---
title: "Best Elayne Boosler Quotes"
description: "Elayne Boosler is an American comedian, writer, and actress. Browse 98 Elayne Boosler quotes."
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---

![Portrait of Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-elayne-boosler-32201.jpg)

# Elayne Boosler

(1952)   Actor   United States

 **98** quotes in **612** categories

Rate this collection:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

Elayne Boosler is an actor from the United States, best known for *The Best of Comic Relief 3*.

## Quick Facts About Elayne Boosler

Born August 18, 1952

Nationality United States

Profession Actor

Notable works The Best of Comic Relief 3

Spouse Bill Siddons

## About Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler is an American comedian, writer, and actress.

##  Quotes by Elayne Boosler · Page 2

> [Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/here-is-what-is-needed-for-occupy-wall-street-to-become-a-force-for/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/226/elayne-boosler-6166_change_here-is-what-is-needed-for-occupy-wall-s_586038.jpg)

> [Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/turkeys-know-their-names-come-when-you-call-and-are-totally/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Affectionate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affectionate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/elayne-boosler-6166_affectionate_turkeys-know-their-names-come-when-you-c_1862657.jpg)

> [I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-read-books-that-say-if-you-want-to-keep-sex-hot-you-tell-a-person/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Book](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/book/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/093/elayne-boosler-6166_book_i-read-books-that-say-if-you-want-to-kee_1710639.jpg)

> [I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-always-had-a-running-commentary-in-my-head-that-was-extremely-funny/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71a/elayne-boosler-6166_comedy_i-always-had-a-running-commentary-in-my_12538.jpg)

> [Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/have-you-noticed-that-if-you-leave-the-laundry-in-the-hamper-long/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enough/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dde/elayne-boosler-6166_enough_have-you-noticed-that-if-you-leave-the-l_1416817.jpg)

> [My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-ancestors-wandered-lost-in-the-wilderness-for-forty-years-because/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Forty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forty/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c14/elayne-boosler-6166_forty_my-ancestors-wandered-lost-in-the-wilder_1345664.jpg)

> [Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/comedy-is-a-blood-sport-it-flays-the-truth-and-spurts-twisted-logic/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[America](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/america/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27a/elayne-boosler-6166_america_comedy-is-a-blood-sport-it-flays-the-tru_1613084.jpg)

> [My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-brother-is-gay-and-my-parents-don-t-care-as-long-as-he-marries-a/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Brother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brother/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a0d/elayne-boosler-6166_brother_my-brother-is-gay-and-my-parents-don-t-c_3010745.jpg)

> [I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-have-no-complaints-about-losing-money-i-put-in-high-risk/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/elayne-boosler-6166_choices_i-have-no-complaints-about-losing-money_1073069.jpg)

> [I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-didn-t-get-a-high-school-diploma-i-really-didn-t-have-much-of-an/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Curiosity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/curiosity/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a7/elayne-boosler-6166_curiosity_i-didn-t-get-a-high-school-diploma-i-rea_2620579.jpg)

> [A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/a-study-last-year-showed-that-the-page-you-turn-to-first-in-the/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/education/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8a/elayne-boosler-6166_education_a-study-last-year-showed-that-the-page-y_2179372.jpg)

> [Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/guys-wake-up-at-your-place-and-they-expect-breakfast-they-don-t-eat/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Bagels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bagels/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f64/elayne-boosler-6166_bagels_guys-wake-up-at-your-place-and-they-expe_4662.jpg)

> [The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/the-thing-about-breaking-up-when-you-get-older-you-just-don-t-have/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Heartache](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heartache/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/879/elayne-boosler-6166_heartache_the-thing-about-breaking-up-when-you-get_47222.jpg)

> [Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/incredibly-almost-every-hotel-i-ever-played-in-vegas-was-blown-up/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Hotel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hotel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ef/elayne-boosler-6166_hotel_incredibly-almost-every-hotel-i-ever-pla_814384.jpg)

> [I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-personally-cannot-tell-you-how-many-times-we-rescuers-put-our-names/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9e/elayne-boosler-6166_animal_i-personally-cannot-tell-you-how-many-ti_2624012.jpg)

> [We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/we-ve-seen-the-uproars-around-the-world-concerning-cartoons-depicting/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Around the world](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/around-the-world/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/elayne-boosler-6166_around-the-world_we-ve-seen-the-uproars-around-the-world_2730361.jpg)

> [Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/sometimes-if-you-really-don-t-know-how-you-feel-about-a-topic-reading/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Arguing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/arguing/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b4/elayne-boosler-6166_arguing_sometimes-if-you-really-don-t-know-how-y_970667.jpg)

> [Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/men-put-all-kinds-of-expectations-on-you-they-want-you-to-scream-you/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[All kinds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/all-kinds/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9a/elayne-boosler-6166_all-kinds_men-put-all-kinds-of-expectations-on-you_349753.jpg)

> [I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-think-when-you-take-off-that-jacket-and-they-see-that-i-love/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Grandma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grandma/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/elayne-boosler-6166_grandma_i-think-when-you-take-off-that-jacket-an_372302.jpg)

