---
title: "98 Elayne Boosler Quotes - Famous Actor (The Best of Comic Relief 3)"
description: "Elayne Boosler quotes about humor, everyday life, and culture."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-elayne-boosler-32201.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b009/author-elayne-boosler-32201.jpg)

# Elayne Boosler

(1952)   Actor   United States

 **98** quotes in **612** categories

Elayne Boosler jokes about men expecting a full breakfast while they bring bagels and candy. She describes a funny inner voice that never gets spoken out loud. She says she would rather watch a comedian on a theater stage than in a cramped club.

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Elayne Boosler is an actor from the United States, best known for *The Best of Comic Relief 3*.

## Quick Facts About Elayne Boosler

Born August 18, 1952

Nationality United States

Profession Actor

Notable works The Best of Comic Relief 3

Spouse Bill Siddons

## About Elayne Boosler

Elayne Boosler is an American comedian, writer, and actress.

##  Quotes by Elayne Boosler

> [I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-think-about-death-i-don-t-want-to-die-with-clothes-in-the-cleaners/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/elayne-boosler-6166_cleaners_i-think-about-death-i-don-t-want-to-die_890216.jpg)

> [Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/ever-notice-that-soup-for-one-is-eight-aisles-away-from-party-mix/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c32/elayne-boosler-6166_eight_ever-notice-that-soup-for-one-is-eight-a_2233227.jpg)

> [Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/citizens-are-all-equal-in-politics-we-each-have-one-vote/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be0/elayne-boosler-6166_citizens_citizens-are-all-equal-in-politics-we-ea_3229701.jpg)

> [Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/pigs-are-smarter-than-dogs-and-both-are-smarter-than-congress/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Congress](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/congress/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25f/elayne-boosler-6166_congress_pigs-are-smarter-than-dogs-and-both-are_2929963.jpg)

> [I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-can-t-get-married-i-can-t-fake-sleep-for-30-years/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/elayne-boosler-6166_fake_i-can-t-get-married-i-can-t-fake-sleep-f_898535.jpg)

> [To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/to-listen-to-your-own-silence-is-the-key-to-comedy/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/164/elayne-boosler-6166_comedy_to-listen-to-your-own-silence-is-the-key_1511955.jpg)

> [When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-women-are-depressed-they-eat-or-go-shopping/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a8/elayne-boosler-6166_be-a-man_when-women-are-depressed-they-eat-or-go_206492.jpg)

> [The message of great art is to disturb.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/the-message-of-great-art-is-to-disturb/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Art](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/art/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a76/elayne-boosler-6166_art_the-message-of-great-art-is-to-disturb-2_2359318.jpg)

> [Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/laundry-s-easier-when-you-live-alone-fifteen-minutes-before-a-date/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/elayne-boosler-6166_dry_laundry-s-easier-when-you-live-alone-fif_2163491.jpg)

> [The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/the-vatican-is-against-surrogate-mothers-good-thing-they-didn-t-have/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b05/elayne-boosler-6166_born_the-vatican-is-against-surrogate-mothers_1616615.jpg)

> [When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-women-are-depressed-they-eat-or-go-shopping-men-invade-another/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Depressed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depressed/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/194/elayne-boosler-6166_depressed_when-women-are-depressed-they-eat-or-go_746579.jpg)

> [My breakup with AT&T is final, and I'm done with Skype as the rebound guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-breakup-with-at-t-is-final-and-i-m-done-with-skype-as-the-rebound/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Breakup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breakup/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b43/elayne-boosler-6166_breakup_my-breakup-with-at-t-is-final-and-i-m-do_419147.jpg)

> [People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/people-want-sex-education-out-of-the-schools-they-believe-sex/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Algebra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/algebra/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/581/elayne-boosler-6166_algebra_people-want-sex-education-out-of-the-sch_2168897.jpg)

> [There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/there-are-many-comedians-who-are-afraid-to-work-outside-the-coasts/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5f/elayne-boosler-6166_bombs_there-are-many-comedians-who-are-afraid_939026.jpg)

> [Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/men-in-power-always-seem-to-get-involved-in-sex-scandals-but-women/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f3/elayne-boosler-6166_feminism_men-in-power-always-seem-to-get-involved_2877958.jpg)

> [I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-d-much-rather-see-richard-pryor-or-jackie-mason-in-a-theater-than/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d3/elayne-boosler-6166_club_i-d-much-rather-see-richard-pryor-or-jac_162441.jpg)

> [Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/calgary-wins-for-my-coldest-new-year-s-eve-gig-that-s-when-i-learned/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Calgary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calgary/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d45/elayne-boosler-6166_calgary_calgary-wins-for-my-coldest-new-year-s-e_3203559.jpg)

> [For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/for-me-comedy-is-a-day-to-day-report-on-the-human-condition-it-s-what/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d9f/elayne-boosler-6166_comedy_for-me-comedy-is-a-day-to-day-report-on_2220869.jpg)

> [I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-am-thankful-that-geniuses-and-artists-and-good-people-no-matter-how/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Art](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/art/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0d/elayne-boosler-6166_art_i-am-thankful-that-geniuses-and-artists_1362721.jpg)

> [I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-have-six-locks-on-my-door-all-in-a-row-when-i-go-out-i-lock-every/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/235/elayne-boosler-6166_door_i-have-six-locks-on-my-door-all-in-a-row_25149.jpg)

> [When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-i-was-growing-up-in-comedy-there-were-maybe-10-comics-in-the/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Big break](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/big-break/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e7/elayne-boosler-6166_big-break_when-i-was-growing-up-in-comedy-there-we_2995630.jpg)

