--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Paul, all I know is that this is the…" description: "\"“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy, and your penis has been mentioned numerou..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e93/augusten-burroughs-603_credit-card_paul-all-i-know-is-that-this-is-the-thir_1171286.png" --- # Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've… ![“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy, and your penis has been mentioned numerous times. Jesus, you're acting like you're some teenager. Work through this shit with a shrink, man. I don't care if you're gay.' Here again, I…” quote by Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e93/augusten-burroughs-603_credit-card_paul-all-i-know-is-that-this-is-the-thir_1171286.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e93/augusten-burroughs-603_credit-card_paul-all-i-know-is-that-this-is-the-thir_1171286.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e93/augusten-burroughs-603_credit-card_paul-all-i-know-is-that-this-is-the-thir_1171286.png) > ““Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy, and your penis has been mentioned numerous times. Jesus, you're acting like you're some teenager. Work through this shit with a shrink, man. I don't care if you're gay.' Here again, I achieved silence. But not for long. The breathing became heavy and then, 'What the fuck kind of game are you playing?' 'It's no game, man. You want to close a sale? I want to see your penis. It's a fair exchange if you ask me.' He hung up again, and I reached for my perfectly spicy, scratch-your-throat-like-a-cat-claw-hot Blenheim ginger ale and took a long swallow. This particular credit card company has not called me again. And, to my delight, AT&T never called me again after I asked one of their friendly Southern females if by any chance she happened to be a male-to-female transsexual, and if so, what vaginal depth her surgeon had managed to attain for her. 'Four inches is pretty common,' I told her. 'But if you dilate religiously, you can probably achieve five.' I even got the phrase 'self-lubricating' out before she hung up on me.”” [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A chaotic, vulgar monologue exposing the narrator’s desperate attempts at sexual manipulation and the absurdity of his interactions with strangers. **In simple terms:** The speaker uses crude sexual talk to try to control a situation, revealing desperation and absurdity. Key Takeaway Recognize when humor crosses into harassment and seek healthier communication. Themes absurdity sexuality manipulation humor desperation Mood irgrated confused critical Type satirical cautionary observational When to use this quote - Cold calls - online dating - customer service interactions - personal boundaries Key Concepts Power dynamics social awkwardness boundary violations Questions to Reflect On - What drives people to use sexual aggression in negotiations? - How can one set clear boundaries without escalating conflict? A Different Perspective The shock value may mask underlying insecurity and lack of consent. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Fuck every other guy, I just want this one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/fuck-every-other-guy-i-just-want-this-one/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“He almost killed my friends. Fuck that guy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kendare-blake/he-almost-killed-my-friends-fuck-that-guy/) [Kendare Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kendare-blake/) > [- fuck every guy as if its your last.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/fuck-every-guy-as-if-its-your-last/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I have two middle fingers and they're both saying FUCK YOU!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-lee-riner/i-have-two-middle-fingers-and-they-re-both-saying-fuck-you/) [Justin Lee Riner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-lee-riner/) > [K is another way of saying fuck you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/k-is-another-way-of-saying-fuck-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. 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Silence and apathy are the best ways of saying Fuck You”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-learn-silence-and-apathy-are-the-best-ways-of-saying-fuck-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Stop saying fuck that bitch when you know you love that girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krystal-nahdee/stop-saying-fuck-that-bitch-when-you-know-you-love-that-girl/) [Krystal Nahdee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krystal-nahdee/) > [“And for fuck’s sake, stop saying fuck!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/and-for-fuck-s-sake-stop-saying-fuck/) [Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/) ## More by Augusten Burroughs > [There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. 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Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-c-moore/) Browse all 591 Credit card quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Paul, all I know is that this is the third time we've talked tonight, you're saying 'fuck' to me, I'm a guy, and your penis has been mentioned numerous times. Jesus, you're acting like you're some teenager. Work through this shit with a shrink, man. I don't care if you're gay.' Here again, I achieved silence. But not for long. The breathing became heavy and then, 'What the fuck kind of game are you playing?' 'It's no game, man. You want to close a sale? I want to see your penis. It's a fair exchange if you ask me.' He hung up again, and I reached for my perfectly spicy, scratch-your-throat-like-a-cat-claw-hot Blenheim ginger ale and took a long swallow. This particular credit card company has not called me again. And, to my delight, AT&T never called me again after I asked one of their friendly Southern females if by any chance she happened to be a male-to-female transsexual, and if so, what vaginal depth her surgeon had managed to attain for her. 'Four inches is pretty common,' I told her. 'But if you dilate religiously, you can probably achieve five.' 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