--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I would never hit a woman - even if she…" description: "\"I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.\" — Anthony Jeselnik" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png" --- # I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a… ![“I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.” quote by Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png) > “I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.” [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The joke juxtaposes absurd moral absolutes with extreme scenarios to highlight dark humor and shock value. **In simple terms:** Even extreme threats don’t justify violence against women. Key Takeaway Recognize the line between humor and harmful stereotypes. Themes dark humor ethics gender Mood provocative controversial Type satirical dark comedy When to use this quote - stand-up performance - social commentary - taboo topics Key Concepts comedy shock value absurdity Questions to Reflect On - Is the humor effective without reinforcing misogyny? - Where is the ethical boundary in comedy? A Different Perspective May normalize harmful attitudes if taken literally. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/woman/) ## Related quotes > [It doesn't matter what she did. It's never okay to hit a woman, ever..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-doesn-t-matter-what-she-did-it-s-never-okay-to-hit-a-woman-ever/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The hit-woman opened the door. No dead body on the floor. Thank God. I heard an unearthly roar and then Jordan charged Liz from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kyoko-m/the-hit-woman-opened-the-door-no-dead-body-on-the-floor-thank-god-i/) [Kyoko M](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kyoko-m/) > [Two things: 1. Never hit a woman. 2. Ever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/two-things-1-never-hit-a-woman-2-ever/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-allen/a-gentleman-is-any-man-who-wouldn-t-hit-a-woman-with-his-hat-on/) [Fred Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-allen/) > [“Never hit a woman unless she’s trying to kill you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-child/never-hit-a-woman-unless-she-s-trying-to-kill-you/) [Lee Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-child/) > [There is NO reason to hit a woman!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-burr/there-is-no-reason-to-hit-a-woman/) [Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-burr/) > [REAL MAN DON'T HIT WOMAN...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unkmown/real-man-don-t-hit-woman/) [Unkmown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unkmown/) > [I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-ve-never-hit-a-woman-in-my-life-not-even-my-own-mother/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dov-davidoff/anyone-who-says-i-would-never-hit-a-woman-hasn-t-met-my-x-girlfriend/) [Dov Davidoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dov-davidoff/) > [There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-burr/there-is-no-reason-to-hit-a-woman-and-i-was-just-like-really-i-could/) [Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-burr/) > [Never hit a woman unless you are a bigger woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/never-hit-a-woman-unless-you-are-a-bigger-woman/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/i-d-never-hit-a-woman-unless-i-was-already-out-of-viagra/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [There's no excuse to hit a woman... Ever. Not even in a movie role, because you might really like it. And then what?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terrence-howard/there-s-no-excuse-to-hit-a-woman-ever-not-even-in-a-movie-role/) [Terrence Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terrence-howard/) > [Blood fills my mouth. Fire sears my veins. I choke back a howl. The silver knife slips--the choice is mine. I am death or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bree-despain/blood-fills-my-mouth-fire-sears-my-veins-i-choke-back-a-howl-the/) [Bree Despain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bree-despain/) > [What is that in his hand?" "A cleaver. As in-" "Butcher's knife." "You got it." "I hope not." "He does not look happy." "Are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ridley-pearson/what-is-that-in-his-hand-a-cleaver-as-in-butcher-s-knife-you-got-it-i/) [Ridley Pearson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ridley-pearson/) ## More by Anthony Jeselnik > [I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-want-people-to-just-be-paying-attention-even-if-they-re-not/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-a-twelve-year-old-sex-doll-brand-new/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/perhaps-i-m-being-too-optimistic-but-i-think-this-country-is-finally/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/father-s-day-makes-me-wish-i-could-talk-to-my-dad-just-one-more-time/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/about-a-year-after-i-moved-to-los-angeles-i-decided-i-wanted-to-be-a/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/when-i-was-little-i-would-burn-ants-with-a-magnifying-glass-but-now/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-fascinated-by-offensive-subject-matter-always-have-been-it-is/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-got-into-comedy-because-i-wanted-to-get-into-writing/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-actually-never-acted-on-deadwood-i-have-meetings-all-the-time-where/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I was a weird kid because I liked to be alone, but I craved attention. It was important for me to be cool, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-was-a-weird-kid-because-i-liked-to-be-alone-but-i-craved-attention/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-know-her-in-the-biblical-senseand-when-i-say-that-i-mean-i-don-t/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-love-pittsburgh-most-of-my-family-still-lives-there-and-i-try-to/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-think-brilliant-stuff-comes-out-of-working-with-limitations-one/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-love-anyone-who-surprises-me-and-makes-me-laugh/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Explore all 204 Anthony Jeselnik quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) ## More Ifs quotes > [Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monica-potter/women-still-when-they-have-breast-cancer-go-to-work-they-still-lead/) [Monica Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/monica-potter/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-schama/histories-never-conclude-they-just-pause-their-prose-their-stories/) [Simon Schama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-schama/) > [If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-helgoe/if-you-ask-an-introvert-a-question-wait-until-she-thinks-about-it/) [Laurie Helgoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-helgoe/) > [Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-neil-smith/many-individuals-spend-a-considerable-portion-of-their-lifetimes-in/) [L. Neil Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-neil-smith/) > [Obviously, if you don't love life, you can't enjoy an oyster.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-clark/obviously-if-you-don-t-love-life-you-can-t-enjoy-an-oyster/) [Eleanor Clark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-clark/) > [If I don't have pressure, I don't function.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ferran-adria/if-i-don-t-have-pressure-i-don-t-function/) [Ferran Adria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ferran-adria/) > [If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/if-you-restore-a-car-and-you-re-making-money-then-you-re-doing-it/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-understand-that-it-s-the-music-that-keeps-me-alive-that-s-my/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [If we gave up our freedom as the price of security, we would no longer be the great nation that we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-bader-ginsburg/if-we-gave-up-our-freedom-as-the-price-of-security-we-would-no-longer/) [Ruth Bader Ginsburg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-bader-ginsburg/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernbach/nothing-is-so-powerful-as-an-insight-into-human-nature-what/) [William Bernbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernbach/) > [But we are convinced that if we are to play a meaningful role nationally, and in the community of nations, we must be second…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-sarabhai/but-we-are-convinced-that-if-we-are-to-play-a-meaningful-role/) [Vikram Sarabhai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-sarabhai/) > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Reader, if you are gifted with nerves like mine, aspire to any character but that of a wit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-lamb/reader-if-you-are-gifted-with-nerves-like-mine-aspire-to-any/) [Charles Lamb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-lamb/) Browse all 94,303 Ifs quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-had-a-knife-or-a-stutter/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Ifs" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-had-a-knife-or-a-stutter/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ifs_i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-ha_714604.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anthony Jeselnik", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I would never hit a woman...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-had-a-knife-or-a-stutter/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-would-never-hit-a-woman-even-if-she-had-a-knife-or-a-stutter/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```