---
title: "64 Jennifer Rardin Quotes - Famous Novelist (Once Bitten, Twice Shy)"
description: "Jennifer Rardin was an American urban fantasy author, known for writing the Jaz Parks series. Browse 64 Jennifer Rardin quotes."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b137/author-donald-j-boudreaux-48736.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b137/author-donald-j-boudreaux-48736.jpg)

# Jennifer Rardin

(1965–2010)   Novelist   United States

 **64** quotes in **395** categories

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Jennifer Rardin was a novelist from the United States, best known for *Once Bitten, Twice Shy*.

## Quick Facts About Jennifer Rardin

Born April 28, 1965

Died September 20, 2010

Nationality United States

Profession Novelist

Notable works Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Known for Jaz Parks series

## About Jennifer Rardin

Jennifer Rardin was an American urban fantasy author, known for writing the Jaz Parks series.

##  Quotes by Jennifer Rardin

> [Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/cassandra-he-said-i-hope-you-know-that-poaching-muppets-is-illegal-in/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Country](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/country/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bf/jennifer-rardin-10609_country_cassandra-he-said-i-hope-you-know-that-p_1366315.png)

> [There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/there-you-go-use-your-granddaughter-to-pick-up-women-that-ll-get-you/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/192/jennifer-rardin-10609_granddaughter_there-you-go-use-your-granddaughter-to-p_3071345.png)

> [All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/all-you-can-do-is-hang-in-there-and-hope-you-don-t-get-motion/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c73/jennifer-rardin-10609_can-do_all-you-can-do-is-hang-in-there-and-hope_1231366.png)

> [“I can't belly dance.' Yes, you can. It's in your fi--' Will you stop reading my goddamn file!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/i-can-t-belly-dance-yes-you-can-it-s-in-your-fi-will-you-stop-reading/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Belly dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belly-dance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6d/jennifer-rardin-10609_belly-dance_i-can-t-belly-dance-yes-you-can-it-s-in_322958.png)

> [Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/apparently-you-don-t-have-to-observe-the-rules-of-etiquette-when/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Etiquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/etiquette/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e46/jennifer-rardin-10609_etiquette_apparently-you-don-t-have-to-observe-the_2121707.png)

> [Sounds good. Drive safe." He sighed, knowing I really meant, "Take care of my Mercedes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/sounds-good-drive-safe-he-sighed-knowing-i-really-meant-take-care-of/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3b/jennifer-rardin-10609_care_sounds-good-drive-safe-he-sighed-knowing_875444.png)

> [I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/i-m-sure-it-s-nothing-switching-to-a-light-beer-won-t-cure/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Beer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb0/jennifer-rardin-10609_beer_i-m-sure-it-s-nothing-switching-to-a-lig_1686966.png)

> [Hey, if you're going to price yourself, I say go high.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/hey-if-you-re-going-to-price-yourself-i-say-go-high/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/862/jennifer-rardin-10609_hey_hey-if-you-re-going-to-price-yourself-i_2196369.png)

> [So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/so-of-course-that-was-the-moment-my-motherboard-decided-to-do-a-short/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69b/jennifer-rardin-10609_blood_so-of-course-that-was-the-moment-my-moth_334692.jpg)

> [Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/sometimes-things-would-be-so-much-simpler-if-you-could-just-pull-out/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Bad guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-guy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a0/jennifer-rardin-10609_bad-guy_sometimes-things-would-be-so-much-simple_170526.png)

> [“As I was leaving, a door opened and a man looked out. I got the feeling we were having a mutual oh-crap-you're-not-supposed-to-see-me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/as-i-was-leaving-a-door-opened-and-a-man-looked-out-i-got-the-feeling/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba2/jennifer-rardin-10609_leaving_as-i-was-leaving-a-door-opened-and-a-man_939115.png)

> [The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/the-padlock-clicked-open-a-voice-soundingoddly-like-south-parks-s/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Brain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43b/jennifer-rardin-10609_brain_the-padlock-clicked-open-a-voice-soundin_75675.png)

> [Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/hey-if-you-decided-to-tear-up-the-town-you-can-always-use-the/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Bread](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bread/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c34/jennifer-rardin-10609_bread_hey-if-you-decided-to-tear-up-the-town-y_2485804.jpg)

