--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you look back on your life there are…" description: "\"“When you look back on your life there are always times that you remember as the hard times, even if they're the hard times a girl has, not the hard ti..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg" --- # When you look back on your life there are always times… ![“When you look back on your life there are always times that you remember as the hard times, even if they're the hard times a girl has, not the hard times of a woman, with grief and loss and real hardship.” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg) > ““When you look back on your life there are always times that you remember as the hard times, even if they're the hard times a girl has, not the hard times of a woman, with grief and loss and real hardship.”” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Reflects on how women often recall early hardships more intensely than later adult struggles, highlighting the lasting impact of formative grief and loss. **In simple terms:** Women remember early hardships more vividly. Key Takeaway Acknowledge and heal past wounds. Themes gender memory grief resilience growth Mood reflective empathetic Type personal inspirational When to use this quote - parenting - therapy - support groups - personal reflection - writing memoirs Key Concepts feminist perspective psychology life stages Questions to Reflect On - How do early hardships shape adult identity? - What practices help integrate past grief? A Different Perspective Later adult challenges can also be profound but are less often recalled. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Grief and loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-and-loss/) [Hard time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-time/) [Hard times](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-times/) [Hardship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hardship/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Growing up, I was lucky that my dad was never out of work. I was very fortunate in one way: that I never experienced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-harron/growing-up-i-was-lucky-that-my-dad-was-never-out-of-work-i-was-very/) [Mary Harron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-harron/) > [Relationships don't last because of the good times, they last because the hard times were handled with love and care.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anmol-andore/relationships-don-t-last-because-of-the-good-times-they-last-because/) [Anmol Andore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anmol-andore/) > [Remember me for the times that I have loved, cherished and made promises that I am able to keep. Picture that! A positive mind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayeisha-strothers/remember-me-for-the-times-that-i-have-loved-cherished-and-made/) [Ayeisha Strothers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayeisha-strothers/) > [Youth is one of the most visceral times that I remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eoin-macken/youth-is-one-of-the-most-visceral-times-that-i-remember/) [Eoin Macken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eoin-macken/) > [It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-burns/it-s-hard-for-me-to-get-used-to-these-changing-times-i-can-remember/) [George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-burns/) > [“When you are going through difficult times, remember: you might have lost some major battles, but you survived and you're still here.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/when-you-are-going-through-difficult-times-remember-you-might-have/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Here's to good times we will never remember with friends we will never forget!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/here-s-to-good-times-we-will-never-remember-with-friends-we-will/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [Even right in the middle of the worst times, I remember thinking that I would choose this exact life again, that I would do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corinne-bailey-rae/even-right-in-the-middle-of-the-worst-times-i-remember-thinking-that/) [Corinne Bailey Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corinne-bailey-rae/) > [In my father's later years he asked several times that I remember him the way I knew him. He said that after his death,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-grant/in-my-father-s-later-years-he-asked-several-times-that-i-remember-him/) [Jennifer Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-grant/) > [These are the times I remember: The first time we held hands, the first time we kissed, the first time you said 'I Love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/these-are-the-times-i-remember-the-first-time-we-held-hands-the-first/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It's strange how the person, who gave you the most painful memories, also gave you the best times to remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rashida-rowe/it-s-strange-how-the-person-who-gave-you-the-most-painful-memories/) [Rashida Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rashida-rowe/) > [“…if a thing can be said to be, to exist, then such is the nature of these expansive times that this thing which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-kushner/if-a-thing-can-be-said-to-be-to-exist-then-such-is-the-nature-of/) [Tony Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-kushner/) > [“Rejoice in good times, but always remember that, sooner or later, good times will end, as will the bad times.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amar-ochani/rejoice-in-good-times-but-always-remember-that-sooner-or-later-good/) [Amar Ochani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amar-ochani/) > [I have times when I'm off-balance. I have times when I slur my words. I have times when I walk into walls. I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-j-fox/i-have-times-when-i-m-off-balance-i-have-times-when-i-slur-my-words-i/) [Michael J. Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-j-fox/) > [People say, 'We remember the good times.' Well I remember the bad times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ricky-hatton/people-say-we-remember-the-good-times-well-i-remember-the-bad-times/) [Ricky Hatton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ricky-hatton/) ## More by Anna Quindlen > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Sometimes change came all at once, with a sound like a fire taking hold of dry wood and paper, with a roar that rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/sometimes-change-came-all-at-once-with-a-sound-like-a-fire-taking/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Loss as muse. Loss as character. Loss as life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/loss-as-muse-loss-as-character-loss-as-life/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/knowledge-of-our-own-mortality-is-the-greatest-gift-god-ever-gives-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [You teach your 16-year-old with your heart in your mouth to be a good driver and none of that makes any difference when some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-teach-your-16-year-old-with-your-heart-in-your-mouth-to-be-a-good/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Every reader, I suspect, has a book like this somewhere in