--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I spent so many years not understanding…" description: "\"I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity, not having the language to talk about it, and not feeling safe in many environments to ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg" --- # I spent so many years not understanding my own gender… ![“I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity, not having the language to talk about it, and not feeling safe in many environments to talk about it.” quote by Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg) > “I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity, not having the language to talk about it, and not feeling safe in many environments to talk about it.” [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker reflects on personal struggle with gender identity due to lack of language and unsafe environments. **In simple terms:** Lack of language and safety hinder understanding gender identity. Key Takeaway Seek supportive spaces and language to explore identity. Themes identity language acceptance mental health social safety Mood reflective empathetic Type personal educational When to use this quote - therapy groups - online forums - educational workshops - personal journaling Key Concepts gender theory self‑discovery psychology Questions to Reflect On - How can communities create safer spaces for gender exploration? - What language helps articulate your identity? A Different Perspective Progress depends on external acceptance, not just internal insight. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feeling Safe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-safe/) [Gender identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gender-identity/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language/) [Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding/) ## Related quotes > [I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity and not having the language for it, and not having those conversations, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-and/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Right now, women's worth is being quantified by how they look and their Instagrams and likes. That's all so self-created, so why are we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-aniston/right-now-women-s-worth-is-being-quantified-by-how-they-look-and/) [Jennifer Aniston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-aniston/) > [I began to see what people were capable of doing. Anyone who moved through those years without understanding that man produces evil as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-golding/i-began-to-see-what-people-were-capable-of-doing-anyone-who-moved/) [William Golding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-golding/) > [Fifty years from now if an understanding of man's origins, his evolution, his history, his progress is not in the common place of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacob-bronowski/fifty-years-from-now-if-an-understanding-of-man-s-origins-his/) [Jacob Bronowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacob-bronowski/) > [Years ago, I carved out an identity, and it has always been about having a voice to tell people about stuff I love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-trunk/years-ago-i-carved-out-an-identity-and-it-has-always-been-about/) [Eddie Trunk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-trunk/) > [As someone who is non-binary gender identifying, I feel a particular responsibility to portray members of my community on stage and on screen, not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/as-someone-who-is-non-binary-gender-identifying-i-feel-a-particular/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that only gender non-conforming, non-binary, or trans people have a gender identity. But the truth is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-think-one-of-the-biggest-misconceptions-is-that-only-gender-non/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Some people's gender identity conforms to the sex they were assigned at birth, and some people's identity doesn't. That realization was certainly very freeing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/some-people-s-gender-identity-conforms-to-the-sex-they-were-assigned/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [What I learned through my research is that the word 'actor,' specifically in reference to those who performed in plays, came about in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/what-i-learned-through-my-research-is-that-the-word-actor/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Non-binary is a term used by some people, myself included, who feel that their gender identity falls outside the tradition boxes of man or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/non-binary-is-a-term-used-by-some-people-myself-included-who-feel/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I do say gender fluid, because I experience my gender identity as being fluid because it's on a spectrum.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-do-say-gender-fluid-because-i-experience-my-gender-identity-as/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Wanting to talk to you but feeling like I annoy you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wanting-to-talk-to-you-but-feeling-like-i-annoy-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Its often just enough to be with someone. I dont need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. Youre…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maddie/its-often-just-enough-to-be-with-someone-i-dont-need-to-touch-them/) Maddie > [It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-monroe/it-s-often-just-enough-to-be-with-someone-i-don-t-need-to-touch-them/) [Marilyn Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-monroe/) > [Sometimes my day is crammed full of people and talk and yet I have the feeling of living in utter peace and quiet. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/etty-hillesum/sometimes-my-day-is-crammed-full-of-people-and-talk-and-yet-i-have/) [Etty Hillesum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/etty-hillesum/) ## More by Asia Kate Dillon > [If you don't meet luck halfway with really hard work, luck won't get you all the way there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/if-you-don-t-meet-luck-halfway-with-really-hard-work-luck-won-t-get/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [We've been socialised and told that there is a way to describe people, and that way is by their gender or their sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/we-ve-been-socialised-and-told-that-there-is-a-way-to-describe-people/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I was assigned female at birth. My gender identify is non-binary.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-was-assigned-female-at-birth-my-gender-identify-is-non-binary/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [What we need to do is get rid of 'men's' and 'women's' sections and make sections that are, like, 'dresses for tall people,' 'pants…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/what-we-need-to-do-is-get-rid-of-men-s-and-women-s-sections-and-make/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Honestly, from a very young age, before I had the language, really - anywhere that I encountered binary, whether it was in clothing or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/honestly-from-a-very-young-age-before-i-had-the-language-really/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I'm really interested in going back in to the history of non-binary people and seeing how many people in history were non-binary but that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-m-really-interested-in-going-back-in-to-the-history-of-non-binary/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that only gender non-conforming, non-binary, or trans people have a gender identity. But the truth is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-think-one-of-the-biggest-misconceptions-is-that-only-gender-non/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > ['Actor' and 'actress' don't have to be gendered or sexed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/actor-and-actress-don-t-have-to-be-gendered-or-sexed/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I love that although the world is a dangerous place, I still find it to be beautiful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-love-that-although-the-world-is-a-dangerous-place-i-still-find-it/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [When you are not working in TV and primarily doing film, you're working with one director for a long period of time, so getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/when-you-are-not-working-in-tv-and-primarily-doing-film-you-re/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I moved to New York at 17 to go to school. At 24, I moved back to Ithaca, then moved back to New York at 28.