> [Jumping up and down is definitely sexy," Vayl assured me. "Would you like to do it two or three times right now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/jumping-up-and-down-is-definitely-sexy-vayl-assured-me-would-you-like/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Business](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/business/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb3/jennifer-rardin-10609_business_jumping-up-and-down-is-definitely-sexy-v_51400.png)

> [Have you dared to eat my son?" I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/have-you-dared-to-eat-my-son-i-laughed-actually-it-started-out-as/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcc/jennifer-rardin-10609_giggle_have-you-dared-to-eat-my-son-i-laughed-a_154140.png)

> [Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/still-enmeshed-from-the-knees-down-vayl-flopped-off-the-cabinet/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a99/jennifer-rardin-10609_cabinets_still-enmeshed-from-the-knees-down-vayl_707339.png)

> [“Your father sounds frightening," Trayton said. "He once made a general cry." "No." "I shit you not. The guy had to retire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/your-father-sounds-frightening-trayton-said-he-once-made-a-general/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd7/jennifer-rardin-10609_humor_your-father-sounds-frightening-trayton-s_2034334.png)

> [communication is such a two-edged sword for guys. On the one hand, they almost always mean what they say. Refreshing, I know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/communication-is-such-a-two-edged-sword-for-guys-on-the-one-hand-they/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/jennifer-rardin-10609_communication_communication-is-such-a-two-edged-sword_95113.png)

> [“Is your butt buzzing?" Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/is-your-butt-buzzing-cole-you-have-the-worst-timing-i-jerked-upright/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb5/jennifer-rardin-10609_humor_is-your-butt-buzzing-cole-you-have-the-w_1206869.jpg)

> [“It turned out that wandering aimlessly wasn’t the best way to find a pack of werewolves. But stopping and sharing a quiet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/it-turned-out-that-wandering-aimlessly-wasn-t-the-best-way-to-find-a/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca3/jennifer-rardin-10609_time_it-turned-out-that-wandering-aimlessly-w_1256587.jpg)

> [You got a problem?" he drawled, obviously expecting me to pee my pants before falling to the ground and groveling like an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/you-got-a-problem-he-drawled-obviously-expecting-me-to-pee-my-pants/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Approach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approach/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a8/jennifer-rardin-10609_approach_you-got-a-problem-he-drawled-obviously-e_1719692.jpg)

> [Unbelievable. After what just happened between us no, I don’t have any right. None at all. We’re barely a couple. We’re not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/unbelievable-after-what-just-happened-between-us-no-i-don-t-have-any/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/jennifer-rardin-10609_cheat_unbelievable-after-what-just-happened-be_45744.png)

> [Vayl, this is not a pleasant moment for me," I confessed. "No?" "Locked in a windowless, doorless room with a dancing, headless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/vayl-this-is-not-a-pleasant-moment-for-me-i-confessed-no-locked-in-a/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Dancing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dancing/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/jennifer-rardin-10609_dancing_vayl-this-is-not-a-pleasant-moment-for-m_2620395.jpg)

> [Now he looked at the classic parked on the street and admitted, “I bought it soon after we met. I… had hoped…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/now-he-looked-at-the-classic-parked-on-the-street-and-admitted-i/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Chance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/jennifer-rardin-10609_chance_now-he-looked-at-the-classic-parked-on-t_2275664.jpg)

> [Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/fear-sucks-because-you-never-know-when-it-will-attack-sometimes-it/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c82/jennifer-rardin-10609_behind-you_fear-sucks-because-you-never-know-when-i_2708508.jpg)

> [“Cassandra watched him go, slumping a little as the distance between them grew. "He was so nice." "Yeah." "And look at that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/cassandra-watched-him-go-slumping-a-little-as-the-distance-between/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c34/jennifer-rardin-10609_cassandra-watched_cassandra-watched-him-go-slumping-a-litt_59325.png)

> [And then it hit me. One of those evil thoughts siblings get because, well, that's what we do. Looking over my shoulder…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/and-then-it-hit-me-one-of-those-evil-thoughts-siblings-get-because/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Beer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a91/jennifer-rardin-10609_beer_and-then-it-hit-me-one-of-those-evil-tho_2374683.jpg)

