--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted…" description: "\"“When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. Once again, I was ready for a big change in my life..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de0/augusten-burroughs-603_botox_when-i-turned-thirty-i-briefly-flirted-w_598371.jpg" --- # When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of… ![“When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. Once again, I was ready for a big change in my life. Plus, I was having a really difficult time meeting gay guys who didn’t seem gay yet were still caustic. So I figured, as a woman I would have a…” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de0/augusten-burroughs-603_botox_when-i-turned-thirty-i-briefly-flirted-w_598371.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de0/augusten-burroughs-603_botox_when-i-turned-thirty-i-briefly-flirted-w_598371.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/de0/augusten-burroughs-603_botox_when-i-turned-thirty-i-briefly-flirted-w_598371.jpg) > ““When I turned thirty, I briefly flirted with the notion of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. Once again, I was ready for a big change in my life. Plus, I was having a really difficult time meeting gay guys who didn’t seem gay yet were still caustic. So I figured, as a woman I would have a whole new pool of men from which to fish. I decided that I would probably opt for the self-lubricating vagioplasty option. …the plus side of this vagina was that it was, like the name implies, self-lubricating. So I wouldn’t need to give myself away and reach for the K-Y. On the downside, it was always self-lubricating, so you had to wear a maxipad at all times, even at funerals.”” [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator humorously explores the idea of drastic personal change, highlighting both imagined benefits and absurd drawbacks of a self‑lubricating vagina. **In simple terms:** Considering extreme changes can reveal hidden absurdities. Key Takeaway Weigh pros and cons before major decisions. Themes identity humor body image risk sexuality Mood wry reflective critical Type satirical personal narrative When to use this quote - personal crisis - relationship decisions - medical choices - social expectations Key Concepts gender transition self‑acceptance satire Questions to Reflect On - What does this humor reveal about societal expectations? - How might such jokes affect trans visibility? A Different Perspective The satire may downplay real challenges faced by trans individuals. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Botox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/botox/) [Difficult time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/difficult-time/) [Gay Guys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gay-guys/) [Lubricating Vagioplasty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lubricating-vagioplasty-4883930/) [Plus Vagina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/plus-vagina-4883933/) [Reassignment Surgery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reassignment-surgery-1218469/) [Self Lubricating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-lubricating-4883932/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Vagioplasty Option](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vagioplasty-option-4883931/) ## Related quotes > [Not unlike gender reassignment surgery, someone determines that they are of a different race on the inside and they wish to surgically correct that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-row/not-unlike-gender-reassignment-surgery-someone-determines-that-they/) [Jess Row](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-row/) > [ “Then I thought, a sex change", she says, "a sexual reassignment surgery \[...\] It was just the biggest mistake I could make. The biggest… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/then-i-thought-a-sex-change-she-says-a-sexual-reassignment-surgery-it/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [“And when I say the Fashion Police, of course I’m speaking of the small group of screeching gay guys and fashion “experts” on that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mindy-kaling/and-when-i-say-the-fashion-police-of-course-i-m-speaking-of-the-small/) [Mindy Kaling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mindy-kaling/) > [Gay guys are more attractive, because they get you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author-name/gay-guys-are-more-attractive-because-they-get-you/) [Author Name](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/author-name/) > [“If you’re ever short on cash, you could set up a booth and charge the ladies to massage your bod.” “Oh yeah?” His voice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-mckenna/if-you-re-ever-short-on-cash-you-could-set-up-a-booth-and-charge-the/) [Shannon McKenna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-mckenna/) > [Hot gay guys are a waste of sperm needed for ugly people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blanca-estelle-trujillo/hot-gay-guys-are-a-waste-of-sperm-needed-for-ugly-people/) [Blanca Estelle Trujillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blanca-estelle-trujillo/) > [Not a lot of gay guys end up coming to alt-comedy-ish shows. They like all these '80s shimmer shows, or they like going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-branum/not-a-lot-of-gay-guys-end-up-coming-to-alt-comedy-ish-shows-they-like/) [Guy Branum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-branum/) > [Straight guys who aren't friends with gay guys just because they're gay are actually the most pathetic people on this planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/straight-guys-who-aren-t-friends-with-gay-guys-just-because-they-re/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Martin hesitated. This was a definite yes and no answer. Yes, gay guys picked up strangers on the street, for that matter sometimes