--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five…" description: "\"“Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot?”\" — Ann..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c2/anne-rice-238_vampires_goddamn-it-do-it-yourself-you-re-five-hu_1645732.jpg" --- # Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old… ![“Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot?” quote by Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c2/anne-rice-238_vampires_goddamn-it-do-it-yourself-you-re-five-hu_1645732.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c2/anne-rice-238_vampires_goddamn-it-do-it-yourself-you-re-five-hu_1645732.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3c2/anne-rice-238_vampires_goddamn-it-do-it-yourself-you-re-five-hu_1645732.jpg) > ““Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot?”” [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker mocks someone’s inability to adapt despite long experience, urging them to read instructions. **In simple terms:** Even the old must learn basics. Key Takeaway Read instructions, adapt. Themes age technology adaptation frustration learning Mood humorous critical Type satirical motivational When to use this quote - workplace training - elder care - tech support - self‑improvement Key Concepts Generational gap digital literacy humor Questions to Reflect On - How can we make tech more accessible? - What motivates learning at any age? A Different Perspective Older individuals may face learning barriers; patience is needed. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Idiot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/idiot/) [Vampires](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vampires/) ## Related quotes > [Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-carroll/read-the-directions-and-directly-you-will-be-directed-in-the-right-2/) [Lewis Carroll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-carroll/) > [You should have read the directions before you showed up to the party.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-sheen/you-should-have-read-the-directions-before-you-showed-up-to-the-party/) [Charlie Sheen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-sheen/) > [Most of us would rather risk catastrophe than read the directions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/most-of-us-would-rather-risk-catastrophe-than-read-the-directions/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [“Can't you just read the directions?” “I could if I wasn't fueled by testosterone and stupidity, but where's the fun in that?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-kirkman/can-t-you-just-read-the-directions-i-could-if-i-wasn-t-fueled-by/) [Robert Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-kirkman/) > [Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction. -Doorknob](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-in-wonderland/read-the-directions-and-directly-you-will-be-directed-in-the-right/) [Alice In Wonderland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-in-wonderland/) > [If you want to communicate, use the telephone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-hugo/if-you-want-to-communicate-use-the-telephone/) [Richard Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-hugo/) > [“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bjarne-stroustrup/i-have-always-wished-for-my-computer-to-be-as-easy-to-use-as-my/) [Bjarne Stroustrup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bjarne-stroustrup/) > [“Do you know what is our problem? We know everything about our weapons, but we know nothing about how to use a telephone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asne-seierstad/do-you-know-what-is-our-problem-we-know-everything-about-our-weapons/) [Asne Seierstad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asne-seierstad/) > [In heaven, when the blessed use the telephone they will say what they have to say and not a word besides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-somerset-maugham/in-heaven-when-the-blessed-use-the-telephone-they-will-say-what-they/) [W. Somerset Maugham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-somerset-maugham/) > [\*\*\*Wanted: Boyfriend. Qualifications: Must know how to use the telephone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vicky-carlsson/wanted-boyfriend-qualifications-must-know-how-to-use-the-telephone/) Vicky Carlsson > [There's an old story about the person who wished his computer was as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bjarne-stroustrup/there-s-an-old-story-about-the-person-who-wished-his-computer-was-as/) [Bjarne Stroustrup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bjarne-stroustrup/) > [Assuming you can write clear English sentences, give up all worry about communication. If you want to communicate, use the telephone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-hugo/assuming-you-can-write-clear-english-sentences-give-up-all-worry/) [Richard Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-hugo/) > [Not being allowed to use the Internet is kind of like not being allowed to use a telephone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mitnick/not-being-allowed-to-use-the-internet-is-kind-of-like-not-being/) [Kevin Mitnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mitnick/) > [I rarely use the telephone because he may not want to see me. I have a better chance of seeing the man I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-feldman/i-rarely-use-the-telephone-because-he-may-not-want-to-see-me-i-have-a/) [Ben Feldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-feldman/) > [You know, it's not a given that there is an 'online' and 'offline' world out there. When you use the telephone, you don't say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evgeny-morozov/you-know-it-s-not-a-given-that-there-is-an-online-and-offline-world/) [Evgeny Morozov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evgeny-morozov/) ## More by Anne Rice > [But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/but-just-remember-life-without-me-would-be-even-more-unbearable/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“There had never been any talent, any talent to draw or paint or to make music or to write or to make any of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/there-had-never-been-any-talent-any-talent-to-draw-or-paint-or-to/) [anne rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“there are only two things which I believe—the first is that no mortal can refuse the Dark Gift once he really knows what it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/there-are-only-two-things-which-i-believe-the-first-is-that-no-mortal/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“Lie quiet and you will lapse back into peace again. Be like the god Heimdall before the battle call, so still that you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/lie-quiet-and-you-will-lapse-back-into-peace-again-be-like-the-god/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [All the stories I have told you are finally as useless as all ancient knowledge is to man and to us. Its images and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/all-the-stories-i-have-told-you-are-finally-as-useless-as-all-ancient/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [If you want to be a writer, write. Write and write and write. If you stop, start again. Save everything that you write. