--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A man who desires to soften another man's…" description: "\"“A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her.”\" — Anthony Trollope" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg" --- # A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should… ![“A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her.” quote by Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg) > ““A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her.”” [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A man who tries to soften a woman's heart must first endure self‑abuse; softening a woman's heart may involve harming her. **In simple terms:** Love can be self‑destructive. Key Takeaway Beware of harmful affection. Themes love power dynamics gender self‑sacrifice Mood critical analytical Type literary social commentary When to use this quote - romantic relationships - social expectations - emotional manipulation - gender studies Key Concepts literature feminist critique Questions to Reflect On - Why do we romanticize self‑harm? - What healthier ways to connect emotionally? A Different Perspective Romantic sacrifice can be toxic. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abuse Softening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse-softening-2668098/) [Another man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another-man/) [Desires Soften](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desires-soften-2668100/) [Heart Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart-abuse-1671423/) [Soften Man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soften-man-2668099/) [Softening Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/softening-woman-2668101/) [Woman's Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/womans-heart/) ## Related quotes > [I don't believe the human heart was made to be put through the abuse of the dating world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bethany-joy-galeotti/i-don-t-believe-the-human-heart-was-made-to-be-put-through-the-abuse/) [Bethany Joy Galeotti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bethany-joy-galeotti/) > [“If daughters couldn't soften a man, then nothing would.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-weaver-clarke/if-daughters-couldn-t-soften-a-man-then-nothing-would/) [Linda Weaver Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-weaver-clarke/) > [I would give anything for a female's hand on me tonight. they soften a man and then leave him listening to the rain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/i-would-give-anything-for-a-female-s-hand-on-me-tonight-they-soften-a/) [Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/) > [Don't play with woman's heart, why mislead a good woman if you know you're not going to love her the way she deserves to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-play-with-woman-s-heart-why-mislead-a-good-woman-if-you-know/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A woman's heart must be of such a size and no larger, else it must be pressed small, like Chinese feet; her happiness is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/a-woman-s-heart-must-be-of-such-a-size-and-no-larger-else-it-must-be/) [George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/) > [“Man's got the power to break a woman's heart. Women have their own power. Learn this in future, choose better.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/man-s-got-the-power-to-break-a-woman-s-heart-women-have-their-own/) [Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/) > [A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/titanic/a-woman-s-heart-is-an-ocean-of-secrets/) [Titanic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/titanic/) > [“The streets of Aqaba are shell spirals and, on summer nights, crowded and complicated as a woman's heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-abu-jaber/the-streets-of-aqaba-are-shell-spirals-and-on-summer-nights-crowded/) [Diana Abu-Jaber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-abu-jaber/) > [A woman's heart is just like a lithographer's stone; what is once written upon it cannot be rubbed out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-makepeace-thackeray/a-woman-s-heart-is-just-like-a-lithographer-s-stone-what-is-once/) [William Makepeace Thackeray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-makepeace-thackeray/) > [In the era of Venus Williams, girliness and goo isn't the way to every woman's heart. Yet publishers presume that women only buy a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/in-the-era-of-venus-williams-girliness-and-goo-isn-t-the-way-to-every/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-dane/the-way-to-a-woman-s-heart-is-through-your-wallet/) [Frank Dane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-dane/) > [She has man's brain--a brain that a man should have were he much gifted--and woman's heart. The good God fashioned her for a purpose,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bram-stoker/she-has-man-s-brain-a-brain-that-a-man-should-have-were-he-much/) [Bram Stoker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bram-stoker/) > [To get a woman's heart, a man must first use his own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-dobbertin/to-get-a-woman-s-heart-a-man-must-first-use-his-own/) [Mike Dobbertin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-dobbertin/) > [Men will gamble and plot and fight and fall, all for the winning of a trophy. A woman's heart, a piece of land, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/men-will-gamble-and-plot-and-fight-and-fall-all-for-the-winning-of-a/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [A woman's heart is deeper than the ocean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/titanic/a-woman-s-heart-is-deeper-than-the-ocean/) [Titanic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/titanic/) ## More by Anthony Trollope > [“I have from the first felt sure that the writer, when he sits down to commence his novel, should do so, not because he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/i-have-from-the-first-felt-sure-that-the-writer-when-he-sits-down-to/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [Things to be done offer themselves, I suppose, because they are in themselves desirable; not because it is desirable to have something to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/things-to-be-done-offer-themselves-i-suppose-because-they-are-in/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/a-small-daily-task-if-it-be-really-daily-will-beat-the-labours-of-a/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [You men find so many angels in your travels. You have been honester than some. You have generally been off with the old angel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/you-men-find-so-many-angels-in-your-travels-you-have-been-honester/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [The man who worships mere wealth is a snob.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/the-man-who-worships-mere-wealth-is-a-snob/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [To feel that your hours are filled to overflowing, that you can barely steal minutes enough for sleep, that the welfare of many is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/to-feel-that-your-hours-are-filled-to-overflowing-that-you-can-barely/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [It is necessary to get a lot of men together, for the show of the thing, otherwise the world will not believe. That is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/it-is-necessary-to-get-a-lot-of-men-together-for-the-show-of-the/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [“An accepted lover, who deserves to have been accepted, should devote every hour at his command to his mistress.