--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I was a kid, my mother's parenting…" description: "\"When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered between benign neglect and intense bouts of violence.\" — Ariel Gore" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png" --- # When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered… ![“When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered between benign neglect and intense bouts of violence.” quote by Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png) > “When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered between benign neglect and intense bouts of violence.” [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Childhood was marked by inconsistent care, ranging from neglect to violence, shaping the author's perspective. **In simple terms:** Inconsistent parenting left lasting impacts. Key Takeaway Seek stable, nurturing relationships. Themes family childhood abuse Mood reflective somber Type personal psychological When to use this quote - counseling - support groups - personal reflection Key Concepts trauma parenting styles resilience Questions to Reflect On - How does early trauma affect adult life? - What can break cycles of neglect? A Different Perspective May generalize personal experience. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Benign](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/benign/) [Intense](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intense/) [Kid Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kid-mother-544115/) [Kids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kids/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Mother Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother-parenting-913114/) [Neglect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neglect/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parenting Style](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting-style-913115/) [Style](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/style/) [Violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violence/) ## Related quotes > [I truly love the challenges of being a mother, co-parenting and finding the space to allow myself to work rigorously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asher-keddie/i-truly-love-the-challenges-of-being-a-mother-co-parenting-and/) [Asher Keddie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asher-keddie/) > [“When I was a kid, my mother said, ‘Stephen if you were a girl, you’d always be pregnant.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-said-stephen-if-you-were-a-girl-you-d/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [When I was a kid, my mother was hospitalized, she was schizophrenic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-lepore/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-was-hospitalized-she-was-schizophrenic/) [Amanda Lepore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-lepore/) > [If I do a movie where I have to have a son and it's a chubby kid, my mother is always like, 'You were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-james/if-i-do-a-movie-where-i-have-to-have-a-son-and-it-s-a-chubby-kid-my/) [Kevin James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-james/) > [Benign neglect, bordering on sloth, remains the hallmark of our investment process.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-buffett/benign-neglect-bordering-on-sloth-remains-the-hallmark-of-our/) [Warren Buffett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-buffett/) > [The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-duckworth/the-parenting-style-that-is-good-for-grit-is-also-the-parenting-style/) [Angela Duckworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-duckworth/) > [Those of us whose parenting style can be described as "a series of reflexes, instincts, and minute-by-minute adjustments," as Julie of A Little Pregnant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayelet-waldman/those-of-us-whose-parenting-style-can-be-described-as-a-series-of/) [Ayelet Waldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayelet-waldman/) > [There was kind of a no-nonsense parenting style that my parents had that was true of the time. Everything now... there are books, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-f-goldberg/there-was-kind-of-a-no-nonsense-parenting-style-that-my-parents-had/) [Adam F. Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-f-goldberg/) > [How my parents are in the kitchen is a good indicator of their parenting style. Mum cooks for sustenance, wants to get in and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nadiya-hussain/how-my-parents-are-in-the-kitchen-is-a-good-indicator-of-their/) [Nadiya Hussain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nadiya-hussain/) > [My parenting style is probably like that of my parents, because you do how you learn. My mother was very nurturing and loving, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-whitley/my-parenting-style-is-probably-like-that-of-my-parents-because-you-do/) [Kym Whitley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-whitley/) > [My parenting style could be described as not good cop or bad cop so much as nervous cop. I'm always yelling for somebody to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-reiser/my-parenting-style-could-be-described-as-not-good-cop-or-bad-cop-so/) [Paul Reiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-reiser/) > [I think Lincoln had a unique parenting style. He let his kids run free and wild.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/i-think-lincoln-had-a-unique-parenting-style-he-let-his-kids-run-free/) [Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/) > [My daughter's position in our household is definitely higher than mine. I listen to her a lot. I guess you can say that's my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhao-wei/my-daughter-s-position-in-our-household-is-definitely-higher-than/) [Zhao Wei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhao-wei/) > [Attachment parenting is not a passive parenting style.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mayim-bialik/attachment-parenting-is-not-a-passive-parenting-style/) [Mayim Bialik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mayim-bialik/) > [I've become sort of an accidental advocate for attachment parenting, which is a style of parenting that... basically, the way mammals parent and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mayim-bialik/i-ve-become-sort-of-an-accidental-advocate-for-attachment-parenting/) [Mayim Bialik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mayim-bialik/) ## More by Ariel Gore > [“When we strike a balance between the challenge of an activity and our skill at performing it, when the rhythm of the work itself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-we-strike-a-balance-between-the-challenge-of-an-activity-and-our/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [When you study postpartum depression, there is a very clear understanding that in communities where you see more support, there is less depression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-you-study-postpartum-depression-there-is-a-very-clear/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [I don't know if my mother was a narcissist - or bi-polar or borderline. Those were words she tossed around over the years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/i-don-t-know-if-my-mother-was-a-narcissist-or-bi-polar-or-borderline/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [“No one ever does the last thing on their list.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/no-one-ever-does-the-last-thing-on-their-list/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [Conventional wisdom tells us we'll only be happier after a divorce if the marriage itself was a war zone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/conventional-wisdom-tells-us-we-ll-only-be-happier-after-a-divorce-if/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [My own habit had always been to write about the things that ticked me off in a given day. If I kept a journal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/my-own-habit-had-always-been-to-write-about-the-things-that-ticked-me/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [I think there are different kinds of happiness. We know when we're happy a lot of the time, but then there are those moments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/i-think-there-are-different-kinds-of-happiness-we-know-when-we-re/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [Some caregivers want to reciprocate the care they themselves received as children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/some-caregivers-want-to-reciprocate-the-care-they-themselves-received/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [“I wanted to be a writer, so I became one. How? I wrote things down.