---
title: "15 Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child Quotes"
description: "Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child has 15 quotes on SMS4Smile. Browse their most insightful sayings."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71d/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_autonomy_true-autonomy-is-preceded-by-the-experie_433075.jpg"
---

# Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child

 **15** quotes in **40** categories

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##  Quotes by Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child

> [“True autonomy is preceded by the experience of being dependent. True liberation can be found only beyond the deep ambivalence of infantile…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/true-autonomy-is-preceded-by-the-experience-of-being-dependent-true/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Autonomy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autonomy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71d/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_autonomy_true-autonomy-is-preceded-by-the-experie_433075.jpg)

> [“In such cases the natural needs appropriate to the child’s age cannot be integrated, so they are repressed or split off. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/in-such-cases-the-natural-needs-appropriate-to-the-child-s-age-cannot/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44b/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_child_in-such-cases-the-natural-needs-appropri_3179079.jpg)

> [“The patient is surprised by feelings she would rather not have recognized, but now it is too late: Awareness of her own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/the-patient-is-surprised-by-feelings-she-would-rather-not-have/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Feelings and emotions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings-and-emotions/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/088/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_feelings-and-emotion_the-patient-is-surprised-by-feelings-she_1193675.jpg)

> [“The more gifted of these individuals became writers or artists. Even though they were able to point to the truth in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/the-more-gifted-of-these-individuals-became-writers-or-artists-even/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Art](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/art/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08a/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_art_the-more-gifted-of-these-individuals-bec_905285.jpg)

> [“Superficially, the Fourth Commandment can be regarded as a kind of life insurance for old people, which was perhaps necessary in biblical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/superficially-the-fourth-commandment-can-be-regarded-as-a-kind-of/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Commandment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commandment/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/447/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_early-death_superficially-the-fourth-commandment-can_160798.jpg)

> [“These people have all developed the art of not experiencing feelings, for a child can experience her feelings only when there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/these-people-have-all-developed-the-art-of-not-experiencing-feelings/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Art](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/art/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/024/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_art_these-people-have-all-developed-the-art_2961372.jpg)

> [“An emotional outbreak may follow, accompanied by strong, legitimate reproaches, and only after this outbreak will a new link with repressed experience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/an-emotional-outbreak-may-follow-accompanied-by-strong-legitimate/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Depression](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depression/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0f/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_depression_an-emotional-outbreak-may-follow-accompa_2038596.jpg)

> [“It is highly significant, perplexing to say the least, that we have been bound for thousands of years to a commandment that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/it-is-highly-significant-perplexing-to-say-the-least-that-we-have/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Commandment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/commandment/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a49/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_parenting_it-is-highly-significant-perplexing-to-s_120486.jpg)

> [“The body cannot understand this kind of morality; it will have no truck with the Fourth Commandment, and it cannot be fooled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/the-body-cannot-understand-this-kind-of-morality-it-will-have-no/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Body](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c8/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_children_the-body-cannot-understand-this-kind-of_367664.jpg)

> [“I call the violent kind of "upbringing" abuse, not only because children are thus refused the right to dignity and respect as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/i-call-the-violent-kind-of-upbringing-abuse-not-only-because-children/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22f/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_abuse_i-call-the-violent-kind-of-upbringing-ab_2855585.jpg)

> [“Because the victims are “only children,” their distress is trivialized. But in twenty years’ time these children will be adult who will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/because-the-victims-are-only-children-their-distress-is-trivialized/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dd/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_abuse_because-the-victims-are-only-children-th_1137140.jpg)

> [“My belief is that the time has come for us to take the injuries of childhood and their consequences seriously. We must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/my-belief-is-that-the-time-has-come-for-us-to-take-the-injuries-of/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Childhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/childhood/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa6/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_childhood_my-belief-is-that-the-time-has-come-for_911309.jpg)

> [“Although the outward picture of depression is quite the opposite of that of grandiosity and has a quality that expresses the tragedy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/although-the-outward-picture-of-depression-is-quite-the-opposite-of/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Depression](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depression/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/296/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_depression_although-the-outward-picture-of-depressi_2457755.jpg)

> [“An adult can be fully aware of his feelings only if he had caring parents or caregivers. People who were abused and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/an-adult-can-be-fully-aware-of-his-feelings-only-if-he-had-caring/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c04/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_children_an-adult-can-be-fully-aware-of-his-feeli_2721122.jpg)

> [“The realization that I cannot manipulate my feelings, that I can delude neither myself nor others, brought me immense relief and liberation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/the-realization-that-i-cannot-manipulate-my-feelings-that-i-can/)

[Alice MIller, The Drama of the gifted child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the-gifted-child/)

