--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A decade earlier, her…" description: "\"“A decade earlier, her seventy-four-year-old father, Jack Block, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, was ad..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/atul-gawande-1871_chocolate-ice-cream_a-decade-earlier-her-seventy-four-year-o_1537466.jpg" --- # A decade earlier, her seventy-four-year-old father, Jack… ![“A decade earlier, her seventy-four-year-old father, Jack Block, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, was admitted to a San Francisco hospital with symptoms from what proved to be a mass growing in the spinal cord of his neck. She flew out to see him. The…” quote by Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/atul-gawande-1871_chocolate-ice-cream_a-decade-earlier-her-seventy-four-year-o_1537466.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/atul-gawande-1871_chocolate-ice-cream_a-decade-earlier-her-seventy-four-year-o_1537466.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/atul-gawande-1871_chocolate-ice-cream_a-decade-earlier-her-seventy-four-year-o_1537466.jpg) > ““A decade earlier, her seventy-four-year-old father, Jack Block, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, was admitted to a San Francisco hospital with symptoms from what proved to be a mass growing in the spinal cord of his neck. She flew out to see him. The neurosurgeon said that the procedure to remove the mass carried a 20 percent chance of leaving him quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down. But without it he had a 100 percent chance of becoming quadriplegic. The evening before surgery, father and daughter chatted about friends and family, trying to keep their minds off what was to come, and then she left for the night. Halfway across the Bay Bridge, she recalled, “I realized, ‘Oh, my God, I don’t know what he really wants.’” He’d made her his health care proxy, but they had talked about such situations only superficially. So she turned the car around. Going back in “was really uncomfortable,” she said. It made no difference that she was an expert in end-of-life discussions. “I just felt awful having the conversation with my dad.” But she went through her list. She told him, “‘ I need to understand how much you’re willing to go through to have a shot at being alive and what level of being alive is tolerable to you.’ We had this quite agonizing conversation where he said—and this totally shocked me—‘ Well, if I’m able to eat chocolate ice cream and watch football on TV, then I’m willing to stay alive. I’m willing to go through a lot of pain if I have a shot at that.’” “I would never have expected him to say that,”” [Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A daughter confronts a life‑changing medical decision with her aging father, learning his simple priorities outweigh clinical complexities. **In simple terms:** She discovers his wishes are simple: enjoy ice cream and football despite pain. Key Takeaway Ask loved ones about their core values before crises. Themes family medical ethics communication Mood reflective empathetic Type narrative ethical personal. When to use this quote - hospital decision - family discussions - care planning Key Concepts patient autonomy end‑of‑life decision making Questions to Reflect On - What would you consider a tolerable quality of life? - How can clinicians facilitate honest value‑based conversations? A Different Perspective Patients may prioritize quality over quantity, challenging medical assumptions. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Chocolate ice cream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chocolate-ice-cream/) [Father And Daughter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father-and-daughter-2/) [Friends and family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friends-and-family/) [Health care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/health-care/) [Ice cream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ice-cream/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [San francisco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/san-francisco/) ## Related quotes > [“Her own mother had died when Anna was twelve and since then father and daughter had faced the world like a pair of nineteenth-century…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-banville/her-own-mother-had-died-when-anna-was-twelve-and-since-then-father/) [John Banville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-banville/) > [A wedding is for daughters and fathers. 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The bond is also more complex than the one between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-klein/the-tie-is-stronger-than-that-between-father-and-son-and-father-and/) Carol Klein > [“Our parts now -- which perforce we must play -- are not father and daughter, but one old Abhorsen, making way for the new.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garth-nix/our-parts-now-which-perforce-we-must-play-are-not-father-and-daughter/) [Garth Nix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garth-nix/) > [“A number of terrible things about falling in love make it not worth the time and the effort. But the worst of these is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dexter-palmer/a-number-of-terrible-things-about-falling-in-love-make-it-not-worth/) [Dexter Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dexter-palmer/) > [“I hate parties. And a wedding is the biggest party of all. All the guests arrived and Orpheus is taking a shower. 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Year by year, I witnessed the progression in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atul-gawande/when-felix-came-to-this-crossroads-the-orthopedic-shoe-to-drop-wasn-t/) [Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) [Explore all 200 Atul Gawande quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) ## More Chocolate ice cream quotes > [While I do not have a sweet tooth, I am a fan of the dark chocolate ice cream at Baskin Robbins.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gad-saad/while-i-do-not-have-a-sweet-tooth-i-am-a-fan-of-the-dark-chocolate/) [Gad Saad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gad-saad/) > [“Mix together a frozen banana, a few tablespoons of coconut flakes, two Medjool dates, and 2 teaspoons of cocoa powder—and just like that, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-fuhrman/mix-together-a-frozen-banana-a-few-tablespoons-of-coconut-flakes-two/) [Joel Fuhrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-fuhrman/) > [“I just wondered why God hasn’t ever delivered chocolate ice cream to me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-smith/i-just-wondered-why-god-hasn-t-ever-delivered-chocolate-ice-cream-to/) [Virginia Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-smith/) > [“So how do you live with all this?” “Same way any guy survives life with a woman.”  Michael’s eyes twinkled.  “Beer, sex, and keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debora-geary/so-how-do-you-live-with-all-this-same-way-any-guy-survives-life-with/) [Debora Geary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debora-geary/) > [I'm helping launch the new Milky Way Chocolate Ice Cream Bar. 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It's almost better than chocolate ice cream.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madylin-sweeten/i-like-playing-make-believe-and-my-brothers-do-it-with-me-so-it-s-fun/) Madylin Sweeten [Browse all 26 Chocolate ice cream quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chocolate-ice-cream/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A decade earlier, her seventy-four-year-old father, Jack Block, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley, was admitted to a San Francisco hospital with symptoms from what proved to be a mass growing in the spinal cord of his neck. She flew out to see him. The neurosurgeon said that the procedure to remove the mass carried a 20 percent chance of leaving him quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down. But without it he had a 100 percent chance of becoming quadriplegic. The evening before surgery, father and daughter chatted about friends and family, trying to keep their minds off what was to come, and then she left for the night. Halfway across the Bay Bridge, she recalled, “I realized, ‘Oh, my God, I don’t know what he really wants.’” He’d made her his health care proxy, but they had talked about such situations only superficially. So she turned the car around. Going back in “was really uncomfortable,” she said. It made no difference that she was an expert in end-of-life discussions. “I just felt awful having the conversation with my dad.” But she went through her list. She told him, “‘ I need to understand how much you’re willing to go through to have a shot at being alive and what level of being alive is tolerable to you.’ We had this quite agonizing conversation where he said—and this totally shocked me—‘ Well, if I’m able to eat chocolate ice cream and watch football on TV, then I’m willing to stay alive. 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