--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You make concessions when you're married…" description: "\"“You make concessions when you're married a long time that you don't believe you'll ever make when you're beginning. You say to yourself when you're yo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg" --- # You make concessions when you're married a long time that… ![“You make concessions when you're married a long time that you don't believe you'll ever make when you're beginning. You say to yourself when you're young, oh, I wouldn't tolerate this or that or the other thing, you say love is the most important thing in the world and there's only one kind of…” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg) > ““You make concessions when you're married a long time that you don't believe you'll ever make when you're beginning. You say to yourself when you're young, oh, I wouldn't tolerate this or that or the other thing, you say love is the most important thing in the world and there's only one kind of love and it makes you feel different than you feel the rest of the time, like you're all lit up. But time goes by and you've slept together a thousand nights and smelled like spit-up when babies are sick and seen your body droop and get soft. And some nights you say to yourself, it's not enough, I won't put up with another minute. And then the next morning you wake up and the kitchen smells like coffee and the children have their hair all brushed and the birds are eating out of the feeder and you look at your husband and he's not the person you used to think he was but he's your life. The house and the children and so much more of what you do is built around him and your life, too, your history. If you take him out it's like cutting his face out of all the pictures, there's a big hole and it's ugly. It would ruin everything. It's more than love, it's more important than love... It's hard. And it's hard to understand unless you're in it. And it's hard for you to understand now because of where you are and what you're feeling. But I wanted to say it...because I won't be able to say it when I need to, when it's one of those nights and you're locking the front door because of foolishness about romance, about how things are supposed to be. You can be hard, and you can be judgmental, and with those two things alone you can make a mess of your life the likes of which you won't believe. It's so much easier...the being happy. It's so much easier, to learn to love what you have instead of yearning always for what you're missing, or what you imagine you're missing. It's so much more peaceful.”” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Long‑term marriage transforms idealized love into a deep, imperfect partnership that requires patience and acceptance. **In simple terms:** Love evolves into commitment and routine. Key Takeaway Embrace the everyday. Themes relationships marriage commitment realism growth Mood reflective empathetic Type advice personal growth When to use this quote - parenting - shared chores - conflict resolution - daily rituals - intimacy Key Concepts psychology sociology Questions to Reflect On - What daily habits strengthen your bond? - How do you balance personal needs with partnership? 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"It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Front door quotes > [Oh to that corkscrew, the useful tool to unlock the treasure of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-guzaldo/oh-to-that-corkscrew-the-useful-tool-to-unlock-the-treasure-of-wit/) [Andrew Guzaldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-guzaldo/) > [“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-universe-contains-any-amount-of-horrible-ways-to-be-woken-up-such/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Ethan! 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You say to yourself when you're young, oh, I wouldn't tolerate this or that or the other thing, you say love is the most important thing in the world and there's only one kind of love and it makes you feel different than you feel the rest of the time, like you're all lit up. But time goes by and you've slept together a thousand nights and smelled like spit-up when babies are sick and seen your body droop and get soft. And some nights you say to yourself, it's not enough, I won't put up with another minute. And then the next morning you wake up and the kitchen smells like coffee and the children have their hair all brushed and the birds are eating out of the feeder and you look at your husband and he's not the person you used to think he was but he's your life. The house and the children and so much more of what you do is built around him and your life, too, your history. If you take him out it's like cutting his face out of all the pictures, there's a big hole and it's ugly. It would ruin everything. It's more than love, it's more important than love... It's hard. And it's hard to understand unless you're in it. And it's hard for you to understand now because of where you are and what you're feeling. But I wanted to say it...because I won't be able to say it when I need to, when it's one of those nights and you're locking the front door because of foolishness about romance, about how things are supposed to be. You can be hard, and you can be judgmental, and with those two things alone you can make a mess of your life the likes of which you won't believe. It's so much easier...the being happy. It's so much easier, to learn to love what you have instead of yearning always for what you're missing, or what you imagine you're missing. It's so much more peaceful.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anna Quindlen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married-a-long-time-that-you-don-t/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Front door" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married-a-long-time-that-you-don-t/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55c/anna-quindlen-467_front-door_you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married_647768.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You make concessions when you're married a long time that you don't believe you'll ever make when you're…” — Anna Quindlen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anna Quindlen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“You make concessions when you're married...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married-a-long-time-that-you-don-t/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-make-concessions-when-you-re-married-a-long-time-that-you-don-t/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```