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/if-you-want-to-be-a-writer-write-write-and-write-and-write-if-you/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [How can so much beauty hide such a bruised and steely heart, and why must I love him, why must I lean in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/how-can-so-much-beauty-hide-such-a-bruised-and-steely-heart-and-why/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“you do get wiser when you live for hundreds of years; but you also have more time to turn out as badly as your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/you-do-get-wiser-when-you-live-for-hundreds-of-years-but-you-also/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [I never lie," I said offhand. "At least not to those I don't love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/i-never-lie-i-said-offhand-at-least-not-to-those-i-don-t-love/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“I don't need to sleep to play. I'm crazy anyway. Being crazier still could only help.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/i-don-t-need-to-sleep-to-play-i-m-crazy-anyway-being-crazier-still/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“what I felt was inexpressible gratitude for the music, that in this horror there could be something as beautiful as that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/what-i-felt-was-inexpressible-gratitude-for-the-music-that-in-this/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [I stumble through a carnival of horrors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/i-stumble-through-a-carnival-of-horrors/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [“Look up at heaven and hell in the sky, for the stars are balls of fire suspended there by the angels.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/look-up-at-heaven-and-hell-in-the-sky-for-the-stars-are-balls-of-fire/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [I do not allow fan-fiction. The characters are copyrighted. It upsets me terribly to even think about fan-fiction with my characters. I advise my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/i-do-not-allow-fan-fiction-the-characters-are-copyrighted-it-upsets/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) > [Truth is a risky proposition. It's the nature of mediocre human beings to believe that lies are necessary, that they serve a purpose, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/truth-is-a-risky-proposition-it-s-the-nature-of-mediocre-human-beings/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) [Explore all 826 Anne Rice quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) ## More Idiot quotes > [The truth is I've just never had any kind of plan at all for my career, which is probably not a very flattering thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ty-burrell/the-truth-is-i-ve-just-never-had-any-kind-of-plan-at-all-for-my/) [Ty Burrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ty-burrell/) > [Thirty guys equals five percent die-off among active wingsuit base jumpers. That means there's a flaw in our system and you're an idiot if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-potter/thirty-guys-equals-five-percent-die-off-among-active-wingsuit-base/) [Dean Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-potter/) > [You have to be an idiot to run out of gas…I just did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brooke-burke/you-have-to-be-an-idiot-to-run-out-of-gas-i-just-did/) [Brooke Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brooke-burke/) > [Mechanical instruments, potentially a vehicle of rational human purposes, are scarcely a blessing when they enable the gossip of the village idiot and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-mumford/mechanical-instruments-potentially-a-vehicle-of-rational-human/) [Lewis Mumford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-mumford/) > [I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-need-to-look-like-an-idiot-at-least-twice-a-day-to-keep-myself/) [Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/) > [“But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-weir/but-no-idiot-proofing-can-overcome-a-determined-idiot/) [Andy Weir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-weir/) > [One or two years ago, I didn't know who I was on court and I used to swear a lot. But now I've learned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-federer/one-or-two-years-ago-i-didn-t-know-who-i-was-on-court-and-i-used-to/) [Roger Federer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-federer/) > [“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it. He came for me . Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-came-for-me-i-couldn-t-believe-it-he-came-for-me-into-a-flying/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [Why does man behave like perfect idiot? This is the problem I wish to deal with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-szent-gyorgyi/why-does-man-behave-like-perfect-idiot-this-is-the-problem-i-wish-to/) [Albert Szent-Gyorgyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-szent-gyorgyi/) > [Without sounding like a right idiot, my mum and my dad are my role models. They devoted everything to my sister and me -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-willoughby/without-sounding-like-a-right-idiot-my-mum-and-my-dad-are-my-role/) [Holly Willoughby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-willoughby/) > [“The woman may be a biomedical engineer, but I begin to think that she is a certifiable idiot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-khoury/the-woman-may-be-a-biomedical-engineer-but-i-begin-to-think-that-she/) [Jessica Khoury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-khoury/) > [“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than lose you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-to-spongebob/knowledge-cannot-replace-friendship-i-d-rather-be-an-idiot-than-lose/) Patrick to Spongebob > [Solemnity is the shield of idiots](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/solemnity-is-the-shield-of-idiots/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I’ve noticed that you are retarded, Dr. Phil.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christy-leigh-stewart/i-ve-noticed-that-you-are-retarded-dr-phil/) [Christy Leigh Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christy-leigh-stewart/) > [“You heard what she said, idiot. She’s not dating, especially not a man her uptight daddy can’t stand the sight of.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/codi-gary/you-heard-what-she-said-idiot-she-s-not-dating-especially-not-a-man/) [Codi Gary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/codi-gary/) [Browse all 2,115 Idiot quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/idiot/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. 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