---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Martin said, \"It feels as though part of…"
description: "\"Martin said, \"It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syn..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg"
---

#  Martin said, "It feels as though part of my self has…

![“Martin said, &quot;It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syndrome?&quot; Julia nodded. &quot;There's pain where she ought to be. It's feeding the other pain, the thing that makes me wash and count and all that. So her…” quote by Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg)

> “Martin said, "It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syndrome?" Julia nodded. "There's pain where she ought to be. It's feeding the other pain, the thing that makes me wash and count and all that. So her absence is stopping me from going to find her. Do you see?”

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The narrator feels a phantom limb of a missing self, causing pain and compulsive rituals.

**In simple terms:** Missing self causes pain.

Key Takeaway

Acknowledge loss and seek healing.

Themes

psychology loss identity

Mood

melancholic introspective

Type

literary psychological

When to use this quote

- Therapy
- grief counseling
- creative expression

Key Concepts

Neuroscience attachment theory

Questions to Reflect On

- How does this metaphor relate to your life?
- What rituals help you cope?

A Different Perspective

Phantom sensations may be symbolic, not literal.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Absence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/) [Amsterdam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amsterdam/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Phantoms](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/phantoms/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Syndromes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/syndromes/)

## Related quotes

> [She never got a chance to fall out of love, to do it properly, slowly and thoroughly, and the result was he was like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dunn/she-never-got-a-chance-to-fall-out-of-love-to-do-it-properly-slowly/)

[Sarah Dunn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dunn/)

> [“The thing is, you can cut off a couple passions and only focus on one, but after a while, you’ll start to feel phantom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-kleon/the-thing-is-you-can-cut-off-a-couple-passions-and-only-focus-on-one/)

[Austin Kleon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-kleon/)

> [“She suffered from the opposite of "phantom limb" syndrome; something essential appeared to be present, but it was not.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-bloom/she-suffered-from-the-opposite-of-phantom-limb-syndrome-something/)

[Amy Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-bloom/)

> [“if someone you loved died, someone who you were really close to, would they be like a phantom limb, still attached to you?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharyn-november/if-someone-you-loved-died-someone-who-you-were-really-close-to-would/)

Sharyn November

> [“Oedipa sat on the earth, ass getting cold, wondering whether, as Driblette had suggested that night from the shower, some version of herself hadn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-pynchon/oedipa-sat-on-the-earth-ass-getting-cold-wondering-whether-as/)

[Thomas Pynchon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-pynchon/)

> [“I once saw a show about an amputee who lost his leg and still feels it. He actually wakes up at night to scratch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-jordan/i-once-saw-a-show-about-an-amputee-who-lost-his-leg-and-still-feels/)

[Sophie Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-jordan/)

> [But mostly I wondered why the head could move so swiftly while the heart dragged its feet. I still loved him. It felt like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-picoult/but-mostly-i-wondered-why-the-head-could-move-so-swiftly-while-the/)

[Jodi Picoult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-picoult/)

> [ ...for most people in the \[Jewish\] Ghetto \[of Warsaw\] nature lived only in memory -- no parks, birds, or greenery existed in the Ghetto… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-ackerman/for-most-people-in-the-jewish-ghetto-of-warsaw-nature-lived-only-in/)

[Diane Ackerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-ackerman/)

> [I want to talk to her. I want to have lunch with her. I want her to give me a book she just read…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/i-want-to-talk-to-her-i-want-to-have-lunch-with-her-i-want-her-to/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [I felt more alone that week than any. Sometimes I'd feel a body lying next to me like an amputee feels a phantom limb.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harvey-pekar/i-felt-more-alone-that-week-than-any-sometimes-i-d-feel-a-body-lying/)

[Harvey Pekar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harvey-pekar/)

> [It is not simply what one remembers, but why. There are sites of amputation where the past is severed from the body of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camilla-gibb/it-is-not-simply-what-one-remembers-but-why-there-are-sites-of/)

[Camilla Gibb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camilla-gibb/)

> [Meg was going to have to learn for herself what Laurie had figured out over the summer - that it was better to leave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/meg-was-going-to-have-to-learn-for-herself-what-laurie-had-figured/)

[Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/)

> [I think that if you look at places like Amsterdam and places where pot is very legal they do well with it. There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-buffalo-mailer/i-think-that-if-you-look-at-places-like-amsterdam-and-places-where/)

[John Buffalo Mailer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-buffalo-mailer/)

> [“There are skeletons in this earth.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-duyvis/there-are-skeletons-in-this-earth/)

[Corinne Duyvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-duyvis/)

> [In Europe, I always have fun bike riding in Amsterdam.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ezra-koenig/in-europe-i-always-have-fun-bike-riding-in-amsterdam/)

[Ezra Koenig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ezra-koenig/)

