---
title: "Best Gordon Korman Sayings"
description: "Gordon Korman is a Canadian author of children's and young adult books whose works have sold over 30 million copies. Browse 130 Gordon Korman quotes."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-gordon-korman-39036.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-gordon-korman-39036.jpg)

# Gordon Korman

(1963)   Writer   United States

 **130** quotes in **568** categories

Rate this collection:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

Gordon Korman is a writer from the United States, best known for *Schooled*.

## Quick Facts About Gordon Korman

Born October 23, 1963

Nationality United States

Profession Writer

Notable works Schooled

## About Gordon Korman

His writing career has spanned four decades and some of his titles have reached number one on The New York Times Best Seller list.

##  Quotes by Gordon Korman · Page 3

> [“Your pants didn't get smaller, Mommy," I assured her. "Your butt got bigger.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/your-pants-didn-t-get-smaller-mommy-i-assured-her-your-butt-got-bigger/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Childhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/childhood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c7/gordon-korman-3400_childhood_your-pants-didn-t-get-smaller-mommy-i-as_1156263.jpg)

> [“bladelike motion of the shoulders as she”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/bladelike-motion-of-the-shoulders-as-she/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Motion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motion/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f96/gordon-korman-3400_motion_bladelike-motion-of-the-shoulders-as-she_537624.jpg)

> [“Hypothesis: Intentional or not, movement to a beat = dancing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/hypothesis-intentional-or-not-movement-to-a-beat-dancing/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Dance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/820/gordon-korman-3400_dance_hypothesis-intentional-or-not-movement-t_2265120.jpg)

> [The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/the-dog-always-dies-go-to-the-library-and-pick-out-a-book-with-an/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ea/gordon-korman-3400_animal_the-dog-always-dies-go-to-the-library-an_2982644.jpg)

> [“flames dancing on their dueling swords. One of the squirt painters stepped out beside them. Oh,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/flames-dancing-on-their-dueling-swords-one-of-the-squirt-painters/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Fire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/faa/gordon-korman-3400_quote_flames-dancing-on-their-dueling-swords-o_1368183.jpg)

> [“Dan inched closer. "Are her eyelids moving?" Jonah was on his feet now, cheerleading. "Get up, babysitter! Up! Up!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/dan-inched-closer-are-her-eyelids-moving-jonah-was-on-his-feet-now/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Cheerleading](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cheerleading/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10f/gordon-korman-3400_cheerleading_dan-inched-closer-are-her-eyelids-moving_499543.jpg)

> [“Dark hair, olive skin, handsome features. It always made Amy guilty to find him good-looking. Ian Kabra.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/dark-hair-olive-skin-handsome-features-it-always-made-amy-guilty-to/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Dark hair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dark-hair/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b7/gordon-korman-3400_dark-hair_dark-hair-olive-skin-handsome-features-i_1489499.jpg)

> [“He stepped over the velvet rope and seated himself at the harpsichord, cracking his knuckles with a flourish. “You’re bluffing!” Dan accused.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/he-stepped-over-the-velvet-rope-and-seated-himself-at-the-harpsichord/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Bluffing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bluffing/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/445/gordon-korman-3400_bluffing_he-stepped-over-the-velvet-rope-and-seat_2344317.jpg)

> [“But here, two thousand miles from home, there was a real shipwreck, a real hope. A choice big enough to change our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/but-here-two-thousand-miles-from-home-there-was-a-real-shipwreck-a/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Book](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/book/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/364/gordon-korman-3400_book_but-here-two-thousand-miles-from-home-th_2565883.jpg)

> [“After so many reversals of fortune today, they half expected a meteorite to hurtle from the sky and vaporize them if they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/after-so-many-reversals-of-fortune-today-they-half-expected-a/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Expected Meteorite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expected-meteorite-408810/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87a/gordon-korman-3400_expected-meteorite_after-so-many-reversals-of-fortune-today_24962.jpg)

> [Sinead broke in. "The cops need to know what to do with Evan, Amy. What should I tell them?" "Shoot to kill?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/sinead-broke-in-the-cops-need-to-know-what-to-do-with-evan-amy-what/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Amy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43c/gordon-korman-3400_amy_sinead-broke-in-the-cops-need-to-know-wh_1356034.jpg)

