---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Because loners are born everywhere, we…"
description: "\"“Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living everywhere. We do not, have not, tended to single ourselves out as special, elite, requiring rare..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg"
---

#  Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living…

![“Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living everywhere. We do not, have not, tended to single ourselves out as special, elite, requiring rarefied environments. Too often we have done the opposite; lived where we lived because our jobs were there, or families, or because we'd heard the…” quote by Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg)

> ““Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living everywhere. We do not, have not, tended to single ourselves out as special, elite, requiring rarefied environments. Too often we have done the opposite; lived where we lived because our jobs were there, or families, or because we'd heard the schools were good there, or that we would love a place with changing seasons. Then, no matter what, we put our noses to the grindstone. We take living there as a fait accompli, a fact. Too often we are miserable somewhere without realizing why. We blame ourselves for not buckling down, settling in, fitting in. The problem is the place, but too often we do not see this, we will not allow ourselves to see this. It's the same old thing: This is a friendly town, so what's your problem? ...To the non-loner, or the self-reproaching loner, the fact of being a loner is not comparable to those other determinants. It is not a matter of life and death, we tell ourselves. It its not a matter of breathing or of execution by stoning. But home is the crucible of living...So how can living not be a matter of life and death?””

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

People often settle in locations for external reasons, ignoring personal fit, which can cause chronic dissatisfaction.

**In simple terms:** Choosing a place without self‑knowledge leads to unhappiness.

Key Takeaway

Align living environment with personal values.

Themes

identity place loneliness choice well‑being

Mood

thoughtful introspective

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- career moves
- family relocations
- college towns
- retirement communities
- urban vs rural decisions

Key Concepts

Self‑actualization environmental psychology social expectations

Questions to Reflect On

- What truly matters to you in a home?
- How can you assess fit before moving?

A Different Perspective

Economic constraints may force suboptimal choices.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Changing Seasons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/changing-seasons/) [Environment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/environment/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Introversion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/introversion/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life and death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-and-death/) [Loner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loner/) [Loner Fact](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loner-fact-2241190/) [Loner Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loner-self-2241189/) [Loners Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loners-born-2241191/) [Matter Of Life And Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matter-of-life-and-death/) [Non Loner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/non-loner-2241192/)

## Related quotes

> [“It may seem odd to contemporary readers to think of the natural year as a metaphor by which we live. As individuals, we have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-beston/it-may-seem-odd-to-contemporary-readers-to-think-of-the-natural-year/)

[Henry Beston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-beston/)

> [“The fount of joy was bubbling in thine eyes, Dancing was in thy feet, And on thy lips a laugh that never dies, Unutterably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vita-sackville-west/the-fount-of-joy-was-bubbling-in-thine-eyes-dancing-was-in-thy-feet/)

[Vita Sackville-West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vita-sackville-west/)

> [“The world doesn't keep spinning and changing seasons for us to remain DORMANT. The world continues to change because we continues to change because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/netiera-danise/the-world-doesn-t-keep-spinning-and-changing-seasons-for-us-to-remain/)

[Netiera Danise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/netiera-danise/)

> [Climate impacts hit working people first, and with extreme weather events, changing seasons, and rising sea levels, whole communities stand on the front lines.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharan-burrow/climate-impacts-hit-working-people-first-and-with-extreme-weather/)

[Sharan Burrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharan-burrow/)

> [I long for my garden to be complete. Working in it is one of my joys, but it will never be finished because it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-quant/i-long-for-my-garden-to-be-complete-working-in-it-is-one-of-my-joys/)

[Mary Quant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-quant/)

> [I really missed the East Coast. I love living in Hawaii, but I miss the changing of seasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-dae-kim/i-really-missed-the-east-coast-i-love-living-in-hawaii-but-i-miss-the/)

[Daniel Dae Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-dae-kim/)

> [“Wherever you may go; Life is a beautiful thing. Life is like a passing season. It comes and go. Whatever may come, it's better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/happy-positivity/wherever-you-may-go-life-is-a-beautiful-thing-life-is-like-a-passing/)

[Happy Positivity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/happy-positivity/)

> [“Each generation stamps itself onto the next one. The impression is indelible. Like the flowers in my mother's gardens that come and go with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lurlene-mcdaniel/each-generation-stamps-itself-onto-the-next-one-the-impression-is/)

[Lurlene McDaniel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lurlene-mcdaniel/)

> [“There was much work to be done in the crone's cottage, but the Princess was never heard to complain, for she was a true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-morton/there-was-much-work-to-be-done-in-the-crone-s-cottage-but-the/)

