---
title: "47 Dana Carvey Quotes - Famous Comedian (The master of disguise)"
description: "Dana Thomas Carvey is an American stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster, screenwriter and producer. Browse 47 Dana Carvey quotes."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-dana-carvey-26295.jpg"
---

![Portrait of Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-dana-carvey-26295.jpg)

# Dana Carvey

(1955)   Comedian   United States

 **47** quotes in **339** categories

Rate this collection:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

Dana Carvey is a comedian from the United States, best known for *The master of disguise*.

## Quick Facts About Dana Carvey

Born June 2, 1955

Nationality United States

Profession Comedian

Notable works The master of disguise

Spouse Paula Zwagerman

## About Dana Carvey

Dana Thomas Carvey is an American stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster, screenwriter and producer.

## Awards & Honors

Primetime Emmy Award for Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program

##  Quotes by Dana Carvey

> [I'm a real people-pleaser.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-m-a-real-people-pleaser/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Nice guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nice-guy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73b/dana-carvey-14299_nice-guy_i-m-a-real-people-pleaser-256732_256732.jpg)

> [I never read the tabloids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-never-read-the-tabloids/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Books](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/books/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef2/dana-carvey-14299_books_i-never-read-the-tabloids-2883760_2883760.jpg)

> [If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/if-i-only-ran-when-nothing-hurt-i-would-never-run/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/280/dana-carvey-14299_hurt_if-i-only-ran-when-nothing-hurt-i-would_1034895.jpg)

> [Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/please-o-ye-lord-keep-jim-bakker-behind-bars/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Bars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bars/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a79/dana-carvey-14299_bars_please-o-ye-lord-keep-jim-bakker-behind_1345479.jpg)

> [I'm more of a people pleaser.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-m-more-of-a-people-pleaser/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[More](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/more/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/dana-carvey-14299_more_i-m-more-of-a-people-pleaser-1889734_1889734.jpg)

> [Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/am-i-not-turtley-enough-for-the-turtle-club-turtle-turtle/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Club](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/club/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f17/dana-carvey-14299_club_am-i-not-turtley-enough-for-the-turtle-c_2556143.jpg)

> [If you just kind of live a regular life and make good 'Hollywood' money, you have a certain freedom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/if-you-just-kind-of-live-a-regular-life-and-make-good-hollywood-money/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/dana-carvey-14299_certain_if-you-just-kind-of-live-a-regular-life_1830698.jpg)

> [I think ABC sort of hoped I would be really like Carol Burnett. I mean literally, I think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-think-abc-sort-of-hoped-i-would-be-really-like-carol-burnett-i-mean/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/012/dana-carvey-14299_carol-burnett_i-think-abc-sort-of-hoped-i-would-be-rea_1588960.jpg)

> [I have a theory that if you're famous more years than you're not famous, then you get a little nutty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-have-a-theory-that-if-you-re-famous-more-years-than-you-re-not/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Fame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fame/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f82/dana-carvey-14299_famous_i-have-a-theory-that-if-you-re-famous-mo_991288.jpg)

> [While many comics have a secret persona, I fundamentally want to be myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/while-many-comics-have-a-secret-persona-i-fundamentally-want-to-be/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Comics](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comics/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec2/dana-carvey-14299_persona_while-many-comics-have-a-secret-persona_1325394.jpg)

> [If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/if-she-were-a-president-she-d-be-babe-raham-lincoln/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Babe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/babe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/054/dana-carvey-14299_babe_if-she-were-a-president-she-d-be-babe-ra_1533434.jpg)

> [When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/when-people-come-to-see-my-stand-up-they-get-a-chance-to-see-my-2/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Chance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdf/dana-carvey-14299_chance_when-people-come-to-see-my-stand-up-they_2712782.jpg)

> [I really enjoy being a dad, and maybe I took it too seriously, but I love being around my kids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-really-enjoy-being-a-dad-and-maybe-i-took-it-too-seriously-but-i/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Being a dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-a-dad/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/dana-carvey-14299_being-a-dad_i-really-enjoy-being-a-dad-and-maybe-i-t_407140.jpg)

> [I always tend to think of all of my shows as possibly my last show. I'm like a junior Springsteen, without the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-always-tend-to-think-of-all-of-my-shows-as-possibly-my-last-show-i/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Junior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/junior/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e6/dana-carvey-14299_juniors_i-always-tend-to-think-of-all-of-my-show_1299405.jpg)

> [Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/well-i-loved-variety-in-television-i-loved-sketch-comedy-at-saturday/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f93/dana-carvey-14299_comedy_well-i-loved-variety-in-television-i-lov_1661241.jpg)

> [I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-know-it-s-a-cliche-but-the-whole-family-is-just-whacked-i-mean-we/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Bizarre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bizarre/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/29d/dana-carvey-14299_bizarre_i-know-it-s-a-cliche-but-the-whole-famil_796753.jpg)

> [I've never really worked on them. Just once in a while one hits me and makes me laugh. My Al Gore was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-ve-never-really-worked-on-them-just-once-in-a-while-one-hits-me-and/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Al gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/al-gore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/dana-carvey-14299_al-gore_i-ve-never-really-worked-on-them-just-on_761776.jpg)

> [I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to kind of navigate the world fairly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-have-this-dream-life-where-i-get-to-be-a-celebrity-but-i-get-to-2/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33f/dana-carvey-14299_character_i-have-this-dream-life-where-i-get-to-be_2699092.jpg)

> [You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/you-know-sometimes-you-can-t-just-take-an-armadillo-put-it-in-the/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Armadillos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/armadillos/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/dana-carvey-14299_armadillos_you-know-sometimes-you-can-t-just-take-a_1473457.jpg)

