--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's a false premise to say that most…" description: "\"“It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg" --- # It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people… ![“It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's what's familiar. That's the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they're just continuing the pattern. Until this traditionalist mindset…” quote by Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg) > ““It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's what's familiar. That's the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they're just continuing the pattern. Until this traditionalist mindset is shaken loose, you would likely try from reflex to impose notions onto nonmonogamy that are not only untenable in the new context but spel sudden and messy doom even in situations that otherwise could be worked out.”” [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Many people adopt monogamy because it is familiar, not because they truly choose it; this cultural inertia hinders acceptance of non‑monogamy. **In simple terms:** People often follow familiar relationship patterns, limiting new possibilities. Key Takeaway Question cultural assumptions about relationship norms. Themes relationships culture choice norms non‑monogamy Mood reflective critical thoughtful Type philosophical analytical When to use this quote - dating - counseling - education - community building Key Concepts social conditioning identity habit framework Questions to Reflect On - How does familiarity shape your relationship choices? - What steps can help loosen traditional mindsets? A Different Perspective Changing deep‑seated cultural habits takes time and effort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Monogamous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monogamous/) [Monogamy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monogamy/) [Polyamory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/polyamory/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [“Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/security-comes-first-from-inside-of-you-then-if-you-are-very-lucky/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“In a sane world, a term like "chronic crisis" would be instantly seen by anone as an oxymoron. Nevertheless, that's the state that many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/in-a-sane-world-a-term-like-chronic-crisis-would-be-instantly-seen-by/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Polyamory is differentiable from some other forms of nonmonogamy (including adultery) in that it is future-oriented. Poly relationships are not located solely in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/polyamory-is-differentiable-from-some-other-forms-of-nonmonogamy/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Polyamorous people are wary of having others' values inflicted upon themselves, and so tend to stay very far away from making such pronouncements, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/polyamorous-people-are-wary-of-having-others-values-inflicted-upon/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It's an alarm, nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/when-jealousy-rears-up-it-indicates-that-something-inside-of-you-is/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“A real relationship doesn't properly begin until the NRE burns away. That's when you have to start dealing with this person as an all-around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/a-real-relationship-doesn-t-properly-begin-until-the-nre-burns-away/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“When you begin with the premise "I treat everyone equally," you have already blinkered yourself from seeing where you don't, or can't, or shouldn't.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/when-you-begin-with-the-premise-i-treat-everyone-equally-you-have/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“(In reference to swingers) In the meantime, if you wish to declare yourself polyamorous, get used to the fact that the confusion is gong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/in-reference-to-swingers-in-the-meantime-if-you-wish-to-declare/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“So, a little advice. Relax. You're not filling a job position. You're looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend... who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/so-a-little-advice-relax-you-re-not-filling-a-job-position-you-re/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees –…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-bronte/my-love-for-linton-is-like-the-foliage-in-the-woods-time-will-change/) [Emily Brontë](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-bronte/) > [I'm a firm supporter of the word polyamory. But that one is close to my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/i-m-a-firm-supporter-of-the-word-polyamory-but-that-one-is-close-to/) [Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/) > [“You'll need courage because polyamorous relationships can be scary. Loving other people without a script is scary. Allowing the people you love to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franklin-veaux/you-ll-need-courage-because-polyamorous-relationships-can-be-scary/) [Franklin Veaux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franklin-veaux/) > [“We are raised to believe (on the surface, at least) that us humans only have so much love to give, and that it comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-ravenscroft/we-are-raised-to-believe-on-the-surface-at-least-that-us-humans-only/) Anthony Ravenscroft > [“..., and sometimes there's just no point in arguing with him. "Yeah, okay 'me, Jeff, and Evan, sitting in a tree...'" Chris claps his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-sherwood/and-sometimes-there-s-just-no-point-in-arguing-with-him-yeah-okay-me/) [Kate Sherwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-sherwood/) > [“I lay there in the bath not thinking, not doing anything. After a few seconds, I heard her open the front door, and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-rooney/i-lay-there-in-the-bath-not-thinking-not-doing-anything-after-a-few/) [Sally Rooney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-rooney/) ## More by Anthony D. Ravenscroft > [“So, a little advice. Relax. You're not filling a job position. You're looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend... who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/so-a-little-advice-relax-you-re-not-filling-a-job-position-you-re/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Relationships tend to be flawed because they are made up of inherently flawed components, mere human beings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/relationships-tend-to-be-flawed-because-they-are-made-up-of/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“(In reference to swingers) In the meantime, if you wish to declare yourself polyamorous, get used to the fact that the confusion is gong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/in-reference-to-swingers-in-the-meantime-if-you-wish-to-declare/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“When you begin with the premise "I treat everyone equally," you have already blinkered yourself from seeing where you don't, or can't, or shouldn't.