> [“You did a politics project on a government that got overthrown on the due date? Man, did anybody ever tell you you've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/you-did-a-politics-project-on-a-government-that-got-overthrown-on-the/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Bad luck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-luck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b0/gordon-korman-3400_bad-luck_you-did-a-politics-project-on-a-governme_422018.jpg)

> [They've got these things called lockers," I raved on. "The Halls are lined with them. And you won't believe what they're for!…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/they-ve-got-these-things-called-lockers-i-raved-on-the-halls-are/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Believe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/524/gordon-korman-3400_believe_they-ve-got-these-things-called-lockers_2209296.jpg)

> [“Change of plan–," she called to Jonah. "Can you drop us off in Rome?" "Yo, am I a movie star or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/change-of-plan-she-called-to-jonah-can-you-drop-us-off-in-rome-yo-am/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20b/gordon-korman-3400_change_change-of-plan-she-called-to-jonah-can-y_3202783.jpg)

> [“How you are in this place that has been sealed since the time of Caesar Augustus?" one of the archaeologists demanded in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/how-you-are-in-this-place-that-has-been-sealed-since-the-time-of/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Archaeologists](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/archaeologists/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a4/gordon-korman-3400_archaeologists_how-you-are-in-this-place-that-has-been_2847952.jpg)

> [“It's like Eldridge Kestenbaum always says - you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." "Horse manure catches more flies than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/it-s-like-eldridge-kestenbaum-always-says-you-catch-more-flies-with/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Being nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-nice/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84a/gordon-korman-3400_being-nice_it-s-like-eldridge-kestenbaum-always-say_434616.jpg)

> [Nellie grinned. "I always wanted to go to Venice. It's supposed to be the romance capital of the world." "Sweet," put in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/nellie-grinned-i-always-wanted-to-go-to-venice-it-s-supposed-to-be/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Big mouth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/big-mouth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caa/gordon-korman-3400_big-mouth_nellie-grinned-i-always-wanted-to-go-to_2403535.jpg)

> [Amy was profoundly shocked. "A little over an hour ago, our bus was attacked by three men in ski masks. They definitely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/amy-was-profoundly-shocked-a-little-over-an-hour-ago-our-bus-was/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Amy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eeb/gordon-korman-3400_amy_amy-was-profoundly-shocked-a-little-over_822135.jpg)

> [“Don't have to see," the pilot grunted. " Olga knows the way." "Funny name for an aircraft," Grace commented. "Is it after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/don-t-have-to-see-the-pilot-grunted-olga-knows-the-way-funny-name-for/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[39-clues](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/39-clues/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/601/gordon-korman-3400_39-clues_don-t-have-to-see-the-pilot-grunted-olga_560451.jpg)

> [Nobody got me out," Nellie replied. "They just let me go. They think I'm a deranged Jonah Wizard fan. Apparently, the hotel's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/nobody-got-me-out-nellie-replied-they-just-let-me-go-they-think-i-m-a/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Amy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/256/gordon-korman-3400_amy_nobody-got-me-out-nellie-replied-they-ju_925000.jpg)

> [“Dear Mr. Weston, Hello again. We were beginning to wonder what had happened to you. I guess things have been pretty quiet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/dear-mr-weston-hello-again-we-were-beginning-to-wonder-what-had/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Broken glass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broken-glass/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db8/gordon-korman-3400_broken-glass_dear-mr-weston-hello-again-we-were-begin_181463.jpg)

> [“Check it out." Jonah removed the bubble wrap and held up the picture for his three cousins. Dan took a step backward.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/check-it-out-jonah-removed-the-bubble-wrap-and-held-up-the-picture/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Cinema](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cinema/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/gordon-korman-3400_cinema_check-it-out-jonah-removed-the-bubble-wr_3235974.jpg)

> [“Come on, who saw what happened?" "I did," I volenteered. "Well?" "Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at." I turned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/come-on-who-saw-what-happened-i-did-i-volenteered-well-buttwipe/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Teacher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teacher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e81/gordon-korman-3400_quote_come-on-who-saw-what-happened-i-did-i-vo_1513919.jpg)