## More by Audrey Niffenegger

> [But you know: you know that if I could have stayed, if I could have gone on, that I would have clutched every second:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/but-you-know-you-know-that-if-i-could-have-stayed-if-i-could-have/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [I look at him, look at the book, remember, this book, this moment, the first book I ever loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/i-look-at-him-look-at-the-book-remember-this-book-this-moment-the/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“When I was young I didn't understand, but now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/when-i-was-young-i-didn-t-understand-but-now-i-know-how-absence-can/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [Everything seems simple until you think about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/everything-seems-simple-until-you-think-about-it/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [I place my hands over her ears and tip her head back, and kiss her, and try to put my heart into hers, for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/i-place-my-hands-over-her-ears-and-tip-her-head-back-and-kiss-her-and/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“Sister Carmelita says animals don't have souls" "Of course animals have souls, where did she get that idea?" "She said the Pope says." "The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/sister-carmelita-says-animals-don-t-have-souls-of-course-animals-have/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [We didn't think the library was funny looking in it's faux- Greek splendor, nor did we find the cuisine limited or bland, or the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/we-didn-t-think-the-library-was-funny-looking-in-it-s-faux-greek/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [He said something interesting: he said that he thinks there is only free will when you are in time, in the present. He says…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/he-said-something-interesting-he-said-that-he-thinks-there-is-only/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“Dead is the most alone you can be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/dead-is-the-most-alone-you-can-be/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [What are you doing?" Nothing. Breaking and entering. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/what-are-you-doing-nothing-breaking-and-entering-pay-no-attention-to/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [I won't ever leave you, even though you're always leaving me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/i-won-t-ever-leave-you-even-though-you-re-always-leaving-me/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“It seems like we're going to collide, and we laugh, and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/it-seems-like-we-re-going-to-collide-and-we-laugh-and-laugh-and/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“We were royally miserable together.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/we-were-royally-miserable-together/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“No.” Valentina closed her eyes. Of course not. “It’ll be great, Mouse. We’ll have our own apartment, we won’t have to work,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/no-valentina-closed-her-eyes-of-course-not-it-ll-be-great-mouse-we-ll/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

> [“I make books because I love them as objects; because I want to put the pictures and the words together, because I want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/i-make-books-because-i-love-them-as-objects-because-i-want-to-put-the/)

[Audrey Niffenegger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

[Explore all 250 Audrey Niffenegger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/)

## More Absence quotes

> [Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweeteneth it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-howell/distance-sometimes-endears-friendship-and-absence-sweeteneth-it/)

[James Howell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-howell/)

> [The work, the work, the work. This is what the business is all about. This is the fun, the glory, the pleasure. It's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-dusenberry/the-work-the-work-the-work-this-is-what-the-business-is-all-about/)

[Phil Dusenberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-dusenberry/)

> [Total depravity means the entire absence of holiness, not the highest intensity of sin. A totally depraved man is not as bad as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/total-depravity-means-the-entire-absence-of-holiness-not-the-highest/)

[William Greenough Thayer Shedd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-greenough-thayer-shedd/)

> [Local and state governments have outrun the federal government. The EPA has served notice that it will enact a rule requiring CO2 reductions by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-gore/local-and-state-governments-have-outrun-the-federal-government-the/)

[Al Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-gore/)

> [There, in the center of that silence was not eternity but the death of time and a loneliness so profound the word itself had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/there-in-the-center-of-that-silence-was-not-eternity-but-the-death-of/)

[Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/)

> [Of all the bewildering things about a new country, the absence of human landmarks is one of the most depressing and disheartening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willa-cather/of-all-the-bewildering-things-about-a-new-country-the-absence-of/)

[Willa Cather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willa-cather/)

> [Young men have strong passions and tend to gratify them indiscriminately. Of the bodily desires, it is the sexual by which they are most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/young-men-have-strong-passions-and-tend-to-gratify-them/)

[Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/)

> [It is suggested that in domestic violence at least the presence or absence of a firearm, or of any other type of weapon, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-greenwood/it-is-suggested-that-in-domestic-violence-at-least-the-presence-or/)

[Colin Greenwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-greenwood/)

> [The absence of God in most spheres of life is perceived to be normal, and even Christians feel it as normal - which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/the-absence-of-god-in-most-spheres-of-life-is-perceived-to-be-normal/)

[John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/)

> [Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/every-person-needs-to-take-one-day-away-a-day-in-which-one/)

[Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/)

> [“I was thinking how most people don't make you feel much of anything at all. Don't make you feel like time spent with them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-lotter/i-was-thinking-how-most-people-don-t-make-you-feel-much-of-anything/)

[Jane Lotter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-lotter/)

> [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/)

[Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/)

> [Many are observing Ferguson and witnessing the anger, demonstrations, looting and vandalism and calling for quiet. But quiet isn't enough. The absence of noise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-jackson/many-are-observing-ferguson-and-witnessing-the-anger-demonstrations/)

[Jesse Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-jackson/)

> [Will capitalist economies operate at full employment in the absence of routine intervention? Certainly not. Are deviations from full employment a social problem? Obviously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-yellen/will-capitalist-economies-operate-at-full-employment-in-the-absence/)

[Janet Yellen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-yellen/)

> [We must begin by acknowledging that there is a complete absence of two things in Indian Society. One of these is equality. On the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-r-ambedkar/we-must-begin-by-acknowledging-that-there-is-a-complete-absence-of/)

[B. R. Ambedkar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-r-ambedkar/)

[Browse all 2,057 Absence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absence/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Martin said, \"It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syndrome?\" Julia nodded. \"There's pain where she ought to be. It's feeding the other pain, the thing that makes me wash and count and all that. So her absence is stopping me from going to find her. Do you see?",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Audrey Niffenegger"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-my-self-has-detached-and-gone/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Absence"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-my-self-has-detached-and-gone/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cc/audrey-niffenegger-1298_absence_martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-m_2590316.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Martin said, \"It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting…” — Audrey Niffenegger",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Audrey Niffenegger",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-niffenegger/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Martin said, \"It feels as though...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-my-self-has-detached-and-gone/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-niffenegger/martin-said-it-feels-as-though-part-of-my-self-has-detached-and-gone/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
