--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Most marriages are a mess, and the…" description: "\"Most marriages are a mess, and the children get caught between two bitter, antagonistic parents. My parents stayed married for 27 unhappy years, till t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/anne-lamott-188_bitter_most-marriages-are-a-mess-and-the-childr_2474472.png" --- # Most marriages are a mess, and the children get caught… ![“Most marriages are a mess, and the children get caught between two bitter, antagonistic parents. My parents stayed married for 27 unhappy years, till their kids were grown, and this was a catastrophe for us.” quote by Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/anne-lamott-188_bitter_most-marriages-are-a-mess-and-the-childr_2474472.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/anne-lamott-188_bitter_most-marriages-are-a-mess-and-the-childr_2474472.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb7/anne-lamott-188_bitter_most-marriages-are-a-mess-and-the-childr_2474472.png) > “Most marriages are a mess, and the children get caught between two bitter, antagonistic parents. My parents stayed married for 27 unhappy years, till their kids were grown, and this was a catastrophe for us.” [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Family conflict often harms children when parents remain hostile. **In simple terms:** Children suffer when parents fight. Key Takeaway Seek healthier family dynamics. Themes family conflict children marriage relationships Mood sad reflective serious Type advice personal When to use this quote - divorce counseling - parenting workshops - family therapy - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology toxic relationships emotional impact Questions to Reflect On - How can families break cycles of hostility? - What steps can parents take to protect children? A Different Perspective Not all marriages are irreparable; change is possible. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Antagonistic Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/antagonistic-parents-796824/) [Bitter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitter/) [Catastrophe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/catastrophe/) [Caught](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/caught/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Kids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kids/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriages](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriages/) [Marriages Mess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriages-mess-796821/) [Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married/) [Mess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mess/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents/) [Parents Stayed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-stayed-796823/) [Stayed Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stayed-married-796822/) [Two](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/two/) [Unhappy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unhappy/) [Us](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/us/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) ## Related quotes > [I always stayed married to my husband! Always, until the day he died! It's not true that we were separated!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/indira-gandhi/i-always-stayed-married-to-my-husband-always-until-the-day-he-died-it/) [Indira Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/indira-gandhi/) > [If I wanted to be ignored I could have stayed married!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-p/if-i-wanted-to-be-ignored-i-could-have-stayed-married/) [Phil P](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-p/) > [I wouldn't have been born if my parents had stayed in China. Which is kind of funny. But it also just kind of fills…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bowen-yang/i-wouldn-t-have-been-born-if-my-parents-had-stayed-in-china-which-is/) [Bowen Yang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bowen-yang/) > [My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/my-parents-stayed-together-for-forty-years-but-that-was-out-of-spite/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [As many conventionally unhappy parents did in the 1950s, my parents stayed together for the sake of the children—they divorced after my youngest brother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-h-lipton/as-many-conventionally-unhappy-parents-did-in-the-1950s-my-parents/) [Bruce H. Lipton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-h-lipton/) > [There are two kinds of houses in the neighborhood where I grew up-the ones where the parents stayed married, and the ones where they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/there-are-two-kinds-of-houses-in-the-neighborhood-where-i-grew-up-the/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [I'm always trying to encourage people not to limit themselves in the same way that many of our parents stayed with one job forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-brownstein/i-m-always-trying-to-encourage-people-not-to-limit-themselves-in-the/) [Carrie Brownstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-brownstein/) > [I am skittish about relationships, as most of the marriages I've seen up close have been ruinous for one or both parties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-am-skittish-about-relationships-as-most-of-the-marriages-i-ve-seen/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [I support gay unions. 