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-moved-to-new-york-at-17-to-go-to-school-at-24-i-moved-back-to/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [Creating more characters that represent historically marginalized and historically disenfranchised people in television and film is certainly important.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/creating-more-characters-that-represent-historically-marginalized-and/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity and not having the language for it, and not having those conversations, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-and/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [I'm very careful with my media intake. I try and monitor it pretty carefully.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-m-very-careful-with-my-media-intake-i-try-and-monitor-it-pretty/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [In my real life, I'm a Black Lives Matter social justice activist, and so it was incredibly interesting to me to play somebody coming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/in-my-real-life-i-m-a-black-lives-matter-social-justice-activist-and/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) [Explore all 83 Asia Kate Dillon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) ## More Gender identity quotes > [If you find yourself in a relationship or even a friendship with someone who's conflicted with their gender identity, just be kind. This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-d-thompson/if-you-find-yourself-in-a-relationship-or-even-a-friendship-with/) [Linda D. Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-d-thompson/) > [Sexuality is who you want to be with. Gender identity is who you want to be in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hari-nef/sexuality-is-who-you-want-to-be-with-gender-identity-is-who-you-want/) [Hari Nef](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hari-nef/) > [Too often, when transgender people die, family members or funeral homes will end up dressing a body of a transgender person in the garments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-mcbride/too-often-when-transgender-people-die-family-members-or-funeral-homes/) [Sarah McBride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-mcbride/) > [I think we all are born inside of our parents' narratives. We stay there for a good while. We are taught their narratives about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-febos/i-think-we-all-are-born-inside-of-our-parents-narratives-we-stay/) [Melissa Febos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-febos/) > [“If your organization is not formally committed to a policy of nondiscrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression or gender presentation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-d-acquaviva/if-your-organization-is-not-formally-committed-to-a-policy-of/) [Kimberly D. Acquaviva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-d-acquaviva/) > [We are undermining a generation's happiness by depriving them of national identity, religious identity, and gender identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-prager/we-are-undermining-a-generation-s-happiness-by-depriving-them-of/) [Dennis Prager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-prager/) > [“Feminism is itself a challenge. Feminism is a challenge to the way things are in the world. It is by definition an oppositional movement,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-maddow/feminism-is-itself-a-challenge-feminism-is-a-challenge-to-the-way/) [Rachel Maddow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-maddow/) > [“When we are a spiritual student, our gender identity is omni-gender and our relationship status is omni-relationship-status.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/when-we-are-a-spiritual-student-our-gender-identity-is-omni-gender/) [Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/) > [A big part of gender identity is finding the clothes you feel comfortable and authentic in. I always gravitated to men's clothing, but as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-flip/a-big-part-of-gender-identity-is-finding-the-clothes-you-feel/) [G Flip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-flip/) > [What does it mean to be an American today? The question of that is always pointing at now. It allows someone to say what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-davis/what-does-it-mean-to-be-an-american-today-the-question-of-that-is/) Will Davis > [By December 2009, I had come to terms with my gender identity just as I was deployed to Iraq.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-manning/by-december-2009-i-had-come-to-terms-with-my-gender-identity-just-as/) [Chelsea Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-manning/) > [I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that only gender non-conforming, non-binary, or trans people have a gender identity. But the truth is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-think-one-of-the-biggest-misconceptions-is-that-only-gender-non/) [Asia Kate Dillon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/) > [“...first we should not seek to derive the content of gender identity by mirroring God, because any femininity or masculinity we may find in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miroslav-volf/first-we-should-not-seek-to-derive-the-content-of-gender-identity-by/) [Miroslav Volf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miroslav-volf/) > [As I started to explore my gender identity, I didn't know how I could claim the title of 'feminist' without subscribing to the gender…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amandla-stenberg/as-i-started-to-explore-my-gender-identity-i-didn-t-know-how-i-could/) [Amandla Stenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amandla-stenberg/) > [I learned that gender identity runs very deep in all of us, very near the center of our sense of self and messing with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norah-vincent/i-learned-that-gender-identity-runs-very-deep-in-all-of-us-very-near/) [Norah Vincent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norah-vincent/) [Browse all 103 Gender identity quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gender-identity/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity, not having the language to talk about it, and not feeling safe in many environments to talk about it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Asia Kate Dillon" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-not/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Gender identity" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-not/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0f/asia-kate-dillon-8147_gender-identity_i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding_545488.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I spent so many years not understanding my own gender identity, not having the language to talk about it…” — Asia Kate Dillon", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Asia Kate Dillon", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asia-kate-dillon/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I spent so many years not...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-not/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asia-kate-dillon/i-spent-so-many-years-not-understanding-my-own-gender-identity-not/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```