--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was neurotic for years. I was anxious…" description: "\"I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change. I resented them and I agreed with them, and I wa..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/993/anthony-de-mello-1331_alive_i-was-neurotic-for-years-i-was-anxious-a_2828326.jpg" --- # I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and… ![“I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change. I resented them and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Then one day someone said to me, Don't change. I love you just as you are. Those…” quote by Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/993/anthony-de-mello-1331_alive_i-was-neurotic-for-years-i-was-anxious-a_2828326.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/993/anthony-de-mello-1331_alive_i-was-neurotic-for-years-i-was-anxious-a_2828326.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/993/anthony-de-mello-1331_alive_i-was-neurotic-for-years-i-was-anxious-a_2828326.jpg) > “I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change. I resented them and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Then one day someone said to me, Don't change. I love you just as you are. Those words were music to my ears: Don't change, Don't change. Don't change . . . I love you as you are. I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!” [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑acceptance, not forced change, unlocks inner peace and authentic transformation. **In simple terms:** Accepting yourself as you are leads to real change. Key Takeaway Practice unconditional self‑love. Themes self‑acceptance mental health personal growth compassion transformation Mood hopeful inspirational Type spiritual self‑help When to use this quote - therapy sessions - personal journaling - support groups - mindfulness practice - coaching Key Concepts self‑compassion inner peace psychological resilience Questions to Reflect On - What does self‑acceptance look like for you? - How can you nurture inner love daily? A Different Perspective Change may be resisted if imposed externally. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Alive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/) [Anxious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxious/) [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Change Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change-love/) [Change Simply](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change-simply-322739/) [Changed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/changed/) [Don't change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/don-t-change/) [Ears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ears/) [Hard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard/) [Love you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-you/) [Matter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matter/) [Neurotic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neurotic/) [One day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/one-day/) [Relaxed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relaxed/) [Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/) [Selfish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfish/) [Wanted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted/) [Wanted Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted-change/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) ## Related quotes > [You don't change what you love or you never loved it to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lora-leigh/you-don-t-change-what-you-love-or-you-never-loved-it-to-begin-with/) [Lora Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lora-leigh/) > [I'm very sentimental and ambitious. I like to be relaxed and I like to live a peaceful existence, but that's very difficult considering I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monique-coleman/i-m-very-sentimental-and-ambitious-i-like-to-be-relaxed-and-i-like-to/) [Monique Coleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/monique-coleman/) > [After he has had his tantrum, the neurotic expects those around him to feel friendly and relaxed; after all, he does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/after-he-has-had-his-tantrum-the-neurotic-expects-those-around-him-to/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [To change Everything,simply change your Attitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-change-everything-simply-change-your-attitude/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I never change, I simply become more myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-never-change-i-simply-become-more-myself/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It has long been a bug bear of mine... it needs to change, very simply.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucinda-creighton/it-has-long-been-a-bug-bear-of-mine-it-needs-to-change-very-simply/) [Lucinda Creighton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucinda-creighton/) > [Some people never change & are simply stuck in their ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/some-people-never-change-are-simply-stuck-in-their-ways/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“one of the fastest ways to bring about change is paradoxically, to stop trying to change anything. But simply be aware of what you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-jelbert/one-of-the-fastest-ways-to-bring-about-change-is-paradoxically-to/) [Will Jelbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-jelbert/) > [Don't start any diet or regime if you can't make that an everlasting lifestyle change because it simply will not work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-wallace/don-t-start-any-diet-or-regime-if-you-can-t-make-that-an-everlasting/) [Gregg Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-wallace/) > [There is no fundamental social change by being simply of individual and interpersonal actions. You have to have organizations and institutions that make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cornel-west/there-is-no-fundamental-social-change-by-being-simply-of-individual/) [Cornel West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cornel-west/) > [Baby promise me you'll never change because, you are siMPly Amazing x](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-lloyd/baby-promise-me-you-ll-never-change-because-you-are-simply-amazing-x/) [Rob Lloyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-lloyd/) > [This is the first step toward understanding the process of real, lasting change: simply knowing with certainty that you can do whatever you need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bo-lozoff/this-is-the-first-step-toward-understanding-the-process-of-real/) [Bo Lozoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bo-lozoff/) > [Never opt for change simply to leave something you don't like. Change works best when you go toward something, even if it is the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-sinek/never-opt-for-change-simply-to-leave-something-you-don-t-like-change/) [Simon Sinek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-sinek/) > [With every little bit of change we make in our lives, we can maximize that small change simply by asking ourselves: 'What's next? What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yehuda-berg/with-every-little-bit-of-change-we-make-in-our-lives-we-can-maximize/) [Yehuda Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yehuda-berg/) > [Theres nothing like standing in a place and wanting nothing so much as to change but simply not being able to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-spacey/theres-nothing-like-standing-in-a-place-and-wanting-nothing-so-much/) [Kevin Spacey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-spacey/) ## More by Anthony de Mello > [The poor think they will be happy when they become rich. The rich think they will be happy when they are rid of their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/the-poor-think-they-will-be-happy-when-they-become-rich-the-rich/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [You only change what you understand. What you do not understand and are not aware of, you repress. You dont change. But when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/you-only-change-what-you-understand-what-you-do-not-understand-and/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [A zealous disciple expressed a desire to teach others the Truth and asked the Master what he thought about this. The Master said, "Wait."