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Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Most marriages I've known, and I've been married a long time and I've known a lot of married people - you wonder how they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-mazursky/most-marriages-i-ve-known-and-i-ve-been-married-a-long-time-and-i-ve/) [Paul Mazursky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-mazursky/) > [It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-jeni/it-is-a-sad-fact-that-50-percent-of-marriages-in-this-country-end-in/) [Richard Jeni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-jeni/) > [Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-fleming/most-marriages-don-t-add-two-people-together-they-subtract-one-from/) [Ian Fleming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-fleming/) ## More by Anne Lamott > [What an incredible drug fear is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/what-an-incredible-drug-fear-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [I guess he'll have to figure out someday that he is supposed to have this dark side, that it is part of what it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-guess-he-ll-have-to-figure-out-someday-that-he-is-supposed-to-have/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [It's funny where we look for salvation, and where we actually find it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/it-s-funny-where-we-look-for-salvation-and-where-we-actually-find-it/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Why couldn't Jesus command us to obsess over everything, to try to control and manipulate people, to try not to breathe at all, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/why-couldn-t-jesus-command-us-to-obsess-over-everything-to-try-to/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/publication-is-not-all-that-it-is-cracked-up-to-be-but-writing-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/your-problem-is-how-you-are-going-to-spend-this-one-odd-and-precious/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [And yet, I do believe there is ultimately meaning in the chaos, and also in the doldrums. What I resist is not the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/and-yet-i-do-believe-there-is-ultimately-meaning-in-the-chaos-and/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Raising a child, whether or not it is yours, is like Nautilus of the heart and soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/raising-a-child-whether-or-not-it-is-yours-is-like-nautilus-of-the/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“I heard a preacher say recently that hope is a revolutionary patience; let me add that so is being a writer. Hope begins in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-heard-a-preacher-say-recently-that-hope-is-a-revolutionary-patience/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-think-perfectionism-is-based-on-the-obsessive-belief-that-if-you/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [All criticism hurts me. I'm so in the wrong business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/all-criticism-hurts-me-i-m-so-in-the-wrong-business/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [We are going to die, as is everyone we adore - I hate this! But the question is, how do we live as women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/we-are-going-to-die-as-is-everyone-we-adore-i-hate-this-but-the/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You will go through your life thinking there was a day in second grade that you must have missed, when the grown-ups came in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-will-go-through-your-life-thinking-there-was-a-day-in-second/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You begin to string words together like beads to tell a story. You are desperate to communicate, to edify or entertain, to preserve moments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-begin-to-string-words-together-like-beads-to-tell-a-story-you-are/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You lose the known package of your nice organized self almost instantly here. Overeating is one way back, the way it is at funerals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-lose-the-known-package-of-your-nice-organized-self-almost/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) [Explore all 976 Anne Lamott quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) ## More Bitter quotes > [The cooler days have brought a wistful mood upon him. The smell of coalsmoke in the air at night. Old times, dead years. For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cormac-mccarthy/the-cooler-days-have-brought-a-wistful-mood-upon-him-the-smell-of/) [Cormac McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cormac-mccarthy/) > [From the bitter cold winter at Valley Forge, to the mountains of Afghanistan and the deserts of Iraq, our soldiers have courageously answered when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/solomon-ortiz/from-the-bitter-cold-winter-at-valley-forge-to-the-mountains-of/) [Solomon Ortiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/solomon-ortiz/) > [Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/don-t-be-bitter-everybody-suffers-if-you-can-accept-your-suffering/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Troy was a sweet, good man. We just were never destined to be married. We just didn't have the same values. But I'm not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-pleshette/troy-was-a-sweet-good-man-we-just-were-never-destined-to-be-married/) [Suzanne Pleshette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-pleshette/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [Holy shadows of the dead, I'm not to blame for your cruel and bitter fate, but the accursed rivalry which brought sister nations and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-the-great/holy-shadows-of-the-dead-i-m-not-to-blame-for-your-cruel-and-bitter/) [Alexander the Great](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-the-great/) > [One may have been a fool, but there's no foolishness like being bitter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-norris/one-may-have-been-a-fool-but-there-s-no-foolishness-like-being-bitter/) [Kathleen Norris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-norris/) > [“I doubt taking in a sullen, bitter, teenage girl with more issues than National Geographic is at the center of the vision board for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-doubt-taking-in-a-sullen-bitter-teenage-girl-with-more-issues-than/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [Tireless passion, fierce jealousy, longing to possess and crush-these alone were left of all his love for Rosalind; these remained to him as payment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/tireless-passion-fierce-jealousy-longing-to-possess-and-crush-these/) [F. 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