> [“Hey, things like that happen at the Academy too,” I insisted, almost triumphantly. “Last year the freezers failed so there was no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/hey-things-like-that-happen-at-the-academy-too-i-insisted-almost/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Last year](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/last-year/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/554/gordon-korman-3400_last-year_hey-things-like-that-happen-at-the-acade_1340933.jpg)

> [“I'm starving. When we check into our hotel, let's ask the desk clerk where we can find one of those vast pizzas."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/i-m-starving-when-we-check-into-our-hotel-let-s-ask-the-desk-clerk/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Clue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/clue/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b62/gordon-korman-3400_clue_i-m-starving-when-we-check-into-our-hote_3070675.jpg)

> [Hamilton dabbed a tissue at the cut under his eye. "Except for the time I met the Great Khali, that was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/hamilton-dabbed-a-tissue-at-the-cut-under-his-eye-except-for-the-time/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Branches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/branches/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc2/gordon-korman-3400_branches_hamilton-dabbed-a-tissue-at-the-cut-unde_907877.jpg)

> [“ Ow! " "Hold still," Sinead ordered. "And don't be such a baby." She dabbed at the angry red mark behind Ian's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/ow-hold-still-sinead-ordered-and-don-t-be-such-a-baby-she-dabbed-at/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[The39clues](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/the39clues/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18c/gordon-korman-3400_the39clues_ow-hold-still-sinead-ordered-and-don-t-b_502380.jpg)

> [“It had been a seven-year string of bad luck, ever since their parents died in that house fire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/it-had-been-a-seven-year-string-of-bad-luck-ever-since-their-parents/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Bad luck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bad-luck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/235/gordon-korman-3400_bad-luck_it-had-been-a-seven-year-string-of-bad-l_3187605.jpg)

> [In our family, you don't get a childhood. We're too busy trying to dominate the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/in-our-family-you-don-t-get-a-childhood-we-re-too-busy-trying-to/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Busy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/busy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26e/gordon-korman-3400_busy_in-our-family-you-don-t-get-a-childhood_533300.jpg)

> [Wonderful. What's the point of throwing a hissy fit without friends and family on hand to hear it?" -Amy Cahill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/wonderful-what-s-the-point-of-throwing-a-hissy-fit-without-friends/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Amy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/415/gordon-korman-3400_amy_wonderful-what-s-the-point-of-throwing-a_1035336.jpg)

> [“He should earn a puffy-tail for helping and lose it for being mean,” Parker puts in. “At least then he breaks even.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/he-should-earn-a-puffy-tail-for-helping-and-lose-it-for-being-mean/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Earn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/earn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b36/gordon-korman-3400_earn_he-should-earn-a-puffy-tail-for-helping_13895.jpg)

> [“The Bombyx mori caterpillar," her brother supplied, thinking of snack time at the Shaolin Temple. "It tastes like chicken.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/the-bombyx-mori-caterpillar-her-brother-supplied-thinking-of-snack/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[39-clues](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/39-clues/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2d/gordon-korman-3400_39-clues_the-bombyx-mori-caterpillar-her-brother_1489051.jpg)

> [“You want me to stop and give the Wizards a chance to do it?” he shot back. Dead”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/you-want-me-to-stop-and-give-the-wizards-a-chance-to-do-it-he-shot/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Shot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shot/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/102/gordon-korman-3400_shot_you-want-me-to-stop-and-give-the-wizards_760409.jpg)

> [“I thought Jake chose us because he wants to make up for the cheating scandal, not because of Miss Fountain.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/i-thought-jake-chose-us-because-he-wants-to-make-up-for-the-cheating/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Businessman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/businessman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e88/gordon-korman-3400_businessman_i-thought-jake-chose-us-because-he-wants_2944325.jpg)