[Kate Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-morton/)

> [I can't conceive of cooking in a sunny place like Florida because my motivation comes from the changing seasons. That's why I decided to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-boulud/i-can-t-conceive-of-cooking-in-a-sunny-place-like-florida-because-my/)

[Daniel Boulud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-boulud/)

> [“Why is hesed love so important? Because life is moody. Feelings come and go. Pressures rise and fall. Passions ebb and flow. Hesed is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-e-miller/why-is-hesed-love-so-important-because-life-is-moody-feelings-come/)

[Paul E. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-e-miller/)

> [I am an African. I owe my being to the hills and the valleys, the mountains and the glades, the rivers, the deserts, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thabo-mbeki/i-am-an-african-i-owe-my-being-to-the-hills-and-the-valleys-the/)

[Thabo Mbeki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thabo-mbeki/)

> [For me it was sort of career suicide to work in color, but I did it because I perceived myself from an early stage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-sternfeld/for-me-it-was-sort-of-career-suicide-to-work-in-color-but-i-did-it/)

[Joel Sternfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-sternfeld/)

> [I wonder how it is that people's philosophies have come to spin faster than the changing seasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/masanobu-fukuoka/i-wonder-how-it-is-that-people-s-philosophies-have-come-to-spin/)

[Masanobu Fukuoka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/masanobu-fukuoka/)

> [It was the best place to be, thought Wilbur, this warm delicious cellar, with the garrulous geese, the changing seasons, the heat of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-b-white/it-was-the-best-place-to-be-thought-wilbur-this-warm-delicious-cellar/)

[E. B. White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-b-white/)

## More by Anneli Rufus

> [The whole world is a personality cult.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/the-whole-world-is-a-personality-cult/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [And as experienced as I am, it still summons an act of bravery from me, and I like that. I like the idea of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/and-as-experienced-as-i-am-it-still-summons-an-act-of-bravery-from-me/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [Loners live among the mob, so the mob mistakes us for its own, presuming and assuming. When the mob gets too close, the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/loners-live-among-the-mob-so-the-mob-mistakes-us-for-its-own/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [“Just as soon as children develop awareness, it is essential to demonstrate to them by word and deed that they must submit,” advised Swiss…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/just-as-soon-as-children-develop-awareness-it-is-essential-to/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [The loner who looks fabulous is one of the most vulnerable loners of all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/the-loner-who-looks-fabulous-is-one-of-the-most-vulnerable-loners-of/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [“We believe that whatever feels at first like joy is not. Or is, but will not last. Or should not last. We feel so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/we-believe-that-whatever-feels-at-first-like-joy-is-not-or-is-but/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [Writing is done alone. People do not talk about the things they do alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/writing-is-done-alone-people-do-not-talk-about-the-things-they-do/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [“To this day, I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have an eating disorder; not in that I am anorexic or bulimic—I’m…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/to-this-day-i-have-a-very-unhealthy-relationship-with-food-i-have-an/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [We do not require company. In varying degrees, it bores us, drains us, makes our eyes glaze over. Overcomes us like a steamroller. Of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/we-do-not-require-company-in-varying-degrees-it-bores-us-drains-us/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/socializing-is-as-exhausting-as-giving-blood-people-assume-we-loners/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [After what others would call a fun day out together, we feel as if we have been at the Red Cross, donating blood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/after-what-others-would-call-a-fun-day-out-together-we-feel-as-if-we/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [We believe that whatever feels at first like joy is not. Or is, but will not last. Or should not last. We feel so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/we-believe-that-whatever-feels-at-first-like-joy-is-not-or-is-but-2/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [Not that I was incapable of friendship. 'Don't be shy', the teachers coaxed. I was not shy, only extremely choosy. And Denise shone like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/not-that-i-was-incapable-of-friendship-don-t-be-shy-the-teachers/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [“written works do not produce fast reactions as pictures and sculptures and music do. it takes no effort to see or hear. but to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/written-works-do-not-produce-fast-reactions-as-pictures-and/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

> [“As businessman Hank Rearden philosophizes in Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged: “People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/as-businessman-hank-rearden-philosophizes-in-ayn-rand-s-novel-atlas/)

[Anneli Rufus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

[Explore all 21 Anneli Rufus quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/)

## More Environment quotes

> [I feel like the future is unwritten. So many of the things that we write now haven't been about educating people on the environment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-flansburgh/i-feel-like-the-future-is-unwritten-so-many-of-the-things-that-we/)

[John Flansburgh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-flansburgh/)