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/when-you-begin-with-the-premise-i-treat-everyone-equally-you-have/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“A real relationship doesn't properly begin until the NRE burns away. That's when you have to start dealing with this person as an all-around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/a-real-relationship-doesn-t-properly-begin-until-the-nre-burns-away/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It's an alarm, nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/when-jealousy-rears-up-it-indicates-that-something-inside-of-you-is/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Polyamorous people are wary of having others' values inflicted upon themselves, and so tend to stay very far away from making such pronouncements, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/polyamorous-people-are-wary-of-having-others-values-inflicted-upon/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Polyamory is differentiable from some other forms of nonmonogamy (including adultery) in that it is future-oriented. Poly relationships are not located solely in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/polyamory-is-differentiable-from-some-other-forms-of-nonmonogamy/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“In a sane world, a term like "chronic crisis" would be instantly seen by anone as an oxymoron. Nevertheless, that's the state that many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/in-a-sane-world-a-term-like-chronic-crisis-would-be-instantly-seen-by/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“In a culture of diversity, one group is likely not "just like everyone else." To deny that we have different needs, concerns, thought processes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/in-a-culture-of-diversity-one-group-is-likely-not-just-like-everyone/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/security-comes-first-from-inside-of-you-then-if-you-are-very-lucky/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) > [“...we are taught to put fun and serious pursuits on a continuum as opposed extremes, when this dichotomy is entirely false, made even worse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/we-are-taught-to-put-fun-and-serious-pursuits-on-a-continuum-as/) [Anthony D. Ravenscroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) [Explore all 13 Anthony D. Ravenscroft quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/) ## More Monogamous quotes > [“In The Moral Animal, Robert Wright laments, "A basic underlying dynamic between men and women is mutual exploitation. They seem, at times, designed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cacilda-jeth/in-the-moral-animal-robert-wright-laments-a-basic-underlying-dynamic/) [Cacilda Jethá](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cacilda-jeth/) > [“Marriage," "mating," and "love" are socially constructed phenomena that have little or no transferable meaning outside any given culture. The examples we've noted of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-ryan/marriage-mating-and-love-are-socially-constructed-phenomena-that-have/) [Christopher Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-ryan/) > [My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don't want to put myself in the position where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindsay-lohan/my-mom-is-going-to-kill-me-for-talking-about-sleeping-with-people-but/) [Lindsay Lohan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindsay-lohan/) > [I've never been monogamous. It might happen, but it never has yet. I don't understand women, I'm off that kick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-kartheiser/i-ve-never-been-monogamous-it-might-happen-but-it-never-has-yet-i-don/) [Vincent Kartheiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-kartheiser/) > [Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-dobson/homosexuals-are-not-monogamous-they-want-to-destroy-the-institution/) [James Dobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-dobson/) > [Do I think human beings are meant to be in 40-year-long monogamous, faithful, relationships? No, No, No. Whoever said they were? Only the Bible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-grant/do-i-think-human-beings-are-meant-to-be-in-40-year-long-monogamous/) [Hugh Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-grant/) > [I'm monogamous from time to time, but I prefer polygamy and polyandry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-bruni/i-m-monogamous-from-time-to-time-but-i-prefer-polygamy-and-polyandry/) [Carla Bruni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carla-bruni/) > [“Was he a bad man or just a foolish one? He didn't feel bad to himself. As a husband he believed himself to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/was-he-a-bad-man-or-just-a-foolish-one-he-didn-t-feel-bad-to-himself/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [The highest level of sexual excitement is in a monogamous relationship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-beatty/the-highest-level-of-sexual-excitement-is-in-a-monogamous-relationship/) [Warren Beatty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-beatty/) > [“A DOZEN PHALLACIES WOMEN BUY Phallacy 1. If he loves me, he'll be faithful forever. Truth His loving you has nothing to do with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/a-dozen-phallacies-women-buy-phallacy-1-if-he-loves-me-he-ll-be/) [Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/) > [When I was in my early twenties, I fell in love at least 20 times a day. You have to be with someone where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-van-booy/when-i-was-in-my-early-twenties-i-fell-in-love-at-least-20-times-a/) [Simon Van Booy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-van-booy/) > [The mistake that straight people made was imposing the monogamous expectation on men. Men were never expected to be monogamous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/the-mistake-that-straight-people-made-was-imposing-the-monogamous/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [People should be allowed the freedom to make their own choices. They should be able to buy or not buy porn and be monogamous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chester-brown/people-should-be-allowed-the-freedom-to-make-their-own-choices-they/) [Chester Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chester-brown/) > [I do think on some basic level we are animals and by instinct we kind of breed accordingly. But, as much as I believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scarlett-johansson/i-do-think-on-some-basic-level-we-are-animals-and-by-instinct-we-kind/) [Scarlett Johansson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scarlett-johansson/) > [You know, I feel like people in this country who feel really strongly about a man and a woman being the only -- the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-jessica-parker/you-know-i-feel-like-people-in-this-country-who-feel-really-strongly/) [Sarah Jessica Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-jessica-parker/) [Browse all 115 Monogamous quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monogamous/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the religion they were raised in...because that's what's familiar. That's the milieu they grew up in, and, for better or worse, they're just continuing the pattern. Until this traditionalist mindset is shaken loose, you would likely try from reflex to impose notions onto nonmonogamy that are not only untenable in the new context but spel sudden and messy doom even in situations that otherwise could be worked out.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony D. Ravenscroft" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-monogamous-people-have-chosen/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Monogamous" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-monogamous-people-have-chosen/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/anthony-d-ravenscroft-35868_polyamory_it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-mo_961990.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's a false premise to say that most monogamous people have chosen monogamy. Most people belong to the…” — Anthony D. Ravenscroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anthony D. Ravenscroft", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-d-ravenscroft/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It's a false premise to say...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-monogamous-people-have-chosen/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-d-ravenscroft/it-s-a-false-premise-to-say-that-most-monogamous-people-have-chosen/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```