[Freedom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/alice-miller-the-drama-of-the_freedom_the-realization-that-i-cannot-manipulate_1853592.jpg)

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                        "text": "“The body cannot understand this kind of morality; it will have no truck with the Fourth Commandment, and it cannot be fooled by words in the way the mind can. The body is the guardian of the truth, our truth, because it carries the experience of a lifetime and ensures that we can live with the truth of our organism. With the aid of physical symptoms it forces us to engage cognitively with this truth so that we can communicate harmoniously with the child within, the child who lives on inside us, the child who was once spurned, abused, and humiliated.”",
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                        "text": "“I call the violent kind of \"upbringing\" abuse, not only because children are thus refused the right to dignity and respect as human beings but also because such an approach to parenting establishes a kind of totalitarian regime in which it is impossible for children to perceive the humiliations, indignities, and disrespect they have been subjected to, let alone to defend themselves against them. These patterns of childhood will inevitably then be adopted by their victims and used on their partners and their own children, at work, in politics, wherever the fear and anxiety of the profoundly insecure child can be fended off with the aid of external power. It is in this way that dictators are born; these are people with a deep-seated contempt for everyone else, people who were never respected as children and thus do their utmost to earn that respect at a later stage with the assistance of the gigantic power apparatus they have built up around them.”",
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                        "text": "“Because the victims are “only children,” their distress is trivialized. But in twenty years’ time these children will be adult who will feel compelled to pay it all back to their own children. They may consciously fight with vigor against cruelty in the world yet carry within themselves an experience of cruelty that they may unconsciously inflict on others. As long as it remains hidden behind their idealized picture of a happy childhood, they will have not awareness of it and will therefore be unable to avoid passing it on. It is absolutely urgent that people become aware of the degree to which this disrespect of children is persistently transmitted from one generation to the next, perpetuating destructive behavior. Someone who slaps or hits another adult or knowingly insults her is aware of hurting her. Even if he doesn’t know why he is doing this, he has some sense of what he is doing. But how often were our parents, and we ourselves toward our own children, unconscious of how painfully, deeply, and abidingly they and we injured a child’s tender, budding self?”",
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                        "text": "“My belief is that the time has come for us to take the injuries of childhood and their consequences seriously. We must free ourselves of this commandment. This does not mean that we have to repay our parents' cruelty in kind. It means that we must see them as they were, and recognize the way they treated us when we were small. Then we can spare ourselves and our children the repetition of such patterns of behavior. We need to free ourselves of the \"internalized parents\" carrying on their deadly work within us. This is the only way we can say yes to our own lives and learn to respect ourselves. It is not something we can learn from Moses. Moses became disloyal to the messages of his own body when he espoused the Fourth Commandment. He had no choice in the matter for he was not aware of these messages. But this is precisely the reason for not allowing this commandment to assert its power over us.”",
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                        "text": "“Although the outward picture of depression is quite the opposite of that of grandiosity and has a quality that expresses the tragedy of the loss of self in a more obvious way, they have many points in common: -\tThe false self that has led to the loss of the potential true self -\tA fragility of self-esteem because of a lack of confidence in one’s own feelings and wishes -\tPerfectionism -\tDenial of rejected feelings -\tA preponderance of exploitative relationships -\tAn enormous fear of loss of love and therefore a great readiness to conform -\tSplit-off aggression -\tOversensitivity -\tA readiness to feel shame and guilt -\tRestlessness”",
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                        "text": "“An adult can be fully aware of his feelings only if he had caring parents or caregivers. People who were abused and neglected in childhood are missing this capacity and are never overtaken by unexpected emotions. They will admit only those feelings that are accepted and approved by their inner censor, who is their parents’ heir. Depression and a sense of inner emptiness are the price they must pay for this control. The true self cannot communicate because it has remained unconscious, and therefore underdeveloped, in its inner prison. The company of prison warders does not encourage lively development. It is only after it is liberated that the self begins to be articulate, to grow, and to develop its creativity. Where there had been only fearful emptiness or equally frightening grandiose fantasies, an unexpected wealth of vitality is now discovered. This is not a homecoming, since this home has never before existed. It is the creation of home.”",
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                        "text": "“The realization that I cannot manipulate my feelings, that I can delude neither myself nor others, brought me immense relief and liberation. Only then was I fully struck by the large number of people who (like myself) literally almost kill themselves in the attempt to obey the Fourth Commandment, without any consideration of the price this exacts both from our own bodies and from their children. As long as the children allow themselves to be used in this way, it is entirely possible to live to be one hundred without any awareness of one's personal truth and without any illness ensuing from this protracted form of self-deception.”",
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