> [I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-ve-never-been-married-but-i-tell-people-i-m-divorced-so-they-won-t/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Divorced](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorced/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d50/elayne-boosler-6166_divorced_i-ve-never-been-married-but-i-tell-peopl_1541581.jpg)

> [I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-know-what-men-want-men-want-to-be-really-really-close-to-someone/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/elayne-boosler-6166_men_i-know-what-men-want-men-want-to-be-real_768258.jpg)

> [You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/you-know-if-you-need-100-rounds-to-kill-a-deer-maybe-hunting-isn-t/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Deer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c4b/elayne-boosler-6166_deer_you-know-if-you-need-100-rounds-to-kill_1238677.jpg)

> [For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/for-a-single-woman-preparing-for-company-means-wiping-the-lipstick/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Business](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/business/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a7/elayne-boosler-6166_business_for-a-single-woman-preparing-for-company_2092649.jpg)

> [When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-women-are-depressed-they-either-eat-or-go-shopping-men-invade/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Depressed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depressed/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/elayne-boosler-6166_depressed_when-women-are-depressed-they-either-eat_2615478.jpg)

> [Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/wouldn-t-it-be-great-if-you-could-only-get-aids-by-giving-money-to/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Aids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aids/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0da/elayne-boosler-6166_aids_wouldn-t-it-be-great-if-you-could-only-g_1011946.jpg)

> [Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/most-people-love-animals-and-most-people-love-to-laugh-combining-the/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b34/elayne-boosler-6166_animal_most-people-love-animals-and-most-people_927096.jpg)

> [President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/president-reagan-is-a-lot-like-e-t-he-s-cute-he-s-lovable-and-he/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Cute](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cute/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fbe/elayne-boosler-6166_cute_president-reagan-is-a-lot-like-e-t-he-s_186199.jpg)

> [We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/we-have-wild-animals-in-zoos-yet-people-rarely-meet-their-food-face/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/79a/elayne-boosler-6166_animal_we-have-wild-animals-in-zoos-yet-people_2372400.jpg)

> [You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/you-know-you-are-in-love-when-you-are-willing-to-share-your-cash/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Cash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cash/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/050/elayne-boosler-6166_cash_you-know-you-are-in-love-when-you-are-wi_3003252.jpg)

> [Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/designers-don-t-put-out-the-same-sweater-every-year-they-just-keep/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Creating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/creating/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/134/elayne-boosler-6166_creating_designers-don-t-put-out-the-same-sweater_3006152.jpg)

> [There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/there-s-only-one-difference-between-jews-and-catholics-jews-are-born/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/born/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/elayne-boosler-6166_born_there-s-only-one-difference-between-jews_292334.jpg)

> [My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-mother-always-said-you-could-eat-off-her-floor-you-could-eat-of-my/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Food](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/food/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f2/elayne-boosler-6166_food_my-mother-always-said-you-could-eat-off_1937166.jpg)

> [San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/san-francisco-is-really-fun-and-liberal-and-it-s-my-kind-of-politics/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Fun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fun/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/370/elayne-boosler-6166_fun_san-francisco-is-really-fun-and-liberal_1505730.jpg)

> [I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-wasn-t-funny-as-a-kid-i-remember-enjoying-comedians-but-i-never/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f7/elayne-boosler-6166_choices_i-wasn-t-funny-as-a-kid-i-remember-enjoy_2119913.jpg)

> [I don't categorize myself. I don't think I'm perceived as a female act by my audience. My fans include just as many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-don-t-categorize-myself-i-don-t-think-i-m-perceived-as-a-female-act/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/133/elayne-boosler-6166_audience_i-don-t-categorize-myself-i-don-t-think_1536457.jpg)

> [As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/as-a-standup-comedian-i-ve-worked-almost-every-new-year-s-eve-of-my/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Adult life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adult-life/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/613/elayne-boosler-6166_adult-life_as-a-standup-comedian-i-ve-worked-almost_1813174.jpg)

> [I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-am-thankful-that-all-the-people-in-the-world-who-absolutely/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[I am thankful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-am-thankful/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e6/elayne-boosler-6166_i-am-thankful_i-am-thankful-that-all-the-people-in-the_2569019.jpg)

> [My family was totally non-religious. There was no question we were Jewish, but we were not observant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-family-was-totally-non-religious-there-was-no-question-we-were/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/elayne-boosler-6166_family_my-family-was-totally-non-religious-ther_2413196.jpg)

> [Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/real-comedy-can-t-be-learned-it-comes-from-a-need-for-justice-the/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb0/elayne-boosler-6166_comedy_real-comedy-can-t-be-learned-it-comes-fr_1495168.jpg)

> [A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/a-man-who-was-loved-by-300-woman-singled-me-out-to-live-with-him-why/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Cat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cat/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/elayne-boosler-6166_cat_a-man-who-was-loved-by-300-woman-singled_1971286.jpg)

## Elayne Boosler by topic

[People (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/elayne-boosler/) [Years (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/elayne-boosler/) [Comedy (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/elayne-boosler/)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "text": "When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.",
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                        "text": "Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?",
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                        "text": "President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.",
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                        "text": "Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.",
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                        "text": "There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.",
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