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/a-zealous-disciple-expressed-a-desire-to-teach-others-the-truth-and/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [As the Arabs say, "The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/as-the-arabs-say-the-nature-of-rain-is-the-same-but-it-makes-thorns/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [Sinners often speak the truth. And saints have led people astray. Examine what is said, not the one who says it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/sinners-often-speak-the-truth-and-saints-have-led-people-astray/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [Isn't there such a thing as social liberation?" "Of course there is," said the Master. "How would you describe it?" "Liberation from the need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/isn-t-there-such-a-thing-as-social-liberation-of-course-there-is-said/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [The important thing is not to know who "I" is or what "I" is. You'll never succeed. There are no words for it. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/the-important-thing-is-not-to-know-who-i-is-or-what-i-is-you-ll-never/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [And increasingly - you know this and so do I we're losing the youth everywhere. They hate us; they are not interested in having…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/and-increasingly-you-know-this-and-so-do-i-we-re-losing-the-youth/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [Spirituality practiced in the state of activity is incomparably superior to that practiced in a state of withdrawel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/spirituality-practiced-in-the-state-of-activity-is-incomparably/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [You know, all mystics - Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion - are unanimous on one thing:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/you-know-all-mystics-catholic-christian-non-christian-no-matter-what/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [There were rules in the monastery, but the Master always warned against the tyranny of the law. 'Obedience keeps the rules,' he would say.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/there-were-rules-in-the-monastery-but-the-master-always-warned/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [A disciple, in his reverence for the Master, looked upon him as God incarnate. "Tell me, O Master," he said, "why you have come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/a-disciple-in-his-reverence-for-the-master-looked-upon-him-as-god/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [“And how about you? Do you want to understand and play the game of life or fool around with miracles?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/and-how-about-you-do-you-want-to-understand-and-play-the-game-of-life/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [You don't have to add anything in order to be happy; you've got to drop something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/you-don-t-have-to-add-anything-in-order-to-be-happy-you-ve-got-to/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [Rare indeed, is the relationship in which the other is not cultivated for what one can get for oneself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/rare-indeed-is-the-relationship-in-which-the-other-is-not-cultivated/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) [Explore all 253 Anthony de Mello quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) ## More Alive quotes > [I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-understand-that-it-s-the-music-that-keeps-me-alive-that-s-my/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [I feel very grateful to be alive and well enough to make music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-ant/i-feel-very-grateful-to-be-alive-and-well-enough-to-make-music/) [Adam Ant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-ant/) > [I don't crave applause. I'm not one of those guys who comes alive on stage. I'm much more alive at home, I think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-bowie/i-don-t-crave-applause-i-m-not-one-of-those-guys-who-comes-alive-on/) [David Bowie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-bowie/) > [We must master our egoism, and through this mastery, step outside ourselves and educate ourselves in giving. Fasting requires that we rediscover all that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tariq-ramadan/we-must-master-our-egoism-and-through-this-mastery-step-outside/) [Tariq Ramadan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tariq-ramadan/) > [I can't say that there are 'things' that make me come alive. There are thoughts that make me come alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-williamson/i-can-t-say-that-there-are-things-that-make-me-come-alive-there-are/) [Marianne Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-williamson/) > [We're like the wicked witch. We promise gingerbread, then eat the little brats alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/we-re-like-the-wicked-witch-we-promise-gingerbread-then-eat-the/) [Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/) > [If Jovan Belcher didn't possess a gun, he and Kasandra Perkins would both be alive today.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-costas/if-jovan-belcher-didn-t-possess-a-gun-he-and-kasandra-perkins-would/) [Bob Costas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-costas/) > [Peace is an ongoing process. It begins with the first step and it does not end. We, all of us alive today, are the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-krieger/peace-is-an-ongoing-process-it-begins-with-the-first-step-and-it-does/) [David Krieger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-krieger/) > [I think adoption becomes complicated whenever the biological parents are alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-haven/i-think-adoption-becomes-complicated-whenever-the-biological-parents/) [James Haven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-haven/) > [The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-duffy/the-pain-of-love-is-the-pain-of-being-alive-it-is-a-perpetual-wound/) [Maureen Duffy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-duffy/) > [I have tried to resign myself, and to console myself; and that, I hope, I may have done imperfectly; but what I cannot firmly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/i-have-tried-to-resign-myself-and-to-console-myself-and-that-i-hope-i/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [If Melanchthon were alive today, he might not weep because of controversies that surround the Lord's Supper, but he might well sorrow because of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erwin-w-lutzer/if-melanchthon-were-alive-today-he-might-not-weep-because-of/) [Erwin W. Lutzer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erwin-w-lutzer/) > [If you’re alive, don’t move, if you’re dead, don’t worry about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/if-you-re-alive-don-t-move-if-you-re-dead-don-t-worry-about-it/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [Here Greek and Roman find themselves alive along these crowded shelves; and Shakespeare treads again his stage, and Chaucer paints anew his age.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-greenleaf-whittier/here-greek-and-roman-find-themselves-alive-along-these-crowded/) [John Greenleaf Whittier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-greenleaf-whittier/) > [You're alive!" Fezzik cried. The man in black sat immobile, like a ventriloquist's dummy, just his mouth moving. "That is perhaps the most childishly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/you-re-alive-fezzik-cried-the-man-in-black-sat-immobile-like-a/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) [Browse all 7,282 Alive quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alive/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change. I resented them and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Then one day someone said to me, Don't change. I love you just as you are. Those words were music to my ears: Don't change, Don't change. Don't change . . . I love you as you are. I relaxed. I came alive. 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