his or her past, a book that seemed to hold within it, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/every-reader-i-suspect-has-a-book-like-this-somewhere-in-his-or-her/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-ve-finally-recognized-my-body-for-what-it-is-a-personality-delivery/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/a-man-who-builds-his-own-pedestal-had-better-use-strong-cement/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“In England I am always madam; I arrived too late to ever be a miss. In New York I have only been madamed once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/in-england-i-am-always-madam-i-arrived-too-late-to-ever-be-a-miss-in/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“Yet there was always in me, even when I was very small, the sense that I ought to be somewhere else. And wander I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/yet-there-was-always-in-me-even-when-i-was-very-small-the-sense-that/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I can't think of a single downside to motherhood now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-can-t-think-of-a-single-downside-to-motherhood-now/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [It would take a helluva man to replace no man at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/it-would-take-a-helluva-man-to-replace-no-man-at-all/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Not writing at all leads to nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/not-writing-at-all-leads-to-nothing/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion. "Book love," Trollope called it. "It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Grief and loss quotes > [“When I can’t fight, I need you to fight harder. When I can’t be strong anymore, I need you to be stronger." - Neela…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-seril/when-i-can-t-fight-i-need-you-to-fight-harder-when-i-can-t-be-strong/) Steven Seril > [“It is said that Time soothes mourning – No, Time makes nothing happen; it merely makes the emotivity of mourning pass.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-barthes/it-is-said-that-time-soothes-mourning-no-time-makes-nothing-happen-it/) [Roland Barthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-barthes/) > [“If I hear the term ‘healing journey’ one more f–king time… It is not a ‘healing journey.’ It’s a ‘numb slog.’ It’s just a,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patton-oswalt/if-i-hear-the-term-healing-journey-one-more-f-king-time-it-is-not-a/) [Patton Oswalt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patton-oswalt/) > [“No sunset winks, but surely be followed by the sunrise! - Try to remember this on your moments of despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lamine-pearlheart/no-sunset-winks-but-surely-be-followed-by-the-sunrise-try-to-remember/) [Lamine Pearlheart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lamine-pearlheart/) > [Man, when he does not grieve, hardly exists.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonio-porchia/man-when-he-does-not-grieve-hardly-exists/) [Antonio Porchia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonio-porchia/) > [“We continued talking as my purchases were rung up—about the first Christmas, the sadness of ending up in a cemetery on a holiday, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-potter-kenyon/we-continued-talking-as-my-purchases-were-rung-up-about-the-first/) [Mary Potter Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-potter-kenyon/) > [“Though it’s reasons to burn may vary... you are always the fuel of my fire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranata-suzuki/though-it-s-reasons-to-burn-may-vary-you-are-always-the-fuel-of-my/) [Ranata Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranata-suzuki/) > [“She had thought that when someone died, it would be like they went into a different room. She had not known that life itself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-heti/she-had-thought-that-when-someone-died-it-would-be-like-they-went/) [Sheila Heti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-heti/) > [“I miss that feeling of connection. Knowing he was out there somewhere thinking about me at the same time I was thinking about him.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranata-suzuki/i-miss-that-feeling-of-connection-knowing-he-was-out-there-somewhere/) [Ranata Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranata-suzuki/) > [“Whenever something scary happens or I want to comment on something, like Joyce and Hopper’s constant bickering, which is getting annoying, I glance toward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-latos/whenever-something-scary-happens-or-i-want-to-comment-on-something/) Alexandra Latos > [“Grief is a ghost that shows up uninvited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brittany-burgunder/grief-is-a-ghost-that-shows-up-uninvited/) [Brittany Burgunder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brittany-burgunder/) > [“The opposite of grief is not laughter or happiness or joy. It is love. It is love. It is love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akif-kichloo/the-opposite-of-grief-is-not-laughter-or-happiness-or-joy-it-is-love/) Akif Kichloo > [“Grief is not a feeling it is a capacity. It is not something that disables you, we are not on the receiving end of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-jenkinson/grief-is-not-a-feeling-it-is-a-capacity-it-is-not-something-that/) Stephen Jenkinson > [“... he wasn't crying for the woman who had died. He was crying for the woman she had been.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-sala/he-wasn-t-crying-for-the-woman-who-had-died-he-was-crying-for-the/) [Sharon Sala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-sala/) > [“The only place I ever felt at home was with you. There isn’t a place for me anywhere anymore… I’ve been evicted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranata-suzuki/the-only-place-i-ever-felt-at-home-was-with-you-there-isn-t-a-place/) [Ranata Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranata-suzuki/) [Browse all 237 Grief and loss quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-and-loss/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When you look back on your life there are always times that you remember as the hard times, even if they're the hard times a girl has, not the hard times of a woman, with grief and loss and real hardship.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anna Quindlen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-are-always-times-that-you/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Grief and loss" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-are-always-times-that-you/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c2/anna-quindlen-467_grief-and-loss_when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-ar_544023.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you look back on your life there are always times that you remember as the hard times, even if they're…” — Anna Quindlen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Anna Quindlen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“When you look back on your...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-are-always-times-that-you/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/when-you-look-back-on-your-life-there-are-always-times-that-you/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```