> [This welfare for wealthy companies wastes taxpayer dollars, harms the environment, and makes a mockery of the recent reductions in federal social spending programs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-nader/this-welfare-for-wealthy-companies-wastes-taxpayer-dollars-harms-the/)

[Ralph Nader](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-nader/)

> [We must master our egoism, and through this mastery, step outside ourselves and educate ourselves in giving. Fasting requires that we rediscover all that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tariq-ramadan/we-must-master-our-egoism-and-through-this-mastery-step-outside/)

[Tariq Ramadan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tariq-ramadan/)

> [Plainly, the environment must be a living one, directed by a higher intelligence, arranged by an adult who is prepared for his mission.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/plainly-the-environment-must-be-a-living-one-directed-by-a-higher/)

[Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/)

> [In the current climate, things that are true, brave human stories become political.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cate-blanchett/in-the-current-climate-things-that-are-true-brave-human-stories/)

[Cate Blanchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cate-blanchett/)

> [They paved paradise and put up a parkin lot With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot Don't it always seem…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joni-mitchell/they-paved-paradise-and-put-up-a-parkin-lot-with-a-pink-hotel-a/)

[Joni Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joni-mitchell/)

> [Life as we know it is fundamentally unsatisfying. I think most folks feel this to be true. They know that a life of aimless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-yates/life-as-we-know-it-is-fundamentally-unsatisfying-i-think-most-folks/)

[Michael Yates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-yates/)

> [To assist a child we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/to-assist-a-child-we-must-provide-him-with-an-environment-which-will/)

[Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/)

> [Daily life is both the subject and environment of the work I am making.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-henrot/daily-life-is-both-the-subject-and-environment-of-the-work-i-am-making/)

[Camille Henrot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-henrot/)

> [If, as I anticipate, a wide array of personal, portable information/communication devices becomes increasingly important and widespread for information-intensive users, it will be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-peters/if-as-i-anticipate-a-wide-array-of-personal-portable-information/)

[Tom Peters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-peters/)

> [Create an environment for people to fail, to learn, and to grow. Their creativity and productivity will increase.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/create-an-environment-for-people-to-fail-to-learn-and-to-grow-their/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [There are many more traits that the climate deniers share with the creationists and Holocaust deniers and others who distort the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-r-prothero/there-are-many-more-traits-that-the-climate-deniers-share-with-the/)

[Donald R. Prothero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-r-prothero/)

> [Assuming normal winter weather, we currently anticipate the coal markets to remain difficult through 2015; while we always strive to operate a full capacity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-craft/assuming-normal-winter-weather-we-currently-anticipate-the-coal/)

[Joe Craft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-craft/)

> [It's the same with this idea of a literate public, and also of a democracy in which people have access to and really read…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-hass/it-s-the-same-with-this-idea-of-a-literate-public-and-also-of-a/)

[Robert Hass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-hass/)

> [Of course, learning is strengthened and solidified when it occurs in a safe, secure and normal environment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-bertrand-aristide/of-course-learning-is-strengthened-and-solidified-when-it-occurs-in-a/)

[Jean-Bertrand Aristide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-bertrand-aristide/)

[Browse all 8,669 Environment quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/environment/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living everywhere. We do not, have not, tended to single ourselves out as special, elite, requiring rarefied environments. Too often we have done the opposite; lived where we lived because our jobs were there, or families, or because we'd heard the schools were good there, or that we would love a place with changing seasons. Then, no matter what, we put our noses to the grindstone. We take living there as a fait accompli, a fact. Too often we are miserable somewhere without realizing why. We blame ourselves for not buckling down, settling in, fitting in. The problem is the place, but too often we do not see this, we will not allow ourselves to see this. It's the same old thing: This is a friendly town, so what's your problem? ...To the non-loner, or the self-reproaching loner, the fact of being a loner is not comparable to those other determinants. It is not a matter of life and death, we tell ourselves. It its not a matter of breathing or of execution by stoning. But home is the crucible of living...So how can living not be a matter of life and death?”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Anneli Rufus"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-end-up-living-everywhere-we-do/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Environment"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-end-up-living-everywhere-we-do/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/anneli-rufus-26499_environment_because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-en_218918.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Because loners are born everywhere, we end up living everywhere. We do not, have not, tended to single…” — Anneli Rufus",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Anneli Rufus",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anneli-rufus/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Because loners are born everywhere, we...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-end-up-living-everywhere-we-do/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anneli-rufus/because-loners-are-born-everywhere-we-end-up-living-everywhere-we-do/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