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/an-accepted-lover-who-deserves-to-have-been-accepted-should-devote/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [Wine is valued by its price, not its flavour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/wine-is-valued-by-its-price-not-its-flavour/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [“(On Charles Dickens) It has been the peculiarity and the marvel of this man’s power, that he has invested his puppets with a charm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/on-charles-dickens-it-has-been-the-peculiarity-and-the-marvel-of-this/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [There is no road to wealth so easy and respectable as that of matrimony.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/there-is-no-road-to-wealth-so-easy-and-respectable-as-that-of/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [I hold that gentleman to be the best-dressed whose dress no one observes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/i-hold-that-gentleman-to-be-the-best-dressed-whose-dress-no-one/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [But mad people never die. That's a well-known fact. They've nothing to trouble them, and they live for ever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/but-mad-people-never-die-that-s-a-well-known-fact-they-ve-nothing-to/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [Since woman's rights have come up a young woman is better able to fight her own battle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/since-woman-s-rights-have-come-up-a-young-woman-is-better-able-to/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [“The heroes of life are so much better than the heroes of romance,” said Caroline.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/the-heroes-of-life-are-so-much-better-than-the-heroes-of-romance-said/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) [Explore all 448 Anthony Trollope quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) ## More Another man quotes > [ Next came the Patent laws. These began in England in 1624; and, in this country, with the adoption of our constitution. Before then \[these?\],… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/next-came-the-patent-laws-these-began-in-england-in-1624-and-in-this/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [“I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-clarkson/i-took-ten-days-off-and-by-11-o-clock-on-the-first-morning-i-had/) [Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-clarkson/) > [One day I woke up and Juventus wanted me, another Manchester United and what I know is that there were approaches made. But an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raul-jimenez/one-day-i-woke-up-and-juventus-wanted-me-another-manchester-united/) [Raul Jimenez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raul-jimenez/) > [“He often remembered his dad's admonition that envy was mental theft. If you coveted another man's possessions, Dad said, then you should be willing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/he-often-remembered-his-dad-s-admonition-that-envy-was-mental-theft/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [Never break another man's rice bowl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akio-morita/never-break-another-man-s-rice-bowl/) [Akio Morita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/akio-morita/) > [“One theory on cannibals, of course, is that they eat parts of their slain enemies to benefit from that person's greatest assets - their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-powell/one-theory-on-cannibals-of-course-is-that-they-eat-parts-of-their/) [Julie Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-powell/) > [I admire machinery as much is any man, and am as thankful to it as any man can be for what it does for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/i-admire-machinery-as-much-is-any-man-and-am-as-thankful-to-it-as-any/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [“If you aren't in love, Willow Vaughn, then my name isn't Miriam Brigham." Willow started out of her daydreaming and glanced up from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-mcpherren/if-you-aren-t-in-love-willow-vaughn-then-my-name-isn-t-miriam-brigham/) [Charlotte McPherren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-mcpherren/) > [“One man accomplishment Is another mans failure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-sargent/one-man-accomplishment-is-another-mans-failure/) [Anthony Sargent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-sargent/) > [“Hell, I bet there's another man right now on the other side of this planet, standing in the pouring rain, fighting desperately for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/el-montes/hell-i-bet-there-s-another-man-right-now-on-the-other-side-of-this/) [EL Montes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/el-montes/) > [The perception of what we as professors provide has changed. Constant and demanding e-mails are just another manifestation of what our society has become.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-payne/the-perception-of-what-we-as-professors-provide-has-changed-constant/) [Dan Payne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-payne/) > [Fighting, to me, seems barbaric. I don't really like it. I enjoy out-thinking another man and out-maneuvering him, but I still don't like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sugar-ray-robinson/fighting-to-me-seems-barbaric-i-don-t-really-like-it-i-enjoy-out/) [Sugar Ray Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sugar-ray-robinson/) > [The single greatest pleasure that I have in doing ('Bizarre Foods') is when I meet families with 6, 7, 8-year-olds, or teenagers, who say,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-zimmern/the-single-greatest-pleasure-that-i-have-in-doing-bizarre-foods-is/) [Andrew Zimmern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-zimmern/) > [One man's vulgarity is another man's lyric.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-marshall-harlan-ii/one-man-s-vulgarity-is-another-man-s-lyric/) [John Marshall Harlan II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-marshall-harlan-ii/) > [“that of dealing death, of loosing another man’s soul and sending it down to hell. You want to savor it, to twist the blade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-pressfield/that-of-dealing-death-of-loosing-another-man-s-soul-and-sending-it/) [Steven Pressfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-pressfield/) [Browse all 1,112 Another man quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another-man/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart, he should abuse her.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Trollope" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man-s-heart-should-always-abuse/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Another man" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man-s-heart-should-always-abuse/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/anthony-trollope-611_another-man_a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man_2692377.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A man who desires to soften another man's heart, should always abuse himself. In softening a woman's heart…” — Anthony Trollope", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anthony Trollope", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“A man who desires to soften...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man-s-heart-should-always-abuse/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/a-man-who-desires-to-soften-another-man-s-heart-should-always-abuse/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```