---
title: "Best Howard Stern Quotes"
description: "Howard Allan Stern is an American broadcaster, comedian, and media personality. Browse 86 Howard Stern quotes."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-howard-stern-42463.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-howard-stern-42463.jpg)

# Howard Stern

(1954)   Actor   United States

 **86** quotes in **408** categories

Rate this collection:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

Howard Stern is an actor from the United States, best known for *Miss America*.

## Quick Facts About Howard Stern

Born January 12, 1954

Nationality United States

Profession Actor

Notable works Miss America

Spouse Beth Ostrosky Stern

## About Howard Stern

Howard Allan Stern is an American broadcaster, comedian, and media personality. He is best known for The Howard Stern Show, which rose to prominence through national syndication on terrestrial radio from 1986 to 2005; he has broadcast on SiriusXM since 2006.

##  Quotes by Howard Stern · Page 2

> [I'm not looking for a paycheck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-not-looking-for-a-paycheck/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/987/howard-stern-7904_looking_i-m-not-looking-for-a-paycheck-133338_133338.jpg)

> [What a crazy idea to put me on a family show!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/what-a-crazy-idea-to-put-me-on-a-family-show/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/howard-stern-7904_crazy_what-a-crazy-idea-to-put-me-on-a-family_821052.jpg)

> [Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/rick-shapiro-is-a-top-comedian/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Comedian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/howard-stern-7904_comedian_rick-shapiro-is-a-top-comedian-243379_243379.jpg)

> [I'm in a war, a cultural war.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-in-a-war-a-cultural-war/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6a/howard-stern-7904_cultural_i-m-in-a-war-a-cultural-war-476482_476482.jpg)

> [I've come to appreciate other people's talents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-ve-come-to-appreciate-other-people-s-talents/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddf/howard-stern-7904_appreciate_i-ve-come-to-appreciate-other-people-s-t_274080.jpg)

> [I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-think-i-could-create-a-cult-no-problem-the-hard-part-is-getting/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Cult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cult/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92c/howard-stern-7904_cult_i-think-i-could-create-a-cult-no-problem_1985196.jpg)

> [There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/there-are-a-lot-of-so-called-good-americans-who-are-really-a-bunch-of/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d30/howard-stern-7904_bums_there-are-a-lot-of-so-called-good-americ_2550416.jpg)

> [My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/my-show-was-revolutionary-ground-breaking-when-i-came-on-the-scene/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Breaking promises](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breaking-promises/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/818/howard-stern-7904_breaking-promises_my-show-was-revolutionary-ground-breakin_655075.jpg)

> [You can overthrow a country now with your phone. How cool is that?-Ralph Cirella thought on a friday night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/you-can-overthrow-a-country-now-with-your-phone-how-cool-is-that/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Friday night](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friday-night/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/howard-stern-7904_friday-night_you-can-overthrow-a-country-now-with-you_1325375.jpg)

> [I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-believe-i-am-doing-the-work-for-humanity-this-show-is-so-uplifting/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e6/howard-stern-7904_believe_i-believe-i-am-doing-the-work-for-humani_1465061.jpg)

> [I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-don-t-like-being-50-and-i-don-t-like-thinking-about-death/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bc/howard-stern-7904_death_i-don-t-like-being-50-and-i-don-t-like-t_1807792.jpg)

> [I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-on-the-air-five-hours-and-i-blurt-out-anything-in-my-head/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ec/howard-stern-7904_air_i-m-on-the-air-five-hours-and-i-blurt-ou_996347.jpg)

> [I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-seem-to-be-some-sort-of-lightning-rod-i-just-really-irritate-people/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/howard-stern-7904_irritate_i-seem-to-be-some-sort-of-lightning-rod_376949.jpg)

> [I'm trapped inside of me and I don't go out at all. I go to bed at eight o'clock at night. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-trapped-inside-of-me-and-i-don-t-go-out-at-all-i-go-to-bed-at/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/howard-stern-7904_bed_i-m-trapped-inside-of-me-and-i-don-t-go_2039488.jpg)

> [I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-a-parent-and-i-regulate-what-my-kids-listen-to-i-don-t-need-the/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Government](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/government/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d34/howard-stern-7904_government_i-m-a-parent-and-i-regulate-what-my-kids_2728127.jpg)

> [You have to make a decision, what you want to do in life, ... Your deal can be, you can leave tomorrow.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/you-have-to-make-a-decision-what-you-want-to-do-in-life-your-deal-can/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/931/howard-stern-7904_be-you_you-have-to-make-a-decision-what-you-wan_853185.jpg)

> [They've come up with some sort of fine or something, or some sort of 'Notice of Apparent Liability.' They're after me again...I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/they-ve-come-up-with-some-sort-of-fine-or-something-or-some-sort-of/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/890/howard-stern-7904_quote_they-ve-come-up-with-some-sort-of-fine-o_1498147.jpg)

> [I dont like to go out. I dont like to leave the house. I like to stay home, but Im fascinated by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-dont-like-to-go-out-i-dont-like-to-leave-the-house-i-like-to-stay/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b1/howard-stern-7904_behavior_i-dont-like-to-go-out-i-dont-like-to-lea_501674.jpg)

> [It is pretty shocking that governmental interference into our rights and free speech takes place in the U.S…It's hard to reconcile this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/it-is-pretty-shocking-that-governmental-interference-into-our-rights/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ae/howard-stern-7904_communication_it-is-pretty-shocking-that-governmental_3178367.jpg)