> [Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/besides-my-professional-goals-i-have-a-couple-of-private-ones-my-man/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f3/jennifer-rardin-10609_animal_besides-my-professional-goals-i-have-a-c_1060960.jpg)

> [“Now, here's what we do. You and I will find a back way out of this place. If we come across someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/now-here-s-what-we-do-you-and-i-will-find-a-back-way-out-of-this/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Bond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/jennifer-rardin-10609_bond_now-here-s-what-we-do-you-and-i-will-fin_2427764.png)

> [“Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he’ll totally swallow. Aha!“To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven’t tried my particular talent since Granny…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/quick-think-of-a-marvelous-excuse-he-ll-totally-swallow-aha-to/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af3/jennifer-rardin-10609_dance_quick-think-of-a-marvelous-excuse-he-ll_2509208.png)

> [I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/i-m-just-being-practial-i-knew-someday-i-might-have-to-bare-my-throat/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/976/jennifer-rardin-10609_asking_i-m-just-being-practial-i-knew-someday-i_2305828.jpg)

> [“I sat up. Slowly. Between the belly dancing, the fire, the visit to Dave and it's aftermath, the night had taken its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/i-sat-up-slowly-between-the-belly-dancing-the-fire-the-visit-to-dave/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/308/jennifer-rardin-10609_bad-thing_i-sat-up-slowly-between-the-belly-dancin_28061.jpg)

> [“Hot.” The last word, barely a whisper, lost itself in my hair as he pressed his lips to that spot just below…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/hot-the-last-word-barely-a-whisper-lost-itself-in-my-hair-as-he/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf5/jennifer-rardin-10609_gaze_hot-the-last-word-barely-a-whisper-lost_1416995.png)

> [“Cole!" Cassandra smacked him on the shoulder. "Wha-?" When he opened his mouth all you could see was half-chewed goo. "How old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/cole-cassandra-smacked-him-on-the-shoulder-wha-when-he-opened-his/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac1/jennifer-rardin-10609_brown-hair_cole-cassandra-smacked-him-on-the-should_2902107.jpg)

> [The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/the-girl-in-me-wanted-to-slap-lung-across-his-face-and-yell-get-your/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e91/jennifer-rardin-10609_buns_the-girl-in-me-wanted-to-slap-lung-acros_2463938.png)

> [Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/cool-now-i-can-steal-some-rich-old-coot-s-ferrari-and-go-fishing-for/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae8/jennifer-rardin-10609_ferrari_cool-now-i-can-steal-some-rich-old-coot_799467.png)

> [“WHAT?!" I felt the prickling along my scalp that signaled Big Anger. I wished I was the Queen of Hearts so I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/what-i-felt-the-prickling-along-my-scalp-that-signaled-big-anger-i/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/jennifer-rardin-10609_anger_what-i-felt-the-prickling-along-my-scalp_121548.png)

> [I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/i-am-driving-an-unfamiliar-vehicle-down-a-narrow-road-i-ve-never-seen/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Drive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drive/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f7/jennifer-rardin-10609_drive_i-am-driving-an-unfamiliar-vehicle-down_2201383.png)

> [“Who brings baby pictures on an international flight?" I hissed. "If I'd wanted my bare ass paraded in front of all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/who-brings-baby-pictures-on-an-international-flight-i-hissed-if-i-d/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/787/jennifer-rardin-10609_flight_who-brings-baby-pictures-on-an-internati_393456.png)

> [“Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-rardin/then-i-got-this-image-of-my-big-toe-painted-bright-red-suddenly/)

[Jennifer Rardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-rardin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1db/jennifer-rardin-10609_jaz-parks_then-i-got-this-image-of-my-big-toe-pain_1711425.png)

