpg)

> [I don't know if we can call ourselves everyday Joes. I think Supermen is more appropriate. We're just trying to take back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-don-t-know-if-we-can-call-ourselves-everyday-joes-i-think-supermen/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Comic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comic/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce9/jimmy-kimmel-12942_comic_i-don-t-know-if-we-can-call-ourselves-ev_588090.jpg)

> [I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-still-love-comic-books-when-you-have-a-kid-that-s-an-excuse-to-keep/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Books](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/books/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dd/jimmy-kimmel-12942_books_i-still-love-comic-books-when-you-have-a_2900812.jpg)

> [That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/that-s-my-main-flaw-i-always-think-authority-figures-or-my-boss-is/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/jimmy-kimmel-12942_always_that-s-my-main-flaw-i-always-think-autho_1986975.jpg)

> [I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-know-there-are-like-12-rules-for-late-night-a-desk-a-band-will/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/997/jimmy-kimmel-12942_band_i-know-there-are-like-12-rules-for-late_2105599.jpg)

> [I don't want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-don-t-want-to-ruin-it-for-you-but-at-the-end-voldemort-kills-harry/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b8/jimmy-kimmel-12942_kills_i-don-t-want-to-ruin-it-for-you-but-at-t_303059.jpg)

> [When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/when-i-was-on-the-radio-i-used-to-be-able-to-go-a-lot-farther-than-i/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42c/jimmy-kimmel-12942_able_when-i-was-on-the-radio-i-used-to-be-abl_358824.jpg)

> [Did you have trouble at the airport this week? I had to throw away all my make-up. They said it's because of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/did-you-have-trouble-at-the-airport-this-week-i-had-to-throw-away-all/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/jimmy-kimmel-12942_quote_did-you-have-trouble-at-the-airport-this_1203331.jpg)

> [Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/hurricane-katrina-has-been-particularly-hard-on-president-bush-who/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Hurricane katrina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurricane-katrina/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a26/jimmy-kimmel-12942_hurricane-katrina_hurricane-katrina-has-been-particularly_228828.jpg)

> [When I was emceeing Win Ben Stein's Money, I actually fell asleep during the show a few times. I would sit on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/when-i-was-emceeing-win-ben-stein-s-money-i-actually-fell-asleep/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/money/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c90/jimmy-kimmel-12942_money_when-i-was-emceeing-win-ben-stein-s-mone_1917175.jpg)

> [The TSA downgraded the threat level for flights between the U.S. and England from severe to high. So if you're nervous about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/the-tsa-downgraded-the-threat-level-for-flights-between-the-u-s-and/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Plane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/plane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e3/jimmy-kimmel-12942_plane_the-tsa-downgraded-the-threat-level-for_509258.jpg)

> [It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/it-s-funny-how-all-of-this-has-worked-out-i-wasn-t-popular-in-high/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/jimmy-kimmel-12942_drunken_it-s-funny-how-all-of-this-has-worked-ou_793593.jpg)

> [The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/the-truth-is-we-have-this-idea-that-late-night-is-about-creativity/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa8/jimmy-kimmel-12942_about_the-truth-is-we-have-this-idea-that-late_2278731.jpg)

> [There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/there-s-an-air-of-mystery-around-the-masons-but-the-reality-is-that/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/267/jimmy-kimmel-12942_air_there-s-an-air-of-mystery-around-the-mas_1925511.jpg)

> [My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/my-aunt-and-uncle-are-clearly-civilians/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8be/jimmy-kimmel-12942_aunt_my-aunt-and-uncle-are-clearly-civilians_16849.jpg)

> [I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-have-had-a-lot-of-experience-in-broadcasting/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Broadcasting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broadcasting/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/492/jimmy-kimmel-12942_broadcasting_i-have-had-a-lot-of-experience-in-broadc_846598.jpg)

> [I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/i-don-t-really-need-to-be-dirty-to-be-funny/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55b/jimmy-kimmel-12942_comedy_i-don-t-really-need-to-be-dirty-to-be-fu_3101473.jpg)

> [Rainbows are God's way of telling us that he likes to jazz things up sometimes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/rainbows-are-god-s-way-of-telling-us-that-he-likes-to-jazz-things-up/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Jazz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jazz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a1/jimmy-kimmel-12942_rainbows_rainbows-are-god-s-way-of-telling-us-tha_1696535.jpg)

> [Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/real-emotion-is-good-or-doing-a-good-job-of-faking-real-emotion/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ac/jimmy-kimmel-12942_doing_real-emotion-is-good-or-doing-a-good-job_786273.jpg)

> [How is it possible that no one has invented a puppy that stays a puppy?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/how-is-it-possible-that-no-one-has-invented-a-puppy-that-stays-a-puppy/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/353/jimmy-kimmel-12942_dogs_how-is-it-possible-that-no-one-has-inven_2193263.jpg)

> [If I could have one super power, it would be the ability to read.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/if-i-could-have-one-super-power-it-would-be-the-ability-to-read/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Ability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/358/jimmy-kimmel-12942_ability_if-i-could-have-one-super-power-it-would_497204.jpg)

> [No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-kimmel/no-matter-who-it-is-i-hate-to-see-people-losing-their-jobs-i-really-do/)

[Jimmy Kimmel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-kimmel/)

[Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/jimmy-kimmel-12942_hate_no-matter-who-it-is-i-hate-to-see-people_214549.jpg)

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