--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Perhaps only when we've made our peace…" description: "\"“Perhaps only when we've made our peace with our own selves can we really be the kind of friends who listen, advise, but don't judge, or not too harshl..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/anna-quindlen-467_friend_perhaps-only-when-we-ve-made-our-peace-w_3151752.jpg" --- # Perhaps only when we've made our peace with our own selves… ![“Perhaps only when we've made our peace with our own selves can we really be the kind of friends who listen, advise, but don't judge, or not too harshly.” quote by Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/anna-quindlen-467_friend_perhaps-only-when-we-ve-made-our-peace-w_3151752.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/anna-quindlen-467_friend_perhaps-only-when-we-ve-made-our-peace-w_3151752.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/anna-quindlen-467_friend_perhaps-only-when-we-ve-made-our-peace-w_3151752.jpg) > ““Perhaps only when we've made our peace with our own selves can we really be the kind of friends who listen, advise, but don't judge, or not too harshly.”” [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self-acceptance enables us to support friends without judgment, fostering healthier relationships. **In simple terms:** Accepting yourself lets you be a better, non‑judgmental friend. Key Takeaway Cultivate self‑compassion to improve friendships. Themes self-acceptance friendship empathy Mood thoughtful hopeful Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - counseling sessions - conflict resolution - support groups Key Concepts psychology boundaries listening Questions to Reflect On - What does self‑acceptance look like in practice? - How can you balance empathy with honesty? A Different Perspective Over‑emphasis on self‑acceptance may ignore accountability. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friend/) [Friends Listen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friends-listen-1140865/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Kind Friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind-friends-994576/) [Peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peace/) [Peace Selves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peace-selves-5660596/) [Really Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/really-kind-558303/) [Selves Really](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selves-really-5660597/) ## Related quotes > [But the point is, now, at this moment, or any moment, we're only cross-sections of our real selves. 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But bind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-b-hinckley/be-careful-of-your-friends-they-can-make-you-or-break-you-be-generous/) [Gordon B. Hinckley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-b-hinckley/) > [“I can no longer refuse myself the pleasure of profiting by your kind invitation when we last parted of spending some weeks with you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/i-can-no-longer-refuse-myself-the-pleasure-of-profiting-by-your-kind/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [Bind to you friends of your own kind, friends who will encourage you, stand with you, live as you desire to live, who will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-b-hinckley/bind-to-you-friends-of-your-own-kind-friends-who-will-encourage-you/) [Gordon B. Hinckley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-b-hinckley/) > [“47If you are kind only to your friends,\* how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walk-thru-the-bible/47if-you-are-kind-only-to-your-friends-how-are-you-different-from/) [Walk Thru the Bible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walk-thru-the-bible/) > [VALUE OF FRIENDS Give me kind friends, true friends in need, Who don no idle, winning wiles, And who will be true friends, indeed.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bhaboo/value-of-friends-give-me-kind-friends-true-friends-in-need-who-don-no/) [Bhaboo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bhaboo/) ## More by Anna Quindlen > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Sometimes change came all at once, with a sound like a fire taking hold of dry wood and paper, with a roar that rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/sometimes-change-came-all-at-once-with-a-sound-like-a-fire-taking/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Loss as muse. Loss as character. Loss as life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/loss-as-muse-loss-as-character-loss-as-life/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [knowledge of our own mortality is the greatest gift God ever gives us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/knowledge-of-our-own-mortality-is-the-greatest-gift-god-ever-gives-us/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [You teach your 16-year-old with your heart in your mouth to be a good driver and none of that makes any difference when some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/you-teach-your-16-year-old-with-your-heart-in-your-mouth-to-be-a-good/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Every reader, I suspect, has a book like this somewhere in his or her past, a book that seemed to hold within it, at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/every-reader-i-suspect-has-a-book-like-this-somewhere-in-his-or-her/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“I’ve finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-ve-finally-recognized-my-body-for-what-it-is-a-personality-delivery/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [A man who builds his own pedestal had better use strong cement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/a-man-who-builds-his-own-pedestal-had-better-use-strong-cement/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“In England I am always madam; I arrived too late to ever be a miss. In New York I have only been madamed once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/in-england-i-am-always-madam-i-arrived-too-late-to-ever-be-a-miss-in/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“Yet there was always in me, even when I was very small, the sense that I ought to be somewhere else. And wander I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/yet-there-was-always-in-me-even-when-i-was-very-small-the-sense-that/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I can't think of a single downside to motherhood now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-can-t-think-of-a-single-downside-to-motherhood-now/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [It would take a helluva man to replace no man at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/it-would-take-a-helluva-man-to-replace-no-man-at-all/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Not writing at all leads to nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/not-writing-at-all-leads-to-nothing/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion. "Book love," Trollope called it. "It will make your hours pleasant to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/reading-has-always-been-my-home-my-sustenance-my-great-invincible/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) [Explore all 538 Anna Quindlen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) ## More Friend quotes > [I'm trying to write a film with my friend. I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-howard/i-m-trying-to-write-a-film-with-my-friend-i-d-love-to-get-the-thrill/) [Russell Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-howard/) > [I gave my archive to Emory University because there's a really dear friend who teaches there, Rudolph Byrd, and he's the editor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-walker/i-gave-my-archive-to-emory-university-because-there-s-a-really-dear/) [Alice Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-walker/) > [Friends are like stars you can't always see them, but you know they're there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknwon/friends-are-like-stars-you-can-t-always-see-them-but-you-know-they-re/) [Unknwon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unknwon/) > [“But my best friend from college was silent for a long time. She, of all of my friends, had seen the parade of sad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-groff/but-my-best-friend-from-college-was-silent-for-a-long-time-she-of-all/) [Lauren Groff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-groff/) > [“way. A true friend isn't the one that agrees with everything you say or do. A true friend is someone that has your back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shameek-speight/way-a-true-friend-isn-t-the-one-that-agrees-with-everything-you-say/) [Shameek Speight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shameek-speight/) > [No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/no-one-is-completely-unhappy-at-the-failure-of-his-best-friend/) [Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/) > [“The real purpose of friendship was to discover and exploit weakness in others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-thompson/the-real-purpose-of-friendship-was-to-discover-and-exploit-weakness/) [Brian Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-thompson/) > [That FRIEND who claim they do anything for you. but yet talk behind your back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kushsoulja/that-friend-who-claim-they-do-anything-for-you-but-yet-talk-behind/) [KushSoulja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kushsoulja/) > [In life, we never lose friends we only get to know who the true ones are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ace-kid/in-life-we-never-lose-friends-we-only-get-to-know-who-the-true-ones/) [Ace Kid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ace-kid/) > [“Before you were my enemy, you were my best friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kresley-cole/before-you-were-my-enemy-you-were-my-best-friend/) [Kresley Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kresley-cole/) > [Sam dropped me off. When she was too far away to see me, I started to cry again. 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