> [We didn't stow away!" Dan protested. "You sunk our boat and pulled us out of the canal!" "Good point," Ian agreed. "Return…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/we-didn-t-stow-away-dan-protested-you-sunk-our-boat-and-pulled-us-out/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Boat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boat/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b06/gordon-korman-3400_boat_we-didn-t-stow-away-dan-protested-you-su_408989.jpg)

> [What does it feel like to get shot?" "I don't recommend it," said Nellie in a controlled voice. "Chocolate is definitely better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/what-does-it-feel-like-to-get-shot-i-don-t-recommend-it-said-nellie/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Chocolate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chocolate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/gordon-korman-3400_chocolate_what-does-it-feel-like-to-get-shot-i-don_561962.jpg)

> [“According to the mate, there were three main jobs that needed to be done to ensure their survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/according-to-the-mate-there-were-three-main-jobs-that-needed-to-be/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Survival](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survival/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/gordon-korman-3400_survival_according-to-the-mate-there-were-three-m_3227871.jpg)

> [“Why? There was no logical explanation for what I did. It had to come from my DNA. That’s why I needed ancestry.com.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/why-there-was-no-logical-explanation-for-what-i-did-it-had-to-come/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Ancestry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ancestry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77f/gordon-korman-3400_quote_why-there-was-no-logical-explanation-for_2057248.jpg)

> [“You're like crabgrass! Every time I turn around, you're on another part of the lawn!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/you-re-like-crabgrass-every-time-i-turn-around-you-re-on-another-part/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/gordon-korman-3400_humor_you-re-like-crabgrass-every-time-i-turn_1620455.jpg)

> [Don't think of it as losing a boyfriend. Think of it as gaining a stalker." -Dan Cahill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-korman/don-t-think-of-it-as-losing-a-boyfriend-think-of-it-as-gaining-a/)

[Gordon Korman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-korman/)

[Boyfriend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boyfriend/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/584/gordon-korman-3400_boyfriend_don-t-think-of-it-as-losing-a-boyfriend_2561717.jpg)

## Gordon Korman by topic

[The39clues (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/the39clues/gordon-korman/) [Amy (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amy/gordon-korman/) [Jonah (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jonah/gordon-korman/)

