--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There are those of us who believe that…" description: "\"There are those of us who believe that under certain conditions the cruelest thing you can do to people you love is to force them to live. There are th..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/585/anna-quindlen-467_beats_there-are-those-of-us-who-believe-that-u_2940504.jpg" --- # There are those of us who believe that under certain… ![“There are those of us who believe that under certain conditions the cruelest thing you can do to people you love is to force them to live. There are those of us who define living not by whether the heart beats and the lungs lift but whether the spirit is there, whether the music box plays.” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/585/anna-quindlen-467_beats_there-are-those-of-us-who-believe-that-u_2940504.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/585/anna-quindlen-467_beats_there-are-those-of-us-who-believe-that-u_2940504.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/585/anna-quindlen-467_beats_there-are-those-of-us-who-believe-that-u_2940504.jpg) > “There are those of us who believe that under certain conditions the cruelest thing you can do to people you love is to force them to live. There are those of us who define living not by whether the heart beats and the lungs lift but whether the spirit is there, whether the music box plays.” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True living is measured by spiritual presence and joy, not merely biological functions; forcing existence can be cruel. **In simple terms:** Life is about spirit and joy, not just being alive. Key Takeaway Value emotional and spiritual fulfillment. Themes existence compassion meaning Mood empathetic thoughtful Type ethical philosophical When to use this quote - caregiving - relationships - end‑of‑life decisions - personal growth Key Concepts philosophy of mind ethical care human flourishing Questions to Reflect On - What brings your spirit to life? - When is it compassionate to let go? A Different Perspective Sometimes survival is necessary despite suffering. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Beats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beats/) [Believe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believe/) [Boxes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boxes/) [Can do](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/can-do/) [Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/) [Conditions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conditions/) [Conditions Cruelest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conditions-cruelest-4381176/) [Cruelest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cruelest/) [Cruelest Thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cruelest-thing-581837/) [Define Living](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/define-living-4381177/) [Force](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/force/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Heart beat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart-beat/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Lifts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lifts/) [Living Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/living-heart-892822/) [Love is](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-is/) [Lungs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lungs/) [Music](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/music/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Play](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/play/) [Religion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/religion/) [Spirit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spirit/) ## Related quotes > [The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall when he doesnt have an intention of catching her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-cruelest-thing-a-guy-can-do-to-a-girl-is-to-let-her-fall-when-he/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [What is the cruelest thing you can do to someone who is trying to concentrate? Call their name.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bela-karolyi/what-is-the-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-someone-who-is-trying-to/) [Bela Karolyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bela-karolyi/) > [“Which is about the cruelest thing you can do to someone you love, give them just enough good to make them stick through a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-jenkins-reid/which-is-about-the-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-someone-you-love-give/) [Taylor Jenkins Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-jenkins-reid/) > [One of the most cruelest thing you can do to anybody is to pretend that you care more then you actually do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/one-of-the-most-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-anybody-is-to-pretend/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [The cruelest thing that has happened to Lincoln since he was shot by Booth was to fall into the hands of Carl Sandburg.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-wilson/the-cruelest-thing-that-has-happened-to-lincoln-since-he-was-shot-by/) [Edmund Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-wilson/) > [The cruelest thing of all is false hope, and just remember, if you look into the face of evil, evil is going to look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-lange/the-cruelest-thing-of-all-is-false-hope-and-just-remember-if-you-look/) [Jessica Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-lange/) > [The cruelest thing you can do to a person is pretend they mean more to you than they actually do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-a-person-is-pretend-they-mean-more/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Perhaps the cruelest thing ever said of Hubert Humphrey was that he had the soul of a vice president.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-estrich/perhaps-the-cruelest-thing-ever-said-of-hubert-humphrey-was-that-he/) [Susan Estrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-estrich/) > [The cruelest thing, hope, the way it strings you along, the way it makes you believe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackson-pearce/the-cruelest-thing-hope-the-way-it-strings-you-along-the-way-it-makes/) [Jackson Pearce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackson-pearce/) > [“It's one of the biggest scandals of life, to learn that the cruelest thing someone could say to you was you were a terrible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marisha-pessl/it-s-one-of-the-biggest-scandals-of-life-to-learn-that-the-cruelest/) [Marisha Pessl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marisha-pessl/) > [I think being a mother is the cruelest thing in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nella-larsen/i-think-being-a-mother-is-the-cruelest-thing-in-the-world/) [Nella Larsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nella-larsen/) > [The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yahtzee-croshaw/the-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-an-artist-is-tell-them-their-work-is/) [Yahtzee Croshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yahtzee-croshaw/) > [“She always made sure the bad was outweighed by so much good. I...well, I didn't do that for her. I made it fifty-fifty. Which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-jenkins-reid/she-always-made-sure-the-bad-was-outweighed-by-so-much-good-i-well-i/) [Taylor Jenkins Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-jenkins-reid/) > [“The