> [We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/we-have-women-in-the-military-but-they-don-t-put-us-in-the-front/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Enemy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enemy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce4/elayne-boosler-6166_enemy_we-have-women-in-the-military-but-they-d_523406.jpg)

> [My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-belief-is-that-guns-are-too-easy-to-get-in-america-my-belief-is/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Amendment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amendment/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e5/elayne-boosler-6166_america_my-belief-is-that-guns-are-too-easy-to-g_940420.jpg)

> [I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-am-thankful-i-was-born-in-america-although-if-i-gain-any-more/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[America](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/america/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ed/elayne-boosler-6166_america_i-am-thankful-i-was-born-in-america-alth_2393477.jpg)

> [When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-i-played-the-sahara-hotel-in-las-vegas-on-new-year-s-eve-i-got/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f9/elayne-boosler-6166_black_when-i-played-the-sahara-hotel-in-las-ve_2842080.jpg)

> [Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/many-animal-rescue-organizations-hit-with-a-hard-core-heartbreaking/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/487/elayne-boosler-6166_able_many-animal-rescue-organizations-hit-wit_3181850.jpg)

> [President Bush said he didn't want to renew the Assault Weapons Ban because it might 'infringe on hunters' rights'. Who needs an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/president-bush-said-he-didn-t-want-to-renew-the-assault-weapons-ban/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/355/elayne-boosler-6166_ak-47_president-bush-said-he-didn-t-want-to-re_1727126.jpg)

> [I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-like-to-go-after-the-foibles-basically-of-beliefs-that-are-held/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77c/elayne-boosler-6166_after_i-like-to-go-after-the-foibles-basically_2896888.jpg)

> [I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-ve-thought-for-the-last-decade-or-so-the-only-actual-place-raw/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Ability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/elayne-boosler-6166_ability_i-ve-thought-for-the-last-decade-or-so-t_692376.jpg)

> [When the sun comes up, I have morals again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-the-sun-comes-up-i-have-morals-again/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efe/elayne-boosler-6166_character_when-the-sun-comes-up-i-have-morals-agai_1106064.jpg)

> [Horse racing is waning in popularity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/horse-racing-is-waning-in-popularity/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Horse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/horse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9eb/elayne-boosler-6166_horse_horse-racing-is-waning-in-popularity-887_887554.jpg)

> [I've never been able to write for stand-up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-ve-never-been-able-to-write-for-stand-up/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84d/elayne-boosler-6166_able_i-ve-never-been-able-to-write-for-stand_1213617.jpg)

> [What do hookers do on their nights off, type?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/what-do-hookers-do-on-their-nights-off-type/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/elayne-boosler-6166_night_what-do-hookers-do-on-their-nights-off-t_967171.jpg)

> [I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-m-just-a-person-trapped-inside-a-woman-s-body/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Body](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5f/elayne-boosler-6166_body_i-m-just-a-person-trapped-inside-a-woman_2982121.jpg)

> [You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/you-know-you-re-getting-fat-when-you-step-on-the-dog-s-tail-and-he/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/228/elayne-boosler-6166_dies_you-know-you-re-getting-fat-when-you-ste_551130.jpg)

> [Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/every-time-we-help-an-animal-we-are-healing-ourselves-over-and-over/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec8/elayne-boosler-6166_animal_every-time-we-help-an-animal-we-are-heal_1254666.jpg)

> [I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-m-pretty-equal-opportunity-when-it-comes-to-issues-to-joke-about/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a81/elayne-boosler-6166_equal_i-m-pretty-equal-opportunity-when-it-com_1298527.jpg)

> [I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-guess-in-general-people-tend-to-not-eat-the-cute-animals/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab2/elayne-boosler-6166_animal_i-guess-in-general-people-tend-to-not-ea_2070360.jpg)

> [I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-run-everywhere-and-eavesdrop-it-s-the-best-way-to-see-a-city/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Best way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/best-way/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ab/elayne-boosler-6166_best-way_i-run-everywhere-and-eavesdrop-it-s-the_1377454.jpg)

> [Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/stand-up-is-like-a-movie-every-night-you-write-it-direct-it-produce/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/786/elayne-boosler-6166_audience_stand-up-is-like-a-movie-every-night-you_928876.jpg)

## Elayne Boosler by topic

[People (14)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/elayne-boosler/) [Comedy (12)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/elayne-boosler/)

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                        "text": "People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.",
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                        "text": "For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.",
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                        "text": "I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.",
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                        "text": "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.",
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                        "text": "When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You worked free for years in little clubs, then you got your big break and became a star.",
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                        "text": "We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'",
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                        "text": "My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.",
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                        "text": "When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.",
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                        "text": "Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch. By taking a more positive, heartwarming approach to animal rescue, I've been able to engage people and keep them engaged for years. Instead of selling the agony and misery - and sadly, there is no shortage of that - I start with the happy endings. I work backwards so the first message they get is joy and success due to their involvement. Opening the mind with humor and joy gets the rescue message in that much deeper.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "President Bush said he didn't want to renew the Assault Weapons Ban because it might 'infringe on hunters' rights'. Who needs an AK-47 machine gun to go hunting? Let me tell you guys something... If it takes you 500 rounds to bring down a deer, I don't want you going to the bathroom in MY house!",
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                        "text": "I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in their stuff after that, that's great - as long as they just have a chance to step back and look at it for a second. Sometimes, you don't even realize what you've been thinking for 20 years.",
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                        "text": "I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When the sun comes up, I have morals again.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Horse racing is waning in popularity.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've never been able to write for stand-up.",
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