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                        "text": "Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.",
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                        "text": "“I can't belly dance.' Yes, you can. It's in your fi--' Will you stop reading my goddamn file!”",
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                        "text": "Sounds good. Drive safe.\" He sighed, knowing I really meant, \"Take care of my Mercedes.",
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                        "text": "So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.",
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                        "text": "Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.",
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                        "text": "The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!",
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                        "text": "Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.",
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                        "text": "Jumping up and down is definitely sexy,\" Vayl assured me. \"Would you like to do it two or three times right now before we get down to business?\" Sterling and Cole groaned at the same time \"Ewww!",
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                        "text": "Have you dared to eat my son?\" I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter.",
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                        "text": "Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and hard like a penguin who hasn't bought the whole flightless scenario.",
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                        "text": "“Your father sounds frightening,\" Trayton said. \"He once made a general cry.\" \"No.\" \"I shit you not. The guy had to retire after that. I mean, really, who's going to follow your orders after some damn colonel's reduced you to tears?”",
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                        "text": "communication is such a two-edged sword for guys. On the one hand, they almost always mean what they say. Refreshing, I know. On the other hand, getting them to actually say it can be like coaxing a corpse to tap-dance. Not that it can't be done. But it's so freaking exhausting. Not to mention the cost in heavyweight fishing line and Savion Glover videos.",
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                        "text": "“Is your butt buzzing?\" Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall. Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up.”",
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                        "text": "“It turned out that wandering aimlessly wasn’t the best way to find a pack of werewolves. But stopping and sharing a quiet moment worked like chum in an ocean full of great whites. Vayl and I had just risen and I was pausing to wipe the bark off my fanny when a mocking feminine voice from behind me said, “Aw, Krios, wasn’t that touching? Now can I rip them apart?”",
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                        "text": "You got a problem?\" he drawled, obviously expecting me to pee my pants before falling to the ground and groveling like an unworthy subject of the Emperor. And that was all it took. A new, screw-you attitude took precedence, trampling my fear under its boots. A highly dangerous approach, I still found it much easier to bear. \"Well it all goes back to my childhood….\" I began,",
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                        "text": "Unbelievable. After what just happened between us no, I don’t have any right. None at all. We’re barely a couple. We’re not even sleeping together. I have to-\" What in God’s name are you babbling about?\" \"You’re cheating on me!\" \"I never cheat.",
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                        "text": "Vayl, this is not a pleasant moment for me,\" I confessed. \"No?\" \"Locked in a windowless, doorless room with a dancing, headless corpse and a secret sucker that can move fast enought to tear us both a new one if I miss?",
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                        "text": "Now he looked at the classic parked on the street and admitted, “I bought it soon after we met. I… had hoped someday I might have this chance.” I pointed to the Galaxie. “You can’t possibly have felt like that for me then!” He turned to gaze into my eyes, laying his chin on my shoulder as he said softly, “I have loved you with everything in me from the moment I saw you.",
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                        "text": "Fear sucks. Because you never know when it will attack. Sometimes it sneaks up behind you, giggling like your best girlfriend from seventh grade. Then it whacks you on the back of the head, takes you straight to your knees before you realize what hit you. Other times you can see it coming, just a dot on the horizon, but you're like a canary in a cage. All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.",
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                        "text": "“Cassandra watched him go, slumping a little as the distance between them grew. \"He was so nice.\" \"Yeah.\" \"And look at that butt.\" I considered said item. \"Definitely superior. But not for Cassandra hands?\" She shook her head sadly. \"Another person stands between us now. He'll meet her within the month.\" \"Is she prettier than you?\" Cassandra started to smile. \"Well?\" \"No\" \"Ha!\" \"Jaz!\" \"Honey, we've got to take our victories where we can find them.”",
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                        "text": "And then it hit me. One of those evil thoughts siblings get because, well, that's what we do. Looking over my shoulder I said, \"You know, since you have some free time, maybe you could...never mind.\" \"What?\" \"Well it's just that, all those calories you've been drink - I mean - not burning off have kind of settled on your gut. I didn't want to mention anything,\" I said as Dave's hand stole to his midsection. \"But the general pointed out that you'd lost a few steps training-wise.\" I laughed and waved my hand. \"I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.",