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/i-wanted-to-be-a-writer-so-i-became-one-how-i-wrote-things-down/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [ “Poet' had always sounded like a profession to me, or a talent. But the dead American \[Muriel Rukeyser, The Life of Poetry\] made it… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/poet-had-always-sounded-like-a-profession-to-me-or-a-talent-but-the/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [In my experience, staying in a marriage that my ex and I both agreed had all its best moments behind it was epically depressing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/in-my-experience-staying-in-a-marriage-that-my-ex-and-i-both-agreed/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [I always do like seeing other people dance in their cars. It's one of the things that makes me happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/i-always-do-like-seeing-other-people-dance-in-their-cars-it-s-one-of/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [Maybe it goes without saying that if you want to become a famous writer before you’re dead, you’ll have to write something. But the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/maybe-it-goes-without-saying-that-if-you-want-to-become-a-famous/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [Your heart is the size of your fist; keep loving, keep fighting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/your-heart-is-the-size-of-your-fist-keep-loving-keep-fighting/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [New Agers have always told us that we create our own realities. Mind over matter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/new-agers-have-always-told-us-that-we-create-our-own-realities-mind/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) [Explore all 41 Ariel Gore quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) ## More Benign quotes > [The plausible outcomes range from the gradual and benign to the more precipitous and damaging.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-geithner/the-plausible-outcomes-range-from-the-gradual-and-benign-to-the-more/) [Timothy Geithner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-geithner/) > [Whereas religions may serve a benign purpose by letting many people feel comfortable with the level of morality they themselves can attain, no religion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-dennett/whereas-religions-may-serve-a-benign-purpose-by-letting-many-people/) [Daniel Dennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-dennett/) > [Factory-farm lobbyists are so powerful and so well funded and they do everything in their power to hide the truth about farming. They keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moby/factory-farm-lobbyists-are-so-powerful-and-so-well-funded-and-they-do/) [Moby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moby/) > [Fame is indeed beautiful and benign and gentle and satisfying, but happiness is something at once tender and brilliant beyond all things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-maclane/fame-is-indeed-beautiful-and-benign-and-gentle-and-satisfying-but/) [Mary MacLane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-maclane/) > [Cultural institutions by and large share one primary objective: herd control. Even when ostensibly benign, their propensity for manipulation, compartmentalization, standardization and suppression of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/cultural-institutions-by-and-large-share-one-primary-objective-herd/) [Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/) > [Every single empire in its official discourse has said that it is not like all the others, that its circumstances are special, that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-said/every-single-empire-in-its-official-discourse-has-said-that-it-is-not/) [Edward Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-said/) > [Acid wasn't getting a whole lot of bad press at the time, and as I saw the whole bad-press thing happen, I became aware…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-rettig/acid-wasn-t-getting-a-whole-lot-of-bad-press-at-the-time-and-as-i-saw/) [Tommy Rettig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-rettig/) > [Beneficent spirals, operating by benign feedback, mean that everything needful is not required at once: each individual improvement is beneficial for the whole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-jacobs/beneficent-spirals-operating-by-benign-feedback-mean-that-everything/) [Jane Jacobs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-jacobs/) > [I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/i-looked-up-at-the-mass-of-signs-and-stars-in-the-night-sky-and-laid/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [Orders can be benign or malign, but the habit of obeying them can become ingrained.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-dalrymple/orders-can-be-benign-or-malign-but-the-habit-of-obeying-them-can/) [Theodore Dalrymple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-dalrymple/) > [Intelligence may indeed be a benign influence creating isolated groups of philosopher-kings far apart in the heavens... On the other hand, intelligence may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/freeman-dyson/intelligence-may-indeed-be-a-benign-influence-creating-isolated/) [Freeman Dyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/freeman-dyson/) > [Every major player is working on this technology of artificial intelligence. As of now, it's benign... but I would say that the day is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-bell/every-major-player-is-working-on-this-technology-of-artificial/) [Ted Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-bell/) > [Of course, I prefer organic farming to chemical-dependent farming, but sometimes absolutist organic prescriptions go too far. I don't even rule out the possibility…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tristram-stuart/of-course-i-prefer-organic-farming-to-chemical-dependent-farming-but/) [Tristram Stuart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tristram-stuart/) > [How do you survive living in a cell knowing you are innocent? Many of those exonerated whom I have met seem to have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-lagravenese/how-do-you-survive-living-in-a-cell-knowing-you-are-innocent-many-of/) [Richard LaGravenese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-lagravenese/) > [Human nature has its fatal weaknesses, but 'love' means embracing the whole of human nature, the bad within the good, the benign within the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/qiu-miaojin/human-nature-has-its-fatal-weaknesses-but-love-means-embracing-the/) [Qiu Miaojin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/qiu-miaojin/) [Browse all 210 Benign quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/benign/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered between benign neglect and intense bouts of violence.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ariel Gore" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-style-teetered-between-benign/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Benign" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-style-teetered-between-benign/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/ariel-gore-16108_benign_when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-s_2485861.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I was a kid, my mother's parenting style teetered between benign neglect and intense bouts of violence.” — Ariel Gore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ariel Gore", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "When I was a kid, my...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-style-teetered-between-benign/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-i-was-a-kid-my-mother-s-parenting-style-teetered-between-benign/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```