so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-thornton/martin-hesitated-this-was-a-definite-yes-and-no-answer-yes-gay-guys/) [Marshall Thornton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-thornton/) > [“Women and gay guys always get stuck with that image that they couldn’t possibly be interested in the game itself—it had to be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-kennedy/women-and-gay-guys-always-get-stuck-with-that-image-that-they-couldn/) [Sean Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-kennedy/) > [I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-fey/i-m-not-that-good-looking-nobody-is-that-good-looking-i-have-seen-a/) [Tina Fey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-fey/) > [Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal. -Kurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glee/bisexual-is-a-term-that-gay-guys-in-high-school-use-when-they-wanna/) [Glee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glee/) > [“If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orlando-winters/if-a-couple-of-gay-guys-want-to-throw-the-gayest-most-fabulous/) [Orlando Winters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orlando-winters/) > [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I have always been attracted to gay guys so I always thought I am gay man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trisha-paytas/i-have-always-been-attracted-to-gay-guys-so-i-always-thought-i-am-gay/) [Trisha Paytas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trisha-paytas/) ## More by Augusten Burroughs > [There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/there-is-nothing-about-myself-that-i-wouldn-t-reveal-or-write-about-i/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“We were alone together, we were an us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/we-were-alone-together-we-were-an-us/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/like-every-child-i-adored-her-until-i-formed-a-brain-and-got-to-know/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“You must hang onto the scraps of the bucking moment as if your sanity and life depended on it - because actually they do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/you-must-hang-onto-the-scraps-of-the-bucking-moment-as-if-your-sanity/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [Real optimism is not the pep talk you give yourself. It is earned through the labor involved in emotional housekeeping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/real-optimism-is-not-the-pep-talk-you-give-yourself-it-is-earned/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/if-you-hate-your-life-you-haven-t-seen-enough-of-it-if-you-hate-your/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/i-think-writers-tend-to-be-experience-junkies-and-i-think-they-also/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/i-think-part-of-the-reason-i-m-attracted-to-foster-is-because-he-s/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“On typical days, (dust) is simply irritating. On Roid Rage days, it made me want to stomp down to the highway, pull drivers out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/on-typical-days-dust-is-simply-irritating-on-roid-rage-days-it-made/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/i-m-like-the-guy-who-prepares-your-taxes-or-a-dentist-i-m-very/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“Nothing surprises me now," I tell him. I am stoic. I am Joan of Arc, with liver damage and an unused penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/nothing-surprises-me-now-i-tell-him-i-am-stoic-i-am-joan-of-arc-with/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“It's not that I was an outright nitwit of a child.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/it-s-not-that-i-was-an-outright-nitwit-of-a-child/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [What I really want is to sit next to someone under an L.L. bean blanket on the beach in the fall and drink coffee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/what-i-really-want-is-to-sit-next-to-someone-under-an-l-l-bean/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“My worth depended on where exactly the decimal was placed among the zeroes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/my-worth-depended-on-where-exactly-the-decimal-was-placed-among-the/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“Bookman isn't a stable man. He has a lot of problems that run very, very deep." But he was really good at giving head.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/bookman-isn-t-a-stable-man-he-has-a-lot-of-problems-that-run-very/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) [Explore all 448 Augusten Burroughs quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) ## More Botox quotes > [You look so pretty with you diamonds and you designer botox. You'll have to put something special in that little red box.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelspit/you-look-so-pretty-with-you-diamonds-and-you-designer-botox-you-ll/) [Angelspit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelspit/) > [Like, if you look at Heidi Montag, who got 10 surgeries she didn't need, I think that's unfortunate. I've always been voluptuous with a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-madison/like-if-you-look-at-heidi-montag-who-got-10-surgeries-she-didn-t-need/) [Holly Madison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-madison/) > [I see pictures of myself BB - before Botox - and I see the ones after and I am happy. I am on television…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-kyle/i-see-pictures-of-myself-bb-before-botox-and-i-see-the-ones-after-and/) [Jeremy Kyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-kyle/) > [According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/according-to-a-new-study-botox-injections-can-help-back-pain-so-you/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [I don't use Botox or Restylane and I've never had any surgery. 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