cruelest thing you can do to someone is force them to hurt alone”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-colfer/the-cruelest-thing-you-can-do-to-someone-is-force-them-to-hurt-alone/) [Chris Colfer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-colfer/) > [The cruelest thing a man can do to a woman is to portray her as perfection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-cruelest-thing-a-man-can-do-to-a-woman-is-to-portray-her-as/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Anna Quindlen > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Sometimes change came all at once, with a sound like a fire taking hold of dry wood and paper, with a roar that rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/sometimes-change-came-all-at-once-with-a-sound-like-a-fire-taking/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Loss as muse. Loss as character. Loss as life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/loss-as-muse-loss-as-character-loss-as-life/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/knowledge-of-our-own-mortality-is-the-greatest-gift-god-ever-gives-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [You teach your 16-year-old with your heart in your mouth to be a good driver and none of that makes any difference when some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-teach-your-16-year-old-with-your-heart-in-your-mouth-to-be-a-good/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Every reader, I suspect, has a book like this somewhere in his or her past, a book that seemed to hold within it, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/every-reader-i-suspect-has-a-book-like-this-somewhere-in-his-or-her/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-ve-finally-recognized-my-body-for-what-it-is-a-personality-delivery/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/a-man-who-builds-his-own-pedestal-had-better-use-strong-cement/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“In England I am always madam; I arrived too late to ever be a miss. In New York I have only been madamed once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/in-england-i-am-always-madam-i-arrived-too-late-to-ever-be-a-miss-in/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“Yet there was always in me, even when I was very small, the sense that I ought to be somewhere else. And wander I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/yet-there-was-always-in-me-even-when-i-was-very-small-the-sense-that/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I can't think of a single downside to motherhood now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-can-t-think-of-a-single-downside-to-motherhood-now/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [It would take a helluva man to replace no man at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/it-would-take-a-helluva-man-to-replace-no-man-at-all/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Not writing at all leads to nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/not-writing-at-all-leads-to-nothing/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion. "Book love," Trollope called it. "It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Beats quotes > [Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-schama/histories-never-conclude-they-just-pause-their-prose-their-stories/) [Simon Schama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-schama/) > [So many things beat upon us in a lifetime that simply enduring may seem almost beyond us… But the test a loving God has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-b-eyring/so-many-things-beat-upon-us-in-a-lifetime-that-simply-enduring-may/) [Henry B. Eyring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-b-eyring/) > [The Beat Generation, that was a vision that we had, John Clellon Holmes and I, and Allen Ginsberg in an even wilder way, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/the-beat-generation-that-was-a-vision-that-we-had-john-clellon-holmes/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) > [Certainly these are not easy times. But history does not contain very many easy times. Years from now, we will look back at this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-ingraham/certainly-these-are-not-easy-times-but-history-does-not-contain-very/) [Laura Ingraham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-ingraham/) > [I usually write from the rhythm section...If a drummer got a funky beat on some things - like a half-shuffle or a shuffle or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miles-davis/i-usually-write-from-the-rhythm-section-if-a-drummer-got-a-funky-beat/) [Miles Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miles-davis/) > [If you don't like club beats take a HIT OF E and you will love the music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/if-you-don-t-like-club-beats-take-a-hit-of-e-and-you-will-love-the/) [Kevin McCarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/) > [Every pitcher can beat you, it doesn't matter how good you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-bonds/every-pitcher-can-beat-you-it-doesn-t-matter-how-good-you-are/) [Barry Bonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-bonds/) > [Only two to three per cent of an audience is interested in words and pays attention to lyrics; most of the rest of it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-stewart/only-two-to-three-per-cent-of-an-audience-is-interested-in-words-and/) [Al Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-stewart/) > [Joel Lane documents a life we don’t quite live, in a city we can’t quite find: half glimpsed and half imagined, we know it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chaz-brenchley/joel-lane-documents-a-life-we-don-t-quite-live-in-a-city-we-can-t/) [Chaz Brenchley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chaz-brenchley/) > [Practice to beat the best.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dick-bennett/practice-to-beat-the-best/) [Dick Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dick-bennett/) > [I don't know about the rest of the world, but I know in our region everyone is gunning to beat us. We have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/landon-donovan/i-don-t-know-about-the-rest-of-the-world-but-i-know-in-our-region/) [Landon Donovan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/landon-donovan/) > [Grand business plans are all very well, but nothing beats dipping your toe in the water.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baron-bilimoria-karan-bilimoria/grand-business-plans-are-all-very-well-but-nothing-beats-dipping-your/) [Baron Bilimoria Karan Bilimoria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baron-bilimoria-karan-bilimoria/) > [Let a man who has to make his fortune in life remember this maxim: Attacking is the only secret. Dare and the world yields,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-makepeace-thackeray/let-a-man-who-has-to-make-his-fortune-in-life-remember-this-maxim/) [William Makepeace Thackeray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-makepeace-thackeray/) > [Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/imagine-if-you-were-a-drummer-and-you-accidentally-picked-up-two/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-don-t-like-small-birds-they-hop-around-so-merrily-outside-my-window/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) [Browse all 3,311 Beats quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beats/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are those of us who believe that under certain conditions the cruelest thing you can do to people you love is to force them to live. 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