> [The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/the-new-york-times-list-is-a-bunch-of-crap-they-ought-to-call-it-the/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/howard-stern-7904_bunch_the-new-york-times-list-is-a-bunch-of-cr_815887.jpg)

> [I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-am-circumcised-and-i-tell-you-something-i-despise-it-i-despise-it-i/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Atheist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/atheist/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aac/howard-stern-7904_atheist_i-am-circumcised-and-i-tell-you-somethin_2978834.jpg)

> [I'm not a good listener some times. I'm too much of a control freak. I'm learning to be better. I was so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-not-a-good-listener-some-times-i-m-too-much-of-a-control-freak-i/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/howard-stern-7904_aspect_i-m-not-a-good-listener-some-times-i-m-t_574682.jpg)

> [My mother was very involved with me. And we had a dialogue constantly. And it was like an umbilical cord. As long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/my-mother-was-very-involved-with-me-and-we-had-a-dialogue-constantly/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/902/howard-stern-7904_back-and-forth_my-mother-was-very-involved-with-me-and_1400890.jpg)

> [I was told David Letterman and Kaufman had heart attacks on the same day: David Letterman's heart attack was at a hospital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-was-told-david-letterman-and-kaufman-had-heart-attacks-on-the-same/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Amsterdam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amsterdam/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/howard-stern-7904_amsterdam_i-was-told-david-letterman-and-kaufman-h_958497.jpg)

> [Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/please-with-the-god-talk-hate-to-break-it-to-you-but-there-is-no-god/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Atheism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/atheism/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d4/howard-stern-7904_atheism_please-with-the-god-talk-hate-to-break-i_953425.jpg)

> [Just the mere mention of Jay Leno's name makes me to want to vomit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/just-the-mere-mention-of-jay-leno-s-name-makes-me-to-want-to-vomit/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/366/howard-stern-7904_vomit_just-the-mere-mention-of-jay-leno-s-name_220029.jpg)

> [I believe we will start believing in God as we get closer to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-believe-we-will-start-believing-in-god-as-we-get-closer-to-death/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/howard-stern-7904_believe_i-believe-we-will-start-believing-in-god_181196.jpg)

> [You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/you-ve-got-to-be-a-little-vicious-you-ve-got-to-be-narcissistic-you/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/507/howard-stern-7904_burning_you-ve-got-to-be-a-little-vicious-you-ve_3006368.jpg)

> [Relationships are based on trust until you meet someone new.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/relationships-are-based-on-trust-until-you-meet-someone-new/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/howard-stern-7904_relationship_relationships-are-based-on-trust-until-y_1192016.jpg)

> [I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-m-a-believer-that-satellite-radio-whether-i-m-on-it-or-not-will/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Believer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fde/howard-stern-7904_believer_i-m-a-believer-that-satellite-radio-whet_803643.jpg)

> [When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/when-you-hire-me-you-hire-a-nut-who-is-going-to-work-24-hours-a-day/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/665/howard-stern-7904_audience_when-you-hire-me-you-hire-a-nut-who-is-g_19565.jpg)

> [I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-don-t-think-there-s-one-thing-i-ve-ever-said-on-the-radio-that/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/76e/howard-stern-7904_found_i-don-t-think-there-s-one-thing-i-ve-eve_2477347.jpg)

> [Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/late-night-television-is-ready-for-someone-like-me-standards-have/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9b/howard-stern-7904_all-time_late-night-television-is-ready-for-someo_1851344.jpg)

> [There's just too many people being bullied, too many people's lives being wrecked. This is something that is long overdue. We all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/there-s-just-too-many-people-being-bullied-too-many-people-s-lives/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Being bullied](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-bullied/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a4/howard-stern-7904_being-bullied_there-s-just-too-many-people-being-bulli_371841.jpg)

> [Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/most-of-the-things-i-do-are-misunderstood-hey-after-all-being/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Being misunderstood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-misunderstood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4c/howard-stern-7904_being-misunderstood_most-of-the-things-i-do-are-misunderstoo_3191289.jpg)

> [If you're a Christian you don't sit there and worry about what somebody else is doing, if they're happy and they're committed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/if-you-re-a-christian-you-don-t-sit-there-and-worry-about-what/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Christian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/christian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93f/howard-stern-7904_christian_if-you-re-a-christian-you-don-t-sit-ther_658324.jpg)

> [I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-ve-never-come-into-anything-successful-before-i-ve-always-been/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/195/howard-stern-7904_horrible_i-ve-never-come-into-anything-successful_3040848.jpg)

> [Here's what happens when you die--you sit in a box and get eaten by worms. I guarantee you that when you die,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/here-s-what-happens-when-you-die-you-sit-in-a-box-and-get-eaten-by/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/562/howard-stern-7904_boxes_here-s-what-happens-when-you-die-you-sit_1533737.jpg)

> [I've always been about honesty, whether on the radio, whether I did a movie, whether I wrote a book. As long as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-ve-always-been-about-honesty-whether-on-the-radio-whether-i-did-a/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Book](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/book/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b0/howard-stern-7904_book_i-ve-always-been-about-honesty-whether-o_1555047.jpg)

> [I really didn't know much about the Libertarians. I knew they were for less government and more individual freedom. I liked that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-stern/i-really-didn-t-know-much-about-the-libertarians-i-knew-they-were-for/)

[Howard Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-stern/)

[Government](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/government/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/howard-stern-7904_government_i-really-didn-t-know-much-about-the-libe_3142921.jpg)

## Howard Stern by topic

[People (11)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/howard-stern/)

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