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                        "text": "Nellie grinned. \"I always wanted to go to Venice. It's supposed to be the romance capital of the world.\" \"Sweet,\" put in Dan. \"Too bad your date is an Egyptian Mau on a hunger strike.\" The au pair sighed. \"Better than an eleven-year-old with a big mouth.",
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                        "text": "Amy was profoundly shocked. \"A little over an hour ago, our bus was attacked by three men in ski masks. They definitely knew me, and probably Dan, too. We fought them off, but it could've gone either way.\" \"Like if they'd used a cookie truck instead of a gas tanker,\" Dan added. \"Nobody's scared of Oreos.",
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                        "text": "“Don't have to see,\" the pilot grunted. \" Olga knows the way.\" \"Funny name for an aircraft,\" Grace commented. \"Is it after your wife?\" \"My gun.\" Grace stared at him. \"You named your plane after a gun ?\" \"It was a very good gun.”",
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                        "text": "Nobody got me out,\" Nellie replied. \"They just let me go. They think I'm a deranged Jonah Wizard fan. Apparently, the hotel's full of them. A couple of idiots actually jumped off the front balcony. Can you picture that?\" \"In Technicolor,\" Amy said bitterly. \"That low-down KGB reject!\" Dan fumed. \"I can't believe she cheated me–right when I was in the middle of cheating her!",
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                        "text": "“Dear Mr. Weston, Hello again. We were beginning to wonder what had happened to you. I guess things have been pretty quiet since the Salvation Army tried to take over the world. We are sorry, but after much deliberation we have elected not to assign any men to Protect Trillium Air Base. We feel that the Forces can protect themselves, and if they can't, who is going to protect the country? Also, thank you for sending us that shard of broken glass with the fingerprint on it. It was yours. Our mail clerk required four stitches and a tetanus shot. Relay our condolences to your Mr. Waghorn. We have no idea what unfortunate circumstance (for him) drew him to your ever-watchful attention, but he has no criminal record and his face is not known to us. Yours Sincerely, Bruce Hmmm, thought Sidney, Waghorn has no criminal record. \"Let me see one of those,\" said Tom. \"I'm sorry, Tom, but I can't show you the letters.\" Tom muttered something about a lack of trust. He was extremely alarmed at the intensity of Sidney's expression. As Sidney himself would have put it, the investigation was progressing. That meant trouble. There was always trouble when his brother got to the letter-writing stage. Tom would have to stay on his toes. Sidney opened the last letter. Dear Mr. Weston, Please stop bothering us. Cordially yours, The Ontario Provincial Police.”",
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                        "text": "“Check it out.\" Jonah removed the bubble wrap and held up the picture for his three cousins. Dan took a step backward. The shock was almost as powerful as it had been the day before at the Uffizi. \"It's perfect! It's every bit as disgusting as the real one!\" Amy nodded. \"And so fast. We only called you yesterday.\" Jonah shrugged. \"Even the Janus take a short cut every now and then. You can do a lot with digitization these days. You break the picture down to squares and reproduce them one at a time. The other two are just as fly.\" \"You mean, hog ugly,\" Hamilton amended. \"The serpents don't help,\" Dan put in critically. \"Live fat spaghetti. Lady, if you're thinking of a modeling career, forget it!\" The rapper clucked sympathetically. \"You guys just don't appreciate the power of the visual image. The Wiz used to be like that–until Gangsta Kronikles . When you're in film industry, you understand the whole picture's-worth-a-thousand-words deal.\" Hamilton rolled his eyes. \"Here we go again.”",
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                        "text": "“Come on, who saw what happened?\" \"I did,\" I volenteered. \"Well?\" \"Buttwipe wanted to know what jerkface was looking at.\" I turned turned eyes on the bloody and dirt-smeared brawlers. \"You were barely 3-inches apart. Couldn't you see that you were both looking at each other?\" The teacher's face reddened. \"Who do you think you are? Jerry Seinfeld?\" \"You must be confused with another student,\" I told him. \"My name is Capricorn Anderson.”",
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                        "text": "“Hey, things like that happen at the Academy too,” I insisted, almost triumphantly. “Last year the freezers failed so there was no ice for”—the wind went out of my sails as I realized how lame this was going to sound—“the sushi bar.” He nodded sympathetically. “You guys should get T-shirts made. You know: I Survived the Sushi Crisis.”",
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                        "text": "“I'm starving. When we check into our hotel, let's ask the desk clerk where we can find one of those vast pizzas.\" \"What are you talking about?\" \"Your guidebook says Florence is a city of vast pizzas. Look it up yourself.\" \"Those are vast piazzas , not pizzas! It means public squares!\" Dan's face fell. \"Oh.\" Amy sighed. \"I honestly thought the clue hunt took the dweeb out of you. No such luck.”",
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                        "text": "Hamilton dabbed a tissue at the cut under his eye. \"Except for the time I met the Great Khali, that was the coolest thing I've ever done!\" The foursome, only slightly the worse for wear, stood on the tarmac of the small airfield outside Milan, transferring their luggage from the limo to Jonah's jet for the flight back to Florence. \"You didn't do anything, yo,\" Jonah seethed. \"It was done to all of us by the freak show with the nerve to complain that the family branches are too violent!",
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                        "text": "“ Ow! \" \"Hold still,\" Sinead ordered. \"And don't be such a baby.\" She dabbed at the angry red mark behind Ian's ear. \"Cat scratches are prone to infection, you know.\" \"And that's my fault?\" Ian raged. \"Why don't you lock that animal in the cellar? Or, better still, send him to a violen string factory! Ow! What is this stuff–acid?\" \"My own concoction,\" she replied cheerfully. \"Amy and I use it on our blisters when we do marathon training. Soothing, right?\" \"They practice this kind of soothing in the Lucian stronghold–during interrogations .”",
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                        "text": "“It had been a seven-year string of bad luck, ever since their parents died in that house fire.”",
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                        "text": "In our family, you don't get a childhood. We're too busy trying to dominate the world.",
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                        "text": "Wonderful. What's the point of throwing a hissy fit without friends and family on hand to hear it?\" -Amy Cahill",
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