--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Grief ends up giving you the two best…" description: "\"“Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.”\" — Anne Lamott" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png" --- # Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and… ![“Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.” quote by Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png) > ““Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.”” [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief, while painful, softens us and brings deeper insight. **In simple terms:** Grief softens and enlightens. Key Takeaway Embrace grief for growth. Themes grief growth insight Mood reflective hopeful Type emotional inspirational When to use this quote - personal loss - creative work - healing processes Key Concepts emotional resilience spiritual awakening Questions to Reflect On - How can softness aid healing? - What illumination follows grief? A Different Perspective Grief can overwhelm and stall progress. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grief Ends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-ends-647263/) [Softness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/softness/) [Softness Illumination](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/softness-illumination-4003534/) [Things Softness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-softness-4003535/) ## Related quotes > [“The love of all things was upon me, and a softness to them all, and a sense of having something even such as they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-d-blackmore/the-love-of-all-things-was-upon-me-and-a-softness-to-them-all-and-a/) [R.D. Blackmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-d-blackmore/) > [“You begin to cry and writhe and yell and then to keep on crying; and finally, grief ends up giving you the two best…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-begin-to-cry-and-writhe-and-yell-and-then-to-keep-on-crying-and/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“cry,child,for those without tears have a grief which never ends."-mexican saying”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luiz-j-rodriguez/cry-child-for-those-without-tears-have-a-grief-which-never-ends/) [Luiz J. Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luiz-j-rodriguez/) > [Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-i/grief-never-ends-but-it-changes-it-is-a-passage-not-a-place-to-stay/) [Elizabeth I](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-i/) > [“cry, child, for those without tears have a grief which never ends.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luis-j-rodr-guez/cry-child-for-those-without-tears-have-a-grief-which-never-ends-2/) [Luis J. Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luis-j-rodr-guez/) > [“On your lips, my smile begins and my grief ends. وعلى شفتيك تبدا ابتسامتي وتنتهي احزاني”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amany-al-hallaq/on-your-lips-my-smile-begins-and-my-grief-ends/) [Amany Al-Hallaq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amany-al-hallaq/) > [“Grief never ends … But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-vanliere/grief-never-ends-but-it-changes-it-s-a-passage-not-a-place-to-stay/) [Donna VanLiere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-vanliere/) > [All I know is that after 10 years of being sober, with huge support to express my pain and anger and shadow, the grief…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/all-i-know-is-that-after-10-years-of-being-sober-with-huge-support-to/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [I don't want to overvalue Donald Trump as some historical rupture, and to admit that I do think Trump is an indication of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-clover/i-don-t-want-to-overvalue-donald-trump-as-some-historical-rupture-and/) [Joshua Clover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-clover/) > [We touched with a softness that pushed through the skin into memory, like arms plunged into a river - we could feel the weight…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-van-booy/we-touched-with-a-softness-that-pushed-through-the-skin-into-memory/) [Simon Van Booy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-van-booy/) > [When you move as openness and softness of heart you’re moving in this life within your self in the same way that your being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-de-ruiter/when-you-move-as-openness-and-softness-of-heart-you-re-moving-in-this/) [John de Ruiter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-de-ruiter/) > [If you die of cancer with only openness and softness in your heart, you will live and die integrating your self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-de-ruiter/if-you-die-of-cancer-with-only-openness-and-softness-in-your-heart/) [John de Ruiter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-de-ruiter/) > [I burn, I freeze; I am never warm. I am rigid; I forgot softness because it did not serve me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherynne-m-valente/i-burn-i-freeze-i-am-never-warm-i-am-rigid-i-forgot-softness-because/) [Catherynne M. Valente](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherynne-m-valente/) > [Staring at her face, she began to fancy her outer layer had begun to melt away while she wasn't paying attention, and something --…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laini-taylor/staring-at-her-face-she-began-to-fancy-her-outer-layer-had-begun-to/) [Laini Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laini-taylor/) > [And a softness came from the starlight and filled me full to the bone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/and-a-softness-came-from-the-starlight-and-filled-me-full-to-the-bone/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Anne Lamott > [What an incredible drug fear is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/what-an-incredible-drug-fear-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [I guess he'll have to figure out someday that he is supposed to have this dark side, that it is part of what it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-guess-he-ll-have-to-figure-out-someday-that-he-is-supposed-to-have/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [It's funny where we look for salvation, and where we actually find it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/it-s-funny-where-we-look-for-salvation-and-where-we-actually-find-it/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Why couldn't Jesus command us to obsess over everything, to try to control and manipulate people, to try not to breathe at all, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/why-couldn-t-jesus-command-us-to-obsess-over-everything-to-try-to/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/publication-is-not-all-that-it-is-cracked-up-to-be-but-writing-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/your-problem-is-how-you-are-going-to-spend-this-one-odd-and-precious/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [And yet, I do believe there is ultimately meaning in the chaos, and also in the doldrums. What I resist is not the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/and-yet-i-do-believe-there-is-ultimately-meaning-in-the-chaos-and/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Raising a child, whether or not it is yours, is like Nautilus of the heart and soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/raising-a-child-whether-or-not-it-is-yours-is-like-nautilus-of-the/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“I heard a preacher say recently that hope is a revolutionary patience; let me add that so is being a writer. Hope begins in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-heard-a-preacher-say-recently-that-hope-is-a-revolutionary-patience/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-think-perfectionism-is-based-on-the-obsessive-belief-that-if-you/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [All criticism hurts me. I'm so in the wrong business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/all-criticism-hurts-me-i-m-so-in-the-wrong-business/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [We are going to die, as is everyone we adore - I hate this! But the question is, how do we live as women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/we-are-going-to-die-as-is-everyone-we-adore-i-hate-this-but-the/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You will go through your life thinking there was a day in second grade that you must have missed, when the grown-ups came in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-will-go-through-your-life-thinking-there-was-a-day-in-second/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You begin to string words together like beads to tell a story. You are desperate to communicate, to edify or entertain, to preserve moments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-begin-to-string-words-together-like-beads-to-tell-a-story-you-are/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“You lose the known package of your nice organized self almost instantly here. Overeating is one way back, the way it is at funerals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/you-lose-the-known-package-of-your-nice-organized-self-almost/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) [Explore all 976 Anne Lamott quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“It was beautiful. He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/) [Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) > [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/) [Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/) > [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) [J. Anthony Torino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-anthony-torino/) > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) [Alan W. Powers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-w-powers/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anne Lamott" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-things-softness-and-illumination/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Death" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-things-softness-and-illumination/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/618/anne-lamott-188_death_grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-th_460784.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.” — Anne Lamott", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anne Lamott", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Grief ends up giving you the...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-things-softness-and-illumination/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/grief-ends-up-giving-you-the-two-best-things-softness-and-illumination/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```