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                        "text": "Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there's lots of Eastern Grays around this area. What do you say? Are you in?' Bergman looked at him like he'd just made the worst financial investment of his life. 'Kangaroos are wild animals. I've heard they claw like girl fighters and kick like jackhammers. You're going to get your skull crushed.' Cole held up a finger. 'Or I'm going to pet a kangaroo. How cool would that be?",
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                        "text": "“Now, here's what we do. You and I will find a back way out of this place. If we come across someone else, we make like a couple of lovesick teenagers. People generally hurry past heavy breathers. I get you to the parking lot, you vanish. Got it?\" He nodded. \"There's just one thing I've got to do before we go,\" he said. Before I could inquire, he grabbed me and planted a kiss square on my mouth. It was short but fiery, despite the grape flavoring, and when he let me go I wan panting. Holy crap!\" He smiled, not at all apologetically, and said, \"I've wanted to do that ever since I saw my first Bond movie.”",
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                        "text": "“Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he’ll totally swallow. Aha!“To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven’t tried my particular talent since Granny May signed me up for belly-dancing classes when I was fifteen.”And, by the way, why the hell did I consent to that? Or decide I loved it? Never mind, he’s buying it. In fact, he seems to be hot on the idea. Are his eyes glowing? And is Cole’s tongue hanging out? This is why I didn’t want to dance in the first place! “Anyway,” I rushed on. “I’m going to find a private place where nobody can see to laugh at me while you beat this tent”—or, more likely, these two idiots—“into submission.”",
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                        "text": "I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth.\" Jasmine, I cannot-\" Why not!\" Because you are not food!\" I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it. Vayl\"-I tried to keep my face straight- \"I'm not asking you to eat me.",
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                        "text": "“I sat up. Slowly. Between the belly dancing, the fire, the visit to Dave and it's aftermath, the night had taken its toll. You look like crap!\" Cole said merrily. \"I like the hair though.\" He made a camera frame with his thumbs and forefingers and in the genie voice from Aladdin said, \"Now what does this say to me? Homeless women? Tornado victim? Britney Spears? I've got it! Preschooler who's misplaced her gum!\" I regarded him balefully. \"You're a morning person, aren't you?\" You make that sound like a bad thing.\" Not if you stop talking.”",
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                        "text": "“Hot.” The last word, barely a whisper, lost itself in my hair as he pressed his lips to that spot just below my ear that can, apparently, flip the off switch in my brain. Before I realized it my hands were inside that jacket, stroking the hard planes of his chest and stomach. And then, as if moving without any prompting from me they reached down, undid his belt, pulled it loose, and…“Ahhh, that feels great,” I moaned.“I am completely grossed out over here!” Cassandra informed us.Vayl, who’d been peering down at me with an expression of utter disbelief, stared at Cassandra over the top of my head. “It is not what you think,” he assured her.“As if I’d do something that disgusting,” I said, pulling away from him, but keeping the belt, because the buckle relieved the itching so much better than fingernails. I continued using it to scratch the inflamed skin across my stomach as I sat down by Cassandra. “You are pathetic,” she told me. “I’d get all offended, but I’m pretty sure you’re right.”",
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                        "text": "“Cole!\" Cassandra smacked him on the shoulder. \"Wha-?\" When he opened his mouth all you could see was half-chewed goo. \"How old are you?\" I demanded. I threw shrimp at him and it got stuck in his tangle of wig hair. Bergman fished it out, wiped it off, and put it back on the serving dish. \"Now, thats disgusting,\" said Cassandra. \"Children!\" Vayl's voice boomed in our ears, loud and sudden enough to make us all jump guiltily. \"I trust you are all preforming actual work right now.\" \"Chill out, Vayl,\" I replied. \"Bergman is just conducting and experiment to see how vampires respond to ingesting brown hair dye.\" \"That makes me curious, Vayl,\" said Cole in a sticky, goodie-between-the-gums voice that reminded me of Winnie the Pooh after a major honey binge. \"Have you ever colored your hair? You know blonds have more fun.\" \"Not when they are in the hospital.”",
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                        "text": "The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, \"Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!",
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                        "text": "Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.",
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                        "text": "“WHAT?!\" I felt the prickling along my scalp that signaled Big Anger. I wished I was the Queen of Hearts so I could just order my little card soldiers to cut off Albert's head.”",
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                        "text": "I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?",
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                        "text": "“Who brings baby pictures on an international flight?\" I hissed. \"If I'd wanted my bare ass paraded in front of all the first-class ticket holders I'd have mooned everyone before we took off!”",
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                        "text": "“Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to match, screaming, \"What the hell is wrong with mah bad self?”",
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