> [A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/a-mom-and-dad-found-an-s-m-magazine-under-their-10-year-old-son-s-bed/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Bed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bed/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ad/dana-carvey-14299_bed_a-mom-and-dad-found-an-s-m-magazine-unde_2863771.jpg)

> [I recently found out about this other super movie star. He only works from about 11:00 to 4:00, so all his movies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-recently-found-out-about-this-other-super-movie-star-he-only-works/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[About](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/about/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af7/dana-carvey-14299_about_i-recently-found-out-about-this-other-su_1305160.jpg)

> [My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/my-obama-is-getting-pretty-good-i-think-i-ll-vote-for-whoever-makes/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Comic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comic/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c79/dana-carvey-14299_comic_my-obama-is-getting-pretty-good-i-think_3148635.jpg)

> [This movie will actually increase the sex life of parents everywhere because they can put this on, with the 45 minutes of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/this-movie-will-actually-increase-the-sex-life-of-parents-everywhere/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Actually](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/actually/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fd/dana-carvey-14299_actually_this-movie-will-actually-increase-the-se_1290110.jpg)

> [I had written in another draft a completely different kind of fight, but they said they couldn't afford to shoot it. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-had-written-in-another-draft-a-completely-different-kind-of-fight/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Afford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/afford/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/89d/dana-carvey-14299_afford_i-had-written-in-another-draft-a-complet_2211274.jpg)

> [We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/we-didn-t-even-think-about-it-you-know-i-used-to-collect-laser-discs/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[About](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/about/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fc/dana-carvey-14299_about_we-didn-t-even-think-about-it-you-know-i_380171.jpg)

> [I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-used-to-sneak-up-to-the-8th-floor-and-watch-eddie-murphy-and-joe/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Able](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/able/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfa/dana-carvey-14299_able_i-used-to-sneak-up-to-the-8th-floor-and_2201863.jpg)

> [I have no regrets. I wanted to raise the kids and be a present father. When I developed a movie, I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-have-no-regrets-i-wanted-to-raise-the-kids-and-be-a-present-father/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Developed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/developed/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/894/dana-carvey-14299_developed_i-have-no-regrets-i-wanted-to-raise-the_979297.jpg)

> [When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other. I enjoy pushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/when-people-come-to-see-my-stand-up-they-get-a-chance-to-see-my/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Chance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chance/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/30e/dana-carvey-14299_chance_when-people-come-to-see-my-stand-up-they_1985570.jpg)

> [You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/you-know-elizabeth-taylor-must-be-in-heaven-going-alright-fire-two/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Alright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alright/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/dana-carvey-14299_alright_you-know-elizabeth-taylor-must-be-in-hea_1589894.jpg)

> [I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-m-thirty-years-old-but-i-read-at-the-thirty-four-year-old-level/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Books](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/books/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d79/dana-carvey-14299_books_i-m-thirty-years-old-but-i-read-at-the-t_1279086.jpg)

> [I don't find biology as interesting as politics and humanism. I talk more about existential stuff.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-don-t-find-biology-as-interesting-as-politics-and-humanism-i-talk/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Biology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/biology/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb5/dana-carvey-14299_biology_i-don-t-find-biology-as-interesting-as-p_354916.jpg)

> [My characters all start with rhythms and sounds. Once I hear the voice and get into the rhythm, the attitude and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/my-characters-all-start-with-rhythms-and-sounds-once-i-hear-the-voice/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Attitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc0/dana-carvey-14299_attitude_my-characters-all-start-with-rhythms-and_1157827.jpg)

> [I enjoy pushing my characters to the limit. No matter how far out there I go, I look for things that make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-enjoy-pushing-my-characters-to-the-limit-no-matter-how-far-out/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e50/dana-carvey-14299_character_i-enjoy-pushing-my-characters-to-the-lim_2780842.jpg)

> [That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/that-s-why-modern-corporate-movie-making-has-become-so-laborious-that/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Comedian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedian/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/661/dana-carvey-14299_comedian_that-s-why-modern-corporate-movie-making_652261.jpg)

> [I'm a friend of the CEO of Twitter and he showed me how to be on it, but it causes such an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-m-a-friend-of-the-ceo-of-twitter-and-he-showed-me-how-to-be-on-it/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Causes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/causes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/690/dana-carvey-14299_causes_i-m-a-friend-of-the-ceo-of-twitter-and-h_2710225.jpg)

> [Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/describing-comic-sensibility-is-near-impossible-it-s-sort-of-an/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Abstract](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abstract/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c38/dana-carvey-14299_abstract_describing-comic-sensibility-is-near-imp_22984.jpg)

> [The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/the-two-things-that-can-hurt-you-are-if-you-need-money-or-if-you-need/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Achilles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/achilles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e9/dana-carvey-14299_achilles_the-two-things-that-can-hurt-you-are-if_1898517.jpg)

> [I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to navigate the world fairly easily because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-have-this-dream-life-where-i-get-to-be-a-celebrity-but-i-get-to/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e3/dana-carvey-14299_character_i-have-this-dream-life-where-i-get-to-be_2350877.jpg)

> [I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-got-lucky-i-won-the-san-francisco-stand-up-comedy-competition-in/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3f/dana-carvey-14299_comedy_i-got-lucky-i-won-the-san-francisco-stan_2073750.jpg)

> [I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-carvey/i-tried-to-go-out-for-theater-or-theater-arts-but-i-was-too-scared-or/)

[Dana Carvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-carvey/)

[Art](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/art/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd6/dana-carvey-14299_art_i-tried-to-go-out-for-theater-or-theater_2806666.jpg)

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                        "text": "You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'",
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